Title: Cinco Personas

Author: TheWriter04

Cover

Currently as it is, it's not an attractive cover. The story however to the contrary kept my attention. so I will suggest to check out some cover shops in Wattpad. 

Grammar

I spotted a few typos and small grammatical errors like the placement of commas in some places tense errors. Also, you don't have to give a space after the double quotes and there shouldn't be a space before a comma or a full stop.

Though it's normal for a real books how you have not left a line between paragraphs, Wattpad doesn't consider then separate paragraphs if you set it up like this. So it would be better if you separated each paragraph by a line. Also, italicising the thoughts separates them out more and helps the reader to understand more lucidly and visually that it's a thought and a separate entity to the prose.

Also, giving multiple exclamations is considered informal and try not to use them while writing a book, as it makes it look less professional.

And change the character introductory descriptions to past tense as well as it's a story we are being told, so everything must be in past tense when being narrated about.

I'd suggest you try and visit some edit shops in Wattpad and hire an editor.

Descriptions

Adequate and to-the-point descriptions which read beautifully and fit the needs of the story. I was impressed by your descriptions to say the least. They are a strong characteristic of the book that I'm sure people would like subconsciously, if not consciously as they are not overly decorated by ornamental words but are realistic and detailed, painting a nice picture in the mind which should be the goal of every author and you did that perfectly.

I really loved when you described about the different body languages the characters showed at different times. That was definitely one of the points that stuck with me.

Characterisation

Another part of the book that's been done really nicely. It comes off naturally and the characters feel genuine with equally fitting dialogues to suit  them. Little work is needed when it comes to the dialogues, if at all.

Plot

You have beautifully began the story with everyday life happening as it is and one of the characters missing the interview but added that twist with the murder of the woman at the last. I liked how she had passion for the work and had no official papers, that really appealed to me. The news about the murder at the end of the first chapter really set the plot right and beckons the reader to read on. I loved that she worked for a gaming company. It made the story so much more interesting just by the sound of it. And the Cinco Personas definitely have a dark suspense shrouding them which is very nicely done. All in all, the plot is made in such a way that it keeps the interest in the book. Also, there are hints placed everywhere and some confusion surrounding a few events which are nicely introduced to keep the reader guessing, another thing I like about this book.

Writing Style

A very attractive writing style with a subtle characterisation of the narrator and places where he speaks on the story. I really liked when the narrator did that and there is a very good flow to the writing and it's doesn't feel long or overly extended in any way. 

Just the end of some chapters is a bit abrupt, other than that the chapters are really nicely framed.