She had me pinned between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to tell her. I just wanted to lay everything on the table for her to see that it’s not my fault. Our love is the most important thing to me, and I don’t want to see it be tarnished. The truth is the only thing that will allow that. I know she’ll understand if I tell her, but she might not want to break up. I could tell in her eyes that she didn’t want to.

I won’t ever let you go.

At that moment, she was looking at me like I had just told her that her mother died. It made me want to cry seeing her heart break right before my eyes. She started crying even harder, and I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that I didn’t mean any of it, that I still loved her. I couldn’t do that though. I had to make her believe that I needed this break up. I had to pluck up enough courage to tell her that I what I should’ve told her a long time ago. The rift that was between us was all my fault. Relationships were all about communication. A good relationship can’t be built on secrets, especially ones that I have been keeping. Dark, terrible secrets that would only worry her…

“Why, Draco? Why when we’re so perfect for each other? Look,” she said, standing and grabbing my hand, “Your hand fits perfectly into mine. I love you, Draco, and I said that I won’t let you go. That was a promise, Draco, that I am intending to keep!” she stopped and looked down at my hand, the one she had grabbed a hold of. “Draco, it’s true. What they’ve been saying? Is it true?”

I looked her in the eye. I wanted to tell her that it was, but I couldn’t force the words out of my mouth. Fear gripped my heart for her. If she knew, then he could more easily find out about her. I couldn’t let that happen. I would do anything for my Hanna. I loved her so much. I just couldn’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.

“Answer me!” she yelled. “Draco! Answer me!” she yelled again and again until finally slapping me across the face. “It’s true,” her voice was hushed. “You’re one of them. Why would you keep that from me? Why?! Draco, why!?” she had started yelling once more. “I trusted you!” she yelled over and over again as she hit my chest with her fists.

“Hanna,” I said gently at first before placing my hands on her shoulders. “Hanna Elizabeth Honeyyeager!” I yelled and she finally stopped. Her sobbing grew even more terrible. “Hanna, I -“

What was I supposed to say to her? That I loved her. That I wanted to be with her. That I wanted us to just runaway together and live away from everything that tries to get in between us. I wanted to say all those things to her, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I could say them in my head all I wanted, but my mouth wouldn’t let the words come out. I couldn’t tell her anything. All I could do was stand there and watch her die inside. What was I doing to her?

“Draco,” she whispered through her tears.

Has she ever asked you what you thought about muggleborns?

My breathing became ragged as I realized that Pansy had gotten into my head. Why were her words bothering me? I decided not to believe her back in Hogsmeade earlier. Why now? Why would I think about it at a time like this? Unless…no, it couldn’t be.

“Well, with you being in Slytherin, this just seems like a pretty big deal. How do you feel about muggleborns?” she asked sheepishly.

I looked at her in surprise. I was not expecting that question. Not the slightest bit. It caught me a bit off guard. Why would she ask a question like that?

“You already used your question,” she said, answering what I had not meant to say out loud, “Please answer my question.”

I cleared my throat. “I’ve been taught that it’s not right for muggleborns to be here in the magical world. That they don’t deserve to be here amongst us wizards. Pureblood wizards that is. It would be a blemish on your reputation to even think about being with a muggleborn.”

She sighed. “That’s what you’ve been taught. I want to know how you feel about them. I want to know your own personal belief on this, not your parents.”

“Why do you want to know?” I asked again.

She shook her head. “You already asked your question. Please finish mine.”

I sighed just like she had. “I believe that they can do whatever they please as long as they don’t bother me. They can be in the wizarding world, no problem. Mixing with them. That’s a different story. You can’t mix. You just end up with dirty blood.”

She swallowed hard. “Is that your honest opinion?”

I nodded. “It is.”

She was trying to give me a hint then. Hanna Honeyyeager, the woman that I loved, was a mud- How could I call someone so beautiful such a dirty name? She was a muggleborn, and I was too stubborn to believe that she was. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe. I loved her so much. Love had blinded me to see the truth, to see the clues that she was leaving me. She kept it all inside because of my foolish pureblood pride. I was disgusted with myself at that moment because I didn’t pay attention to Hanna, my Hanna. I put my hand on her cheek, and she smiled into it. I then took it away along with her smile. Tears started to brim her eyes again.

“Draco,” she whispered and reached out for me, but I pulled away. “Draco, I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either,” I said.

“Draco, I –“

“Why did you keep secrets from me?” I found myself saying. “You have no right to question me about why I kept something from you’ve been doing the same thing!”

She backed away from me. “Draco, I –“

“Oh, you know perfectly well what I mean. Don’t play all dumb and innocent like you always do,” I paused and drew in a breath. “I-I know, Hanna.”

“Know what? What are you going on about, Draco?”

“I kn-know that you’re a,” I paused, “mudblood,” I said, shakily.

She bit her lip and nodded. “Yes, I’m a muggleborn, but I would’ve told you eventually. It just never came up in conversation.”

“But you asked me what I thought of them. Why not that night?”

I knew that I was dragging it out, but I couldn’t help it. It was almost as if I was out of my body, watching from the sidelines. I wasn’t controlling my actions. I was doing the exact opposite that I wanted to do. I was ready to tell her everything so I wouldn’t pull her heart out like I was doing at that exact moment.

“You were so awful with your words. You said that muggbleborns were fine as long as they didn’t bother you. I knew that if I would’ve told you that night, you would’ve broken up with me for sure-“

“That’s bull shit, and you know it!” I yelled.

“Draco, no,” she protested and come towards me, but I pushed her away. I pushed her a little too forcefully, and she fell onto the ground.

“I-“ I made to apologize, but I couldn’t. It was almost as if someone didn’t want me to speak. “We’re over, Hanna, and you would do best to remember it. I don’t want you near me ever again. I’m –“ not good for you. “-out of here.”

I walked towards the castle because I couldn’t stand to see the pained look on her face. I just couldn’t see the mess that I made of her. I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t mean for things to get physical. I didn’t mean to push her on the ground. I loved her, and I always will. I turned back and looked at her. She looked awfully sad watching me walk away. More than sad actually, distraught.

“I love you,” I whispered before turning my back on her. “You’re the only one for me.”