Narrator's pov

-

Sometimes we care more than we should

Then it hurts us more when things don't go the way we expect it to

Sometimes we meet the right people but at the wrong time

But does that mean we let them go and hope to find them again?

We toss them out into the world and play a game with nature, hoping they return when it's convenient to us?

We could only hope that our feelings are mutual. That they feel the exact same thing as we do

But when we realize that they don't, it kills us inside

We crumble into sand, what was once a strong concrete block was now nothing but small particles being tossed again, only hoping to be put back together as a whole

So when Kate realized her feelings meant nothing, it only made her break into sand but this time she knew she had no one to put her back together

Because the person she wanted to put her back together was holding another woman in their arms

A pain that no one can describe

To see your crush smiling and twirling the small strands of hair around their ear when they talk to someone else. To see their smile the biggest it's ever been with that person and not you

But it wasn't just a crush with Kate

She knew she had gone further than she should have and she hated it. She hated every single second of the fact that she had fallen for someone who wasn't ready to be honest with her, to be there for her, to even acknowledge her own feelings

She hated the fact that she had fallen so deeply for Autumn Hester

Kate's hands gripped the metal lock on her trailer door, her forehead leaned against the wooden doorframe and her lips trembled as the hot breath left her trembling body

Her heart felt as if it was tied to an anchor and dropped to the bottom of the ocean, she felt every second go by when that cold layer came in. Layer by layer she felt colder, shaking from depths, filling every vein with water and slowly locking off any oxygen from entering her lungs. Then a burn came, a burn that trailed from the same cold water, relishing in each heart string until it reached every vein in the human body and setting it on fire. But with that pain soon came a poke. A poke of a sharp needle into the center of her heart, taking away anything positive she had written in her mind and allowing the dark feelings to flood into her system from that small prick

She had never had that pain. It was new, she had never had someone to care about as much as she did with Autumn. The girl was her first in many ways

Her first girl hookup, her first girl kiss, the first person she had ever genuinely had such overwhelming feelings towards and the first person to break her heart without even knowing it

"Kate" Her voice muffled through the door, only lighting a match in Kate's eyes

The brunette furrowed her brows as she slowly leaned up to the peek hole through the door

"Kate open the door" Autumn said

The shorter actress remained silent, not sure of whether to listen or to remain silent

"Kate please?" Her voice came again, tugging at Kate's heart that was already burning

"Baby" Autumn whispered so gently, the touch of rose petals were nothing compared to the velvet sound of her voice

The brunette's heart sunk lower than it already was but this time with a touch of warmth, rushing into her blood with pressure and completely catching her off guard

"Baby" the word played over and over again in her mind, confused as if she had heard correctly yet desperately hoping she had heard right

Kate's hand gripped the knob and unhooked the door, she took a step back while her head hung low. A foot entered past the door before she heard it lock once again

"Kate" Autumn whispered

The brunette sucked in a deep breath before she allowed her head to tilt up, those brown eyes were a mess. The perfect warm tone makeup she had on her cheek were now stained from the salty release running down to her neck, smearing what was neath and turned it into a mess

"Kate I can explai-"

"Don't" Kate whispered

"No, let me talk-"

"Just. Don't" Kate whispered again

"Kate please. Just let me explain"

"You don't have to. I don't own you, I'm just your roommate remember? You don't owe me an explanation for what you do with your life or who you do" Kate muttered

"Oh for heaven sakes Kate just listen to me!"

"I just wish it was different" Kate said as her eyes met blue orbs

"What was different?" Autumn questioned

The walls felt as if they were closing in with each sharp breath they took. So far apart yet so stitched together, there was an energy between then like magnets, pushing and pulling each other to lean in, touch the soft skin they missed yet at the same time it hissed to step away

Kate couldn't bring herself to look the girl in the eye, her mind forced her to stay away but her heart played a different drum. It poked at her to just melt in those blue orbs, a dare to take a dive in that ocean blue eyes she loved so much

She fought herself to not step forward, but it was a battle she was losing. Autumn could go the worse but Kate knew she'd always fall back into the girl

The raven hair girl took a chance by stepping forward, to her surprise the brunette didn't budge. Her mind told her to move yet her heart controlled her to stay still, craving Autumn's closeness

It was driving her crazy, the screams of the devil and angel on her shoulder to leave or to stay, to protect what was left of her heart and dignity, to take that road out while she still had it, yet there she was standing there with Autumn's chest pressed against her own. Only God himself would feel the fight inside her that was becoming exhausting

"What are you doing to me Autumn" Kate barely muttered out

"What am I doing?" Autumn whispered, her eyes landing on those melting chocolate brown ones

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Autumn, don't pretend like you don't feel it either" Kate hissed

The raven hair girl gave a small smile before taking another step closer. It it wasn't possible, the two were glued together, their bodies turned to one and their hot lingering breaths against each other's lips created such a tension unlike any other

Kate's thumb ran across the girl's cheek, gently brushing against her smooth skin and sending a tingle down Autumn's back

Autumn's hands on the girl's waist held her tightly almost as if she was scared of the girl leaving, something that was true and applied in the way she held her close

"Nothing happened, I can promise you that. You need to trust me, I know how it looked but believe me, I didn't do that and I wouldn't do anything because my heart is yours" Autumn whispered against the girl's lips

Kate's eyes squeezed together tightly as her heart started to race in her chest, life filled the air around them rather than the previous dark energy

"I want you Kate. I just. Want. You" Autumn whispered

The fireworks exploded one by one in the brunette's stomach, making sure that she felt every spark, every feeling tugging at her insides to feel warm

Her senses felt overwhelmed, all bubbling inside and threatening to boil over

"I'm gonna take you on a date, tonight. I don't care if it takes twenty fucking years, I'm gonna gain your trust back. You're worth it Kate, you-"

Autumn's words failed her when Kate's hands gripped onto her cheeks and pulled her forward, crashing her lips onto her own

She couldn't hold herself back, Autumn's lips called for her. Kate's heart was stronger in the fight, there was no way she could ever resit the actress no matter how much tried and she knew that now

Those soft and familiar lips touched hers and started off the fireworks like the fourth of July, one by one they went off and exploded into her veins

Her eyes drifted shut as the feeling took over her, filling what was once cold and melting her away. Their soft skins completed with a trail of goosebumps when that electric sensation rolled through their senses

Her loft lips brushed against Kate's as she melted. Their eyes closed tightly as Kate captured the girl's bottom lip between hers

Their body shudder in pleasure as she ran a tongue across her bottom lip, begging for entrance. Autumn's lips parted and allowed muffled moans to escape as her tongue roamed her mouth moving against her tongue

Her hands locked the nape of Autumn's neck, moaning in her mouth as the girl pulled her closer

Their soft whimpers left their lips before going deeper, their strong tongues fighting against each other while their bodies pressed tighter

It was the perfect ending to a tragic day, little did they know what the future held for them both

But it didn't matter, for they both knew they were ready to take on the world while holding each other's heart

-
A/N

Well this was fun 🦋

Please stop spamming for updates, I'm sick and it hurts to breathe much less write

And stop asking if I'm posting another book after finishing this, I've been writing every single day since January.

Hope you guys have a good day ♥
I love you