Title: Fetish

Author: h-heavenangel

Genre/s: Romance, Fanfiction, Historical Fiction

Number of Chapters: 9

Mature?: No

POV: Multiple

Status: Ongoing

FETISH

[in the author's own words]

❝ He's got a fetish for her love. It's obvious. ❞

Ross Lynch.

 A man with the perfect life everyone dreams of.

He had everything; stunning dirty blonde hair, the perfect build, a smoking hot girlfriend, not to mention the countless numbers of fans going crazy for him.

His life was on cloud nine. Topping number one on the Billboard Charts, performing at Times Square, going on World Tours.

He was living the dream.

Well, that was until Laura Marano came crashing back into his life. Literally.

Laura Marano.

A woman with everything and everything at the tips of her finger.

The drugs, the fame, the artists, the money... you name it, and she'll have it.

It was all perfect for her, until Ross Lynch walked back into her life. That's when it all came crashing down.

Maybe, but not really...

A simple project called "Euphoria X Laura Marano" could change everything.

Past feelings will surface. Trust will be betrayed. Hearts will be broken. Secrets will be shared.

It's all just showbiz, what are the chances of finding true love?

- ♡ -

B O O K  R E V I E W

[Before we begin, please keep in mind that everything mentioned below is my personal opinion. My intention isn't to offend anyone; the only reason I am going into such detail is to be able to help my fellow writers out there. I do not claim to be correct; just sharing my opinion from my experience here on Wattpad. The following review is based off of the first 4/5 chapters only.]

TITLE: This story's title is short (readable on every device) and simple - which is a good thing. But if your objective is to gain more readers or make people check out your story, a unique title is what would pull them and make them click. Your title isn't quite a unique one (on Wattpad at least) and considering this isn't a mature story, it may err in communicating the plot / hook of your story at the first glance. So if your objective is to draw more eyes to this story, you might want to try changing the title (as an experiment if nothing) and see if it works.

COVER: The cover shows a man (singer) on stage. Though the title of this book is clearly visible, I suggest having the author's name / username on it since it helps your readers connect better with this story's cover and remember it / you though that. I personally would recommend trying out a different cover. You don't have to change it; this is just my suggestion.

♡♡♡.5

FIRST IMPRESSION: Though I am personally not a fan of the title or the cover (and have no clue about this fandom), the blurb made me curious. It suggested possible fake-dating or past drama or angsty vibes and I'm here for it! Since this story is a fanfiction, I can't be sure if the title + cover combo would make people from the fandom click (again, as I am unaware about this fandom) but the blurb would definitely pull them in.

♡♡♡.5

BLURB: Apart from the cover and title, the blurb plays a major role in determining whether or not someone clicks on your story to check it out. Your blurb has the perfect introductions, conflict and hook points in my opinion. The only issue I felt was the spacing because this blurb looks scattered. Combining a few lines into paras (so the intro is in a single para and the conflict is in another, for example) can help the plot / hook register better in a first time reader's mind.

P.S. You don't have to change anything but if you wish to, you can always experiment with new styles of blurbs to see what kind attract readers most.

♡♡♡♡

CHARACTERS: While what makes someone click on a story is a cover / title / blurb, what makes them stay is your plot and especially your characters. Their relatability, the whole vibe they give off and how well the characterization is done plays a huge role in a story. After all, it is easy to forget a story's title or maybe even plot but some characters stay with you even after you've finished reading the story.

I like how this begins with Ross's backstory. Makes us know he is not a singer just because. He is doing it for his true passion and the way he interacts with his fans is so cute. I absolutely loved how Laura struggled with writing the song (so so realistic!) and her relationship with her family is so well charted out.

♡♡♡♡

AND

[clubbing these 2 points to explain better]

Judging from the 4/ 5 chapters I have read...

FLOW, PACE & PRESENTATION - I really liked the way the story starts with a transcript. Gives it a very podcast-y vibe which suits this story very well in my opinion. However, flashbacks cannot be clubbed with a transcript - referring to when Ross was talking about the crowbar - it feels more like a flashback playing in his head than something he is narrating because of how the words flow.

Eg. While narrating an event to someone I wouldn't SAY (since this is a narrated transcript) ""Why the fuck can't I even use a goddamn crowbar!?" I cried out loud to no one in particular." I would probably say "I ended up crying out loud to no one in particular, angry at how I couldn't even use a goddamn crowbar." or something like "Why the fuck couldn't I even use a goddamn crowbar!? I was so angry at myself that I ended up crying out loud, at no one in particular." The style you have used here is more of a novel narration style, the kind we use in writing. But that's not how you would explain a situation to someone while talking to them. The word choices are more informal, less detailed or descriptive and also supposed to be a bit dramatic since people like to exaggerate their experiences. Eg. He could add a small "I was so embarrassed" somewhere to narrate his raw side of the story, as that's what he is doing in this scene. That would make this transcript flow more naturally, as per me. Hope I was able to communicate the point across clearly.

The latter part of that chapter is still presented in a transcript form but it starts becoming a narration altogether. Eg. It goes like Ross: I was there onstage, hearing the crowd call out my name. "Ross, Ross, Ross!" This is not a transcript anymore so the flow of this chapter needs to be worked on once to maintain uniformity. The same thing applies to the next chapter as well.

A lot of what happens in the prologue is already covered in the transcript earlier so it feels like more of a filler especially because the scenes are exactly the same (along with the use of words). So it doesn't really make a difference to / in this chapter and makes the chapter unnecessarily long. Saying this because by this point in the story, any potential reader would decide whether or not they want to continue reading this story so it becomes crucial to hold their interests. I like how it ended at a cliffhanger but the true (unique) content of this chapter was just the end part that happened on stage. The rest of the story flowed well and the pace was apt too. I like how you always tried to end with cliffhangers. Makes you want to read the next chapter and find out more.

PLOT & HOOK - [already covered in the blurb]. I really like how you're keeping the mystery alive when Ross doesn't mention the girl's name and we never find out who was the guy Laura met.

DESCRIPTIONS - Since the first few chapters were transcripts, descriptions are not really required here. As for the rest of the story, I like how realistically it flows. The descriptions work well too and don't seem forced or unnecessary.

GRAMMAR & PUNCTUATION - I am not here to edit and pinpoint small mistakes (a simple run though MS Word or Grammarly can do that) so I'll be saying this from a reader's perspective - the kind that don't intentionally try to hunt for mistakes. Overall, I felt like were a very few grammar / punctuation errors but as said above, all you need is a quick run through MS Word or similar softwares to solve them.

Overall, I like how this begins and how the scenes go, one by one. The element of mystery and angst / drama is what works in this story's favour. Wishing you good luck for this story ahead *_*

♡♡♡♡ 

GENERAL POINTS TO NOTE FOR BOOK REVIEWS

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