"Of course, you silly."

He can't deal with this. His heart can't take it. His heart clenched and his tears are at the brink of his eyes. Thoughts of him not being enough, that he is ugly, and that Yoongi will never see him as a lover is filling up his thoughts.

Yoongi was still looking at him and the more he stare into those eyes, the more he can't contain his emotions. He knew he needed to go, he needs to leave for a while. He doesn't want his tears to be seen by Yoongi. He doesn't want him to get a hint of how he feels.

Yoongi, who noticed the slight disturbance on Hoseok's face got worried. He knotted his forehead and finally asked him what's wrong.

"Nothing. I'm okay. I just can't sleep. Maybe it's because of tireness." Hoseok said.

Dumb as it may sound, he won't just leave. He will stay. He knows that leaving him would cause his heart a greater pain. His heart would shatter, and be broken into pieces. He will just numb himself of the hurting and the ache, at the very least he get to see and be with Yoongi.

"I will not go to work tomorrow. I will make it up to you. Let's go somewhere." He said. Yoongi's eyes suddenly lit up and his face showed his gummy smile. "I know! Let's go to your favorite park. The one we went to on your last birthday. You said you like it there because it gives you peace. I'll take you there tomorrow and we'll eat till our hearts content. How does that sound?"

After Yoongi said that, Hoseok realized one thing. If he leave, he'll miss this. He won't get the chance to be this close to him again. He won't be able to hold him like this again. And that's when it hit him he was into him way too deep. Deeper than what he expected it to be. He is ready to trade the world for Min Fucking Yoongi.

"I would love that." Hoseok whispered and inched closer to Yoongi. He wants to hide his face from him and not to show him any hint of sadness. He doesn't want Yoongi to worry for him. It makes him fall for him even more.

Yoongi once more hugged him and pressed their bodies closer. Hoseok can feel Yoongi's heartbeat and it's music to his ears.

How I wish I'm the one your heart sings for. Hoseok thought to himself.

"Do you want to go to the arcade? Or go to shopping? Do you want me to cook for you? Or let's go out of the country and go to New Zealand? Tell me what you want, we'll do each one of them. It's holiday no work, I just remembered! We can bond again!"

Hoseok chuckled and shook his head. He wants to be greedy for once but he is holding himself back. Yoongi is his friend and nothing more than that. Even if a lump formed on his throat and his voice shaky, he still managed to speak with a smile on his face and a fame joy laced his voice.

"I don't think you can leave Seokjin for that long. Don't mind me. I'm okay. I won't go anywhere, not unless you want me to."

Yoongi was stoned in place. Maybe realization hit him. Hoseok gulped down the bitter feeling and smiled oh so wide. If he can audition for the Oscars he's sure he'd win effortlessly with how he covers up himself beside Yoongi.

"See, I told you. We're not like how we used to before. You can't just drag me anywhere anymore. You have other things to put first. I'm not the first place anymore, Yoongi. I got dethroned." He faked a laugh even though he can hear his own heart breaking.

"I'm not your favorite anymore." He laughed once more. But after a fragment of a second he made a serious face.

"I don't know what happened to you but you're messing with a married man. He is happy with Mr. Kim and their son. Yet, you're there head over heels for him. You even stalked him up to the point that you look like a crazy person. It's not you. You're not like that. Do you love him that much to be that low?"

Yoongi looked at him straight to his eyes. There is that emotion he can't bame but he's very familiar with. He avoided Yoongi's eyes and turned his back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Don't mind me sorry again."

Yoongi just continue to look at the figure of Hoseok's back and mumbled, "You're still my favorite person, Hobi."

Hoseok just closed his eyes and pretended not to hear. Yoongi didn't even spoke after that and he had never wished for morning to come this fast in his entire life.

===

The next Day ...

"We're not continuing our plan aren't we?" Hoseok said not expecting anything good to go that day. He keeps telling himself that he's not Yoongi's top priority so he couldn't expect anything from him.

"I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe no. I don't know what time I'll be back. I'll text you when I finish meeting up this client of mine."

He sighed. He knew this is coming but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt as well.

"I see. Don't bother thinking about it. I'm okay. Don't come at all. I will just go to my apartment and sleep."

Yoongi nodded.

"Okay."

They both left Yoongi's house but unlike what Hoseok said, he didn't went to his home but went to the park thet Yoongi was talking about. From afar, he can see his greatest rival, he is happily playing with his son. Taehyung was just looking at them with fondness in his eyes and Hoseok felt envious.

"Maybe that's why he isn't with me. He's here watching Seokjin." He said to himself. He looked around and got no trace of Yoongi.

He just kept his eyes on Jin and saw just how happy he is with his husband and his son. Though he doesn't admit it, he feels pity towards him. At some point he wished to be Seokjin. To have Yoongi's heart and forever cherish it. But it's reality, no such thing.

A man approached them. He saw Taehyung clenching his fist and aimed at the man but the man said something that made them calmed down. They talked for some moments and the guy left and so is Seokjin and Taehyung.

He looked up the scarlet sky and enjoyed the warm breeze that the morning brings. Hoseok saw a man approached him. It was the same man that talked to Seokjin awhile ago.

"Uhm, hi. Can I sit beside you?" The dimpled man said.

"Okay." He answered. He moved to the side to give the man more space. When he was seated, he extended his hand to shake.

"I'm Namjoon. Kim Namjoon." He showed his smile to Hoseok once again. His smile reminded Hoseok of Spring. He looked like a new beginning.

"Jung Hoseok." He smiled back.

"Why are you alone in this fine morning? You should be enjoying the day and smile!"

Namjoon talked and talked. Hoseok isn't answering him at all but his ears are listening.

"Do you know that the Octopus has eight hearts? Or that oil can't mix with water ... Oh wait that's common sense!"

Hoseok laughed a little. "You're smart. I am not. I don't know what to tell you."

On that bench that particular day, Hoseok found a friend in Namjoon. Time flew by quick and it's already lunch time.

"It's lunch time." Namjoon said while looking at his watch. "Come on, let's eat. My treat!"

Namjoon unconsciously held Hoseok's hand and oulled him to stand up. But before he can drag him away somebody cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Hoseok saw Yoongi standing behind them with a box of donuts in hand.

"Hoseok is going with me." Yoongi said and walked over to their direction to grab Hoseok's hand and successfully pulling him to his side.

"O-kay." Namjoon said and waved to Hoseok. "I guess I'll go now. See you around!"

Hoseok smiled apologetically and waved back. "Bye."

Yoongi furrowed his brows and dragged Hoseok to his car parked nearby. He forcefully clised tge door when Hoseok came in and he sat on the driver's seat. His hands clutching on the steering wheel and his gaze set in front of him without sparing Hoseok a glance.

"Who's that?"

"Namjoon. He became my friend." Hoseok said truthfully. Yoongi just clenched his jaw.

"I thought you're going to your apartment?" Yoongi asked once more.

"I changed my mind." Hoseok said in a matter of fact tone. He doesn't see the point of this petty argument.

"Are you pissed that Jin is so sweet with Taehyung and you didn't get the chance to get close to him? If it's the reason why you're like that, I suggest you to stop it. It makes no sense. Don't pour your frustrations on me."

"You don't understand! And this is not an argument. Okay" Yoongi said.

Hoseok sighed. "I know. And it sucks not being close to the man you love. But hey, at least he's happy. You don't need to worry."

"I hope I can tell you what I feel so you won't speak nonsense." Yoongi chuckled dryly.

"Just drive. Drive fast. Just don't let me die. I'm sleepy. Let's stop talking this nonsense." Hoseok said.

"I will never let you die. Never!" Yoongi said with great conviction and drove away.

Never did he know he killed Hoseok's heart little by little edging him close to dying.

Double update!! Last for SOPE. We'll see TaeJin next. 🥰💜