Title: Ivy

Author:  ChiddyE01

Status: Ongoing.

Focus: Plot, characterisation, relationships.

Title and Cover (4/5)

I love a simple title. No need to complicate things. Ivy is the name of the main character; a beautiful name that in itself encourages intrigue within a reader. A great choice!

I love the use of greens in your cover! They reflect the ideas that the name “Ivy" inflict in the mind – green Ivy leaves. The picture of the high-heels and stocking covered legs, with the gun hanging limply beside them is a fabulous choice. I also like the font used for the title. However, the placement of the title doesn't sit right with me, at first glance I didn't even see it there. I thought at first the cover was missing the title all together. I think if you want to keep the title going up the side like that it needs to be brighter so that it stands out or you could place it along the bottom, where the background is at its darkest. As this is the place the eye falls natural on a book cover to read the title.

Description (5/5)

What an intriguing description! The more I read it the more I wanted to read your story! It is executed wonderfully giving glimpses into many different windows in your story and altogether sells your story well! It is also structured beautiful and is pleasing to the eye. Great job!

Writing Style (5/5)

You have a unique writing style. The way you described the streets of New York and Hal's Joint reminded me of classical writing similar to mysteries set in the 1920s. I found this an interesting choice that works wonderfully for this story. It shows quite plainly how human nature doesn't easily change no matter how many years pass us by. 

Your descriptions of places and people are vivid, I could clearly picture them in my mind. You kept a consistent mood throughout the book of murky depravity and small rays of light that bring pieces of hope within such a bleak tale. The way you described the colours in the sky and the grey city buildings surrounding her reflected this. She lived amongst darkness and abuse within her work but went home to brightness and love when she saw Emily.

The ways you described people Ivy encountered were very well handled, you didn’t forget any aspect within their appearances. You even included fashion tastes and habits – for example, Hal's flamboyant attire and his cigars, which help him express his inner thoughts. I liked how you changed your writing style to show how him and other men talk, clearly showing their unique accents.

I liked that Ivy was called “Poison Ivy” in both the orphanage and Hal's joint – the comparison of her feelings towards her name in both of these places were very well expressed. Making me feel even more sorry for the poor soul. The name being inflicted on her by an abusive guardian and her using it herself within her work in the club, showing her acceptance of the title through learned self-hate.

Having Ivy repeat things that the Mother Superior said to her as a child to her own child was a clever choice and an effective way to bring out more of Ivy’s backstory.

The imagery used to describe Ivy's anger issues as an adolescent was really inspired. Calling her a puppet on a string, controlled by ferocious beasts representing violence and hatred. The parallels of this imagery to the tragedy/crime that happens in the next chapter was also incredibly clever!

Characterisation (4/5)

I was so impressed by your characterisation. Especially the work you put into Ivy. A lonely soul, brought up to hate herself as well as others around her. Her back story and personality are incredibly well thought out and written so vividly. I liked how you explored how Ivy's mind copes with the terrible things that she does, as if she's walking in a dreamlike state which is out of her control – a very clever idea that really shows how her traumatic past affected her mind. I also like that Ivy is a fighter and not a quivering wreck. An individual who had gone through what she has can become either of these things. You made the better choice for this story.

You didn't forget to work hard in bringing the other characters off the page.

Hal is set apart. His bright purple attire helping people to easily pick him out of a crowd. He is an untrustworthy, sleazy, chauvinistic individual. The way he treats Ivy and his other employees is utterly sickening and his clientele seem to follow his influence. The utter disregard to the women's dignity and rights were shocking to read. Ivy's relationship with him was incredibly written. It is not straightforward at all, for such an attachment wouldn't be with an individual like Ivy. Her thoughts about him swing like a pendulum from utter hatred to the highest respect- even going as far as seeing him as close family.

Mother Cathy was a terrible person. Her antics and the way her twisted, corrupted brain worked made me wild! What an evil beast of a woman! How she treated Ivy as a child was abhorrent and I want nothing more than to see her get a serious wake up call! 

When Hannah was first introduced, her physical traits were well described, however I failed to connect to her as a reader. We went from Ivy standing on her doorstep to quite a high fuelled argument. I understood why Ivy was so high-strung but Hannah seemed to match Ivy's level of anger with little explanation. Making this encounter a more gradual climb towards a disagreement would benefit this section. If you move too quickly you can accidentally leave your reader behind.

Meeting Emily was a surprise. What a beautiful light within such a murky story. The love Ivy felt towards the child was truly heart warming and it brought out a whole new side to your main character. A courageous and kind loving side. I love how you brought similarities between young Ivy and Emily – both nail biters, both not afraid to answer back.

Ivy's relationship with her therapist is really interesting. I love that Jane's feelings towards her patient are genuine not just a professional tool. If anything she seems to be throwing the rule book out in order to give Ivy the help she really needs. Ivy needs a mother figure not just a doctor. Gorgeous!

When you introduced Tommy, you brought out another side to the many sides of Ivy's complex character. Her feeling the need to hide the truth from him was a telling concept to how she views herself. For she is terrified of losing his favour, this is a great contrast to her feelings towards other men she encounters, who she does not respect at all, and nor should she!

Plot (5/5)

This is a plot that gets better and better the more you read. It is full of well fleshed out subplots that knit together perfectly! You set up a murky scene describing Hal's joint where women are scene as nothing but meat for men to drool over. Ivy faces such darkness in her life, which is nothing compared to her hellish past!

You start you story off really well, setting the scene and mood. I liked that before you introduced your reader to Ivy you showed us a snippet of the customers speaking to each other in the club. Their conversations full of sleaze! The way you set up this first chapter played out like an opening scene to an period mystery movie – it made me think of Chicago (without the musical number of course).

When the focus pans over to Ivy and her thoughts as a club dancer, her hatred towards everyone around her is established in a very believable and certainly understandable way.

This story continues showing how utterly trapped Ivy is. She goes from one prison to another, from her childhood at the orphanage to her present life working in the club. As we explore more into what makes Ivy the way she is, you successfully communicate a fascinating dark world.

The small glimpse of happiness that you brought to the story – scenes including little Emily are a much needed rest from the intense abuse surrounding Ivy. It was a clever idea to use these scenes to bring out Ivy's softer side, making it clear that she is not completely lost. Ivy's conflict with her beliefs in God was very well handled and a really interesting area in her story to explore. Chapter six was a beautifully written chapter, which communicated very well the complexities of Ivy's personality and inner struggles of her past and her present life. The drive for her to believe in God for the sake of Emily was a lovely idea.

Ivy's childhood – living through the unspeakable cruelty afflicted on her by the awful nun Mother Cathy, were by far my favourite parts. These dark scenes were well written and were exciting to read (bringing out morbid fascination in me). These scenes brought out of me a deep sense of injustice and anger towards that horrible nun! My heart went out to poor Ivy and these scenes truly explain the way Ivy is as an adult - always feeling guilty, not good enough and not worthy of love. It is so sad, yet so cleverly expressed. Mother Cathy's story and how it affected Ivy in its various ways is incredible! You paced this part of the story perfectly! Showing how Ivy was treated and how she couldn't understand why she deserved such treatment, rather than coming to an understanding when young she instead learns to hate herself. When revelation hits her in therapy my heart soared for her!

Overall (23/25)

What a super dark and exciting story! It is full of fascinating characters who you need to know more about when introduced. This book really has great potential, I can see it go far. It only needs a polishing up here and there. Your story deserves so many more reads and I would more than happily recommend it to anyone who loves dark mysteries! 

Thank you so much for asking me to review this dark, amazing journey! I hope you found my feedback helpful.