I woke up this morning believing it was going to be another normal day. I've never been more wrong in my entire life...I was driving down the road when I turned on the radio trying to find some good easygoing music to take my mind off other things going on right now, I expected to hear Rihanna or Beyoncé...I never excepted to hear that you were gone being announced over the radio. I never imagined you taking your last breath in my life time, you were immortal to me. You should be here. This doesn't make any sense. How did this happen to you? My heart is breaking and my mind is racing at a million miles a minute, I don't understand this. I'm going through every emotion at once, I can't even think straight. I'm shaking, I can't breath. My heart is broken, my friend is gone...I pray I wake up tomorrow and this is all a nightmare. I don't know if I can go a day without you being in this world, the world needs you. Don't let this be real. God let this be a nightmare. Don't let Prince slip away that easily.

I was searching through my old phone the other day and I found that typed in my notes, April 21st, 2016. I wasn't making any sense, but I was writing what I was feeling in that moment. I had to let it out, I couldn't just sit there and cry, I needed to put what I was feeling into words, even if it made no sense. I forgot I even wrote that until the other day when I found it and I began to experience the heartbreak all over again, as if it was the first time. I suddenly had the same feeling in my chest as I did when I first heard it coming over the radio. My heart fell straight into my stomach, I was dizzy, confused. I had to pull over and without any warning, I was crying. Some people may find this dramatic, over the top but anyone whose ever known Prince knows that he wasn't a stranger to you. He was like a friend, just one you've never met. I can't express what he meant to me, and today for some reason it's been a lot harder than the last few years. I'm freshly broken again, I suppose because in these times, I seek his guidance again. I seek his wisdom and presence. I can't listen to his music today, I just can't. I usually will listen to Purple Rain (I only listen to it on April 21st anymore anyway) but I just can't today. I want to remember Prince as I did when he was still here, I don't want to remember his passing or the heartache that followed.

Prince, thank you for being you. I hope you are standing at Yahs side in glory, praising him for eternity. I hope heaven is all you ever hoped for and more. I can't wait to join you one day, until then, thank you for blessing us. Thank you for being the beautiful one.