When I came back home and fell into the numb silence... I understood it's suddenly just a big house full of black holes... some of them smaller, some so deep that they immediately brought me to my knees. Everywhere I looked, it sucked on my heart and pulled away my tears... ready to leave my chest completely empty and sore.

More than ever before... I felt and realized that without you there is nothing. Nothing is real... nothing can be real... and without your duet, even my grieving voice became just a blunt hoarseness lost in my stuck lifeline.

Those fingers never felt as heavy, as when I placed them shakily on the keys, hoping to find an echo of your voice...

... but the notes that came out sounded to me as if the piano was also drowned in that depth-

Throw it up, it might help...

The chaos played out under my forehead and the wailing breath between clenched teeth became the most honest and relieving composition.

Without you... everything was nothing.

...

I remembered that emptiness as if it was yesterday even a year after. The moments when the stars left my eyes and songs had never sounded so painful before. Until then it was like a hug from a best friend, but after you left forever, it became just a lonely shadow stabbing in my heart.

You were my music. Without you, it just wasn't the same. How could I enjoy it? How could I feel that joy and glee without you, mate?

It's hard to run away from the shadow... downright impossible unless you lock yourself in a room without light.

But it was probably your whisper or the surviving will to live that kept me from avoiding the sunlight.

It indeed must have been your voice that led me out into the streets on that one Sunday in April.

Even though the wind was cooling my cheeks, the Sun embraced my shoulder blades and a duet of acoustic and bass guitar tempted me to extend my journey to church.

It's been so long since I last enjoyed live music so much. My body trembled with excitement as I watched two musicians, about my age, vitally share their joy and passion with a small audience.

At first, it was a bit awkward, feeling nice, but then a sudden desire to sing with them filled my heart and I began to subtly tap my foot to the rhythm of the song, gently opening my lips to let out a couple of quiet notes.

For the first time in forever I enjoyed a song from start to finish and felt so alive.

The Sun began to pour golden rain on my face, spreading a wide relieved smile on my cheeks, as I clapped enthusiastically.

"For those who just stopped by - I'm Kim Yugyeom... accompanied by Kim Mingyu on bass guitar and you can also follow us on our instagram, so we can enjoy the music together next time..."

"Because music is always best when you have someone to enjoy it with," added the charismatic bassist, while pointing on the cardboard with their account name written on it.

I quickly wiped the rain drops on my face and pulled out my phone to look them up.

Just as I found it and pressed the follow button, the April rain suddenly gave way to the comforting caress of a drift of snowflakes. I have never loved snow as much as I have since that moment.

The church clock struck a quarter to eleven.

Chills run down my spine and I looked up to the crazy mix of soothing sunshine and blown clouds, while fixing my flying bangs. The wind stole my breath.

Are you saying I should move on?

I fleetly looked back to the two boys, preparing for another song... and really wanted to linger with them for a little bit longer.

However, something told me I should go, look for them later... and so I hesitantly stepped out and ran back the way I was originally headed.

The booming ringing of the bell accompanied me to the church, leaving me with a mysterious sense of intuitive anticipation.

My sparkling gaze wandered perhaps to every person sitting behind the pews in front of the altar, as I walked the aisle to actually find my seat... or the one I was looking for?

"Is this place free?" I finally asked the young man who was sitting alone.

"Ah... sure."

When my eyes unexpectedly met the eyes of my precious childhood friend whom I hadn't seen in years due to moving, tears of happiness and relief completely flooded my view. I understood...

"Jeon Jungkook...?"

"Lee Dongmin!"

... after a long mourning, you showed me that the time has come and it should finally be a Quarter to Junglee.

Thank you for leading me to my new brothers, mate... I will take care of them as best as I can.

- leader Cha Eunwoo

☾In memory of Moonbin☽

(This was supposed to be a comforting, maybe even funny, Christmas one shot/spinoff to my yoonkook story in Slovak language... about how the band members met... but I woke up about 4 hours ago and felt like writing it now this way, so... yes. If anyone has read this, I send you lots of love and a warm hug... I love you, sweethearts 💜)