Title: The Mys?ery Power

Author: jenniekiimm__

Genre/s: Horror, Mystery, Romance, Thriller

Number of Chapters: 1

Mature?: No

POV: y/n POV

Status: Ongoing

THE MYS?ERY POWER

[in the author's own words]

A girl named y/n was born in small town in Hanvey she was born with powers but she was not aware of it until she turned 18.But little she know she was the key of a mystery. Do you wanna no the mystery for that you have to read the whole story i am pretty sure you will like this story.

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B O O K  R E V I E W

[Before we begin, please keep in mind that everything mentioned below is my personal opinion. My intention isn't to offend anyone; the only reason I am going into such detail is to be able to help my fellow writers out there. I do not claim to be correct; just sharing my opinion from my experience here on Wattpad. The following review is based off of the 1 chapter posted so far.]

TITLE: This story's title is short (readable on every device) and simple - which is a good thing. I absolutely love how it stands out from among all other stories with such a title because of the ? question mark. This might make it a little difficult for this story to show up in the search results (eg. When someone searches for the word "Mystery", your story won't show up as it has "Mys?ery" in the title) but I absolutely like how unique it looks. Would defeinitely make me want to check this story out.

COVER: I personally love the vibe of this cover. Screams out mystery and thriller to me. The colours are very catchy too and the title & author's name are clearly visible too.

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FIRST IMPRESSION: The title and the cover instantly pulled me in and made me want to check this story out. So mysterious, the vibes are so sneakily scary. I loved it. [More on the blurb below.]

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BLURB: Apart from the cover and title, the blurb plays a major role in determining whether or not someone clicks on your story to check it out. The blurb is short and sweet (very representative of the length of your chapters too). However, there are a few grammatical errors there which may be off-putting considering the blurb is what helps a reader decide whether or not they're going to read a story. [A full stop is missing after Hanvey. Little did she know instead of but little did she know etc.] A simple run through MS Word / Grammarly / Google Docs etc. can solve that for you.

I feel like the blurb should tell us a bit more. It gives the crucial points about a girl who is the key to a mystery and finds her powers once she turns 18. But to make your story stand out, we need to know more of her conflict and plot. Eg. Why are her powers important? Who is she fighting? What are the stakes? What are the things that can go against her journey? This will help raise the stakes and your readers will want to root for your character more. Also, I suggest the line line about reading the story and liking it can be a different paragraph.

P.S. You don't have to change anything but if you wish to, you can always experiment with new styles of blurbs to see what kind attract readers most.

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Judging from the chapter I have read...

READING AESTHETICS: Since this whole story flows just in dialogues & narrations (I'm guessing), I suggest keeping the non-narratives separate. What I mean is: POV of Y/N, At morning can be in bold and sentences like call cuts can be in italics so that readers can understand the scene breaks more clearly.

PACE & HOOK - I like how you instantly started with a conflict / drama. Since this is a dialogue + narration story, I guess you won't be using descriptions a lot so starting it with the action head-on felt like a nice start to keep readers hooked.

GRAMMAR & WRITING - If there's one thing that needs to be worked on most, it is definitely this. Overall, I felt like were many grammar / punctuation errors but as said above, all you need is a quick run through MS Word or similar softwares to solve them. Though they aren't very difficult to solve, small errors like these can dissuade some readers from reading ahead so please work on them.

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Had fun reading so far! Wishing you good luck for this story *_*

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