QUESTION:

When was the last time you got to tell someone "I told you so"?

Parent fodder this statement- though it can easily accommodate all sorts of relationships. Within it lie many years of "Listen to me" and "Don't do that/go there/be with that person" and "If you don't do as you're told..."

I bite my tongue so much these days it is forming scars.

Yep.

I have also become quite adept at hiding the above statement in plain sight.

Comes a time when you get a series of ha! moments. When your child, in this instance, says something like "Oh, I eat vegetables now." ("One day, you will meet a girl and you will go to her house for dinner and you will eat whatever is put in front of you. Remember these words.) Or "I know mum, it's sad. He just found out he has diabetes." (If you continue to drink fizzy drinks, your health will suffer, not when you're old, but now. Soon.One day you'll understand.") These are forward moments from a time way back... when I'd said: "Someday, you'll have reason to remember this (or that) statement."

Dylan likes milk. Not plain milk- I mean in coffees and thick shakes and other iced milky concoctions. But he has a problem: Milk gives him pimples. There was one right at the tip of his nose that hung around for months. I called it the "you don't listen to your mother pimple". If he stayed away from dairy for a few days, it would subside and there'd just be a feint red spot. Milk... and there it would blossom again.

"I see mother pimple is back? Stay off milk!"

"You're just saying that. Show me proof."

"Look in the mirror."

So he ... shut up. He bought some cleansing wipes. He stopped milk altogether even in his coffee. Every night he cleaned his face and slathered it with coconut oil. Every morning he cleansed again and went easy on the coconut. After a few weeks of this, he came into my room the other day.

"Feel."

I ran a hand across his forehead. Gone all the tiny bumpy bits; his skin was soft, smooth. Same with his chin and sides of his face.

"Hey, your blackheads are gone too!"

"I watched some Youtube vids. Squeezed the crap out of them. Ha ha."

"And where's mother pimple?"

"Busted. For good."

"Do I get to say it now?"

"No!"

"But I am thinking it! And I really, really wanna say it."

"Shut up!"

"I to-"

That's as far as I got. He picked up a particular plush toy that sits atop my monitor alongside a toy car and a couple of Lego figures. "Giving this to the dog."

"Alright, alright!"

(Vindication is sweeeeeet!)

When was your last "I told you so" moment and who was your recipient?