"What do you want from me then?", I groan not being able to deal with them next to me. "We want you to not forget about us." "Oh yeah? Do you know how hard it is to lose your best friend? Both of them? Just right after your grandpa died? If you two were real right now, I would slap you", I hiss angrily so I cover my sadness with anger. 

"Yeah, so you don't miss us? You're just angry? You don't miss how we used to hang out, go to the cinema together or have pool parties?" "Shut up, Bryce", I snap trying to think about times when they've disappointed me but I'm barely searching for these in my memories. "You two are rapists you know. Why would I want to remember you", I add and I know that those words hurt myself. 

I would never talk about my friends in that way. But anger makes everything a lot easier. "You know what actually hurts about this statement, Els?", Monty replies chilled, "That's not you speaking. Our Ellie stayed with us, she remembered everything we've done together. She would rather suffer in pain than to forget about her friends and be angry."

Bryce, Justin and I stand by the lockers watching Monty talking to Jeff. "Is that vodka?", I ask Bryce as he takes out his bottle and he nods. "Yeah, why?" "Watch me", I reply and take a sip of his vodka knowing what an impact this would have on me after taking a pill. Last time when Jeff was talking to me, I was staring at him and fell into the garbage can so I need be brave enough to talk to him. 

"Hey, Monty", I grin patting his shoulder in a friendly way, "Bryce is looking for you, you know. And oh, hey Jeff. Didn't see you there." This is a bit too much, but well, the pills are speaking.. "Oh yeah, what did Bryce say?" "Just the usual stuff, you know. Party at his place, hot girls, pool, alcohol", I shrug, "Everything that you like. Hey, what are you talking about?" "You actually", Monty grins knowing it would freak me out. "Me? Good things I hope?" 

"I've heard you made it to the cheer team. Congrats", Jeff nods and smiles at me and let me tell you, his smile is just perfect. Is it getting hot in here? "Yeah, you just need a baseball player as your boyfriend." "I heard you wanted to be part of it since middle school", Jeff adds ignoring Monty's comment. "Just like she's in love since elementary school", Monty adds and I give him a serious look, "I have to go to over to Bryce and talk about girls, pool, alcohol, you know." 

"I hate you", I mumble. "I love you, too", he grins back and I face Jeff, suddenly feeling not brave at all. "He's told me that you like me since middle school. It was a bit obvious when you fell into the bin", Jeff smiles at me and I roll my eyes. "I didn't want to kill my best friend today", I sigh. 

"It's fine. I've liked you since kindergarden", Jeff chuckles instead and I look at him with big eyes. I remember that I didn't want to be so obvious anymore so I nod slowly. "Yeah, right. Looks like you might have to ask me to go on a date with you." "Looks like we can thank Monty after our date for helping us", Jeff chuckles and I smile.

"Can you two please do me a favor?", I ask the boys who still ignore my wish to leave me alone. "Depends on what it is, Els." "Can you please disappear? I promise to not forget about you but I can't think about you two right now. You've got no idea how much this pain is killing me inside." "Okay", Bryce sighs looking over to Monty, "Only for now. We'll see you again if you try to forget our names."

"Ellie?", Estela approaches me when I'm finally back at the party. "Yeah?" "Were Winston and Monty friends?" "Why do you ask about Winston?", I wonder knowing that Winston has planned something but I never cared too much about it. "I asked him if they were friends and he said they were acquaintances. What does that mean?" 

"Stela, Winston and Monty.. Monty was gay", I finally admit after checking that no one else could hear us. Estela looks at me shocked but I know that it only shocks her because she didn't assume anything. "How did I never notice something. He could have talked to me", she whispers and I pull her into a hug. "I only found out because I saw them by coincidence."

"Liz, hey", Diego stops me later on, "Is it true? About Monty?" "What are you talking about?" "Was he gay?" Holy shit, did Estela tell someone? No, she wouldn't. But how..? "I've asked Winston about their friendship as Monty's beaten him up." "He was, Diego", I nod hoping that he wouldn't tell anyone as Monty didn't want people to know about it. "It'll be our secret, I promise. I just.. I needed to know if it's true although I don't care about who he loved." "Sure, Diego."

"How's it going with Scott and you?", Jeff asks me as we sit at Rosie's for dinner, "Has he called you back finally?" "He hasn't talked to me since valentine's day. I thought about going to Columbia to visit the university without telling him. We still need to visit the university before going there." 

"Do you still want to do this?", he asks me skeptically. "Well, it's the best university that you were accepted to and a good alternative to Harvard. We shouldn't change our plans because of Reed", I nod and we sit down to book our flight and a hotel. Sheri already changed her plans to be with Jason because he makes her forget about what's going on at this school.

"What do you want, Reed?", I mutter as I accept Scott's call. "Can we talk about what happened? Please?", he asks me in a way which shows me that he still cares about me. "What is left to say?", I reply coldly, "You obviously wanted to visit your mom with someone instead of going to the dance with me." 

"Please believe me when I say I would have preferred to go to the dance with you. I just.." "You just what?" "Forget about it", he mutters obviously not wanting to be honest with me, "Just forget about me, okay?" "You know what?", I scoff annoyed by his ambiguous behavior, "With greatest pleasure."

"Are you scared?", Jeff asks me as we begin our tour. "Of what?" „Seeing Scott." "No, I don't care about him anymore", I lie still not understanding why he's been treating me like that, "Plus, this university is big enough for us to stay away from each other." 

"I would say let's change universities but they've got the best baseball team for me here", Jeff says jokingly and I hit his arm lightly. "We're not changing our plan for anyone." "None of our plans?", Jeff asks probably thinking about our plan to be a couple again once we're in college. "Let's focus on university, jock", I chuckle trying to avoid this topic. "Cute jock, hopefully." "Of course, J."