Title: Twisted Souls

Author: MQadhi

Genre/s: Romance

Number of Chapters: 5

Mature?: Yes

POV: First person

Status: Ongoing

TWISTED SOULS

[in the author's own words]

They think they are no good for each other, thinking they're different, Did they know they are perfectly alike?

"We won't do much of sleeping Cherry, and don't try to convince me that you're not interested in me"

"Who says that boys can't get flowers too?" 

"I would do whatever it takes to end up in your arms "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither social nor introverted, Odella Blake is just a reticent girl, who's haunted by a past that won't let her go.

One day her bestie introduces her to a new clique. Now she finds herself in a world turned upside-down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither the hero nor the villain, Ryder Vincenzo is a notoriously bad boy and newly crowned leader of the Black Hawks, a ruthless guy who cares for no one and nothing except his twin.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dive into this world full of cheesy humor, and twisting turns, and face the drama of a couple's life.

This is a teen romance story, more than a mafia one.

- ♡ -

B O O K  R E V I E W

[Before we begin, please keep in mind that everything mentioned below is my personal opinion. My intention isn't to offend anyone; the only reason I am going into such detail is to be able to help my fellow writers out there. I do not claim to be correct; just sharing my opinion from my experience here on Wattpad. The following review is based off of the first 5 parts only.]

TITLE: This story's title is short (readable on every device) and intriguing. To be very honest, it is not the most unique title out there (there are a lot of stories on Wattpad with the same title) but I really liked it. In such a case where the title is a very common one, the cover becomes more crucial in determining whether or not a potential reader will click on your story to check it out.

COVER: I do get the twisted soul vibe from the cover. But the story's title and author's name / username are not clearly visible.

♡♡♡.5

FIRST IMPRESSION: I absolutely adore this title (no matter how common it is). The cover made me feel like this is a book full of angst, yearning and romantic drama. The grammatical mistakes in the blurb are a little off-putting. 

♡♡♡.5

BLURB: Apart from the cover and title, the blurb plays a major role in determining whether or not someone clicks on your story to check it out. This is a different blurb style where you start with some particular / important dialogues to set the vibe before introducing your characters and the hook. The dialogues are instantly attracting, I would definitely want to know more about the story after that + the characters' intros. However, there are a few grammatical errors in the blurb which can dissuade potential readers. All you need is a simple run through MS Word or Grammarly and you'll be able to correct most of them through that.

♡♡♡.5

CHARACTERS: While what makes someone click on a story is a cover / title / blurb, what makes them stay is your plot and especially your characters. Their relatability, the whole vibe they give off and how well the characterization is done plays a huge role in a story. After all, it is easy to forget a story's title or maybe even plot but some characters stay with you even after you've finished reading the story.

From the 3 story parts I've read, I can't comment much on our FMC since plot-wise major things haven't happened yet that shape our character's arc.

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Judging from the 5 parts I have read...

PLOT & PACE - At times, I felt like the story moved a bit slow. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong or problematic with it. But since most readers don't go through a lot of chapters before deciding whether or not they're going to read ahead, you may want to add a hook or an element of surprise in each chapter so the readers keep reading ahead. You don't have to make it mysterious if the story doesn't call for it. You could also make it emotional since that immediately creates a connect. More on this explained below.

And, also I've noticed this but I'm not sure if it applies tbh (since I personally have a problem remembering names) but I felt like some of her friends should have been introduced before they become a part of a full-fledged conversation with our main character (that way we can know how close our FMC is to them and how connected they are; so readers can react accordingly).

GRAMMAR - I am not here to edit and pinpoint small mistakes (a simple run though MS Word or Grammarly can do that) so I'll be saying this from a reader's perspective - the kind that don't intentionally try to hunt for mistakes. Overall, I felt like were a few grammar / punctuation errors but as said above, all you need is a quick run through MS Word / Grammarly or similar softwares to solve them.

WRITING & DESCRIPTIONS - Since you've asked me to be extremely critical in this review, (referring to the show v/s tell writing technique used for descriptions), I have noticed this story uses a lot of tell. As a reader, at times, I felt like a scene was playing out in front of me (be it an emotional or not) one but I was simply observing it numbly. Since your story is in first person point of view, I "felt" xyz emotion or other emotional descriptions can instantly uplift a story and make you relate to a character more. I felt that missing in Chapter 1 and 2 (though tbh the writing has improved in Chapter 3).

One quick tip to avoid this is to try and use all 5 of your senses while you describe scenes. Picking out a scene randomly - Don't just say "I had black coffee" for instance; explain how bitter it tastes on your tongue. Is it hot or does it feel cold? What did it do to you (eg. caffeine high). This will make your readers connect to your character more.

READIBILITY & AESTHETICS - The paragraphs are sized properly - neither too small, nor too big and the overall aesthetic of the story on the screen is perfectly adequate. I suggest replacing all the bolds (used for flashbacks) + caps (used for a dramatic effect) with italics instead. I liked the character aesthetics inserted in this story.

♡♡♡.5

[Already covered this part above for better explanation there itself.]

Wishing you good luck for this story ahead *_*

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GENERAL POINTS TO NOTE FOR BOOK REVIEWS

Hey, there! Here is your book review. Hope this helped in any way. If there's something else you need an opinion on for this story, please feel free to drop a comment here.

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