"I can't believe you lied to us, Paradice." I wince when I hear the disappointment in my mum's voice. "You had me worried, your father worried and the fact that we found out that you were actually out with the guy that I specifically told you not to see just tops everything off." She cries out and walks back and forth.

I look down on my lap and fumble with my fingers. My mind wasn't on a right place and thoughts are running wild in my head. "I-" There was no use explaining because she wouldn't give me a chance to even open my mouth. "No, Paradice. You have no words to say on this. You have disappoint your family."

And that was the breaking point.

The first tear flows down my cheek and then the others come naturally. I tried to hide my sobs but nothing helps. "I-I'm sorry." I stutter, saying those words over and over again through the tears.

"3 months ago, you said - I quote - 'I'm sure that won't happen anytime soon, mum' when I was worried that you will find someone and become like this. You promised that it won't happened but it did, Par." Mum shakes her head in disappointment.

"Dice, you are a disgrace to the Newman family. You can't even follow a simple rule of not seeing the boy. You are young and what if something happens to you? What if you got kidnapped? Do you think I could live knowing that my daughter went missing or maybe died because of some, some, some minor?" She spits out the last word and somehow, it dried all of my tears and made me do something that I have never had the guts to do in my fifteen years of living on this Earth.

"Don't you dare talk about Austin like that!" I scream at my mother's face. I gasp right after I knew what I just done. My mother and father had the same shocked expression on their faces. "Look, you are screaming at your own mum and you are even defending him, Paradice. Don't you see what he has done? He ruined you." My dad states and gives me the look which usually makes me regret my actions instantly.

But this time is different; it doesn't make me feel regret of my actions, instead, it only fuels my anger more.

"He gave me something that you will never give me!" I screech. By now, I'm on my feet, neck-and-neck with my parents, something that I've never dreamt of doing. "For years, I've dreaded for someone who will hold my hand until the day I die. Isn't that the reason why we are living? To find someone who will love us just as much as we love ourselves? He is the one that I want to wake up to, mum. I don't want to let go of him because I know that there's something between us. It's there, a fucking spark is there."

"And what is between you two, Dice?" My mum challenges me as she crosses her arms, waiting.

"A pure attraction." I tell her boldly.

My mother throws her head back and howls. I am fed up, face stained with tears but still red with anger. "Dice, sweetie, do you even know what love is? You are fifteen years old, you've barely live on this land and yet you claim that you have some sort of attraction with a guy who apparently is your junior. I mean, wow." My mother laughs again and I raise my middle finger behind my back.

"I sure as hell know that love is between us both. You have no right to talk about him or us like that. Just because I'm fifteen doesn't mean I don't know shit, mum. Maturity isn't based on your age, it's based on your mindset. And stop calling him a minor or a junior or what-so-ever. He is more mature than you think and him being two years younger than me doesn't mean shit. He is worth more than what you think he is." I snap at her.

If you told me last year that I'm going to shout at my own mother just because I fell in love with a boy, I'd probably laugh at your face. But seeing the current situation, it seemed right to defend him and myself.

"Worth what, Paradice? Worth not respecting your parents? Dice, you went out with a minor to the city until it was late and you are defending him. If your father and I did not make the decision on going there and pick you up ourselves, I'd think that you would consider sleeping with the guy." She scolds.

Both me and my father gasp at the same time at her statement. Her eyes widen a little, probably realising how hard her words stung me. "Paradice, I-"

"That was low, even for you, mum." I go upstairs and slam my room door shut.

After I angrily changed into my pjs, I lay on my bed and let my tears flow. Why can't my life be easier? I've tried my best to make everyone happy but at the end, no one cares about my happiness, except for Austin. Cara is one bump in our road but I didn't think that my parents would be one too. Well, I know they would be one but I didn't think that the problem would be as big as this.

Fucking hell, everything is fucked up.

Those are the only words that could describe this situation.

Just as Austin's face passes my thoughts, my phone vibrates on my nightstand. I pick it up, not even a glance to the caller ID. "Hello?" I greet harshly, wiping the tears with the back of my hand, thoughts still swirling in my mind.

"Chill, Par. Are you okay?" The soothing voice of my boyfriend sounds through the phone.

Without a shed of a doubt, I immediately pour my heart out to him. I tell him about the plan of lying to my parents and assuring them that nothing happened backfired, the part where I sort of blurt out the truth about me and Austin's relationship, and I didn't left out the part where my mum accused me of having the intention of sleeping with him.

"Dammit, Par, that's a lot of shits right there." He blows out a low whistle as I hug my pillow, pretending that it was him instead. "I know." I nod in agreement even though he couldn't see it. We keep talking and talking until the stars appear and the world is quiet.

In the middle of our conversations, my dad goes into my room to check on me. I know I should've hide my phone and stop talking to Austin at the moment but to be quite honest with you, I don't give a fuck. So what if my parents caught me talking to him? Apparently, my dad didn't make a move to stop me from talking to him anyway. We carry on with our conversations and he manages to make me laugh and makes me feel better.

"I wish you were here instead." I admit softly. "Me too, honey. Me too." He agrees as I look at the time. 2:03 am, it says. It was late but I have no intention on hanging up anytime soon. "Hey, Par?" He asks and I hum in response. "Do you think your parents will ever accept me?" He mumbles so softly that I was shocked that I was able to hear it.

I sigh and snuggle into my pillow. "In time, they will. They will learn to love you as much as I do." I smile unconsciously. "Okay," He mutters back and I hear a yawn over the phone. "Get some sleep, baby." As much as I love him to stay on the phone with me, I don't want him to get tired the next day because of me.

"But I want to stay with you." I could imagine him pouting like the day when I stayed back at school to see him practise his badminton skills. I giggle. "I know, Austin but you need the energy so you can do shit tomorrow." I say and fight a yawn myself. "You should get some sleep too, honey." He uses the same tone as me and laughs at the end.

I chuckle and then sigh. "Fine, we'll both to bed, okay?" I utter and then cover myself with the blanket that my mum bought me when I was younger. "Okay." He approves and I could hear the sound of him hitting a pillow, probably to make it more fluffier.

"Goodnight, honey. Today was the best." He yawns.

"Yes, it was. Night, baby." I whisper back as darkness takes over me while I hope that it could take away my worries and problems too.

Austin was right; today is one hell of an action-packed day.

~~~

"Well, I'm glad you look better than last week, Par. I was getting a little worried, you know." Ray frowns as she helps me to take all the supplies to make our Science project for today. "I know, Ray. I'm just stress, that's all." She gives me a look but she didn't push it further.

Me and my parents are in okay terms again but I'm still pissed that they didn't trust me enough to let me go out on my own and the fact that they kept bringing up Austin being the bad guy of the incident.

She takes the bag full of supplies and put it on top of my table. Zach takes a quick peek inside and then shrugs at something that Ray said. I'm taking a wild guess that they were talking about me because they both slowly turn their heads to look at me. "I'm fine, guys." I grit my teeth and stomp over to my seat. They both left it there as Ray gives me a pat behind my back and goes to discuss with Amie about our project.

"You know we are here for you, right?" Zach reminds without even looking at me but I know that the statement is directed to me. "Yes, Zach, I know." I sigh and then takes out my Maths homework to do it. The life of a procrastinator, I thought in my head as I do the linear equation questions which will eventually lead to a never-ending headache.

Since last week, I haven't got enough sleep because of the thoughts that always haunt me so I always arrive at school with bags of exhaustion under my eyes. Everyone could see that I wasn't in my usual self for a few days but today seemed like a good day because I haven't flip anyone off. Yet.

Zach seems to give up on making me talk to him so he goes off talking to Tucker instead. I was in the middle of working through the last question when suddenly, someone taps my shoulder. I turn and see Alyssa standing there. "Yes?" I ask right after turning back to my linear equation homework. "Austin told me to tell you that he wants to meet you at the school garden now." She reports.

I raise my eyebrow at the sudden rendezvous. "Okay." I nod, immediately abandoning my homework. I take off without telling anyone so only Alyssa knows where I'll be. Austin has been trying to make me feel better since last week so I owe everything to him.

When I open the gate that leads to the school garden, he is the first thing that came into my view. He was leaning against a tree with his head hung low. "Hey," I greet him and he looks up. His eyes softens when it met mine. "Hi." He walks towards me but he doesn't greet me with a hug like I hoped for. He stops when he is one foot away from me.

"We need to talk." He takes a seat on the bench. I raise an eyebrow at his sudden change of tone. "What about?" I question, my worries kicking in. I take a seat next to him but he moves away from me. I frown at his action but didn't question it, thinking that maybe he didn't want me to catch his sickness or something.

He turns to look at me and I notice his expression full of sadness. "We need to breakup." When the words flew out of his mouth, I was immediately on my feet.

"Breakup?" I ask, double-checking.

Fucking hell, what in fuck's name is this? My eyes widen and I slowly back away until my back hit the lamp post. "You are kidding, right?" I ask, my voice getting smaller as I feel the air getting thicker.

"This is about Cara, isn't it? You finally realise that you like her so you want to dump me for her, right? You finally realise that I'm not as perfect as you thought and now you want to give up. You finally figured out that I'm not the one for you. That's right, you finally realise that you don't love me." It wasn't me who was speaking; the petrified side of me was talking without control.

Austin shakes his head vigorously. "No, no! It's definitely not about that. C'mon, Paradice, I-" I stop him from continuing. "Don't say another word. I get it, what ever reason for you to make this decision has to do with something about me." I mutter as I turn to walk out of the garden. "So, what? You are just going to give up on us?" He yells. The words hit me like a damn bomb as a strong, cold wind blows our way.

"Give up on us? Austin, you brought this on yourself. Don't you dare to put the blame on me! Suddenly, you want to break-up with me for no particular reason and yet you say that I'm the one who is giving up on us. Two weeks ago, we were having the time of our lives and yet two weeks after, you claim that you want to breakup with me. Is that what this is all about to you? A game? I thought we actually have something between us but I guess I was wrong." I spit out. There were no tears left in me, only anger inside my burning body.

"Of course we have a pure attraction towards each other. Paradice, please, this is for your own good." He pleads. "For my own good? Killing me mentally and physically with our breakup is for my own good?" I chuckle painfully. He pulls his hair out of frustration but I'm not buying that shit again. "Par, this is so that you and your family don't need to fight anymore because of me." He claims.

I shake my head, tears threatening to fall. "Well, have you ever took the time to realise that I want you more than anything else?" I yell at him, thoughts swirling in my mind. I just can't, I can't bear the lose of him. Austin is the best thing that has happen to me. "I love you, Paradice. I really do but your relationship with your family can't be destroyed because of me. Your parents hate me enough, Par." He explains but I wasn't taking anything.

"I don't care, okay? People say that if you miss a person, you won't be able to see them for a lifetime. You are that person, Austin. I don't want to lose you, I just can't." I sob but he just shakes his head.

"So this is it then." I say as the cold wind continues to blow. I stand in front of the boy that I thought I would spend forever with but apparently, I was naive to think of that.

"I guess. I really am so-" I stop him from saying that bloody word.

I shake my head. "Please cut the crap, asshole. I don't need your apology. You didn't do anything wrong. I am the one that should be apologising." I pause for awhile, letting one of my tears go and preparing myself for the words to spill out on their own.

"I'm sorry that I thought you looked cute on the first day of school. I'm sorry that you had to make the first move and talk to me. I'm sorry that I realised that I had feelings for you on Presentation Day. I'm sorry that you had to make the first move and text me." I sniffle before continuing.

"I'm sorry that we chatted from day to night. I'm sorry that you had to chat with me during my relative's wedding. I'm sorry that we shared our dreams with each other. I'm sorry that we went out and hang around together." He looks at me with a sad face, probably remembering the memories.

"I'm fucking sorry that I fell in love with YOU!" I scream, the last word echoed throughout the garden.

Now, I was fully sobbing. I didn't want to show him my broken side now that he broke my heart but I couldn't help myself. I really love this boy in front of me but I couldn't have him and it wasn't fair. He is looking at me full of sorrow but I know he didn't really care.

"I-I... Please stop crying, honey."

That nickname. It used to mean so much to me but now it just makes me even more pissed at him.

"Don't call me that!" I yell with anger running through my veins. I take off my glasses and wipe away the tears. "I'm nothing to you, remember? Remember?!" I wear back my glasses and pull my hair in frustration.

He still looks at me with that same stupid sad face which I once thought that it was cute but now, it just makes me wanna punch him even more.

"J-just tell me one thing... Why did you make a move on me and leave me broken like this? Is it because I was such an easy target? Is it because I was fucking dumb?" I say the last word with disgust.

His eyes widen. "N-no! Definitely not that. Please, Par. I just respect your parents and I don't want to be one to ruined your relationship. I'm sorry, it is my fault." He explains while rubbing the back of his neck. I hug myself as it was getting colder. "You got that right." I mutter.

As if God knows my feeling right now, it started to rain the first raindrop. One drop by one drop, it starts to rain heavily, soaking both of us. God, please give me strength. I close my eyes and feel the wetness on my clothes, hoping that the rain will wash away my pain too.

"C'mon, Par. We need to get inside or you'll get sick." He offers with sadness lacing in his voice but I know that's just an act.

All of it was just an act.

"Go then. I know you want to leave me. Just leave, no one is stopping you here. The gate is over there and I'm sure as hell that you can walk there with your feet unless you want me to carry you there." I say as I stare at him with dull eyes. He frowns. "I can't just leave you here out in the rain, Par."

Thunder rolls across the sky. "If you can leave me brokenhearted without any acceptable reason, I'm sure that you can leave me here out in my favourite weather." I say with a monotone. The water level was halfway over my shoes but I have no intention on leaving here.

"You know your mum is going to be so furious, right?" He asks as he starts to walk towards me. I take a step back and he stops, frowning deeper. Thunder continues to sound and lightning continues to strike, as if it's trying to tell the whole world how sad and pissed off I am.

"Oh she's going to be furious all right. Especially if she knows that I had a relationship with you." I emphasises the last word, knowing how much my parents hated his guts. His eyes change somehow but I didn't really care.

I sigh. "No one can know how moronic I was to let myself get into a relationship with you." I cringe. "I thought you were the one that I'll be with forever but apparently I was being too delusional." I cry at the end.

"B-but it's alright. I'll live through the pain, knowing that I'll never get your heart... Because it wasn't mine from the start." I mumble and walk towards him. He was shocked, I can tell. I bet he thought I wouldn't even come close to him after that.

He freezes with his eyes wide open, like he didn't saw this coming.

I hug him. I fucking hug even after all he has given me; after all the bullshit he has given me; after all the tears that I've wasted on him... I still hug him, knowing that it will be the last time that I'll be able to do that.

He unfreezes himself and hug me back with those same loving arms that I always crawl into when I needed someone. It seems like eternity but it was just a few minutes. Within those few minutes, the rain becomes lesser and lesser until it finally stops; the same time as I let him go.

"Thank you for passing paths with me. You are an amazing person and I guess that's what the A in your name stands for." I say with a soft voice.

"Too bad it also stands for 'asshole'." I shake my head with sadness.

I pat his shoulder then walk away, leaving him alone with his thoughts and the regret that I hope he will feel at the place where we first confessed our love for each other.

I guess the end is where it all started.