08/20/2015

chapter one ;
FRESHMAN

♡

DESPITE THE SLEEP medication I snuck from my mother the previous night, I had trouble sleeping. When morning came, I was exhausted, but I couldn't force myself to sleep. Eventually, I gave up.

　The threat haunted my mind. I had decided upon not telling anyone about the letter – that would have just caused trouble, and I hadn't a clue as to who the sender was. For all I knew, it could have been a prank.

　After a shower and an extremely slow hour, I dressed in a gray tank top under a black leather vest, ripped, high-waisted jeans and all black Vans. My black hair was straightened to perfection, otherwise left alone.

　The time passed by painfully slowly, and I couldn't stop trembling. In attempt to calm my nerves, I lounged in the living room and watched reruns of The Walking Dead.

　Eventually, Luke trudged downstairs, with nothing on but his boxers and his hair sticking out all over the place. Forty-five minutes remained until the bell at school would ring, signaling eight o'clock, the beginning of school.

　"You look like you lost your tan," Luke commented, his voice husky. "What time is it?"

　"Seven something, but what do you mean?"

　He shrugged, running his fingers through his messy hair as he made his way into the kitchen. "You're as pale as a ghost. Like old times. Nervous, huh?"

　I sighed deeply – I had hoped that my anxiety wasn't noticeable. When Benny came over, he would think I was stupid. It was just school, and I knew I would be all right, but I couldn't get rid of the dread that consumed me.

　"I just realized that, other than the boys, I've made no friends this summer," I called back, loud enough for him to hear me.

　"You'll make some more, trust me," he responded. I heard the sound of cereal pouring into a bowl. "Plenty of people in a school that big."

　"Plenty of opportunities to get lost and make more enemies, too. You think that Hannah girl will remember me?"

　"Definitely. There's no way she doesn't, after the way you embarrassed her at the pool."

　"She deserved it!"

　The fridge door opened and closed shortly after, and Luke didn't reply. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time.

　A text from Benny popped up just before I could turn off the screen, informing me that he was ready, and we could leave whenever. Of course, Luke wasn't even dressed, but I didn't want to rush anyway.

　Eventually, Luke returned to the living room, only to plop down on the love seat. I eyed him, wondering about the previous night. He had kissed Elizabeth, Benny's older sister. The surprise hadn't dimmed, although I had been distracted throughout the night.

　"So . . ." I spoke cautiously, "you and Elizabeth – "

　"It was a mistake." His voice was sharp, as if I had offended him. However, he didn't intimidate me.

　"Why did it happen? Did she kiss you, or . . . ?" I questioned.

　Luke's head hung, but he glared at me through his eyelashes. Even so, he answered with a sigh.

　"I kissed her," he admitted slowly, as if he didn't want to say the wrong thing. "She's in a lot of pain, emotionally . . . She's got a lot to deal with right now. And I just wanted to comfort her, and it kind of just . . . you know, happened."

　"What about Skylar?" I whispered, really earning his attention then. "Are you planning on telling her?"

　The conflict was clear in his facial expression, by the frown that wasn't quite directed at me. "I don't think it's necessary . . . It really was a mistake. We both know that. Liz and I have agreed to just forget it altogether."

　"But you did mean to do it?"

　Luke stood so quickly, I flinched slightly. "I don't wanna talk about this. Drop it."

　I raised my hands in surrender. "Fine. But what's wrong with Elizabeth? You've been saying she needs a friend for a while."

　He avoided my gaze, glancing to the side instead. "Well . . . it's personal. I don't think she wants me to tell anybody. I'm gonna go get ready now."

　Before I could say a word, he was gone, racing upstairs. So, I decided to walk over to Benny's house. Elizabeth was the one to answer the door, revealing to me the inside of the Rodriguez residence – Benny sat on the couch, eating one of his many pieces of bacon, and Lynn sat at the dining table.

　"Hey, guys," I greeted, sending Elizabeth a smile first. In her eyes, I could see the stress – but I didn't question her.

　Benny's eyes lit up, and he instantly jumped to his feet. However, Lynn was the first to greet me.

　"Hey, baby," she smiled tiredly. Despite the bags under her eyes, she looked exceptionally better than the previous day. "Ready for school?"

　"Mentally? No," I answered, crossing my arms to hide my shaking hands. "I'm scared to death, actually."

　"Oh, you'll be fine," she assured, waving me off. "Don't stress about it. Everything will go smoothly."

　"I hope," I chuckled nervously.

　A moment later, Benny stepped in front of me, a grin growing on his face. "I can't wait. After you get used to it, you'll probably love it."

　"Probably," I emphasized, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Did you get taller overnight?"

　He chuckled, his arms closing around my neck, pulling my head into his chest. "Probably."

　A smile broke onto my face. Then I realized what I knew would be true – now that I was with Benny, the anxiety escaped me, for the most part. The agonizing twisting in my stomach vanished, replaced with a sense of home. I pulled him closer, held him tighter, taking in everything – his scent, his warmth, his heartbeat.

　The memories of the previous night consumed me. He said he loved me. But being the insecure person I was, I worried whether he had changed his mind overnight – along with his height.

　"Maybe you just got shorter," Elizabeth suggested, followed by a giggle.

　"I don't think so," I laughed. "I wish, though."

　"You're perfect the way you are," Benny mumbled, tightening his arms around me.

　"Mom, they're doing it again!" Elizabeth joked. "Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and head out. Makayla, Benny, you'll like high school, trust me. Bye, I love you guys."

　After Elizabeth left, Benny and I said our goodbyes to Lynn, who said she felt much better, and crossed the road to my house. Although I had been gone for only a few minutes, Luke was already prepared to leave; in the time that I had been gone, he had styled his hair, sweeping it to the side, and dressed in a maroon shirt that hugged his body, jeans and maroon Vans.

　"You guys ready?" he asked, taking a generous bite out of a granola bar.

　"Yeah," Benny answered, still chewing on the last bit of bacon.

　Once in the car, I felt the anxiety fully return. It was all I could do not to tremble violently, but I could feel it in my chest – anyone else would have thought I was freezing.

　Benny must have noticed, because half a minute into the ride, he enclosed one of my hands in both of his. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but I was afraid to move my rigid limbs – any movement might have turned into a jerk. My free hand gripped tightly onto my black, studded, leather backpack.

　The ride was surprisingly short. In fact, we arrived in about five minutes. Already, there were hundreds of cars parked in the lots. Dozens of teenagers hung around, laughing, chasing each other, and kissing.

　"Kayla?" Benny's eyes were locked on me; he was already outside of Luke's car, but I wouldn't budge.

　"This place is huge." My voice came out incredibly small.

　Benny laughed, shaking his head. "It's okay, babe. I'll be there the entire time. Even if we don't have some classes together, I'll meet you there. We have ten minutes between each class."

　My eyebrows rose. "Really?"

　"Really," he confirmed, grabbing onto my hand. "So come on. We have to go get your schedule."

　"Luke!"

　Benny and I both snapped our heads to the side – Skylar had just jumped into Luke's arms. Elizabeth immediately crossed my mind. I wonder if Benny knows about their kiss. . . .

　"I thought they were still fighting," Benny muttered.

　I shrugged, finally letting him pull me out of the car. He closed the door behind me, and after I slid one strap of my backpack on, he threw his arm around my shoulders.

　"Let's go," he said, smiling down at me. "I'll show you to your locker, too."

　The inside was even bigger than I had expected. Three stories high, filled with students, all strangers. . . .

　The office was located at the front of the school, so it was easy to find. I told the woman at the desk my name, and without a word, she handed me a piece of paper, which contained my classes and their information, the times and my locker number and combination.

　"Locker number four hundred and twenty-three," I announced, glancing at Benny as we continued down the hall.

　"Are you serious?" He grinned. "My locker is close to yours. Four hundred thirty."

　"How do you even know where everything is?" I inquired, brows furrowed. "You're a freshman too. You should be as new to this as I am."

　He shrugged. "Elizabeth has been going here for a while, and she gave me a tour every year. And last year, before the end of the school year, I got to come and tour the school with my middle school."

　"Do you know how to use a locker?" I asked. "'Cause I don't."

　Benny laughed. "Yes, I do. What, they don't have lockers in Tennessee?"

　"Where I went to school, we didn't really need them," I explained. "There were lockers in the high school, but I never got to go, so. . . ."

　"Well, I've been using them since the fifth grade," he responded. "You're in good hands."

　"I know," I giggled.

　As we walked, I struggled to remember everything. Meanwhile, Benny studied my schedule and then pulled his own out out of his pocket.

　"We have all but two classes together," he informed me with a grin. "I didn't take Creative Writing, and we don't have History together."

　My eyes widened in surprise. "Seriously? That's perfect!"

　He laughed. "Yeah. Well, my mom is friends with some of the staff here. I had her ask if they could put us in some of the same classes so I could help you get around. I'm surprised they did it."

　"Remind me to thank Lynn when we get back home," I said.

　Throughout the remaining time, I was shown to my locker, how to use it, and thrown curious looks by a lot of the students. They stared at me as if I had two heads – I heard one girl practically shriek, "Who is she? Why is she with Benny Rodriguez? Why are they holding hands?"

　Frankly, the remarks only made me laugh. Benny didn't even seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't say anything.

　Eventually, the bell rang, signaling that we had five minutes to get to class. Fortunately, Benny and I had French I together. The classroom was located on the first floor, too, so it was easy to find.

　Once inside the classroom, I felt a sudden sense of home. The room smelled of cinnamon, reminding me of the winter holidays – Christmas. I breathed in heavily, suppressing a smile.

　The only thing that kept me from freezing up and backing out was Benny's fingers entwined with mine. The teacher was not present, and the room slowly filled.

　"Better claim our seats while we can," Benny whispered into my ear, tightening his grip on my hand. "You okay?"

　I nodded, an honest gesture. "So far."

　French I passed by like a breeze, and I left the room with a supply list, a familiar sense of home and a smile. The teacher, Mrs. Scooter, was extremely friendly, welcoming, and funny. Already, I had a nice start to the day – and the best part was, Bertram and DeNunez both took French with Benny and me, so we all had first period together.

　Next came Health, with only Benny and Bertram. Third, English. Fourth, History – thankfully, DeNunez shared that class with me, so I wasn't alone.

　On the way to Physical Science, things got a bit interesting. As Benny and I walked the halls, I heard a group of girly laughs – they were clearly forced, because it was quite obvious how cute they tried to sound. However, I didn't think anything of it, other than the fact that they were most likely preps.

　Benny did seem to care, though. His hand found mine, and the sudden tightenness alarmed me. Upon glancing up at him, I found that his lips were pursed together and jaws clenched.

　"Hey," I mumbled, "what's – "

　Before I could finish, I heard one of the girls behind us say, "Nice outfit."

　I didn't believe she was speaking to me, but just to be sure, I looked back. Realization washed over me, and I pressed my lips together. She was staring right at me, a smug look on her face, as if she was daring me to say something smart.

　"Thanks," I finally responded, casting her a bright smile before turning my head back.

　"Don't – " Benny whispered, but he was cut off as well. He remembered the recent events at the pool, in which she made Benny drop our drinks and I almost fought her.

　"You got a motorcycle to go with that jacket?" Hannah snickered.

　"One day," I called over my shoulder, continuing on with Benny. "Why? Wanna go for a ride?"

　Hannah scoffed, and her friends laughed. "Uh, yeah, no, thanks. I'll pass."

　A smirk curved the edge of my lips upward, and I looked back at Hannah. "What? Can't handle the risk of falling and skidding that pretty little face on the cement? That's too bad."

　"Makayla," Benny scolded, squeezing my hand. Then he added in a whisper, "No fighting."

　"You know, you've got a big mouth for a new girl," Hannah said, her tone turning sour. "You think you run the place, don't you?"

　"No, but I know my place," I returned, flashing her another smile, still walking casually. "I wonder if you can guess it. Here's a hint . . . I don't take anyone's shit. I try to be nice, but don't push me."

　Hannah rolled her eyes and puckered her lips. "And I have one hint for you. I'm still not scared of you."

　"Congratulations," I beamed. "Did you want a cookie?"

　"From you? Definitely not."

　"Hannah, stop," a new voice spoke. Jordan Phillips.

　I stole a quick glance behind myself. Jordan had just caught up with the group of girls, who had also caught up with me. His eyes were on me, though, so I quickly turned my head. And, as angry as she was, Hannah didn't say another word.

　Unfortunately, Hannah had Physical Science with me and Benny – but so did Jordan, and while he was around, she only went as far as glaring at me. Finally, lunch rolled around.

　Unsurprisingly, the pizza was utterly horrible – way too greasy. The fries, however, were tasty, so I ate those. DeNunez and Bertram practically fought over my pizza. Benny seemed lost in thought.

　"I remember that," Bertram had been laughing, though I paid next to no attention. "That was great. Did you see the look on her face? And I always catch her staring at Kayla. She won't be letting go of that for a while."

　DeNunez chuckled. "That's one of the reasons I love her so much. She isn't scared of anything. She's put so many people in their places. I wish I could've seen her punch Phillips."

　Had Benny been paying the slightest bit of attention to any of us, I would have engaged in the conversation. But his eyes wandered elsewhere, as if in search of someone.

　Suddenly, he perked up a bit. "Liz!" he shouted, catching the boys' attention momentarily.

　My eyes averted from Benny, and sure enough, Elizabeth had just entered the cafeteria. The bags under her eyes were suddenly noticeable, and that confused me – she had a day-time job, and school had only just begun.

　In moments, Elizabeth settled down beside me. Instantly, she propped her elbows onto the table and held her face in her hands. A frown formed on my face.

　"What's wrong?" I asked, worry lacing my voice.

　"I'm so tired," she groaned. "I don't see why they can't give me my papers and let me go home. It's not like we're doing anything, or like they're going to tell me something I haven't already been told. I'm sick of school already."

　I rolled my eyes. "I feel you. Did you get any sleep, though? You look worn out."

　Elizabeth shook her head, peeking at me. "None. I . . . had a lot on my mind. And I mean a lot."

　"Yeah, I noticed you seemed a little off this morning," Benny voiced. "I've been kind of worried."

　She waved her little brother off. "I'm fine."

　Part of me wondered what was keeping her so worried all the time, in need of a friend. The other part of me couldn't help but to mentally bring up the fact that she and my brother had kissed the previous night – and what if that had kept her up?

　Lunch passed by quickly, and the final three classes blurred by as well. My final class was Creative Writing, which I didn't share with anyone I knew. Fortunately, the class wasn't very big, and I would have been willing to bet that none of my classmates were snobs.

　The teacher, Mr. Jackson, was a laid-back man. He was young, too – probably in his mid- to late-twenties. Even still, he had something for us to do, which I wasn't excited about.

　"Today, I'm sure you have all done, well, nothing," he spoke, standing in front of the pure white board. "My name is Carl, but you can call me Mr. Jackson.

　"Today, I need one thing from each of you. In return for something about me, I want you all to tell me something about you. But not just anything . . . For example, I will tell you that my favorite color is red. In response, I want you to tell me your favorite color. That way we can get to know each other.

　"So, please get out a piece of paper and a pencil. The first thing I want you to write down is your name, and then I want you to tell me what your favorite color is. Any questions?"

　When no one spoke, he smiled crookedly. He nodded and leaned against the board. Everyone seemed to be in a bit of a daze. He was quite handsome, but I seemed to be the only girl who could function correctly and on time. The others just stared at him with stars in their eyes.

　I found that I enjoyed myself when I learned a new piece of information about my teacher, and then returned something about myself – on paper, of course. But the class flew by when I had fun. Before I knew it, the final bell rang.

　Mr. Jackson said his goodbyes, and I stood to my feet quickly. Due to the girls' dazed expressions and the fact that I sat closest to the door, I was the first to hand Mr. Jackson my paper. He smiled warmly at me, and I returned the gesture.

　To my surprise, before I could even make it two steps outside of the classroom, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to come face to face with a girl – the one who sat a few seats behind me.

　I hadn't paid attention before, but I couldn't help but to realize how pretty she was. Despite the fact that she wore no visible makeup, with her brown hair pulled into a bun, she looked stunning. Behind her glasses, her eyes were emerald green, with a bit of a glow. Her features were flawless, but in no way did she strike me as the conceited type.

　"Uh, hi," she spoke, her voice soft, barely audible. "You're new here, right?"

　"Yeah," I confirmed, adjusting the strap of my backpack further onto my shoulder. "I came here from Tennessee. My name's Makayla."

　A small smile grew on her lips. "I sort of already knew that. You're the talk of the school – well, mostly for the freshmen."

　"Really?" I frowned. "Why? You'd think that in a school this big, no one would really care about the new girl. . . ."

　"Not exactly because you're new," she explained, "but because of you and . . . well, Benny Rodriguez."

　Oh, God. Here we go.

　"What about us?" I struggled to keep the annoyance from my voice.

　The girl seemed to notice my unease, and immediately looked down. "I – I don't know . . . It's just that people are surprised. He's never shown any interest for other girls. I'm sorry."

　"Sorry for what?" I asked, suddenly feeling bad . . . Had the annoyance shown through anyway?

　"Just . . . Never mind," she sighed. "My name is Leah. Um, welcome to the Valley."

　"Thank you," I smiled, in hopes that she would catch the reassurance.

　"No problem. Um . . . do you ride the bus?" she inquired.

　"No, my brother is gonna be driving me," I answered. "Speaking of . . . I should probably go find him. It was nice to meet you."

　For the first time, Leah's smile reached her eyes. "You too. See you on Monday."

　Benny found me shortly after Leah and I parted ways. Luke gave us a ride home, but he left immediately to hang out with Skylar. He barely spoke to either of us.

　Inside my room, the air was much cooler than the scorching sun outside. Benny opened the door for me, and I heaved a great sigh as I practically lunged for my bed.

　"I'm so tired," I groaned, my words slightly muffled by the pillow.

　Benny chuckled lightly, setting his backpack down to sit beside me. A moment later, I felt his hand on the back of my head. I moved my head only slightly to breathe properly, and Benny's fingers threaded through my hair.

　"Take a nap," he said. "You don't have to get back up tomorrow. Or the weekend after. So you might as well take advantage of it while you can."

　"Just keep doing that," I yawned, closing my heavy eyes. The lack of sleep had finally caught up to me.

　Despite my foggy mind, I couldn't help but to think of the threat again. I wanted so badly to tell Benny about it, but what was the point? He couldn't do anything about it. No one could, really.

　So, I averted my mind to another event – Benny told me he loved me. Throughout the day, even during random moments, a burst of warmth spread through me, and I was freshly reminded all over again. To others, it might have seemed simple. And even if he didn't mean it . . . to know that he said it made me feel amazing.

　"How was Creative Writing?" Benny asked, interrupting my thoughts.

　"Um, it was fun," I answered truthfully. "The teacher is really cool. This girl named Leah stopped me and talked to me today. Said I'm 'the talk of the school' for the freshmen. Did you know that?"

　I opened one eye to glance at Benny. A tiny smile curved his lips upward, and he said, "Kind of. A lot of my friends have asked about you."

　"Why?" I muttered, rolling my eyes.

　"Apparently, they can't believe that I have a girlfriend," he explained. "You know – since all I care about is baseball. At least, that's what they think. If they'd bothered to actually talk to me during the summer, they would have known."

　"Meanwhile, I'm sure all of my friends in Tennessee know about you," I chuckled, closing my eyes again. "Man, I miss them."

　"I can't wait to meet them."

　"You plan to?"

　"Oh, yeah," he confirmed; I could hear the smirk in his voice. "One day, we can go to Tennessee together. You can show me everything, tell me all of the stories you can think of . . . I wanna know everything."

　"Why?" I grinned, my eyes fluttering open once again.

　He met my eyes, and suddenly, I felt glued to the spot. A certain serenity consumed me, just looking into his eyes, even from the angle I was at. He was so unbelievably handsome, so sweet, and I couldn't comprehend how he was mine.

　"Because I want to know everything that makes you happy," he admitted, his voice becoming lighter. His cheeks began to pinken. "I want to make you happy. And it makes me feel happy to know you so well."

　"How so?" I laughed, forcing back a wild grin. I placed one hand on my cheek, as it had begun to burn.

　"I feel lucky," he continued with a shrug. Then he bent down to press a warm kiss to my forehead. "You're the most amazing girl I know."

　Although I had been used to Benny saying those things, he never failed to amaze me. We hadn't even been together for two months, but I felt as though it had been years – and he still managed to make me feel like a little girl, as though I had just had my first kiss.

　Benny chuckled, then pressed another kiss to my forehead. "And I love you."

　Those words were enough to send a burst of butterflies through my stomach. I sat up slowly, rising to face Benny. He looked down at his lap, a sheepish air about him.

　I brushed my finger against his smooth cheek, and then pulled his face up. I leaned toward him, gently pressing my lips against his.

　"And I love you," I returned, a smile on my face – naturally.

　Though I tried not to show it, I was relieved. If Benny had regretted his confession the night before, if he had not really meant it, he wouldn't have said it again. At least, I hoped.

　And I knew I was insecure, that I didn't trust boys on account of previous relationships, but somehow, I knew that Benny probably wasn't lying. He was so different than all of the others, truly. Contrary to my exes, he was not a player . . . He wasn't just looking for a play toy, for sex, or just with me out of boredom. That much I knew.

　"I really do," I added in a whisper, just as Benny's eyes met mine again. "Thank you."

　"For what?"

　"For being different than the other guys." My eyes locked with his; even if I'd wanted to look away, I just couldn't seem to force myself to do it. "And I know it hasn't been long, but I know you, too. You already make me happy."

　Rather than kissing me again, his arms looped around my waist. With ease, he pulled me onto his lap. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

　Suddenly, I was aware of his hands. One arm was wrapped all the way around my lower back, his hand gripping the left side of my waist. His other arm rose higher, and his hand rested on the back of my head.

　Even after countless hugs and kisses, to know that his hands were on me made me feel wonderful. Perhaps the fact that he told me he loved me refreshened me, so that everything he did felt familiar but gave me feelings as if they were new. Not that I minded. . . .

　I wanted to tell him how he made me feel like a little girl again, but the moment was too peaceful. As I ran my fingers through his soft hair, I pressed my lips to his shoulder. Breathed in his delicious scent. Fought the urge to tell him I loved him over and over and over again, until I was out of breath. Because I did . . . I knew I did.

　"That's all I want in the world," he whispered. "Your happiness."

♡

For such a long chapter, I'm sorry that it isn't better, more interesting. But I can say that, for better or worse, this story will be full of drama. I'm excited to start this.

Question: Do you guys mind long chapters? This one has nearly 5,000 words, and I know that some don't particularly like that. I know that it can be a bit frustrating. So how do you guys want it?

Comment, vote, tell me your thoughts! And always . . .

Stay gold.

September 3, 2016