Narrator's pov

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Usually when we wake from our sleeps the next morning, we expect our day to go a bit better, we hope yesterday's misery stayed in the past

Afterall, it's a new day isn't it?

So why not have clean slate, a fresh start. Almost like popping out and popping back in a memory card

But as we all know, life doesn't work that way

And unfortunately for our little Katie, her misery made a guest appearance the next day

"Why do I do this to myself Beary?" Kate pouted as her eyes met the stuffed animal on her bed

His big black button eyes and pink thread cheek still wasn't enough to settle Kate's nerves from last night where she simply went up to bed, leaving Autumn and her ex below

The stabbing feeling in her heart and the heavy weight that felt like it rested on her small head, trying to drag her body down into the ground took over her when she saw Brooke running her fingers along Autumn's body

But the fact that Autumn did nothing about it just clenched her heart even more

So she left them, alone in the dark. She knew not of what happened afterwards, but she surely didn't want to find out

"Life is a blackhole that sucks up expectations and shits out reality" Kate groaned as she propped herself onto her elbows

"Let's just hope I have some energy left over to go through this day" She rolled her eyes and peeled the covers off her body

The hot water ran from the metal sprout, pushing the liquid courage out and daring Kate to step in and embrace the restart button of her life

The water trickled down her body, running down the nape of her neck and peppering kisses along her back done as she hung her head low, feeling the water raise into her hair

A simple shower was enough to reset the mind and bring in fresh emotions

Well, sometimes it worked because Kate still felt as if the heavy weight was on her body, moving to her throat and daring her to cry

What even was that pain she felt? She had no idea what they could have talked about last night or what they even did

She trusted Autumn

Right?

Surely the actress wouldn't go back on her word about wanting Kate, the girl who had nothing to offer except her heart. Why would Autumn want to give up the mere thought of getting back with a purple hair goodness who seemed to know her more than anyone else did

Unfortunately that's where Kate was wrong. No one knew Autumn, except her.

Hell, Autumn didn't even know herself yet Kate knew who she was and the path she was heading down

But this is a wattpad book and nothing goes to plan

Insecurities creep in and we falter out the positives with the negatives

We beat ourselves up because we're angry. Angry that we shouldn't feel jealous over a person we didn't claim, yet there it was. That feeling. That burning anger of anyone even being so close to them. The image of someone else's fingers, caressing their skin the way that you did drives you to another level of burning rage you hadn't experienced. But then again, why should we feel angry over someone we didn't claim?

Oh how we wished we had all of the answers. Someone to tell us that it was okay to feel, it was okay to crave and it was okay to want

But it was not okay to sit back and allow someone else to take what was yours

Even if you didn't claim that property in the first place

But Autumn wasn't property, she was human

A broken human that just needed to be loved

Unfortunately Kate wasn't that brave to stand up to Brooke, the girl was far too intimidating

It had always been her line that she walked on. Since her childhood, Kate had never had something go according to the way she wanted it to

Whatever she wanted, she never got unless she went out and got it for herself

And when she did get it for herself, someone would swoop right in and take it away

Like a child with an ice cream cone, we wait and wait until it was just the right time to make our move to that singing white van with the colourful flavours on its door. We saved up until we knew it was the right amount for the one thing we wanted. But then came the taller kids one their bikes and runny noses, thinking they're superior to everyone and everything.

The second that silky smooth and mouth watering ice cream touches our fingers, it's snatched away from us by the 'big bullies'

They laugh at our faces and throw our cones to the ground, not even taking the time to atleast taste it. No, they would rather treat it like it was nothing instead of appreciate its glory

So we stand there with a hole in our hearts and a clench fist where our award should be

But instead of it being in ours arms, it was tossed into the trash with the toxic pieces of shits that never cared about it in the first place

And Kate would stand there with her pout and glossy eyes and watch them take over what was once hers and do nothing about it

A/N that's what happens when you're a bottom -.-

So why was it that Autumn was still the only thing on her mind?

Kate's breathing became deeper as her fingers started to tremble. She placed both of her palms flatly against the wall as she felt the water run down her body.

Her head felt lighter than usual and her heart stung from her own thoughts damaging her happiness

Yet she still thought of Autumn, the raven hair girl's soft lips that would tease into a smile when her eyes landed on Kate

She felt a soft kiss pressed against the nape of her neck and arms wrapped around her from behind. Kate's eyes shut tightly and she remembered the feeling of Autumn's arms holding her.

The way her touch would simply drive her crazy, the way her voice would have her heart running wild in her chest like horses running in an open field on a golden sunset

The way each stroke of her fingertips left a line of goosebumps along her sensitive skin

Kate turned around and placed her back against the wall. Her eyes landing on the thoughts of those familiar blue orbs that melted from ice and turned into the mid day blue sky with the bright shining run filling her smile

Kate knew she was just imaginging Autumn standing there with her but God it felt so feel

Her urge to have Autumn was bigger than she had imagined

It wasn't sex, it wasn't lust

She wanted to love Autumn through her darkness, through her brightness. She wanted to love Autumn for who she was and who she is becoming

But will that ever happen?

She saw Brooke with her own eyes, the way those green sparkling eyes melted Autumn and the way Brooke knew every weak spot of the girl

Kate watched her touch Autumn in those places only she knew made Autumn crazy and it hurt

It hurt so much that she stopped her own breath from filling her lungs

Because there was only one thing that could ever leave her in disbelief

Autumn.

And so she refused to have Brooke being a second

"Fuck, what are you doing to me Autumn" Kate whispered before sinking her fingers into her hair, lightly tugging on a few strands in frustration

The running water turned into small droplets, each sound echoing off the marbled walls of the shower. Each drip reminding Kate of the seconds that went by where her questions were still unanswered

And so she took a step out of the shower, feeling her body go on restart. The towel through her hair flipped the switch. The shirt on her back was a new page and the shoes on her feet was that key turning the door

Kate made her way down the stairs, amused by the fact that it was silent. Not a giggle was heard or the deafening screams of Autumn yelling at Brooke

Something she hoped for because she knew if Autumn wasn't mad at her ex then it was going down the wrong road

And Kate didn't know if her heart was ready for that

But are we ever ready for what life throws at us?

Kate has seen it over and over, challenges after challenges and broken promises after the other

Nothing should surprise her at this point right?

Wrong

Nothing had prepared Kate for the moment she walked into the kitchen and saw Brooke at the dining table with a smirk and a fresh hickey on her neck

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A/N
Sigh. I hurt myself with this ngl