Winding Memories; My World.
So far today has been an incredible day, just for the main reason that it has been Odette and I on our own with no interruptions. Breakfast at the hotel was incredible, everything tastes absolutely amazing, I'm not sure whether it's because I'm in a different country or just Odette's presence but everything feels like a dream - and I'm not sure if I want to wake up.
Blueberry pancakes were our choice of the day this morning, and we ate in the comfort of our hotel room, the small balcony was perfect for the occasion as the warm morning sun hitting just the right temperature for us - a light breeze passing to keep us cool in the stifling winter heat. Our next activity was to take a bike ride around town, stopping off at Odette's favourite places on the way and taking as many pictures as we can; so far we've been to a small museum, a coffee shop, market stalls and are now on our way to a nice landscape from one of Odette's pictures.
I smile at her childish giggle as she watches me attempt to ride the bike, I haven't ridden one in a very long time and so far I've had a few near-misses with walls or sandwich boards, which in my opinion shouldn't have been put there in the first place, but I don't mind her laughing at me - it's one of the things I love about her. Speaking of love, Julia hasn't mentioned anything about my small outburst yesterday when I confessed my undying feelings for her daughter; she's taken the news very well in fact, better than I thought she would.
So far I'm keeping my promise to her, Odette is safe and happy with me. Her smile hasn't faded all day - actually if I think about it, she's been happy ever since we arrived at her house yesterday; she looks so natural, so perfect when she smiles or laughs. It makes me proud to think of how much she's overcome in her life, I think about it all the time, how incredibly brave she is; her mood doesn't falter as we continue to pedal, stumbling through dirt paths, Odette waving to old friends, and me simply looking dumbfounded as I ride a bike that has a wicker basket on the front.
'We're here.' She pauses and gets off her bike, laying it down gently on the grass as we walk through the centre of town to a small bridge. Their shops and houses are incredible, bursting with colour everywhere you look - displaying the plumage of colours like a peacock shows of his feathers, no two houses are the same, it's such a beautiful and idyllic place. Flowers are hung in rectangular tubs over railings and tourists take pictures of each other with the beautiful picturesque buildings in the background; I take out my camera to do the same, snapping pictures of Odette as she leans on the side of the bridge encapsulated by the gently flowing water beneath our feet.
The flash of the camera lets me down and she turns skeptically to locate the familiar light. She smiles, 'no pictures of me.'
'Why?'
I whine as she takes my camera, 'it's your holiday.'
'Actually, it's our holiday. And pictures of you are so beautiful, I can't resist.' She blushes and I steal a kiss, her once lightly tinted pink face turning to a bright red. I've really done it this time.
'I used to come here all the time when I was younger.' She starts to open up to me and I'm all ears, watching her hands intently for any sliver of information I can get of her past. 'It's so beautiful,' she turns to me admirably, 'like you.'
"You think I'm beautiful?" My question is serious, not mocking, and she doesn't blush either. I receive a nod, my heart warming at the thought, her mind is so tender and pure - so perfectly innocent yet tragically broken. I'm not the beautiful one here Odette, you are.
'I have so many places to show you Harry, so much for you to see, so much for you to know.'
"You know you can tell me anything baby, I won't judge you. You know that, right?" Her eyes are pleading for a moment and my heart sinks to my stomach, does she know that I'm here to protect her, that I will devote my life to her completely.
'I know Harry,' she begins.
"ODETTE! ODETTE!" I turn to face the voice and recognise the same man from yesterday, what does he want with her?
Odette grips me tightly in panic and her emotions seems to flood me, she's scared, she doesn't want to be near this man; this man is friends with her father, and whether I know anything or not, I'm here to protect her and that's what I'm going to do. "Come on, let's go." My chest rumbles for only her to acknowledge, thankfully she understands immediately and we turn in the opposite direction to leave.
"Odette, wait!" Phillip grabs Odette's forearm and she cowers. My vision see's nothing but red.
"Don't touch her. She doesn't want to see you, leave her alone." My voice burns into him and his eyes turn from scattered to pleading.
"Her father wants to see her."
"Well tough shit because he isn't going to. Now please excuse us." I walk in the direction of our bikes and we exit quickly not giving Phillip the time to catch up; it's a good thing that we're on separate bikes because I take the opportunity to calm myself and the frantic adrenaline that is pounding through my veins. Can't that man take a fucking hint?
After a good twenty minutes of riding into what looks like the middle of nowhere, we put down our bikes and sit on the grass in silence - my blood still boiling from the earlier encounter and my back tingling with anger and frustration. I keep replying that look in Odette's eyes, the tension that radiated off of her, what has her father done except abandon them? Why does she despise him so much?
My mind reels. Question after question sprinting through my it, trying to figure out what the hell is going on here; it's only after a few minutes that I realise Odette's proximity. Her head lying gently on my shoulder and her hands softly linked around my arm, her peace calms me down. 'Thank you.' She signs.
'You know I'd do anything for you.'
We stare out at the landscape, nothing but greenery and bursts of colours from the wild flowers that grow untamed in the lush fields. Somehow it all seems so peaceful up here - as if we have no problems in the world and it's just us. This is probably my favourite place in France.
I glance over to Odette and find her in deep contemplation, memories winding through her head as she relives her life here - as she relives the reason she left. How I wish I knew, I want to help you baby girl, I want to help. Almost as if she hears me, bright baby blue eyes meet mine and take my breath away - she's caught me staring but neither of us seem to mind at all. 'Tell me about your hometown.'
"Holmes Chapel?" She nods. I think over her offer and remember the similar fields and quaint villages just like in Odette's hometown. "It's a lot like here, we live in a bungalow away from the main road. It's right near a field, my mum and stepdad live there alone, Gemma moved to London and I moved to Devon." I feel sorry for my mum sometimes, to think that her only children are four or five hours away must be upsetting - I make the note to visit her more, maybe I'll take Odette with me too.
'Sounds lovely.'
'It is.'
'Do you miss it?'
'Everyday. But I don't regret moving away, I've accomplished so much by moving. A lot like you have.' She nods and looks back at the view. I decide that now would be a good time to ask about her, she seems calm and relaxed again so hopefully she'll be willing. 'Tell me about you, about your life.'
Instantly I regret asking.
Her head bows after watching my hands sign the dreaded words. I've asked her to open up and that's not something she's very good at, it's not something she knows at all - I feel bad for prying and forcing myself onto her life, is this what I've been like from the beginning? How does she not hate me by now? 'I don't want to talk about my life Harry.'
"Why?" She signs nothing. I chuckle jokingly, "you don't seem to like telling people about yourself, do you?"
'I don't want the world to know about me.'
I face her completely and take her hands as a sign of comfort, "I'm not the world, baby."
A soft smile embraces her lips, 'you're my world Harry.'
•••
We take a ride out to Odette's house to visit Evelyn and Julia again; apparently Julia found an old cooking book in one of her dusty bookshelves and is eager to try out her recipes on us, we happily agreed considering the struggle we had deciding where to have dinner, so we made our way straight over.
As Odette and I walk in the dining table is set beautifully, not that I'd expect anything less from Julia; in the short time I've known her she appears to be a perfectionist - always trying to make everything exceptional for her family or any guests she provides for, I imagine that's why she's so successful in her career. The house is just as neat and tidy as always, 'mama is there anything I can do to help?' Odette asks her mother kindly, beautiful eyes searching around the room to try and find something slightly out of place that she could fix.
The door bell sounds the moment Odette and I are seated at the table, Evelyn already in her place as Julia looks torn between the kitchen and the front door not knowing which to deal with first. "I'll get it Julia, you've done enough already it's the least I could do." My legs push against the wooden floor and I stand; Odette eyes me speculatively not sure why I'm standing up. "Doorbell," I mouth.
'I'll get it, I want to help.' Her tiny frame stands abruptly and pushes me down, the feeling of her hands on my shoulders consumes me completely and I do as she asks without question. Odette leaves as Julia situates our plates in place, the dish in front of me bursting with bold colours like yellows and reds - my green eyes widen in hunger and my stomach begins to yearn; I'm so hungry, I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks, but I suppose that's what happens when you see well-made food. Since living on my own, I've been used to eating takeout and microwave meals, so a homemade meal is a wonderful welcome for me.
Julia sets herself down and my spine automatically begins to shiver. Where is Odette? Probably still at the front door, my mind calms, "Julia this looks amazing, you've really outdone yourself."
"Thank you Harry. I love cooking, it's one of my many passions, Odette and I used to always experiment with different flavours."
Julia's slivers of information about Odette's past I am undeniably grateful for, it's her way of entrusting me with small aspects of Odette's life - she's letting me in. Of course, Julia understands her daughter more than anyone, she must think that I'm a good influence if she's risking her relationship with her daughter - I mean, I have no idea how Odette would react if she knew that her mother and sometimes sister are telling me the pieces of her life that she won't tell me herself.
The thought of her being away from my side worries me and I excuse myself to go and see what is keeping Odette, Julia follows shortly behind me - her curiosity getting the better of her also. "Listen to me Odette," I hear a low voice, a males voice, speak. "I want to make this right," who is this? It better not be that Phillip guy again or he'll be in some deep shit.
As I turn the corner the temperature drops. Julia and I both feel it. It doesn't take me a second to realise who this man is, the man I dreamt about not too long ago; a man around average height, in his late forties or early fifties, his head covered with a fair amount of hair and silver streaks working their way horizontally down each side. It's Peter. It's her father, except he looks a lot more gaunt than I expected.
The expression on Odette's face is terrifying, her horror is palpable, she looks so vulnerable - and to think she's been left alone with this man, a man she absolutely despises. My poor baby has been on her own with this spineless creature, no one to help her or save her, my blood boils at the sight of him and my frown burrows, a small gasp bursting from Julia behind me.
"Leave." My tone is threatening and malicious. How dare this man turn up here, I hate him, I fucking hate him; I don't care if Odette hasn't told me what he's done. She's hurt, and I can't bear the thought of anyone putting her through such pain.
"No, you don't understand," the man coughs, his words splutter in the air. "I need to talk with her, she needs to hear what I have to say."
I compose myself to the best of my ability, "She can't hear what you have to say. She's deaf, what do you expect? She doesn't want you here, so I'd advise you to leave." I spit angrily, my mothers manners overriding my internal fury and I conceal every swear word that comes to mind. I'm now stood defensively in front of Odette as Julia tries to comfort her static daughter.
"Peter leave, please." Julia cries.
"No, you know why I'm here. I need to speak with her."
"You had ten years to speak with her, that chance has long gone. Please leave." The expression on his face remains pleading but my cold heart doesn't shatter - I'm ashamed of his behaviour, and after all this time he has the audacity to demand her attention, why on earth does he think that I'll let him near her?
"You don't understand..."
"No, I understand perfectly. It's you that doesn't understand, now please leave." Odette remains statue in her place, completely unmoving and overcome with unbearable shock - my beautiful girl so scared and pained, I don't know how he can live with himself knowing the pain he's caused her. Finally listening to my request, he turns and leaves but not after reaching out for Odette who refuses to acknowledge his aching gesture.
Once the front door shuts and I know Odette is safely with her mother, I storm my way through the house and enter the first room I find. My blood is boiling and I need to take a minute to calm myself - his face, those pleading eyes, his desperate touch, it's all lies. I don't know how he could show up here, why would he? He left. He left her and Julia alone with no one and nothing. He just disappeared. How could someone do that?
I pace back and forth in an attempt to exude any anger that surfaces, my fists balled at the side of my body and my breath heaving in desperation, I can't believe he just turned up here. My eyes swivel and examine the room - it's a bedroom painted a cream colour with a beautiful double bed as the main feature of the room, wooden beams hold up the vast ceiling and Victorian style pictures line the walls, the chest of drawers filled with personal pictures; and a small fireplace on the far wall stacked so neatly and perfectly with logs of wood. If I were to guess, I'd think it were Julia's room; I suddenly feel really disrespectful that I've run off on the three girls. I probably look like an uncontrollable madman now.
A noticeable squeak sounds from the corner and I turn to see what it is, Odette walks sheepishly into the room closing the bedroom door, her eyes trained on the floor and cheeks red from raw tears - she's been crying. My anger rises yet again.
Odette doesn't say a thing. Her hands don't sign as she stares at the floor, shuffling closer to me by the second. I've never seen her like this, I've never seen her so hurt and broken - her tears begin to fall and my heart aches at the sight. What can I do to stop it?
I do the only thing I can and embrace her. My grasp strong in an effort to squeeze away all the pain that she's encountered in her life - for a moment it seems to work, and then her small sobs return. "Why would he do this to you? Why would anyone do this to you?"
No answer. "Do you want to forget about it?" She nods, "do you want to stay here with me?" Another nod, her arms grasping tightly around my waist and her smooth skin skimming the bottom of my back - I find comfort in her warm embrace. I press my lips to her temple and speak one last time, "you're going to have to tell me sooner or later, you know that right?" Yes again. Finally, some confirmation, I can live with that, at least I know that she'll tell me eventually.
Odette knows I'll wait for her, she's worth every second, but she also knows that the truth is inevitable, and she can't run away from it forever. We move over to the bed and lie facing each other, her body enclosed by mine as we both attempt to forget the last hour of our evening; let's hope tomorrow is a better day.
______________________
What do you think of Odette's father, Peter. Why did he want to speak to her?
Comment and vote! Thank you so much :)
- Pianogirl56
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