***Mak's POV***

I lay beside the love of my life. His touch is a constant source of comfort. I try to sleep. My head is a fucking mess. I don't even want to think about what just occurred.

I get no reprieve.

My head is a war zone. Ambien doesn't even help. I just lay here. Grey rubs my waist in his sleep. The touch is amazing, but I wonder how much sleep he is actually getting.

I almost killed a man. Okay, the word man is a loose interpretation. All the same. I actually shot a human being.

My stomach is in knots with that knowledge. I mean I was in danger. That does make it self defense. What makes it okay, though?

I run my hands over my face and try not to groan. My eyes are burning with heat from exhaustion. My skin tingles from sleep deprivation. My legs feel restless, the muscles jerking as I stay still.

I shift and roll over. I scrunch my eyes closed tightly as tears well up. I can't pin point why I have wet orbs. Probably because I'm so damn tired. Huffing quietly, I rock my legs back and forth. Grey groans and rolls over. He throws his arm over my waist and pulls me closely. He snuggles closer and I sigh.

I just want fucking sleep. Please!

I clamp my eyes tightly and pray to whoever listens up there. I just want peace. It can't be that much to ask.

Mr. Sandman decides to ignore my pleads for help.

Thoughts run marathons in my head. I can still smell that bastard. His sickly breath, of cigars and alcohol, filtered into my nose as he had ground himself on me. I shutter at the sickening memory. I'm so repulsed.

I lay awake as the entire day replays in my mind.

I should have never gone. I was so stupid. I should have listened to my guts. This would never have happened.

Carl would still be out there though. I find a little comfort in the fact that he is locked away. I groan when I realize a trial will follow.

Fuck! Does it ever end?

I'm so tired. I'm so exhausted from running for years. I'm so fed up with the bullshit hand that life dealt me. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to participate in this game a moment longer.

Why me?

Frustration builds the longer I lie on my side. I can't shake the scenes that play out in front of me.

I softly maneuver my body from Grey's hold. My heart hammers as I try desperately to escape the room without waking him. He's exhausted too. All of this is just too fucking much.

Walking outside of the penthouse, I quietly close the door behind me. I don't even know what I'm doing. I just need something, anything.

I walk along the perimeter of our gated community. Staring in front of me, the darkness surrounds me. Somehow, it is a mild comfort. I wrap my hands around my bare biceps. I guess they're still biceps at my size.

I look up at the velvet blackness above me. Somewhere up there, my guardian angel is recovering from a coronary. I feel sorry for the unlucky bastard that got stuck patrolling me.

What the fuck was I thinking shooting that gun?

What if I had been shot?

I think self deprecation is my new best friend.

I can't stand the thoughts that dance wildly thru my brain. I wish they just took an exit, stage left.

Mumbling to myself, chastising my stupidity, I shuffle my bare feet along the dew dampened grass. My toes curl with each step on to the wet plush greenery.

I really wish sleep would come find me.

I miss you my dear friend.

I yawn, on cue. My eyes roll from the preposterous idea of sleep.

My aching legs protest my walk. I hmph as I drop to the grass. My ass lands on the wet blades. I pull my knees into my chest and wrap my arms around them. Leaning my head down, I rest my chin on my arms.

I don't know what time it was when I chose to take my impromptu journey. I only realize how early it is when the sun begins to say good morning. My eyes are so heavy. At this point, I could sleep for days. I fall back into the moist ground beneath me.

I throw my arm over my eyes and prop my knees up with my feet flat on the ground. The birds chirp, announcing the new day. The cool sun radiates against beautiful purple and orange skies. The wind stirs and caresses my chilled skin with it's cool breeze.

How does the sun know to wake?

Chuckling at my random thought, I remove my arm and witness the sun's beautiful entrance. It's surreal that such beauty exists in a world so full of darkness.

My thoughts are interrupted by a large presence. I turn my head to the side and watch as Mario lowers himself to my position. I can feel his stare zoned in on my person.

"Good morning." Mario announces.

"Morning." I reply.

"You didn't sleep." Mario states, no question, just pure observation.

I shrug. No point in denying it. I'm sure it's written all over my face.

"Wanna talk?" Mario offers.

"Sure." I agree. I don't want to talk but, hell I have been alone with my thoughts all night. That didn't help at all. What could talking hurt?

"Which part of yesterday is causing you dismay?" Mario questions.

"Everything." I confess. The day before bears it's weight on my soul.

"You're so fucking brave, kid. I mean like so damn brave." Mario coos.

"I just feel stupid." I murmur.

"Why?" Mario asks incredulously.

"That could have ended so much worse." I whisper.

"It could have. But, it didn't. Someone wise said almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." I can hear the smirk in his timbered voice.

"A fool said that Mario." I chuckle.

"Mak, you're too damn hard on yourself." Mario accuses.

"Maybe. Probably." I agree.

"Mak, what you did, that saved a lot of people. I know you aren't thinking about that right now. But, you should. People's lives were altered in the best way because you took a stand. You should feel proud of that." He encourages.

"I guess so." I agree reluctantly.

"I'm not trying to push you. It's sorta just what I do. You need help Mak. Not that you aren't perfect. It's just, you have been thru too much. I think you should stay in therapy. I think you need someone to help shape your thoughts. You are just so damn hard on yourself." Mario pats my knee.

His words settle themselves into the deepest parts of my brain. They etch themselves and nestle in between the layers of anxiety.

When all you ever know is depending on yourself, you tend to raise your personal expectations.

Mario stands and offers me a hand. I slowly grasp his offered hand. He pulls me up to a standing position and throws his arm over my shoulder. He tucks me under his arm and holds me close.

"Kid. You're one in a million." Mario whispers. He looks down at me with eyes that scream adoration and approval.

"Thanks." I whisper. His approval does a little to shake my wary feelings.

"You hungry? I would ask if you're tired. But, that's beyond apparent. Did you take sleeping meds?" Mario rattles.

"I took ambien. It did nothing." I reveal.

"Grey's so worried about you. He loves you so fucking much, Mak. I hope you realize that." Mario talks as we walk towards the penthouse.

"I love him too." I confirm.

"We know." Mario nods his head. His arm never leaves my shoulders as he leads us to the house.

We enter our home and the smell of bacon and pancakes hits my nose.

I'm fucking famished.

Looking up, I notice Kip is manning the stove. He looks over and smiles widely towards me.

"Morning babe. Morning hero." Kip chuckles.

"Yeah, I rid the world of one bane and ten more will replace him." I scoff.

"You can't do it all." Kip reminds me.

He walks over and places a steaming mug of coffee in my hands. He leans down and kisses my forehead. He turns and kisses Mario's lips.

"I know. I just wish everything wasn't always so fucked." I shake my head. I pull my cup up to my lips and take a long pull from the mug.

"There you are." I look up at the husky sound of Grey's morning voice. He looks completely disheveled. The evidence of a restless night's sleep is painted over his beautiful features.

Guilt overwhelms me.

Grey strides over and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. He kisses my neck and I melt into his form.

"Yep, here I am." I state blandly. My presence doesn't seem much like a gift at the moment.

"Did you sleep at all?" Grey asks softly. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck.

I shake my head.

"Can I get you anything?" Grey wonders. His words dance along my skin. My hairs salute the timber of his voice.

"No. Thank you though. Food and a shower I guess." I admit.

"Well sit down. The food won't eat itself." Kip urges as he plates five meals.

Grey leads me to the table and pulls my chair out. I sit obediently. He wraps his hands around both of mine for a moment. Then we intertwine our left and right hands.

Mark comes in on cue and smiles over at me and Grey. He nods to Kip and Mario.

We sit down at the table and my stomach grumbles. It loudly echos through the air.

"Eat, Baby. Please." Grey whispers. His lips touch my temple and I lean in.

Grey swipes his hand thru my hair and sighs.

I straighten up and pull my plate closer. I moan as the pancake meets my lips.

"Good?" Kip asks with anticipation.

"Really good. Thank you Kip." I praise in a soft voice.

"You're welcome. Hey, do us all a favor?" Kip smiles.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Let it go, Elsa. You have carried these burdens long enough. Let it go and live." Kip explains.

"Sounds like bliss." I shoot out.

"We can't watch you beat yourself up. What happened wasn't actually your fault. You were a victim. Time to take the bull by the dick, babe." Mark mumbles as he swallows his bite.

"Easy peasy." I chuckle.

I eat my breakfast before leaving the table. I carry my coffee to the room and get undressed. I turn on the shower and glance in the mirror while waiting for the temperature to rise.

I look like hell!

I enter the shower and groan as the hot water hits my aching skin. I lean my forehead down on the wall as the streams trickle down my back. The beads of moisture dance across my skin biting like little ants. I hear the shower door open and I don't bother to move from my position.

Large, warm arms wrap around my waist. Grey curls over my small form and rests his head in between my shoulder blades. I hum at the contact.

Minutes pass before Grey starts moving around in the shower. I feel his hands connect with my skin. The soap slides across my flesh and he massages lightly with his thick, amazing fingers. I melt under his skilled touch.

I yawn loudly as Grey washes me from head to toe. I can't hardly keep myself upright, let alone actually move. My eyes never open. They feel glued shut.

Grey picks me up and dries me off. He dresses me quickly before I'm in his arms once again. Before I know it, I'm cuddled into his burly arms on the couch. I snuggle into his warmth. My body relaxes and I can't fight the lull of sleep.

Every inch of my body feels like mush.

Grey gently rubs his palms across my clothed flesh and the complete collapse of my system settles in. I literally puddle in his arms. My heavy eyes relinquish their fight. The heat of exhaustion consumes me. My body finally admits defeat.

Sleep aggressively finds me and snatches me into it's welcoming arms.