The weather was cooler when I woke up in the morning. Waking up might not have been the right term. Getting out of bed was more accurate.

I hadn't slept much.

How could I? After what I'd done, it made me fucking ill. As in, I was over the toilet, losing litres of beer and stale chips until six in the morning.

After a long shower, I pulled on a pair of sweats and a long white sleeve shirt.

I had no intentions of leaving the house, so comfort was important even though it didn't stop me from feeling like slime. When I checked my phone for the time, finding it was nine, I saw Amalia had sent me a couple of text messages.

Made it ! The car doesn't have a single scratch. Phew. Lol. Bernie is pretty sick though. She's not having a good time.

Morning x still nursing Berns. She's throwing up bile now. Ick. I'll call later? Come get your car if you need it ! Otherwise I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for the surprise? x

My cellphone hit the side table with a thud when I dropped it without sending a response.

It was too hard. Whatever I said would feel fake and gross. She deserved so much better and as hard as it was going to be, I planned on being honest.

She needed to know. She made me promise that if I couldn't remain exclusive, I would tell her first. I'd ruined that part. But I could still do the right thing and come clean.

I wandered out of my bedroom. Dad appeared from the staircase, holding on to the banister as he swung around and started towards me.

He was dressed in his track pants and a t shirt but his coach cap was on backwards and a whistle hung from his neck.

"You're up," he gave me a slap on the shoulder when we were standing in front of each other. "You look like shit."

"Cheers Dad," I didn't bother biting back. I wasn't in the mood for a verbal spar. "You off for a game?"

"Later," he said. "Home game tonight so I don't have to travel out of town. Spencer and Nathan are out doing touristy shit at the moment. They'll be here tonight though. You don't look so good. You alright?"

"No," I mumbled and felt sort of bad that I forgot my Aunt and Uncle were in town. "I got ripped last night. I'm hungover."

"Dumbass. You didn't learn from the other night?"

"Guess not."

"Where's your sister?"

"She slept at Ingrid's," I said. "Oh and I might have said something about her door and you telling me not to fix it."

Dad sighed. "You're such a fucking rookie," he said, going back to the staircase. "Lunch at eleven. We're talking to Max. Tell Abby to get her ass home. Minus Flynn. He's here so damn often he might as well start paying rent."

"Sure."

As I passed Abby's bedroom, I peeped inside and noticed Mills curled up in her bed. A curtain of red hair covered her face and the blankets were a balled mess on top of her.

Most of last night was a blur. There wasn't much about it that made sense. But I sure as hell remembered almost having sex with that beautiful British red head.

We needed to talk. I was glad she hadn't left last night. That would have been dangerous if she'd decided to walk home. I walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

She didn't move when I used a finger and pushed her hair back from her face. But her lashes fluttered as she opened her eyes and stared at me.

She was too alert to have been asleep before. No doubt she'd had a restless night just the same as I had.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. We just locked gazes and while I didn't know what she was thinking, I knew what I was thinking.

As much as I hated what I was thinking, I was still thinking it. I knew I enjoyed kissing her last night.

And I knew part of me wanted to do it again. But I wouldn't. Not now. Not until I had spoken to Amalia.

She inhaled and rolled onto her back, rubbing at the mascara smudged under her eyes.

"I thought you went home," I said.

"Thought it'd be best if you didn't come in here looking for me last night," she said, a morning rasp in her voice. "I was a total twat last night, Luc. Amalia didn't deserve that."

"I know."

She let her arms drop to her side and stared at the ceiling. "Your sisters sheets smell like nob juice. It's disgusting. I need a shower."

I said nothing.

"Not going to ask for an invitation? I suppose this is what it'll be like from now on. We've ruined our friendship."

"I'm confused, Mills," I admitted.

"About what?"

"About— us. Why did that happen last night? What did it mean? Why do I feel like this?"

She leaned up on her elbows and blew her hair out of her face. "I don't know how you're feeling. But I'm feeling— I don't know. Awful for kissing someone that's taken. Hungover after drinking far too much. And well, Lucas, I told you I liked you."

"You said that you did a long time ago," I twisted on the bed so I was facing her. "Do you still?"

"Yeah well the thing is, I've always been attracted to you. You. Your stupid humour," she looked at her lap and grinned. "I just hated what a little slut you were. But when I saw you changing and being, well, super sweet. I just— I felt things. I can't believe we did that though. I don't know what I was thinking."

"There wasn't a lot of thinking going on last night," I said. The guilt was consuming me. "Mills, I'm just so fucking confused. I thought I was in love with Amalia. And now I'm thinking about you and I just kind of want to kiss you again and it's no—"

"Not going to happen," she said. "I mean, not unless you were one hundred percent, detached, available. I like Amalia. I can't do that to her."

"I can't either," I said and stood up when she started to get out of bed. "But what do we do now?"

"Pretend it didn't happen?" She suggested, doing a half assed job of making the bed.

She picked up a pen and post it from Abby's desk and started scrawling a note down.

"I think we should just be. . . I don't know, us?" She said. "Forget it happened until. . . Until the air is cleared. Until it's blown over. I'm not sure."

That sounded difficult. But it wasn't like I'd never done it before.

I slept with Ingrid. Her and I were good friends. Tamara, Kelsey, Lizzie. There was no awkward tension with those girls from the cheer team and I shared a field with them more than once a week. There was a difference though.

I'd never had feelings for those girls.

But for the sake of not destroying a friendship, I agreed to keep things as normal as possible. I pointed at the window. Outside it was clouding over.

"You don't need to bathe in sunscreen this afternoon," I said. "Just a single layer of SPF three thousand will do."

"Bloody hilarious, mate," she said. "Don't slip on baby oil at the gym. And remember that exercising your vocal chords by grunting in the mirror doesn't count as a work out."

I laughed and we stood there for a moment, grinning at each other before she threw her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.

l hugged her back and even though it felt wrong when I buried my face in the crook of her neck, it felt right.

She stepped back and smiled. "You're not a bad person, Luc. We just did a bad thing. And I'm sorry."

She left before I could respond. I looked down at the note she'd left for Abby and grinned when I read the message.

'Change your sheets girl. Such a stank smell. But also. . . GET IT. Love you bitch.'

About an hour before we were meant to sit down for lunch with the laptop open and Max joining in on a cyber meal, my phone started to ring with the request for a FaceTime with the aforementioned twin brother.

I'd just finished cleaning up the rec room after walking into check out how bad the mess was and finding it was worse than I'd imagined.

Broken glass in the kitchenette. Sticky beer all over the lino. More empty bottles around the couch and chip crumbs smashed into the carpet.

It could have been worse. Still, I didn't want Mom and Dad to see what a state it was in, so I cleaned up - slowly, might I add, so as not to throw up on the furniture - and was heading back upstairs to wallow when I answered Max's call.

"Couldn't wait to chat, huh?" I shut my bedroom door behind me.

Max was sitting at a desk, photo's of Kyla and her family lined the wall behind him.

"Na I just thought we better have a private chat," he said, leaning forward.

Kyla appeared on the screen, waving with a bald head.

"Damn girl," I said. "You actually suit that chrome dome. Can I call you Jason Statham from now on?"

Kyla laughed. "You've always had a way with words, Lucas," she slipped a beanie on. "Unfortunately the weather here is a lot cooler than Texas and I'm losing all of the heat out the top of my head. I have indulged in a lot of cute new beanies though. But I just wanted to say hello. I'm off for a walk with Mom while Max catches up with his family. See you later."

I said goodbye and turned away from the screen while they shared a kiss and a hug. Felt kind of weird to stare at someone who was attempting to have an intimate moment.

Especially when my brother's unwavering commitment amplified my guilt. That's on me though.

"So a private chat?" I said, once Max was seated and alone. "Let me guess, you want to come home already. Hate New York? Miss Dad and his exceptional humor?"

"It's not about me," he said with a pointed look. "I spent half the night awake with an anxious stomach and a pounding heart. Couldn't figure out why until I realized it was you. What's going on?"

Damn. It didn't seem to matter that he was in another state.

I didn't want to talk about what had happened. Not out loud. Not when I still hadn't spoken to Amalia, I knew she would be upset.

I didn't want to see her in pain. I didn't want to be the cause of that pain. But it was too late for that.

So although I was a conflicted mess of emotion and wasn't sure what the hell to do, I decided that telling Max wouldn't be such a bad thing. Perhaps he could help.

So I told him all about what happened last night. Beginning to end. Including Jorjia.

I still didn't know what she was doing here. The weird bitch was just floating around on her own. Appearing at the least convenient times. Whispering manipulative bullshit and confusing me.

If this was a movie, she would turn out to be a demon sent from Hell to create chaos and no one else could see her but me.

Unfortunately there was nothing supernatural going on. She was just a cunt that fed off turning people into soulless assholes like herself.

Max listened without interruption. He didn't give me judgmental stares when I confessed to almost sleeping with Milly.

He didn't tell me I was a sack of shit or belittle me with his superior ability to keep his dick in his pants.

He just nodded and let me finish the entire story before he leaned forward and exhaled.

"I guess, first of all, you have to be honest with Amalia."

"Yeah, of course," I said. "I will tell her. I guess I'm just a bit of a coward. I keep avoiding her texts and phone calls. But at the latest, I'll tell her tomorrow. I think I just need that time. Ya know, get up the nerves. Selfish, I know."

"I guess, as long as she won't hear it from someone else in the mean time," he said. "The sooner the better though."

"I know."

"Second, I guess I'm not that surprised," he said.

"What?"

"You two have always had. . . something. An easy friendship. Flirtation. And you care about her. I know you do. I've felt it. Ya know?"

"But what if this thing with Milly is just lust? What if I just have the urge to bone her and get it out of my system?"

"You're the only one who would know that," he said. "But I wouldn't be so sure. I mean, you've known Amalia for two weeks. You fell into that hard and fast. What's to say that how you feel for her isn't lust? Or fleeting desire?"

I winced at his wording.

"Look at it like this," he leaned back in his seat. "You've known Mills for a long time. You're close. Whether you've noticed it or not, you two have chemistry. But back when being with Mills was even something to think about, you were in the aftermath of what Jorjia did.

"You would never have thought of her as more than a conquest because you didn't want to get hurt again. And she would never have let on that she had feelings for you because she didn't want to get hurt either.

"But now, you've had time to heal and grow up and kissing Milly has awakened something that has probably been there for a long time. I mean, how did you feel about her back before Jorjia came along? Back when Abby first started bringing her home?"

"I don't know," I said. "She didn't spend as much time with us back then. And we were young. But I do remember meeting her for the first time and thinking she was beautiful and fucking hilarious. I used to love that she got into it with me. The verbal matches. She didn't back down."

"I think Amalia is great," Max said. "She's sweet and kind and definitely didn't deserve to be screwed over—"

"Yep okay—"

"But," he tilted his head to the side. "This thing with her wasn't official. That's about the only loophole you've got. It was still wrong. But she might understand. Might. And while I think you do like Amalia and you and Milly have always been just friends, that doesn't mean it can't be more.

"It doesn't mean you can't have something beautiful and genuine with Milly. You're allowed to be happy. Amalia deserves the truth. But if she isn't the one, she isn't the one. Just don't string her along."

He wasn't helping. He was just confusing me more.

"Are you just saying all of this because you're glad Milly isn't crushing on you anymore?"

Max laughed. "She was never crushing on me. She might have had a mild infatuation but we hardly ever spoke. Whenever we all hung out, it was you she was watching. It was you she was sparring with. And now I know what happened, I'm convinced that she was just using me as a means not to feel for you."

I slowly exhaled a deep sigh. He'd given me a lot to think about in one phone call.

He checked his watch. "I'm meant to be calling all of you in about ten minutes. We can keep talking afterward if you need?"

"I should be alright. Thanks man."

"Alright well, we can keep this between us and I'll see you downstairs for lunch real soon."

I laughed and agreed to act as if we hadn't just had a chat when he called at lunch time. When I hung up and read a text from Abby, it said she wouldn't be home for lunch but she would talk to Max on her own later.

Dad wasn't going to be pleased. But I text back an okay and slipped my cellphone into my pocket as I walked out of my bedroom, bumping straight into Dad.

"You almost had sex with your sisters's best friend?"

Eavesdropping bastard. He was visibly a lot less supportive about what I'd done than Max had been. I really wasn't sure what to tell him so I shrugged.

"She's sleeping with mine."

Slap around the back of the head number one.

"You better fix this," he said, pointing an authoritative finger. "Amalia is a sweet girl, she puts up with your shit - I for one know how rare a patient woman is - and we don't do that sort of shit. And I don't like keeping secrets from your mother. But you'd better hope she doesn't find out. She will beat the fuck out of you."

"Oh come on—"

"Bet?" He said. "You've seen Grayson's crooked nose. That was Mom's one hitter quitter."

"Fine," I raised a hand in surrender. "I was going to fix it regardless. Somehow. Advice?"

"Tell the truth. Own it. Don't make excuses. Don't make yourself the victim. Do not turn it around if she pops off. She's allowed to pop off. Sit there and take all the heat. Or I'll revoke your man card. No balls for you. You messed up, you take whatever she wants to throw. Understand?"

This man scared me sometimes. "Yeah, dad. Got it."

He slapped me on the shoulder. "Next time, don't let yourself get into that position in the first place. If you screw up when you drink, don't drink. Simple."