○●○●○»«●○●○●

Pillows drenched with tears and sweat,
every night I cry myself to sleep.

Now I'm thinking,
how things could have turn out,
If I didn't do, the things I did..
Thinking about the many problems I have,

The things I have encountered in life and how everything always doesn't turn out right,

I scream and shout in my head like what i always did,
I weep and break down inside my heart,

pondering about this and that..
like, Am I that wicked?

For me to experience all of these things,
What does it mean?
What am I then?
Am I just unlucky or cursed?

Waking up is a burden..
And sleep for me is hard to find,
I know, I'm just living to die,
I wanted to take my life..

But, found out..
suicide isn't exactly an option,
tried so many times,
every time, in every way..
I'm a failure..

So, as before I ask God..

How come, I'm still alive?

Then thoughts came flooding in..

I am tormented by countless of predicaments, that's a fact..

But, then as I close my eyes..

This realize,
with one million things that I can think of,

To end this life that I have..

There is at least 10 reasons why I shouldn't,

And that 10 is good enough for me.

Worth every suffering and heartache,
and yes!
even with all of these,
still, I consider myself..

"Blessed"