[29.1] Chasing the Moon
The World Below bore a startling resemblance to a towered fortress. Nine Kingdoms governed lands that spiraled ever downward, with each kingdom serving as a gate to the next. The further down one went, the more unstable the environment and unrestrained its inhabitants. Few ever ventured as far as the Ninth Kingdom. Of those who did, none returned whole and sane.
The two white serpents that had caused so much chaos in Samodevia hailed from the Seventh Kingdom. They were monsters in the World Above but to their own kind, the siblings were but behaving in a manner expected of their nature. The Seventh Kingdom was also known as the Beast Kingdom. Its subjects lived freely, governed only by their instincts and an inherent desire for power. The pursuit of strength through strife made politics in the Kingdom particularly bloody.
The death of the serpent siblings would not cause grievance, had it occurred within the Seventh Kingdom. However, they had fallen in a land far from home, on a journey incited by malicious forces with unknown motives. This was an insult enough, but the serpents were also members of the current ruling clan. Their inglorious end could not be ignored.
Hel was doubly implicated. First, in its failure to guard the passage between the World Below and Samodevia. Second, in that its own residents were among the parties responsible for the conspiracy. The Beast Kingdom naturally used the situation to their utmost advantage. Lady Bai Suzhen, the Seventh Kingdom's envoy, was as shrewd as she was ruthless. Had Rae not been an old hand at wrangling the greedy nobility in her own court, Hel would have lost more than a pound of flesh to Lady Bai's aggressive negotiation.
Really, who needed enemies, with subjects as fine as Hel's demons?
A shadow fell over Rae, breaking her thoughts.
The Queen of Hel had arrived in the Desolate Lands alone. She was yet to encounter a living soul. Barren land stretched as far as the eye could see, the fine sand so pale with heat that earth and sky blurred into one where they met. Rae knew well that she was not truly without company. Monstrous beasts lurked beneath the sand, ready to swallow an unfortunate wanderer whole. However, they would not engage a demon of Rae's caliber. Anyone approaching aboveground could not escape the queen's eyes.
The sole exception to this natural fact was not a creature Rae wished to offend.
These considerations passed through Rae's mind in a flash. When she turned to face the dark beast that towered above her, the Queen of Hel was composed enough to offer a polite greeting.
The dark beast snorted. The branching antlers crowning its head shortened and wrapped inward as the beast's immense body shrank in size. Powerful hooves stomped at the ground once, then twice when Rae did not react, the queen's startled face dyed red in the creature's large, unblinking eyes.
Rae approached hesitantly. When the beast only eyed her with scorn, she took initiative to mount properly.
"I am not done with my rounds," she said.
The dark beast resolutely turned its back to the desert plains. Rae gave up on complaining and concentrated on maintaining her balance instead. The pace was punishing from the onset. Their surroundings smudged, the earth shaking under the beast's powerful hoofs.
Rae's visit to the Desolate Lands was not planned. Her journey had begun as but a stroll through Hel's gardens, but a restlessness in her heart drove her ever forward. She had not ventured too far, as she had travelled on foot. They soon came upon the mouth of a great cliff, Hel's gate rising like a beacon on the other side.
The crystal bridge glinted in the gloom. Upon it walked a man both familiar and not.
Rae's breath stuttered in her chest. The dark beast paused its mad run without her prompting, unusually accommodating. Rae dismounted woodenly. She was in no mind to wonder about the creature's purpose. Her entire being was focused on the man on the bridge.
Carmen approached steadily. His eyes met Rae's, bright and piercing.
This was not her husband, Rae realized.
This was a man she had met on a battlefield many, many years ago.
Rae watched Carmen advance with a numb heart. She thought about rushing forward and blocking the man's way. The bridge was exceedingly narrow – if they were to meet upon it, either Rae or Carmen would have to retreat, otherwise neither would be able to pass.
Carmen would not retreat. Rae knew this in her bones, and so she stood where she was, waiting for the blade to fall.
The distance Carmen had to cross was not small. Rae felt the passage of time keenly, every step forward a dagger in her chest. It took her a moment to waken from her daze once the man stood before her at last, still and silent and farther away than he had ever been before.
"You remember," Rae said.
"Yes," Carmen said.
Rae could not hold his eyes, but she could not bear to look away either. Her vision swam. "I am sorry," she said.
Carmen's expression did not shift. There was pain in his eyes. "I know," he said simply.
Rae nodded. She took a breath, then straightened her back and gathered herself, forcing out what she had to say despite the telling tremble in her voice.
"You are not bound to the World Below. There is no danger in crossing through, and no price to pay for the passage."
A hint of surprise flashed over Carmen's face, softening the severe cast of his features. Rae smiled ruefully.
"Did you think I would chain you to my side?" she asked.
"It would not be an unreasonable thought," Carmen said.
"I am not that person," Rae said, hurt and angry, mostly at herself. "I can never be that person. Never again."
"But you were, once," Carmen reminded her softly. "Why, Rae? Why did you make me forget?"
Rae tried to word her answer carefully, painfully aware of its weight. Her thoughts were too disorganized, however, and her speech could only be sincere without any added elegance.
"The past hurt you too much. I could not change what has passed, but I could – I could make it disappear," she said.
"So it was all for my own good, is that it?" Carmen snapped.
"Carmen," Rae pleaded.
"Did you mean to keep it hidden from me as long as we lived?" Carmen asked. His tone was cold, but his voice trembled. "You could not possibly have been that foolish, to believe such a thing possible!"
"Would you have allowed yourself to love me, had I not done what I did?" Rae asked.
Carmen did not speak. He shook his head after a long moment, and admitted a heartbreaking, "I do not know."
The dark beast shifted in the silence. It shook its mane, its antlers rattling like bones, then approached Carmen and promptly knelt, the meaning clear.
Carmen approached the beast warily. His eyes darted to Rae, but he still said nothing. Perhaps there was nothing left to say.
A sense of crisis ate at Rae's reason. Her hands shook, fear turning to violence and the desire to destroy. If she could not keep this man, her mind whispered, why allow him to live at all? His soul was shared between them. If she tore it out of his body and swallowed it for her own, would he not be with her always?
Rae's palms bled, gouged to bone. She managed to lift her head and look at Carmen again. The sight of that beloved face calmed her blood and drained the last of her resolve.
Carmen watched her, as well. He had not taken his eyes from Rae from the moment he had caught sight of her on the bridge. "If I wish to return," he said, leaving the thought unfinished.
Rae swallowed a relieved sob. "You only need to call for me," she said, voice rough.
The dark beast rose to its feet. Rae took a step back, lest she reached out to stop them.
Neither bid the other goodbye.
Rae watched the dark beast disappear the way she had come. She forced herself to turn away, to take the first step onto the crystal bridge, the second. The calamity she had feared for decades came and went too quickly. She could not quite believe any of it was real.
The bridge stretched before her, thin and brittle. Rae paused often. She could not quite remember where she was going. What purpose remained to her at all?
Halfway through, she stopped and looked down. Unending darkness roiled under her feet, like a turbulent ocean, the maw of some living thing. Rae stared into its depths. In her mind's eye, she saw her father walk over the edge of the cliff, never to return.
"YOUR HIGHNESS!"
Rae raised her head. Skal's anxious face peeked over Hel's gate in the distance, the giant's cheeks wet with tears.
The gate was open, Rae realized. Xiang Yi stood at the mouth of the bridge, arms crossed. His ever-present scowl was somewhat softened by the obvious worry in his eyes. Crow and Mari flanked his sides. They, too, watched Rae closely. Crow's wings fluttered every now and then, as if unable to keep still.
Rae's lips trembled. She took a breath, then another. Her heart hurt still but the world no longer pressed on her shoulders. She resumed her steps and did not stop until she was on solid ground.
Xiang Yi hurried to greet her. He was armed with tea, Rae realized, the steaming cup appearing out of thin air and then somehow transferring into her hands.
"Thank you," Rae said.
Xiang Yi only shook his head and helped her inside. Mari and Crow fell in behind them, not allowing Rae to falter or think about turning back.
Rae looked over her shoulder just once, as she was about to cross through Hel's gate. Her eyes caught Carmen's and held for a brief, electric moment.
The dark beast and its rider disappeared.
Rae turned her eyes back to her path, hurting yet somewhat at peace in the knowledge that her love was, at last, walking his own.
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