a lovely moodboard made by varundhawans! thank you so much buddy 💞🌸

□

KABIR DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL SAHIBHA HIS ADDRESS, and from the way he soundly sleeps, he won't care where he sleeps. So, Sahibha had tugged him into her elevator and carried a staggering Kabir to her apartment. She gulps at the idea of Kabir seeing Abeer, who lives in a more expensive apartment complex close by -- or of Kabir finding out that the entire building he's moving in is owned by Abeer.

"Can we walk slower?" Kabir groggily says, an arm around Sahibha as she tries to support his heavier figure. While both of them are around the same height, Sahibha has never been to the gym or bothered to carry anything besides a cute bag. The idea of having a druken five inch ten male leaning on her slender shoulders was something she would've never fathomed. Well, until today.

With a sigh, Sahibha slows her pace down. Kabir's steps are mismatched and she's slightly worried that he'll fall flat on his face. Finally, they pause at a green apartment door that Sahibha brings out keys to open. Once the door opens, Kabir raises his eyebrow at a bare apartment.

There's nothing that fills the room besides a bland brown couch, a small table filled with flowers and a few photoframes on built-in bookshelves. It's as if she's just moved into this place last week with the amount of boxes and the few pink suitcases on the floor. The only thing that truly seems like Sahibha was the floral suitcases, flowers and the photoframes.

Kabir pushes Sahibha off. A certain photo framed in a golden photoframe catches his eyes and draws Kabir to walk closer. Upon coming closer, Kabir could make out a small kid that oddly resembled Abeer with his pitch black hair and sharp nose. He had striking blue eyes like Sahibha's and a soft brown glow. There was a large tooth gap in his teeth but he barely noticed it and smiled affectionately at the camera. Behind him, Sahibha grins and hugs him. There was a certain warm flow in the photo, something about it that felt like nothing besides pure happiness.

His mouth slightly gone dry at the resemblance between Abeer and this child. The main difference was the eyes, the skin tone that matches with Sahibha's more and the large smile upon his lips. All Kabir has seen upon Abeer's face was a slight smirk, the downwards eyebrow of his jealousy and his pressed lips in anger. Happiness is something Kabir can never imagine Abeer having.

Or a child, to be frank. Abeer as a soft father is a strange concept and he doubts it could happen. 

He brushes off his theory off -- convinced that there's no way Abeer could hide away a child -- and instead turns around to face Sahibha.  "You have a son?" Kabir quizzes, raising an eyebrow. She licks her lips, before nodding. It's not like Kabir would be able to remember this conversation tommorow. Sahibha drops her keys on the counter, a loud clang that startles him.

"I'm going to sleep. You can do whatever you want, but I personally think you should eat some crackers or something and sleep," Sahibha offers, waving her hand as she walks to a room. Kabir doesn't call her back. He places the photo face down on the bookshelf, walking outwards towards the terrace.

The entire city is completely dark on a Wednesday night. There's only some streetlights on, and the lights of a room in an apartment complex opposite of Sahibha's. It's one floor above Kabir, and the only one with thin curtains and lights on. A man's shadow furiously punches something. Kabir squints his eyes until he makes out a punching bag, and he winces at the way the man rapidly attacks it.

Kabir leans against the rails, bringing out a ciggerette and a lighter. The cold bites his knuckles, making it paler than usual as he lights up the burner. He doesn't bring it closer to the cig and instead he watches the flames lick the sky. Teasingly, he draws the cig closer until he hears footsteps coming his way. He takes a breath of the chilly air before he turns off the lighter.

"How are you even standing here? It's so cold," Sahibha comments, causing Kabir to turn around. He secretly drops the cigarette onto the floor and tucks his lighter in the backpockets of his jeans. All through doing this, he portrays a pale toothed smile at her to keep her attention off his hands.

"Determination," Kabir lies, "and a need for fresh air."

Sahibha raises an eyebrow, her eyes dropping to the ciggerette on the floor. "Tobacco doesn't count as fresh air. How did someone like you even get into something like these?"

Kabir doesn't feel like an alcoholic or a smoker. He's soft, polite and intelligent enough to avoid these sort of things. She walks closer to him, leaning besides him the railings. Her eyes trail to the man before looking at Kabir again. "I was in a terrible relationship and I needed an out. I choose these over alcohol and for a while, they helped my anxiety out."

"And drinking?"

"I've always drunken alcohol but in small amounts. My girlfriend was a huge drinker, and sometimes she would get me into drinking more and more. I swear I'm not a alcoholic though," Kabir explains, pinching the skin of his neck. Sahibha doesn't point out how nowadays he's commonly found with a breath of alcohol upon his lips. Perhaps, Kabir has an illusion that his drinking is under control. Saying anything while he's drunk won't impact him, so she stays quiet.

Kabir snaps Sahibha out of her thoughts when he starts to speak again. "Why are you out here, anyways? I thought you were going to sleep?"

"I'm out because I couldn't fall asleep. I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I solve the mystery of Bella," Sahibha lies. The entire truth isn't as little as that. Rather, Sahibha is concerned about Kabir and his self destructive behaviours. The worry will eat at her stomach until Kabir was soundly asleep again and unable to do something foolish like smoke his life away. "Was Bella that girlfriend?"

Kabir remains quiet, his eyes trailing back to the man to continuously fights a punching bag. He stops and walks out of the curtains' range. "He always does that," Sahibha comments, her eyes following Kabir's as she snaps him out of his trance.

"You know him?" Kabir questions, surpirse lacing his tone. His eyes flicker towards Sahibha, seemingly alert for someone who is drunk.

Sahibha nods, closing her eyes, lost within her thoughts. Then she shakes her head, strands of brown hair tumbling out of her plait and bouncing in the wind. "I thought I did. Nowdays, it feels like I'm talking to a stranger," she replies, her blue eyes watching the curtains. "I used to be so close to him . . . And it turns out I didn't even know him."

Kabir links the pieces together. "I didn't know Abeer was into boxing," he says, startling Sahibha. She watches him with a slightly agape mouth. "Or that he had a kid, until today."

Sahibha almost jumps in surprise; her arms flinging back to her body as she stares at Kabir with widen eyes and flustered cheeks. Either her skin is red because of the chilling air or because of her secrets being exposed. Kabir is betting on the latter.

"Veer is not Abeer's kid," Sahibha tries, her tone pleading and strict, "And that man isn't Abeer!"

As if Abeer heard, the man opens the curtains to reveal a familiar raven headed man. He's completely covered in sweat, with beads of water dropping on his naked chest. His expression is peaceful, with nothing but calmity covering it. Kabir feels like he's invading his privacy by watching him, but he can't help himself but to do it. How can someone be so peaceful after raging on a punching bag? It's as if he gets peace out of hurting others.

He opens the window, exhaling a long breath as the curtains flutter outside of the window. Kabir's eyes glance the blue fabric, and envy foams in his mouth at how expensive the cloth of the rich blue curtain is. Abeer owns silk curtains, made of the deepest blues and used to conceal beautiful condos. He's got it all; cash, Nazia and a steady life.

God. Only a few months ago it was the opposite. Kabir would've been laughing with Nazia, tucked within their bed or sitting besides each other as a movie plays. Now, he's watching Abeer with envy and resentment from a stranger's apartment.

A stranger who knows Abeer a bit too well, judging from her facials and the way she crosses and uncrosses her arms in panick.

"Lying is bad for health," Kabir states, watching Sahibha's horrified face with a small smile. "So, how long did he stay for you?"

A car zooms beneath them, and both of them glance toward it. Above, Abeer's eyes sneak a glance at Sahibha before shutting the window. His eyes are a sheer shade of black, revealing nothing behind them. What he felt for Sahibha and Kabir's odd relationship is a mystery that he refuses to answer. He yanks the curtain down, his heart pacing at how Kabir and Sahibha most likely saw him. They had a step ahead in his game, and he curses himself for peeking out.

Sahibha looks back up in time to see Abeer's silhouette. A lonely laugh escapes her pink lips, causing Kabir to glance over at her with concern. "A year," Sahibha bitterly laughs, tears forming within her eyes. "It took him one vague conversation and he left me. Just like that."

Her teeth pull at her lips. "When I met Abeer . . . He was with another woman. He never told me until three months later -- " her voice cracks, tears falling onto her rosy cheeks -- "I was so in love with him that I believed his lies when he told me that he'll leave her soon enough. He lied to me for three more months."

With his eyes worringly scanning Sahibha, Kabir takes a step forward to comfort her. However, Sahibha holds up a hand before he can touch her. "Sometime later, I found out I was pregnant and I panicked," she proceeds with her story. "I spent half a hour crying and I called Abeer. He didn't pick up so I sent one last text saying that if he ever wants to see me or my soon-to-be child, he needs to come to the airport."

Abeer turns off the lights after that, leaving Kabir without another sneak peek in his life. "He came. We both flew to France and I never thought of Nazia, the other woman ever again. I don't think Nazia knew who I was or why Abeer left her."

Kabir's eyes darken at the mention of Nazia and suddenly everything hits him in the head. Of how Nazia always told him about Abeer cheating on her and eventually leaving her for some unknown reason. For all these years, he had thought Abeer cheated on Nazia with dozens of mistresses instead of one.

"It's amusing that you and Nazia have the same taste in men. Both must end with a beeeeerrr." Kabir laughs loudly, his drunken state coming more into light with his horribly hollow laughs. His laughter melts and he raises his eyebrows. "How did you guys break up anyways? And what happened to your kid?"

Sahibha rolls her eyes at Kabir's poor joke. "We were fine at first but whenever Veer cried, Abeer would get awfully stressed and panicked. It was odd . . .," Sahibha trails off, her eyes falling back upon the lit apartment. There's that shadow again, that paces around the room with his hands keep going through his hair over and over.

Kabir doesn't notice how her eyes are back upon Abeer and instead gives a curious glance towards Sahibha. "Did he cheat on you, too?"

Instead of answering, her eyes watch him. "He does that when he's stressed," she mumbles softly, her eyes lingering. It reminded Kabir of a child deperate for a chocolate bar despite its sugary contents. The longing in her eyes, the care she had for a man who gave her nothing but despair and the way her eyes always somehow trail back to him makes Kabir's skin crawl. Why does Sahibha still harbor concern for this emotionless man?

"What happened between you guys?" Kabir asks once again, his tone sharp and snapping her out of her trance. With wide and alert eyes, her gaze falls upon Kabir once again. She leans against the railing, facing Kabir instead of Abeer's silhouette.

"When I finally asked him about why he got stressed, he broke down and told me about his horrible dad vaguely. A few months later, he had the worst break down . . . He shattered completely and abandoned me."

It was dark. The windows were left wide open with the full moon peeking in. There was shards of broken glass upon the floor and Sahibha let out a loud gasp. She tugged her dark blue dress up above her ankles and her feet jumped over the bloody shards. Her breathes ragged as she prayed for Abeer's and Veer's saftey.

Kabir's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Abeer, showing emotions? Sounds highly unlikely - and who was Abeer's father? Kabir licks his lips to refrain himself from interrupting her and asking how Abeer's father changed him.

She carried on walking, and stopped as soon as she heard a baby wailing. "Stop, please," Abeer begged, his tone something Sahibha had never heard. It was a desperate plea, a dark and mellow tone. It was as if the throat had been pierced with broken glass. "Please . . . He'll come. He'll be angry."

"I came home after doing some last minute grocery shopping and found him on the bathroom floor. He was . . . He was begging Veer to stop crying because otherwise someone will come."

"Abeer?" Sahibha said, opening the door slightly. Suddenly, bloodshot eyes shot up to meet hers. They fall back without processing who stood in the hallway. His dark hair was ruffled and he kept running a hand through it. A photograh lies on the floor. It was of a man, a woman and a young child who looks like Abeer.

"I had never seen him like that."

He didn't notice Sahibha at first. Instead, he rocked himself gently. It was only after the second time she called out his name that he looked up. "Sahibha . . . Someone sent this in the mail," Abeer chocked out, nudging the photograh away from himself. As he does this, his bloody hands came to light and made Sahibha sharply inhale. "I accidentally broke the vase they sent as wel. That made Veer cry."

"It was horrifying. Something out of a horror movie. The Abeer I knew completely disappeared. All his confidence had melted into fear and panick."

"He didn't shut up," Abeer explained, shaking his head slowly. He exhaled a breath, his panicked breathes evening out. Perhaps it was because of the magic Sahibha had on him; how easily she pulls him back from hell to heaven. "I placed him in our bedroom. But I didn't know what to do. I'm unfit to be a father -" his voice cracked "- I'm a monster like him."

"After that panick attack or whatever it was, I hugged him and managed to convince him to go to sleep."

It has been ten minutes since Sahibha has come home and already peace has fallen. She managed to coax Abeer out of the bathroom, clean up his cuts and get him within the bed. She was pulling the blanket over his chest when Abeer grabbed her wrist in a sudden motion. His eyes were soft and unguarded with tears swirling within them. "Don't go," he begged. "You're the petals upon a rose that has nothing but thorns. Without you, I'll have nothing."

Desperate. His eyes were desperate. "I'll loose all sanity if you go too," he confessed with a monotone. Sahibha's hands fell upon his forehead as she wiped away his strands of hair from his forehead. Her lips met his forehead, and he closed his eyes with a small smile upon his lips. Peace. His heart was filled with peace at last. "I love you more than anything."

"He left the morning after without telling me about what happened. It happened while I was asleep and I woke up to all his clothes missing and the house a mess."

Sahibha twisted over, her arms lazily flying towards where Abeer was in attempt to stay warm. Instead, she met the bedsheet where Abeer once laid. With startled blue eyes, she walked around the apartment searching for Abeer without saying anything in order to keep Veer asleep. When she walked within their small kitchen, she found a huge sum of money and a letter.

"He told me he was sorry in a letter but the letter sounded vague and as if Abeer went crazy in trying to separate himself and his father."

'I can't do this anymore, Sahibha. What if I hurt you? What if you start to hate me? It's within my blood to be cruel and horrible. I need to get rid of it, but how? How do I erase my own blood?

One day . . . One day, I won't have hatred within my heart. I'll be pure. Soft. Someone with a heart like yours that deserves someone soft like you. When that day comes, everything else but you can disappear. It'll just be us two. In love. Happy. Without our pasts. Without a single trace of hatred.

- Abeer.'

"And that was the end of that . . .," Sahibha trailed off, her eyes somewhere else. Kabir leans in closer, expecting more but he received nothing more than stonic silence. It took him a moment of watching Sahibha's darting eyes to realize that wasn't the end of Abeer's and Sahibha's tale. There was more secrets -- but Sahibha gave Kabir his privacy about his relationships so he'll do the same for her by keeping silent.

But his mind still races. Does Sahibha still love Abeer? Did Abeer ever truly love Sahibha or was it all for show? Why would Abeer stay with Sahibha for so long, and take care of a child? Abeer seems interested within an ideal life; a perfect wife, child and career but an illegitimate child? There's no way all these pieces fitted together unless Abeer truly loved Sahibha . . . but what stopped him? What made him obsessed with Nazia after their break up and after he choose Sahibha instead?

His head pounds with all of these thoughts. There's this light and dainty feeling about him which makes him feel like he'll fall over the terrace with all of this overthinking and newfound knowledge.

Goddamit. Everything seems to be connected . . . this is much more than a coincidence. Everything seems to have twisted into Abeer's sick game. Sahibha. Nazia. Megha. He wouldn't be surpirsed if Harnaam somehow got trapped by Abeer's mind.

He stares beneath him, watching cars speed through green and red lights. The orange lights makes his headache worse but he keeps staring at it. It keeps his mind away from pacing in sheer anger. How could one person screw up his entire life and dozens' of others too so easily?

She bites her lip as tears well up in her eyes. "I tried to move on from Abeer. I got so happy when some on fell in love with me or showered me with attention but I couldn't ever return the feelings. Ever. Despite that, me and Veer were happy enough until I found out Veer had a hole in his heart. To fix it I needed cash, which is something I don't have -"

"- But something Abeer has. That's why you're here, isn't it?" Kabir interrupts, his eyes filled with curiosity. He knew that something felt off about Sahibha. There was always something foreign about her. Sahibha nods, and tucks a strand of hair away from her face. "But Abeer wouldn't do anything for free, even for his own kid. He's too selfish. What did he ask?"

She gulps, running a hand through her hair. Her blue eyes meet Kabir's, and he only now realizes how heartbroken Sahibha truly is. Her cheeks have become a vivid shade of red; her tears streaming down freely as her clumped eyelashes blink them out.

"I - I told him I couldn't do it at first," she stutters out, her eyes falling to Kabir's feelings. "But Veer became more and more sick as I grew more desperate. Abeer took advantage of that."

"What did he ask?"

"For me to make it seem like you've moved past Nazia and that you were cheating on her with me," Sahibha finally confesses, her eyes darting up towards Kabir.

A sharp pang hits his heart. He had already guessed it but hearing it aloud shattered his hopes. He enjoyed living in the fantasy of that him and Sahibha were friends.

Sahibha's face crumples seeing Kabir upset. She puts her face in her hands, covering the way tears pool out of her dull blue eyes. The usually striking blue eyes have lost their cheer and have become empty with nothing but tears. "I'm so so sorry Kabir. I didn't want to make Nazia hate you but it's the only way I can save Veer."

Thoughts spin around Kabir's head and he almost forgets to inhale. He takes a sharp inhale of breath and lets it go like a petal falling off a rose. He grips the railings tightly; a weak attempt to distract himself from the recent discovery of finding out Sahibha, his so called friend, had been using him.

It's as if Sahibha's motherly love towards her son was another game for Abeer. A small chess piece, a pawn. Nor did he care for his own son's life or a mother's love for him. He simply used it to his advantage. The matters of the heart is a mere game to Abeer.

He wants to yell at Sahibha. Because of her, Nazia hates him more. But how can he yell at her? He saw the way she spoke of Veer, the tone reminding him of how strong the bond of some mothers and childern is. He knows that his own mother would've gone at any length to save him and his sister.

Although his heart is aching, he needs to know that he can't do anything about the past. Whatever Sahibha has done is not her fault but rather Abeer's. He was the one who trapped Sahibha into his sick little game.

Kabir takes a step forward and he wraps his arms around Sahibha, listening to heartbreaking sobs. "It's okay," he hushes her, the scent of alcohol hanging off his lips and constantly floating in the air with his words. "I forgive you. You're not a terrible person for trying to save a life. If anything, you're the highlight of what's been going on. Abeer is the evil one here, not you."

She clutches him tighter. A murmur of a sob melts against Kabir's chest. "I swear you're the greatest friend to ever exist," Sahibha mumbles. Her heart feels warmer. Less heavy now that Kabir knows the truth. "Thank you."

Kabir chuckles at that, and then pushes Sahibha out of his arms. She wipes as the rest of her tears with the back of her hand, smiling at Kabir who can barely manage a tightlipped smile back. He drunkenly stumbles back. "I'm exhausted," he yawns. "I'll crash on the couch, sounds good?"

Sahibha nods, unaware of the storm unfolding within Kabir's chest.

□

how was the chapter?

i've literally deleted, added and scraped so many dialogues and paragraphs for this chapter god. it's taken me weeks to finally make a copy that channels the mood semi decent enough and i still feel off about it.

are you guys excited to find out more about abeer? truth be told, while this chapter was difficult to write, abeer's is much harder and i've forced myself to binge on about seven of ranbir's movies for inspo on abeer's movements.

and like i have over 50 works within this book, most of which are drafts over 1k words long. most are about 2k to 10 k which only happened because I happen to write more than I bother to update. i'm trying to clear it out though and sort them into chapters so definitely expect more updates!

vote?

- maya