"One shot, two shots."

Taehyung laughed at his misery and continued to drink all the contents of the liquor that he is holding. He can taste the bitterness as he gulps down each drop of it.

Just like him when he realized how wrong he is and how he is such a horrible person who ruined Seokjin - the most pure and innocent person he has ever known. He has turned him into someone he is not and he broke their marriage.

He knows NOBODY understand what he feels. He is and will always be the bad guy. He is one after all, right? He is soulless, heartless and merciless. He doesn't deserve a second chance at all. He deserved to die, rot in hell and come back to life just to die again.

He doesn't know what to do or whom to say what he feels. He doesn't know who to tell his burdens, his fears and regrets. All he has was himself because if he tries to tell it to someone he would get all the blame. It's his fault and he has no right to feel pain he should enjoy every bit of it.

But what can he do? He is human too. He feels lots of things and one of them is pain. He is hurting because he is regretting all actions he made and being far away from his husband and son is already hell for him.

Life turned 180° after they left him. He tried to be okay but he just can't. He wanted to be the same old Taehyung who would work and go home sleep and repeat.

But what's worst is that Everytime he enters his house he is imagining that Seokjin is already home with Taehyun greeting him with a smile. He would come close to him and give him a hug but when he will touch them, they will vanish into thin air and that's when he knows that he is dreaming. That Seokjin won't go home to him anytime soon.

Visiting them and peeking at Seokjin from a distance is not enough anymore but when he tries to make a conversation, Seokjin would talk to him in full anger and wrath.

He closed his eyes and he can hear every word that Seokjin said to him months ago.

"I hope it's Namjoon who is the father of my son not you! You're a horrible person Taehyung!"

"Namjoon didn't failed to make me feel good, satisfied and wanted unlike you Taehyung."

"I don't know if our marriage is to be saved. This seems hopeless."

Seokjin said before that he wanted them to work but Taehyung guessed he is changing his mind. Seokjin is slowly seeing Namjoon as the best choice and not him.

He is the best choice after all.

"Kim Taehyung is an asshole and he doesn't deserve the love of anyone, right? Right my friend?"

He talked to the bottle of vodka and when he saw his reflection in it, he can slowly see the face of Seokjin looking at him angrily and mocking him.

"Stop!"

He threw the bottle and it fell into pieces. He looked over his living room and saw how different it was since they left.

It has no life anymore. It was so dark and lonely. Everything is messy and cluttered.

Maybe it was because of too much alcohol that he felt himself getting dizzy and he just decided to close his eyes and doze off to sleep dreaming of the day that him and Seokjin would be just like before when everything was just simple and him not making the gravest mistake of his life.

====

"Wake up, Taehyung. You need to eat."

Taehyung heard a voice calling out to him.

"Tae? Are you awake now?"

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the person speaking.

"Tae, come on wake-up."

Seokjin.

He closed his eyes again. It's a dream again. He knows. Seokjin won't ever care for him again. He is just a product of his imagination just like what happens to him every single day.

He wished he was true though but he knows he doesn't deserve not a bit of good things in this world.