•••••••••••••Trigger Warning••••••••••

***Mak's POV***

Exposing the single most embarrassing event of my childhood has taken a toll. I was okay as long as that detail was locked safely away in my skeleton closet. It's easy to ignore shit when it's hidden in the deepest parts of your mind.

Now, people I respect know that a pedophile defiled me.

I can't even look Grey in the eyes. I'm embarrassed and I feel worthless.

The weight of that single event rests heavily upon my chest. I would do anything to change it. Really. Anything.

Worse than the reality that I am a victim of a serial child molester, is the fact that I could have stopped others from being hurt. That guilt is like an anvil sitting on my chest.

I requested time off work from Human Resources. I didn't bother telling Grey. He would have stayed home with me. Instead, I lied. Yeah that's exactly the wrong thing to have done. I know that. Yet, I couldn't think of any other way.

I told him I'm sick. I guess in a way I am. I'm mentally sick.

I lay in bed wondering what will happen now. All the men in my life are pissed, rightfully so. I still have a deadline to return files that are not in my possession. They are locked in evidence, god only knows where.

Carl has located me. That is the scariest part of it all.

I want to leave the house but, Kip nor Mario would allow it. So, I just lay here. Honestly, I don't even know where I would go. I just feel something. Off, maybe. Hell. I don't even know how I feel.

I close my eyes and lay on my back. My mind recollects memories that are too troublesome to ignore. The thought of that disgusting man's member in my mouth makes my stomach hurt.

I curl into a ball, rocking back and forth. Why would someone hurt a child? What gratification could possibly be attained by sticking your penis somewhere it doesn't belong.

I have had sex. It was amazing. Had Grey not been willing, I could never have enjoyed myself.

I really can't process how Carl ever climaxed with my tear filled eyes pleading him to stop. How could he finish knowing I was scared, a baby. I was twelve for fucks sake. I had never even touched myself.

The thoughts run on loop in my head. I can't deter them. Like a race car at Talladega, they just keep circling the track. My hands find my hair and I pull. I pull and pull and pull. The pain is bearable and offers a distraction.

I need a distraction.

Jumping up, I pace. The anger builds. That fucker stole something from me. There is no replacement. It's just gone, in it's place lies vibrant images of an organ I have no business remembering. The sounds of his oinks and pants as he pushed my head into his crotch echo off the walls of my cranium. My head hurts. It throbs relentlessly.

They grow louder, filling the room with lust filled growls from a grown man. I shouldn't know that sound. It wasn't mine to hear. I just don't want to hear it. I don't want to know the length of his sexual organ. I don't want to know the fact that he is uncircumcised. These aren't my details. I shouldn't have this knowledge. My heart pounds mercilessly against my chest.

I don't want the scent of his disgusting body to fill my nose. Tears leak from my eyes. That smell. I have never been assaulted by something so revolting in all my life. Sweat, alcohol, cigars and a distinct hint of something musky. My stomach lurches.

The taste. Bitter. Thick. Gagging. His pubic hair unkempt, unwashed. It took hours of mouthwash to remove the flavor of sin from my mouth. It wasn't my sin. It shouldn't have been my punishment. Bile rises in my throat.

I run to the bathroom and land on the tiles. On all fours, I sink my head into the porcelain toilet bowl. My insides crawl up my throat and heave themselves towards the water. My eyes leak. My nose runs. My head throbs.

Disgusting. Vile. Used. Unworthy.

Dirty. Abused. Unclean. Ruined.

My body tremors. I grip the toilet bowl with all ten fingers. I don't want to remember this. Loud sobs break the air. My sobs.

I should have stopped him. I could have fought. Why didn't I? I didn't want it. I didn't want him. Why? How could he?

My ears ring when a sound rips thru the air. I can't hear anything. My eyes can't see. I can't breathe. What the fuck happened?

A blood curdling scream penetrates my panic and I frantically jump to my feet. The room is spinning. I can't reach the sink. It's moving. I feel like I'm drowning in water. Deep water. Too deep.

"Help!" I whimper.

"Please. Help me." I cry.

Nothing is in the right place. My voice is far away. Everything just keeps bouncing in and out of my line of vision.

"Please. Anyone." I cry.

Black spots dance behind my eyelids and the bathroom fades away. A deep thud sounds off. Pain burns the back of my head. I pant. It hurts.

Again. Thud. Again. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Nothing.

***Grey's POV***

Mak has been acting oddly the past few days. I contacted my father. He assured me it was just the ramifications of his seizure. Mak told me he didn't feel good this morning. Against my better judgement, I left him to relax while I went into the office.

I try to rush thru my day. However, we missed Friday due to the events. So, I have been stuck in my office all morning. Phone calls, emails and Skype meetings have been back to back, non-stop.

I'm just now about to take lunch.

Grabbing my phone I text my love.

Boss Man: Baby, are you feeling any better?

Three minutes

The Whole Package: .....

No answer

Boss Man: Mak?

Six minutes

The Whole Package: .....

No reply

I call my baby. The phone rings. Rings. Rings. Rings.

Mak, baby. Call me sweetheart.

I leave the voicemail.

He never ignores my texts or calls. I grab my keys and rush towards the elevator. I'm in my car and flying down the streets in minutes.

I dial Kip.

"What's up boss?" Kip answers on the first ring.

"Mak isn't answering my calls or texts." I panic.

"We are in the elevator. Give us a second." Kip hurries out.

I hear the elevator ding. I hear the keypad alert that they opened my front door. My heart pounds. I hear their footsteps and I wait to hear my baby.

"Grey." Mario yells.

"What the fuck is wrong?" I roar.

"Meet us at the hospital." Mario barks.

The line goes dead and my mind goes wild. The hospital? Oh, God.

I call my Dad and Mark on the way and they agree to meet me there. Fifteen minutes later, I slide into the parking lot of the Emergency Room. I leave my car door open, engine running and bolt thru the glass doors.

Kip catches me mid sprint.

"Where the fuck is he? What happened?" I scream.

"We walked in, vomit in the toilet, blood on the tiles. Mak was out cold. On the floor." Mario explains.

"What?" I bark.

"We were down stairs checking the perimeters." Kip explains.

I hear my name being called and I turn. My mom rushes towards me. Her eyes wide with panic. She lands in my arms.

"Is he okay, sweetie?" My mom, Amelia, asks.

"I don't know." I shake my head.

I see over, my Mom's shoulder, that my dad and Mark are walking thru the glass doors. Mark slips something into my pocket. My Dad engulfs me in a hug.

"I parked your car." Mark admits. I thank him.

"We're waiting on the Doctor." Mario informs.

"He hit his head, several times. There was a lot of blood. Too much." Kip whispers.

"Where were you two?" Mark demands an answer.

"They were checking the building. This isn't anyone's fault." I try to calm Mark down.

"Sorry." He groans. He wipes a hand down his face.

"Honey? How has Mak been?" My mother questions.

"Distant, distracted, depressed. Angry. He cries at night. In his sleep." I explain.

"He needs a psychiatrist." My Dad orders.

"Yeah." I agree.

A nurse walks out and alerts me.

"Mr. Parker?" The red headed nurse asks.

I turn and face the worn out nurse.

"Mak is sedated. He has swelling on his brain. We count three separate seizures. The last being the biggest. He is going to be admitted. You all can wait in the family area. We will get you when he is settled. Please fill out the proper paperwork." The nurse instructs.

I nod my head and follow her to the reception area. My family walks to the waiting area.

I fill out the five thousand sheets, the best I could. I give them my credit card number. Then I meet my family in the waiting area.

"Seizures." My mom repeats the diagnosis.

"He is not handling this well." Kip urges.

"I'm not sure how I would handle it. It didn't happen to me and I'm struggling." Mark says.

"We have to get Mak help. He has to be priority. He is not gonna like it." My dad starts.

I nod my head in agreement.

"Grey, you need to work from home. I will go into the office when necessary. Mak comes first." He continues.

"Yes, Sir." I accept.

"Kip, Mario. Where are we on the investigation?" My Dad finishes.

"Wrapping it up as we speak. He covered his tracks well. He paid off the victims families. We tracked the email back to his IP address. The guy who ran into Grey was an innocent bystander. The man is a rat. He is sneaky." Mario explains.

"Did you contact the victims?" Dad asks.

"Been there; done that. It's a dead end street." Kip adds.

"That's fine." My Dad dismisses the information. He cracks his knuckles and rolls his neck. This is not good.

Dad grabs his phone from his hip holster and walks off.

""We still got lawyers on retainer?" I ask mom.

Mom giggles and rolls her eyes. She nods her head.

We wait for hours. Finally, we are carried to Mak's room. He is still out of it. He has gauze wrapped around his head and the same wires as last time. A monitor shows his brain waves. We stand around observing.

Visiting hours eventually ends. Everyone says there goodbyes. I kiss my mom and dad. Then I take perch beside my baby. I hold his hand and talk sweetly to him. He doesn't move. He just breathes.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I am waken by the night nurses. They come in and check over Mak. They administer meds. They change his catheter bag and give me instructions in case of emergency.

The night is long and too quiet. Even the beeping machines seem exhausted. My Mak is in bad condition. I don't need the doctor's assessment to see it.

Standing over him, observing, I can see the dark circles. His hair is out of place. Every strand tells the story of fingers passing thru it, pulling on it. His swollen lids are red, they scream silently, angry from the tears that stung his eyes.

Bending down, I lay my cheek on Mak's cheek. I close my eyes and whisper my words of love, pleads for him to come back to me and promises to get him proper care. Tears drop onto his cheek from my own eyes and roll between our flesh. I feel like a complete failure. I shouldn't have left him.

I just stand there, frozen in my place. My heart weeps and my worry presents itself as hard sobbing tears. I'm so angry, it's hurts. Someone, Carl, did this to the most precious soul in this world. He stole his innocence and returned pain, heartbreak and shame. The look in Mak's eyes, as he confesses Carl's sin, will never leave me. Branded on my memory for eternity, it wreaks havoc.

My hands find Mak's heart and I hold them to his chest. The soft thump reminds me that he is a fighter. My baby will come back. He won't let this take him.

In my state of stress and loathing, I lose myself. Everything fades away. The beeps of the machine are silent. Mak's breaths dissipate into thin air. The scent of disinfectant seeps away. I am locked in nothingness. Peacefully trapped in a state of emptiness.

I couldn't tell you or myself how long I stayed in my own realm of purgatory. What I can say is, the movement that breaks my haze was euphoric. Trembling hands managed to whittle their way into my locks. Whimpers caress my ears. A soft kiss to my jaw break the flood gates.

I hang onto each movement, sound and touch like the lifeline they are. My sobs are cut off by the words that spill from Mak's lips.

"Grey, please help me." Mak cries.

I stay tied to my soft pier, as I promise to do whatever necessary to make my love whole once again.

"Whatever it takes. I will scale a mountain for you Mak. I will push over the Eiffel Tower with my bare hands to make you your best. I will never leave you. You are perfect and you are mine." I whisper.

"Can you call someone please?" Mak asks quietly.

"A nurse?" I clarify.

"Yeah, I feel like death." Mak confirms.

I call a nurse and she comes quickly. She administers pain meds. I accept what little time I have with an awake Mak. I kiss him softly and continue to reinforce how much I love him. Because, I do. I love him with every cell in my body. He softly breathes in his sleep. I climb into his bed and wrap my body around him. The song of his breaths pulls me towards sleep.