{Last time on Suds, Shantel slipped into a recurring dream when her most anticipated moment nosedived into the worst day of her life. We went back in time with her. And we're still there. Get comfy it's time to press play.

Ready, Set... Suds!!}

Flashback continued
• 4 years ago •

SHANTEL's hand cut though the air, and connected with his face, whipping his head around.

Sylus hunched over, rounding his back as her dainty hands slammed into him, each bounding away long enough for the next to slap out her anger.

Then she doubled over from the potent pain of his betrayal. His lies pierced her heart, and a string of profanities lurched from her matte mauve lips.
"I hate you," she yelled.

He recovered, stumbling forward as he tried to hold onto her.
She pushed him away, screaming.
"How could you?"

Fruitless tears streaked, smearing the careful strokes of makeup she applied for him. She balled her fists to hide the perfect nude manicure that she picked to show off the engagement ring she expected from him. The kiss that she had waited two years for laid stale on her tongue. And her heart bursted open.

"You promised," she yelled. "Treasure? You worthless liar." Shantel backed away, humiliated as her pride whittled away. "I believed you."

Sylus inched toward her. "You are—"
Her icy glare pushed him back.

Never had she thought. Shantel clenched her fists, biting back the useless tears. She forced down the pinching pain that clipped at her chest.

"I thought you were going to propose. To me. Not tell me that you went back to her."
His countenance broke. "I swear it was an accident—"
She laughed. "You accidentally fell into her?"
He rubbed his palms together as tears welled in his eyes. "Baby, I—"

She held up an exhausted hand, factoring in her surroundings. People milled along the river walk, gawking as they strolled by. Some pitying her. Others entertained by the surprise movie with their outdoor dinner. He made her a spectacle.

Shantel shook her head. "I can't."
"Baby, I swear I wanted to tell you."
"Like this?" She gestured at the unabashed onlookers. "By humiliating me."
"I didn't mean to—"
"But you did. And you are."

Her back straightened and she stood an inch taller. "I thought it was me. The special one you couldn't walk away from. The treasure." She scoffed. "But it was always Monetta." She clapped. "Just. Like. She. Said."

Sylus shook his head. "I swear to God, Tel."
"Cut the extra. Your word means about as much as this conversation. Nothing."

Sylus reached into his pocket. Desperation beaded into sweat and he pulled out a small velvet box. "It's a promise ring."

She choked out an empty laugh. "Keep it. Better yet, give it to your baby momma."

She yanked out a pair a dark, squared shades from her designer handbag, and slid on the sunglasses.

Sylus inched toward her, gripping the ring box tight. "I swear I never meant to—" Tears broke free, streaming down his face as he stared into the black barrier blocking her eyes. He wiped away the tears, pleading. "Please, Shantel, I promise—"

She smoothed her long hair.
"You don't know how to keep promises. And I don't know how to deal with all the broken ones you leave behind."

Finality settled in her heart and she walked away.

• SATURDAY •
Present Day

SHANTEL opened her eyes. Tears rolled down the side of her face, pooling in cool puddles at her ears.

The dream always started the same.
Delicate.
Pure.

Fooled by the beauty, she stayed there. And by the end, her heart throbbed in pain.

She buried her face in a silk pillow and reigned in the useless feelings running rampant. Emotions never led her down the right path. They were irrelevant. So was he.

Her mother's ringtone screeched.
Shantel stared at the phone, willing herself to reject the call. Instead, she sat upright in bed.

"Yes, mother."
"There is someone I want you to meet."
Shantel slammed her eyes shut, hating that she answered the call.

"He is an up-and-comer." Her mother continued. "An attorney. Like you."
She whispered and Shantel imagined her leaning forward like a school girl with the latest gossip. "The man is a lottery to ticket." She gushed. "Very well connected. And he is the most handsome creature. Win. Win." She squealed.

Shantel slid off her silk scarf and combed her fingers through bouncy layers of hair that dusted the nape of her neck. "It's too early for this conversation."

Her mother let out an exasperated sigh.
"Are you still pining over that military expat? He is gone and never coming back."

Shantel swung her feet off the bed, making lazy steps toward her bathroom.

Her mother hammered on her point. "Not to mention how much better off you'll be financially with a lawyer. A well connected lawyer."
Shantel rolled her eyes. "I have to get ready for my friend's engagement party."

Her mother sighed. "This should be your engagement party. You're almost thirty, beautiful, and a prominent attorney on the rise. Can't you try this time?"

Unable to answer, Shantel stared at herself in the mirror. Prickles of discomfort gnawed at her chest.

"I showed him a picture of you." Her mother chimed. "He is definitely interested."
"I gotta go, ma."

She ended the call. Then a text message lit up her screen.
"His name is Garrett Avers."

She pursed her lips and texted back.
"I love you, ma."

Shantel checked the time. Barely six am. She sighed, hating that her love life needed a wake up call. Then she brushed her teeth, and lumbered toward the kitchen.

The rising sun spilled through the windows, brightening the spacious condo as she brewed coffee.

She walked toward the massive window. Buried under blankets on the floor, Mira slept alone between the empty chaises. Shantel chuckled, picked up her Bible from the coffee table, and tucked it under her arm. Then she grabbed two mugs of coffee, and padded into Lique's room.

She found Lique sprawled horizontally across a large queen sized bed, tangled between her sheets.

Then a sweet medley called her from the walk in closet. She smiled and opened the door.

~

Tucked away inside her sister's half used closet, LEILAH rolled out two yoga mats and played the worship song that best spoke her heart.

The graceful piano stroked her hair. She bowed down on her knees, closed her eyes, and let the song cry out to God from her heart. Lei sang along, holding the notes with her less than perfect vocals.

"Now you're in the room.
There's nothing left to do.
All I want to do is worship."

A river of tears flowed and she wrapped her arms around her stomach.

She breathed out the lyrics.
"You have always been enough.
I'm captivated by your Love."

Trembling tears pushed her further off key. "I'll stay here in the presence of Jesus."

Then she cried out to God.
"Even if I can't have a baby, I'll stay at your feet."

Pain from the crushing thought broke her and heavy sobs shook her body. Leilah pressed her forehead on the yoga mat and stretched out her arms, bowed low before God.

She prayed in the midst of her brokenness. "You know my heart. And I know you love me. I will love you even if I can't bear children."

Leilah swallowed hard. Her voice cracked as she struggled to sing along. Distraught weighed her down, and she cried.

In the midst of the pain, a quiet hush swelled in her heart, easing the ache. The sobs slowed. And the warmth of soft feathers embraced her.

She gasped, marveling at the peace pulsing through her body. God held her, collecting her tears.

She held onto the moment and smiled.

~

SHANTEL froze at the door, overwhelmed by the potent sense of love filling the closet.

She watched Leilah prostrated on her knees with her head bowed low, and her arms stretched wide.

The beautiful medley whispered to Shantel's heart. And her breath hitched.

A moment later, Leilah's rose and sat on her knees. She reached out a hand, and welcomed Shantel into the holy place.

Shantel nodded, leaving her house shoes at the door. Her bare feet sank into the yoga mat. She handed Leilah a coffee cup and sat.

"Are you okay?" she asked.
Leilah wiped away her tears. "I am."

~

The song sifted out the open door and into LIQUE's room.

Her eyes fluttered open.
She rolled out of bed, taking the sheets with her, and shuffled into the war room.

Lique shielded her still adjusting eyes from the bright light filling the room, and made out Leilah praying with her hands laid on Stantel's head.

"Amen," Lique said when the finished.
Then she shuffled into the small room and lay down on the mat, resting her head on Shantel's lap. She took her sister's hand and then Shantel's and placed them both on her forehead.

"Pray for me, too." She said, closing her eyes as she snuggled into the sheet. "I don't know what to do."

Leilah pushed a hand through her little sister's tussled hair, then rested the hand on her forehead and prayed while Shantel sang, harmonizing with the beautiful song.

~

MIRA's eyes snapped open. Her head throbbed and she pressed it into her pillow.
"Those bums actually left me."

She covered her head with the blanket, warding off the unnaturally bright light.

Then a soft medley whispered in her ear. She pushed off the covers and listened. The music beckoned her. Dizzy, she stumbled into Lique's room and followed the sound into the walk-in closet.

The smell of fresh brewed coffee tickled her nostrils, calling her forward. She  stood in the doorway and found her friends.

Lei smiled, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat, and passed her coffee to Mira.

"Thanks." She managed as she sat, pressing her back against the wall. Mira sipped the coffee and listened to the precious melody wafting though the small space.

She watched as Lique snuggled into her sheets, napping on her friend's lap with peaceful smile resting on her lips.

And listened as Shantel's strong vocals hugged the notes in tandem with the singer, bringing the song to life.

The lyrics held Mira captive. She grazed her lips with the mug.
"What is this?" she whispered, staring off into a void. "Why do I feel like baring my soul?"

Lique shrugged, squinting an eye open. "Maybe there's something you need to give to God instead of trying to handle it yourself."

The divorce appeared in Mira's mind, she shifted on the yoga mat, and sipped her coffee.

She sat quietly, watching her friends worship God like she never had before. The song played over and over, plucking her heart as Shantel sang.

Lique slept. Shantel sang. And Leilah raised her head and hands to the sky, blissfully drowning in something Mira couldn't see.

Her skin warmed and overwhelming sensation flushed through Mira. She shivered and rubbed her heart, whispering to herself. 
"Why is it so touching?"

"Because Jesus loves you," Leilah answered.
Mira's breath caught. She put the coffee down and held herself.

Then Leilah crawled over to her friend, hugged her, and prayed.

~
{Praise break}
"Mary's Song"
by Tasha Cobbs Leonard

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

{And now back to pure, Suds 3}
~

LALIQUE stepped out of the car, squeezing her fingers around the small gold clutch. Sage sparkled like a vintage diamond under the afternoon sun. She marveled at the historic architecture of the grand Victorian mansion surrounded by lush landscaping. Her heart pounded, and she gripped the clutch tighter.

Shantel stepped onto the sidewalk beside her. She placed her hand on Lique's back, drawing her attention. "We don't wear doubt. Not in in a dress like that."

Lique smiled and lifted her chin. The champagne cocktail dress hugged her torso and flared out with flirty frills to her thighs.

Then she looked around and her smile waned. Sophisticates emerged from luxury vehicles parked behind theirs. Lique bit her lip and crossed an arm over her chest. "Maybe it's too much cleavage."

Shantel grinned.
"Barbie better watch out."
Lique's cheeks warmed.

Shantel tilted her head to the side and feathered the layers of her long bob with nude nails. "Interesting," she said. "You didn't deny."

Lique opened her mouth, but words failed to follow. She squeezed the clutch and glanced around. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

Shantel dropped the valet ticket into her handbag. "Too late." She hooked Lique's arm in hers and clicked into the mansion.

~

The opulence of the palatial venue paralyzed LIQUE. Her nerves rattled and her heart pounded, dwarfing the sounds around her.

An acquaintance greeted Shantel as soon as they walked into the foyer. Lique smiled at the introduction and looked around while she waited for Shantel.

The crowd thinned. Guests filtered through the ballroom and out into the garden. She followed the crowd into the ballroom and was mesmerized by the beauty of elegant chandeliers sprinkling light onto sweeping marble floors.

Her gaze trailed along stately columns to a panoramic glass view overlooking a lush garden. If she were a fairy Princess, this palace would be her dream. Her lips tickled into a smile.

More guests cleared out of the ballroom into the garden, and her eyes connected with Terrance.

All she saw was Terrance.

{Stay tuned: My apologies for leaving you on a cliff. Air hugs!!}

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