"All I have to do is surrender. All I have to do is trust, and I will endure."

10.

"Hey T, we heard what happened, are you okay?" Monty and Jasper question me as I eat my nuts and berries. Last night was a whirlwind and I was trying to forget about it but my chest throbbed constantly, reminding me of the events of last night.

"I've been better." I shrug.

"Well, I made you something." Jasper says handing me a cup filled with blackish brownish liquid.

"What is it?" I ask him taking a whiff of it. It smells of vanilla and coffee bean, I eye Jasper curiously wondering if it could actually be coffee. He then confirms my suspicion.

"It's coffee." He smiles and my eyes go wide.

"Seriously?" I take a sip of it right away and the liquid is actually warm and it almost tastes exactly like the coffee on the ark. But better. The bitter but rich flavor relaxed me and instantly put me into a better mood.

"Thank you so much!" I pull Jasper and Monty into a hug. They always know how to cheer me up without actually having to say anything.

"Oh and Miller told me to tell you that everyone is talking to their families on the computer system we set up last night. He said if you wanted to talk to your dad you can." Monty explains to me. For a second I'm happy that finally I can talk to my dad but I realized that I haven't even talked to him in 3 years. He never once visited me in the skybox, I knew he always had access because he had visited sick prisoners before. But he never once came to see me, I don't know why. I never knew why. Maybe I can get some answers.

"Thanks, I'll go do that right now." I tell them as I walk over to the dropship while still taking sips of my coffee.

"Hey, Connor is just about to say goodbye to his parents then you can get on." Miller tells me, there's a parachute blocking us from the computer so everyone can get privacy with their families. Connor pops out and nods to Miller.

"You're up, just tell whoever is on the screen who you want to talk to." Miller tells me and I nod and go in. A lady with black hair and faint grey hairs is sitting on the other end, must be Connor's mom. I smile as I sit down.

"Can you get me Dr. Queen." I tell her. She smiles and gets up. As I'm waiting I notice someone come into view and sit down. The guy has a guards uniform on and when the camera shows his face my eyes widen. It's Jack. I thought after Monty and Jasper gave me coffee that my day would be going better. Obviously not.

"Hey, babe." He smirks.

"Don't call me that, what do you want? Where's my dad?" I ask. I would've gotten up and left but I wanted to talk to my dad.

"What? You don't miss me?"

"Not one bit."

"Look, we'll be coming down there soon enough. And you won't be locked up anymore and maybe..." He smiled but it lacked confidence. He always had a nice smile, the kind that a girl can just swoon over, it's what pulled me in. Yes, Jack was very attractive. He had brown hair that he usually styled up, he has blue grey eyes, and his jaw line is very prominent. He was around Bellamy's height and had a decent build but I couldn't help but compare him to Bellamy. Bellamy was just better in all aspects. Even if he's a jackass at the moment. When I first met Jack I thought he was hot as hell but his personality makes him ugly and I can't stand the sight of him.

"You're insane if you think that's going to happen. We are never going to happen again. Now, let me talk to my dad." I explain hoping maybe it will get through to him. I can't believe he's talking about this right now. Hasn't he heard what's going on down here? There's no time for any of this drama.

"Just wanted to talk..." He says standing up and walking out the door. I ignore his comment and wait patiently for my dad to come in sight, a few minutes go by and I see the door open up on the camera and my dad walks in. He's wearing dark jeans and a black sweater along with some boots that he's had since before I got locked up. I stay quite until he gets in front of the camera and sits down. His face is almost like I remember it, but he has many more frown lines and bags hang heavy under his eyes. His once dark brown hair has gotten lighter and I can see grey hairs. I don't know what to say, I'm guessing he doesn't either because he stays quiet and just stares. I decided it would be best if I just say something to clear the air a bit.

"Hi, dad." The word dad sounds so foreign coming out of my mouth, I haven't said it in ages. He breaks out into a light smile and I can't help but smile back.

"Hi, my sweet girl." He says and my heart warms. I don't know what else to say but I didn't have to because he spoke.

"So I heard you've been saving lives and showing leadership. You're just like your mother." He laughs, and I didn't realize how much I missed it till now. A tear threatens to fall but I blink it away.

"I wouldn't say that but I'm helping out as much as I can." I shrug. I wouldn't say I'm a leader, that's more Bellamys thing. And I wouldn't say I've saved lives but I've helped Clarke with things.

"Nonsense, Jaha told me that Clarke spoke very highly of you to him and that you are helping save lives. I'm proud of you." Hearing him say he was proud of me reassured me that maybe everything will be fine, and that I'm doing good down here. I'm so glad we can talk before he comes down here.

"Thanks dad... I..uh..can I ask you something?" I start to get serious, if I don't get answers I'll be wondering for forever.

"Of course."

"Why didn't you ever come to visit me?" I wait for his response, he looks at me confused for a moment before answering.

"What do you mean? I thought you blamed me for getting you locked up, I thought you hated me." He says, now it's my turn to be confused.

"I never blamed you, ever. I love you. Why would you assume that?" I question. How could he assume something like that? I was the one who decided to steal to help.

"Because Jack told me..." He starts. I wanted to kill Jack. He's the very reason that me and my father lost connection for 3 years.

"Dad, no. Jack is a liar. Don't trust anything he says. Ever." I clarify with him.

"So none of it is true?" I mentally thank him for not asking any questions about Jack because I would have to explain everything and It's so not important right now.

"No, dad, of course not. I love you and I would never blame you for something I voluntarily did." I tell him.

"I love you too, sweetie. Keep saving lives down there and stay safe. I'll be on the first exodus ship down." My heart leaps at the fact that my dad will be here soon and I almost want to scream but I refrain from doing so and say goodbye to him. I walk out and Miller is standing there with a guy I haven't seen around, he walks in and takes my place though.

"Bellamy was just here looking for you, he told me to tell you when you were done to come find him." Miller smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Thanks." I walk out the dropship as he laughs. I look around for him but can't seem to find him until I spot him talking to Octavia by the food barrels. I walk over to them and Octavia smiles at me and says bye to Bellamy and leaves.

"You were looking for me?" I question with no emotion in my face. I'm still so upset from what he did last night and I know he knows.

"Uh yeah, There's a bomb shelter not too far from here and Clarke said we should go check it out." Bellamy says clearing his throat and stuffing rations of food into his backpack.

"Why can't she go?" I cross my arms, I really don't feel like being stuck with him for a field trip.

"Because someone has to watch camp." He now stands waiting for my reply.

"What about Finn? Or Miller? Or someone else who is not me?"

"Please come with me." He pleads and I know I shouldn't give in so easily. But I do.

"Fine. When do we leave?" I ask him crossing my arms. He looks shocked that I even agreed and then his expression goes back to normal.

"Whenever you finish packing, we're looking at a day trip." He explains to me and continues stuffing nuts and berries in his pack.

"If we're only going for a day, why are you packing for a whole month?" I exaggerate.

But in my defense he is packing more than enough food for only one day.

"You never know what can happen." He shrugs and zips up his pack. I eye him wearily and decide to ignore it and just get my stuff. I don't pack any food because Bellamy obviously has that covered but I take my knife cause that's all I need. And frankly, it's all I got. I walk in the dropship and Bellamy is talking to Octavia, probably about Lincoln, the grounder.

"Whatever twisted connection you think you have with that animal, forget it. You don't get to see him. End of conversation." He states firmly.

"Why do you even care if I ruined your life? You should want me to go up there. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll kill me, problem solved." Octavia shrugs crossing her arms.

"Octavia, you know I didn't mean that." Bellamy tilts his head. Something I noticed he does when he starts to get sentimental. He told her that she ruined his life? That's terrible and really low. I know I probably shouldn't be surprised because of things he has said in the past but honestly I am. His sister means everything to him and for him to say something like that to her. I really don't know Bellamy Blake at all. I decide to interrupt their arguing to save Octavia from Bellamy.

"Hey, I'm ready. Let's head out." I say walking up to him, he looks at me and nods and turns back and looks at Octavia.

"Miller, make sure no one gets in or out of the second floor." Bellamy calls to Miller hanging around in the dropship.

"Got it." Miller nods towards him and climbs up to the second floor.

"Bellamy." Clarke enters in the dropship.

"The answer is still no, I'm not talking to Jaha." Bellamy rolls his eyes.

"You're going to have to sooner or later." Clarke explains to him.

He disregards what she says, "Taylor and I are heading out to the depot. Hold the fort down while we're gone." Bellamy jokes and I almost see a smile from Clarke.

"Stay safe, guys." She nods to both of us and I nod back. Bellamy walks out but I stay in for a second and walk over to Clarke.

"Why won't Bellamy talk to Jaha?" I question her.

"He's afraid Jaha won't pardon him." She said. I can't blame Bellamy, he did shoot the guy and to think Jaha will pardon him is a bit of a stretch.

"Maybe you can talk some sense into him. You're good with him. He listens to you." She adds. Where does everyone get this idea from that Bellamy actually listens to me? He hardly does. I nod at her anyway and turn and walk out toward the entrance where Bellamy was standing.

"Ready?" He asked.

"No, but let's go." I walk past him.

Silence. That's all it's been for the past hour. The only sounds come from the birds whistling and the leaves on the trees rustling from the breeze that goes by. I was about to break the silence when my chest ached in pain. I left out a noise and stopped walking. Bellamy whipped his head around and took a step closer towards me.

"Does it still hurt?" He asks looking at the purple and black bruising that has formed along with the cut in the middle. I had a chance to take a real look at it this morning in my reflection in a barrel of water.

"Obviously you jackass." I roll my eyes at him. The pain passed after a few minutes and I went back to being okay other than it stinging every once in awhile but it's been doing that all night and morning.

"Sorry." He says and we continue walking. I roll my eyes at his lack of words. Sorry? Really? Where's his usual snarky comment? He's been acting a little strange today.

"So are you seriously not going to talk to Jaha?" As soon as the question leaves my mouth Bellamy groans.

"You and Clarke need to let it go. I don't want to talk to him. He's not going to pardon me. What's the point." He says as we step over a log in our path.

"You don't know that, Bellamy, it doesn't hurt to try." I explain to him. Although he is a jackass I still feel for the guy. Weird, I know. Actually it's not weird because I like him. Although, sometimes I wish I didn't.

"Can we talk about something else?"

I sigh.

"Sure. Like what?"

"Like Jack." He says.

My throat tightens and I hold my breath.

"What about Jack?" He's treading on dangerous waters here.

"What happened?"

I take a deep breath in and start, "It's complicated."

"What does that mean?" He asks.

"He was just a dick half the time and he was only using me for sex."

"He used you?" He's looking straight into my eyes and it makes me feel warm. His eyes are beautiful.

"Yeah. It's fine now. I'm fine now." I look down feeling vulnerable and a little embarrassed. Jack only wanted me physically.

"It's not fine. He deserves to be floated. Is he coming down here? I'll kill him." Bellamy rambles and runs his hands through his hair looking down. I laugh lightly. He does care.

"Bellamy, calm down. It's over now. He is coming down here. He told me when I talked to him this morning." His head snaps up at my words.

"You talked to him? Why?"

"I didn't have much of a choice. But it's fine, Bellamy. Look, let's keep walking. The more we keep stopping the longer the trip." I say and grab his arm and make him start walking.

"I'm still going to kill him when he gets down here."