"Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Jordan?" I asked, for what I can sincerely tell you, was the thousandth time.

"You're a size 8, right?" Eliza asked, basically ignoring my last question, like she had been doing all night

"Eliza, stop ignoring me" I demanded

"I don't think you're going to get any black bridesmaids dresses here, let's go to the new store that opened last month" she commented, refusing to look me in the eyes, as her fingers stroked the multiple black dresses on the rack in front of her.

For the past two days, I had been pressuring Eliza to tell me what had happened between her and Jordan. They had clearly fought, about what I had no idea, but it wasn't a big deal right? I mean, they fought all the time. They always made up, and they were back in love. Their fights had never lasted long, and usually Eliza would tell me every excruciating detail about their lovers spat.

This time was different.

Eliza had barely eaten anything over the past two days, she barely spoke and she would cry herself to sleep. She would go to bed early, before dinner and I had no idea how to deal with it.

I always dealt with her problems.

And she dealt with mine.

That's how we worked. That's why we were best friends.

It was hard to believe that what ever happened to Jordan and Eliza was that serious. They were everything, as cheesy as it sounded, they were my relationship goals. Nobody had loved her like he had, and I was sure it was the same for him.

I lightly gripped both her arms, turning her to face me. Looking into her eyes I could see the shadow of a tear, down her pale face. I had spent the entire day with her and I hadn't even realised that she was so pale, or that she had been hurting so much. "What happened between you and Jordan?" I asked once again, quietly this time.

She used her sleeve to swipe her cheek, before sniffing slightly "I broke up with him yesterday"

"Wait what?" I asked. Jordan and Eliza fought all the time, but they had never...broke up.

How serious was this fight?

"Yeah" she muttered, pulling the dresses from the rack and inspecting them before scrunching her nose and placing them back.

"Why?" I questioned, and yes I realised that I was pushing her for the answers and that I should have just left her alone but she told me everything. Why not this?

"Juliette please" She whispered, looking me in the eyes, silently begging me to stop. And I did. The entire time, she had been saying the same thing 'Juliette no' or 'Juliette stop' or just straight up ignoring me. But the way she had said it, the way she had pleaded me to drop the subject made my veins freeze up.

This was serious.

"So um, another store?" I asked, changing the subject, knowing that she really wanted me to shut up about Jordan.

"Yeah, I can't seem to find any black bridesmaid dresses here" She smiled, though it didn't fully reach her eyes. She placed all the dresses that rested on her arm and placed it back on the racks before she headed towards Forever 21

I followed her there, and as soon as she entered she found a sales assistant dressed in all black with a tag around her neck. "Do you sell any black bridesmaid dresses?" She asked the sales assistant, who was named Jane.

Jane bit her lip for a lip, thinking about what to say before she spoke "I don't think we do black bridesmaid dresses, black's not a traditional colour for weddings, we have lots of pastels, though" She answered smiling at us

"Thank you" Eliza muttered before looking at me

"No" I answered straight away. I knew that she was going to do, she was going to attempt to make me wear a colour other than black.

"I didn't even say anything!" She replied, almost automatically

"You were going to" I muttered

"Come on" she pleaded "You will look so good in another colour!"

"Eliza no" I replied my tone as serious as ever. "I don't want to"

"Juliette" Eliza said looking up at me, pouting slightly as her hands took mine "please?"

"Eliza" I replied, my teeth gritted together "I don't want to"

"Why not?" She asked in exasperation

"You know why" I felt my nose become tingly, and tears pooled in my eyes, I had to bite my lip to stop crying.

"Your parents" Eliza began slowly, stopping when she heard me take in a sharp breath "wouldn't want you to mourn forever"

"I just-" I began, feeling my voice tremble "I feel like I'm betraying them, like I'm moving on"

"You're not betraying them by moving on Juliette" Her forehead creased as she spoke sympathetically. "You know, as cliché as it sounds, they would want you to move on"

"Eliza-"

"Juliette. This one time. Please. Your mom wouldn't want you to go to her sister's daughter's wedding wearing funeral clothes" She begged

"Will this make you happy?" I asked, sighing

"Yes!" She grinned, and this time, for the first time in two days, the smile reached her eyes.

"Fine" I sighed

"Yay!" She squealed gripping my hands and pulling me up to the wedding department. We basically ran up the escalators, which left me panting considering just the thought of any exercise basically gave me anxiety. I stopped near the escalator, with my hand on my knees, breathing really hard as my heart began racing.

I fucking hate exercise.

"Come on Juliette!" Eliza squealed

"You weren't this energetic when we were shopping for black clothes" I groaned

"Because black is boring!" She grinned.

"Bitch" I muttered

"Shut up!" She replied "I'm excited because now you get to look like all the other bridesmaids."

All the other bridesmaids were wearing white, along with Eliza. I would have been the only person in a dress who wore black and Isla would have thrown a bitch fit. Eliza and I were a little surprised when Isla said that the bridesmaids were wearing white, considering usually she wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same colour as anyone else on a normal day, let alone her wedding day. But everything was cleared up when we found out that she would be wearing pink on her wedding day.

And as strange as wearing pink at your wedding sounded, it made sense considering it was Isla's favourite colour.

In my opinion, however, I wouldn't be depressed if the colour pink disappeared from existence.

"How about this one?" Eliza's voiced echoed around the small room. My head snapped towards her direction to see her holding a small white minidress, it was strapless and probably reached around mid thigh.

I shook my head

"What?" She asked "What's wrong with it?"

"It's pretty short" I replied

"It's mid thigh" She replied in a deadpan voice

"I don't really like dresses that come up to mid thigh" I shrugged

"Okay fine" She groaned, exaggerating it, though I could see a small smile

Another few minutes went by, and I was pretty much getting sick of so many colours before Eliza held up another dress. This dress was longer, looked as if it were knee length. But it dipped low near the neck area.

I was never really confident, pretty much always wearing modest clothing. Most of my dresses barely showed my collar bones, and as nun-ish as it sounded, I was pretty uncomfortable with low necked tops and dresses. I shook my head once again.

"How about you describe a dress to me, instead of flat out refusing each dress I hold up?" Eliza suggested

I paused for a minute thinking about a dress that I would be happy with. I looked up at Eliza who leaned on one hip, looking at me expectantly. "A white dress, that isn't too short, doesn't have an extremely low neck and um" I paused knowing Eliza wouldn't agree with what I said next. "With sleeves" I muttered

She raised an eyebrow. "Sleeves?" She asked "on a bridesmaid's dress? Come on Juliette we want to make you sexy and do-able" She smirked

"The claustrophobia kinda prevents the 'do-able' bit" I smiled, attempting to distract her from the mention of the sleeves

"You're such a nun! Why don't you want a sleeveless dress?" Eliza asked me

"No reason" I answered too quickly.

"Juliette?" Eliza asked, lifting up her eyebrow. "Come to think about it, I've never seen you wear sleeveless anything. Not even in summer, not even at home. What's wrong?" She asked, and I felt my heart pattering against my chest.

Everything was wrong.

She couldn't know.

"Nothing" I replied, in a firmer tone.

"Fine" she muttered, in a tone that clearly showed that she would find out sooner or later.

I was hoping for never.

We continued searching for the dress, in silence this time, mostly because Eliza refused to speak to me. I found it extremely unfair that Eliza refused to tell me about why her and Jordan broke up but basically ignored me when I didn't tell her about why I only wore long sleeves. It's so hypocritical for her to think that I should tell her everything, but she can hide things from me.

"I think I found one" Eliza said after a few more minutes in silence. I turned to look at her but what I had seen was a dress in place of her face. The dress was an ivory or white dress. It had two parts, the under part was a plain white dress that was strapless and came mid thigh, the over part of the dress was white lace, with long lace arms. The skirt of the dress started mid thigh at the front but dipped lower at the back. Around the neck was a beaded line. It was beautiful.

"It's a little short" I muttered, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

At first didn't understand why all the bridesmaids had to wear short dresses, and as soon as aunt Jen claimed that Isla demanded we all wear short dresses, Eliza and I understood. Isla had this thing about being the only one. Being the unique one. And considering Isla was wearing a long wedding a dress, it meant that nobody in the hall could wear a floor length dress because it would be too much like hers. She had also demanded that nobody wear pink or gold.

"But it's so gorgeous" Eliza answered "Come on Juliette, show a little leg" she smiled

Before I could refuse, or answer at all, a sales assistant was at our side. "That's dress would go so well with your black hair" She said as I refrained myself from rolling my eyes. Sales assistances basically say anything to get you to buy something.

"It really would" Eliza added

I groaned slightly, grabbing it before walking into the changing rooms, muttering profanities under my breath. The dress was gorgeous but I really wasn't comfortable showing too much of my legs, the under part of the dress covered most of my cleavage, only leaving the vert top of my chest on show, which was the covered by the lace. The lace sleeves covered my entire arms, and the white scars on my wrist could only be seen if you looked extremely closely, which wasn't going to happen.

I looked down at my worn out red converses and smiled, there was no way in hell I was wearing heels.

"Hurry up!" She demanded as I rolled my eyes. She's so impatient.

I stepped out of the changing room, with my hand in my mouth as I chewed on my nails. I didn't know how I looked and I didn't even know if light colours suited me or not.

"You look amazing!" Eliza squealed "I almost forgot what you looked like in light clothing!"

I sighed, running my hand down the skirt of the dress, the end of the skirt basically stopped at my fingertips.

"You're legs are so fucking hot!" She continued "you should wear dresses more often"

I snorted "Like that's going to happen"

"Why the hell did you get the good genes?" She questioned playfully

I rolled my eyes at that. Eliza was by far prettier than me. She had the cliché blonde hair and blue eyes that complimented her facial features so much. She had a smile that basically meant boys fell at her feet. I had long black hair and generic brown eyes. Extremely un-special.

I knew that this dress would probably be the closest thing to my perfect dress so I decided to buy it which made Eliza extremely happy. But I was guessing that the reason Eliza was excited was because she could finally shop for herself.

It didn't take a long time for Eliza to find a dress considering all she was looking for was a short white dress as opposed to my pickiness.

She found a short white dress, it had a sweetheart neckline and it came up to mid thigh, it had a white bow around it and the skirt of the dress was poofy. The design of the dress was detailed and embroiled on which made it look super cute. When she tried it on she fell in love with it, refusing to try on anything else, which was okay with me considering it was almost 9pm and the shop was about to close.

Overall, today was a semi-successful day.

Written: 9/08/15
Posted: 01/11/15