SEXUAL ASSAULT AND ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING !!!!
this chapter was extremely triggering and the content is like graphic. read at your own risk ?¿

PS: this is part two of chapter seventeen. both have been released on the same day. make sure to read part one before this. thanks.

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KABIR SIGHS, his phone dramatically ringing over and over. With a sigh, he picks it up and sees a message from Megha. He almost walks out of his dim room to tell Harnaam but then he remembers that she's out with Nazia.

Bummer. He looks at the message, expecting it to be something about their parents. Instead, it reads 'bhaijaan, im scared. please help me.' Along with the text, she sent the location and Kabir got up quickly.

He grabs for his jacket, his eyes wide and startled. Did Abeer do something to his sister? The place Megha is at is ridiculously dodgy. It's a half completed building that aims to be apartments one day and it's also on the outskirts of the city. It'll take Kabir at least thirty minutes with this traffic and his fear is growing with all the questions.

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FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, Harnaam opens Kabir's door, her buzz of happiness dying as Nazia impatiently waits besides her. They've been out in a restaurant for a while and watched a free concert for a while. After checking up on Kabir, they planned to get some coffee and bidge on some Bollywood movies.

There's a lump of blanket on his bed, half of it carelessly thrown on one side as if he just casually jumped out of it. His lighter, his ciggerette, his wallet and everything that he usually carries with him lies on his bedside table. Even his license lies idle on a cabinet.

Harnaam's eyes widen, and she open the door more. "Kabir?" she calls out, her tone soft and questioning. The trip to her hours was just meant for her to get her pajamas, her charger and everything she needed. All she wanted from Kabir was to make sure he was safe and sound.

Nazia pushes herself off the wall and looks around in shock. "Nazia, you don't think he . . .," Harnaam says, her voice becoming to dry after a moment. She waves her hand, trying to think of a word that eases the impact of sucide. Even thirteen years of education couldn't give her a word that makes sucide less of a grave thing.

Nazia shakes her head no immediately, her heart sinking in fear. She walks into the room, pulling the shut curtains open quickly to look for some sort of sign he was here. "Maybe he's at Sahibha's?" Nazia says, her tone bitter. "You're not his babysitter anyways. He'll be fine."

Harnaam's eyes are filling themselves with worry. All she can think about is Kabir's first sucide attempt where she had sat besides his almost-dead body and prayed. She still remembers how panicked she was, how she couldn't sleep until Kabir finally woke up and how Kabir looked sickly yellow in that white hospital sheets. It was a horrid week, a week filled with despair for her family and Kabir's close friends. She could still remember how Kabir's close friend Iqbal had sobbed tearstains into her shirts. They had even made shifts to make sure at least one of them were near Kabir at all times.

She doesn't know what to do besides worry. Nazia quickly brings out her phone at her friend's reaction. "Don't worry. I'll just call him," Nazia reassures her, putting the phone to her ear and she smiles.

The smile doesn't last for long when the phone immeaditely disconnects. "He's not available. He probably turned his phone off so he can . . . spend quality time with Sahibha," Nazia shrugs, shooting Harnaam a forced smile although all her mind can be thinking about is how Kabir is most likely sleeping with Sahibha.

Harnaam gives Nazia a glare. "Not everything is about Sahibha. He could be in trouble," Harnaam suggests, already walking towards the drawers to search for a number. "I'm going to look for Sahibha's number."

After closing and shutting most of the draws, she finds a number written on the back of a receipt. Nazia leans against a wall, watching Harnaam quickly dial the number. "Hello," Sahibha groggily says, her voice heavy with a sigh.

"Hey, I was wondering if Kabir was with you? This is his sister, Harnaam," she replies, quickly informing her. Harnaam impatiently taps her foot, her eyes making eye contact with Nazia's. Harnaam makes a 'puking' hand gesture with one hand moving from her mouth to midair causing Nazia to chuckle.

"No. Why would he be here anyways? We're only friends. You might want to ring his cell or something," Sahibha replies, and she shuts the call abruptly. It's awfully late and Harnaam can't blame her for wanting to get it over and done with.

Harnaam's eyes widen in fear and Nazia already knows that they'll spend the rest of the night waiting for Kabir wherever he is.

Where is he?

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THIRTY MINUTES LATER, he frantically knocks the door of the building. It's a skeleton of a place. Only the first two floors are acceptable looking, the rest is half complete. When he hears nothing, he walks in and shuts the doors behind him. Without the help of the moon, Kabir is forced to use the flashlight on his phone and he grips his pocket knife.

A few minutes later, he's on the second floor and the door shuts behind him. His voice is hoarse from yelling Megha. "Megha?" he asks, his voice a whisper. The name sounds more like a hope than a question.

The click of the heels prove it wrong. Kabir's stomach sinks, and he knows Megha will never wear high heels in her entire life. She claims she's tall enough. Out of fear, he drops the flashlight and his eyes adjusts the moon's light that pokes through the incomplete window.

He knows the sound of these heels a bit too well.

His mouth tastes bitter, and he can remember sleeping on a wooden floor as these heels passed his head. Sometimes, these heels dug into his fingers - a completely different way to wake up to, compared to Nazia's kisses. He remembers being locked out of their bedroom when she was mad at him, and hearing those heels walk around their room.

"Bella," he mumbles, and as if the faint whisper of her name had summoned her, she walks into the moonlight. She smiles a groundbreaking smile and Kabir takes a step away. Her blonde hair is pinned up in a messy bun and her lips are painted a matte red.

"I haven't seen you in a while Kabir," she states, her eyes doing a familiar lookover. Judging by the small smile on her lips, she's impressed by his looks. "I like the stubble but what are these clothes? You look like a beggar. Thank God you won't be wearing them any longer."

Kabir raises an eyebrow and then suddenly everything starts to fall together. Megha isn't here. This was a set up . . . He needs to leave now. His eyes scan the room, looking for anything that could protect him besides his measily pocket knife. There's nothing beside a bed in this bare room.

Bella moves closer to him, each step of her high heels giving him a sick feel to his stomach. He wants to vomit, preferably all over her. The need intensifies when Bella's fingers gracefully wrap around his wrist despite the fact he's walking closer and closer to the wall. Another step later, his back hits the wall and there's nowhere he can go.

"What are you doing?" Kabir asks, gulping. His tone is soft, afraid and shivers are already cascading down his spine by fear. Bella simply puts a finger to his lips; her touch cold and unforgiving. Kabir doesn't speak after that.

She walks closer to the bed and Kabir stands in the same spot. He brings out the pocket knife, hiding it behind his thighs. "Come," she calls, her voice soft. "I'll be nice."

When Kabir doesn't move, she sighs dramatically. Bella leans down, her fingers grasping something under the bed. While her eyes are away from him, he quickly bolts for the door and tries to open it. The door doesn't budge at all and he hears Bella's pearly laugh.

When he looks back, Bella shakes a key and tucks it in her pocket. "You've never been on the brightest side. Don't you think I'll lock the door?" Bella questions, raising an eyebrow. "I'll let your mistake pass as I find it amusing. Next time, I won't be so friendly."

"Why are you doing this," Kabir asks, his voice a hoarse whisper. He would do anything to leave, and that included to throwing himself off this floor through the window. Having a fractured skull sounded sweet and loving compared to Bella's forced kisses and having a knife draw blood on his neck. Death would be better than those poisonous lips.

Bella looks at the object she pulled out under the bed. It's a knife, a long and sharp one that sparkles in the dim light. "I want to make your life a living hell." she smiles. "I'll make sure you'll be unable to ever be happy again."

Bella gets off the bed, walking closer to Kabir as he sends a silent prayer to God. His heartbeat is drumming loudly with each step she takes and he moves closer to the door until there is nothing between him and the door.

She moves closer to him, causing his breath to hitch and his nose to inhale her strong perfume. It smells like roses and of thorns coated in blood. The scent is enough to mark his stomach twist and remember how his lips had brushed the smooth skin on her neck once upon a time.

This time, her lips brush the skin on his neck. It's a soft touch but it's enough to make his skin burn at her touch. He wants to move, he wants to leave - but the knife on the side of his neck makes him unable to move. When Kabir shifts slightly away, the knife makes contact with his skin and digs in slightly. "Get used to this. I mean it when I want to make your life utter hell," Bella threatens.

Kabir tries to search her eyes for some sort of softness but there's nothing. She's cold, calculated, and crafted without a trace of sympathy. "I'm - I'm sorry for sending you to jail, just leave me alone," he begs, his tone shaky.

Blood trickles down his neck, coming from the knife. It's barely anything compared to the rest of the scars on his neck. When she had thrown that beer bottle, it left so many scars and it was followed by a deep cut with the same knife. There was so much blood and to today, the sight of blood makes him sick.

Bella scoffs. "You think I'm mad about that? No. I'm angry you left me, destroyed my perfect world, my fucking career, and thought I was just some random girl you could brush off," she rants, her tone deathly calm. "How dare you leave me? You're my bloody property, my fucking perfect puppet, not some other girl's!"

Kabir tries to lean back, away from her scalding words but his head just digs into the cement of the wall further. "You're mine. Remember that," she says, digging the knife in his neck slightly more. Her nails on the other hand, scrape the skin on his back with intent to leave scars. Kabir winces without saying anything.

He nods, his eyes fearfully watching Bella. His head bobs up and down until a small smirk lights up her face. There's an odd gleam to her eyes as if his pain makes her happy. As if she has some sick joy out of this.

Bella let goes off him and walks over to the bed. There's something on the floor that Kabir didn't realize was there. It's a needle, filled with a strange liquid. "How did you even get that?" Kabir questions, raising an eyebrow as he takes a few steps away. Maybe he can distract her by asking questions about herself -- she loves talking about herself.

"From someone who wants to make your life hell. Surprisingly, there's another person too who has the funding," Bella says, shrugging as Kabir's eyebrows knit together even more. Who would even hate him so much to the point they'll search for his ex abuser and somehow hack Megha's phone?

Abeer?

Kabir quickly shakes the questions out of his head, his eyes wandering to Bella who is walking too close to him for his liking. "You know I hate needles," Kabir blurts out, his eyes tracing the sharpness of it. It shines in the air, glittering as if it's something magical.

"I know."

Her hands are already on Kabir's shirt, peeling the long sleeves until the needles is touching his forearm. Her eyes are solely focused on the needles -- they don't even glance towards Kabir once so when he wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her, she drops the needle out of shock. Kabir lets her go as soon as he hears the needle hit the floor, pushing her as far as he can. He grabs the syringe, breathing in deeply while Bella watches him with wide eyes.

He grabs her arm, stabbing her with it before she can protest or yell at him. Kabir doesn't know where this new found bravery came from; all he knows is that he needs to get out of there. She falls limp, breathing shallow breathes. Kabir gently puts her on the floor, taking a step away from her body as he breathes in deeply.

A sob emerges from his throat, something that had been just as frozen as Kabir was in those five or so minutes Bella was touching him.

Bella is back, and she wants to hurt him again. She wants to destroy the very essence of whatever is left of Kabir and honestly, she's already winning. He's just so fucking tired of life and its hurdles.

Bella's knife drips with Kabir's blood, sitting on the floor besides Bella's slump body. He holds it up, the blood sliding off the knife and onto his wrist. It trickles down to his forearm, causing a lake on his own arm.

He watches Bella's sleeping body with interest, his arm bringing the knife higher as he wonders if it's okay from him to send this knife through her heart. To finally end the game Bella is playing with him.

Her eyes are tightly shut, sleeping peacefully. Long blond eyelashes touch her cheeks, giving her an identity of an angel without knowing about her horrid heart. If he stabs her once, no one would have to know about her death. It'll be over; the torture will finally be over. He doesn't; she'll be angrier and back in a few days with the help of Abeer - or whatever his name is.

For a few seconds, he stands there with his bloody neck and battered lip with deep breathes. All he does is wonder is how to end this game Bella is playing with him. He's shaking, all of his courage drained out as he drops Bella's knife on the floor. It falls besides the needle, besides her body and he barely processes it all before he's already walking away.

He can't kill her. It's sickening, the idea of death and blood causes him to pause cheesy flicks. He would get the strangest looks from Nazia whenever he had to leave in the middle of a Bollywood action movies when there was blood all over the screen. He had to one day explain it was because the mere sight of blood reminded him of the way blood oozed out of his body with Bella.

He just doesn't have the energy, the courage or the strength to kill someone; even if that person is Bella.

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KABIR STOPS THE CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERTED ROAD, having no idea where he was except he was far away from Bella. He gets out of the car, falling to his knees on the road as he heaves out bile. He staggers up again, leaning against his car slightly, his mind racing with anxiety that she'll catch him out here. That he needs to leave, that he'll never be safe again, that she'll be so angry if she finds him again --

He rubs his forehead, trying to ease the panick attack that's about to take over his body. He exhales, inhales once again slowly before getting back in the car. The slam of the door sounds awfully loud, but not louder than the ringing and questions in his ears.

He takes another breath in, exhaling with a sob that chokes him. Suddenly his entire body is shaking as he puts his head in his hands and cries.

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THE WATER CASADES DOWN HIS SKIN, and he rubs and rubs until there's scratch marks everywhere. His brown skin has turned duller with her touch and the color has turned red with his scrubbing.

He had walked into Harnaam's apartment cautiously, his eyes glancing over Nazia's sleeping figure on the couch. He could hear Harnaam's voice in the middle of a prayer, and she's still praying a few minutes later. From her traces of words he can hear, he knows she's at the beginning of jaap ji sahib so it'll be a while until she starts to ask him where he is. He'll tuck himself into his bed by then.

He scrapes his skin, eventhough he seems to be unable to get her touch off him. His lips are swollen from rubbing it, his eyes are red from tears that he allowed to fall as soon as he stepped within the shower. The tears of betrayal fall to along with the shower's water, mixing into something new and something else.

A few minutes later, he wears nothing besides boxers and steps out of the shower. There's a full length mirror here, and he watches himself carefully and he scans for new bruises or marks. It's a routine. He would wear scarves, long sleeves, hoodies on the hottest days and make excuses before he has to use them before.

Today is no different.

"You need to leave her."

The words spun around Kabir's head until a familiar pound of a headache started throbbing. The shower's waters casdade down his back, washing off soap the memories of his chat with Harnaam.

A few hours ago, he was sitting at a cafe with Harnaam and he had spilled his guts about how Bella has been harming him. He tried to brush it off and Harnaam has left saying those words.

That led to more and more questions. Does he want to leave Bella? The answer is yes, well deep within his heart and the logical side of his head says yes but there's something wrong. He feels afraid . . .

Kabir turned off the shower and wore nothing besides boxers and jeans. He'll put a shirt on when he finally packed all his bags. He needs to leave before all his bravery flies out of the window and he reduces himself to Bella's favorite toy. Everything was a blur. He threw in anything he could find while hoping around the cold tiles with bare feet and no shirt.

Suddenly the door opened. Kabir looked up, his eyes startled and widen as if he was doing a sin. Bella stood up, staggering towards Kabir with a large alcoholic beer. She wore her favorite dark red lipstick, most of it blurring itself around her lips. There was a rather red hickey on her neck and her was shirt half open.

Kabir's breathing became delayed until he was only taking sharp intakes of air when he remembered to breathe. His heart is thumping all over the place and his mind is rushing around. "I can explain," he said, willing to throw all these clothes back in the hangers and make this entire night about pleasing Bella.

Bella simply frowned at the clothes and walked closer until Kabir could smell the alcohol hanging off her lips. She took another swing of the drink and then lifted it in the air, offering it to Kabir. Kabir smiled a tightlipped smile and shook his head no. Bella moved closer until she was leaning against his naked chest and she tlited his jaw to face her.

The drink made its way to his lips and a few seconds later, he was forced to gulp the alcohol. It burned his throat and it tasted like acid rather than the poison it was supposedly meant to be. He staggered away from Bella's touch and she dropped the drink, and it broke into a few missing pieces.

There's was this ache in his stomach. He knew that this isn't the worst Bella has done to him but at that moment, it could've been listed as it. Just when he had so much hope and possibility for the future. A life without Bella, without forced alchol, nights, and bruises.

Bella pulled Kabir closer, and pulled the thoughts out of his mind when her pale hand enclosed around his arm. She tugged him closer and closer until his feet touched the broken beer glass. The pain shooted through his feet and he could feel the blood trickling already.

She brought him and his bloodied feet closer as if this was a dance and he was her favorite puppet to toy with. He was so tired of her touch, of her games, and of being nothing besides a toy.

He wanted to be free so badly. He wanted to leave this place, leave her, and these unrestless nights so much that it ached his heart of how far it is. Bella leaned down, gracefully picking up one of the largest glass pieces. It was the top of the beer bottle which lay unharmed with jagged edges.

The broken half finds its way to Kabir's neck and it loomed on the brown skin of his shoulderblades dauntingly. Kabir's hands unwillingly tightened around her waist as she leaned into his chest. She leaned in closer, her soft lips teasing the skin between his collarbones.

She stood up on her tipitoes, her lips meeting his for a brief second before Kabir pushed her away and took a large step back, away from the pile of broken glass. "I want to break up," he confessed, his voice soft. "Please."

Bella pretended not have heard him and she moved closer to him until her finger is tracing his chest. He wondered if she could hear his frantic heartbeats. Bella still held the broken glass in her hand and Kabir took another step away from her, and quickly turned around as if he didn't see her.

Suddenly, all Kabir could feel was this numbing pain in his shoulder followed by the feeling of blood trickling down his back. He turned around and all he could see was Bella without her broken glass piece. She must've thrown it. The theory explained why his back's ache is similar to his feet's.

Bella turned around, as if to show that she called what happened in this relationship. To break up or to not is completely only up to her, not Kabir. She walked to her bedside table, and opened up all the drawers until she found what she was looking for.

A pocket knife.

Kabir gulped as he watched her twist the knife around as the light reflected into her eyes. He touched the bed softly, his fingers lingering on his favorite black shirt. Bella walked closer to him and Kabir gave up. He didn't move back or front. This is the end of his story. Bella is the only end he'll ever get. It'll be death with her hands or eternity in her arms.

She ran the blade against his neck, drawing more crimson blood. It trickled down his bare chest, and they felt like tears of his body. Bella leaned against his chest, most likely dirtying her white shirt with blood, and she mumbled, "choose what you want. Death or me?"

When she leaned away, the knife went with her. It felt like a weight was lifted off Kabir's heart when that knife moved away. "Death," Kabir answered.

He hated this so damn much. He'd rather die than be stuck in this never-ending play.

That was all it took for Bella to drop her knife and to lock all the windows. Next came the doors, and Kabir could hear her walking out of their apartment as blood trickled out of his body, staining their bedsheets.

A phone rung, over and over but it was too far for Kabir to pick up. He didn't have enough energy to do so or enough willpower. His eyes shut, after a few minutes of fluttering and fighting.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital and Harnaam told him everything would be okay. She had ran over, afraid that something happened to her brother, her cousin. Her instincts were right. Harnaam kept saying everything would be okay as if it was a prayer.

She was wrong. Nothing is okay, nothing will ever be okay again.

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I remember the good 'ol days when Kabir used to sing crappy Bollywood songs and shake his booty. started from the top and now we're here.

How was the chapter? I really need your help on this because honestly this was the MOST difficult chapter i've had to write. It was awful and honestly i'm not even sure if it's good or not.

what do you feel about the flow of this story?

btw; this is the darkest this book gets.

vote?

- Maya