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Pain. Pain and misery is all I felt since he's gone. He made me fall in love with him in two weeks. In two weeks he showed me apart of him he never showed anyone else and he made me feel like I was special.

Now he's gone. Without a word or trace he left me, alone. You may judge me because I knew him in so little time, but don't judge me until you understand me. You won't understand anything until your in that current situation, if you asked me a year ago if I would fall in love with a person in two weeks, I would've thought you were crazy. I've realized though the only crazy thing, is me. I'm crazy for him and only him.

I've never questioned God, but in this moment I am. Why did he leave? Was it because of something I did? I've asked myself these questions for hours on end. It was like one moment he was there and when I turned around he wasn't there anymore. I turned around and he wasn't there, for me. He told me he was damaged, I was there for him the whole time but when I need him he disappears. I was the light in his darkness but he was my darkness in my light. But then I ask myself "Why do I still love him?" Even though he hurt me.

I came to the conclusion that we love people that hurt us the most. We take for granted the people that are always there because we know they will always be there. But we want the people that hurt us because they put us on a high, a high we can only get from them. And we are addicted. Addiction comes in all shapes and sizes and I believe we can be addicted to people too.

I've questioned God and what he's doing. Why did he bring him in my life if he was just going to leave me broken in pieces? Why did I fall in love with him so fast? Then when I don't get my answers I become angry with God. When we have no one to blame, we blame God. 'Cause in sinners' eyes he can't justify himself but what we don't understand is he already has in many ways. My reason, as of now, is gone. I'm unstable right now my common sense is gone and replaced with irrationality. I'm not thinking straight, so I'm blaming God. In many ways I know it's wrong but I need someone to blame so I blame him because I know even if I do he will always forgive me and be there for me no matter what. So I take God for granted. I take him for granted because he will always be there, it's not right but it's the truth and we are all guilty of it.

I never took "him" for granted though. I was there for him and loved him. And he acted liked he felt the same. Did you see what I did there I said "acted" because If he really loved me he would've never left me, he would have found a way to stay. He didn't though and now I know I was toyed with he played me like a puppet. The scary part about it all is if he came back I would welcome him in opening arms. That's the unnerving thing about addiction, no matter how bad they treat and leave us, we always take them back.

"Ms. Caverly." The pharmacist, called my name holding my white prescription bottle. I got out of my seat and deep thought and grabbed a bottle but not before mumbling a soft thank you.

I got in my car and took out the bottle popped two pills into my mouth. I read the label "Antidepressants" and instantly became sick with myself. Is this really how the people you love leave you? He left me, with my depression and misery to deal with, alone. What he's done is unforgivable but even now I love him. Forever and always.

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This is Heavens POV if you didn't notice.

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