I've never felt more alone then when I'm in a group. I watch their eyes as they pass over me like I'm a ghost. My heart pangs when they don't even notice me. But it's not their job to keep me alive.

I've never felt more dead then when I'm doing something I used to love. It reminds me of a time when I cared. When I wasn't leashed by my demons or bound by a blade stained red.

I've never felt more hate then when my friends tell me they love me. They rush the words out of their mouth and never make eye contact.

I've never felt more scared then when I stood on the chair and the rope necklace was wrapped around my neck. What if I failed? I would be judged harshly.

But I've never felt more free than when the chair fell out from under me and after a minute the darkness filled my vision and all the pain of being alone, dead but alive, and hated seeped out of me finally.