I heard a knock on the door as I lied on the bed looking out the window. "Come in."

  James walked through the door a wide grin on his face.

"Hello beautiful, how are you?"

I turned over across my shoulder at him and his wide smile. I smiled back happy to see me friend smile. He frowned though knowing my smile wasn't genuine. His eyebrows pulled together in a worried expression.

"Heaven...you okay? You want to talk about him." He let out a tired sigh running his fingers over his face. I pulled myself next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Of course not. I'm fine, I told you that. I'm a little saddened I really liked him, James, but I'm not stuck on him. I feel like I can finally move on with you, please don't bring him up. It's going to take me a while to totally get over him but I can do it but only with you by my side." I hugged his side as he put his face in my hair. I love him. I really did but not as much as Justin. I felt a draw to him like no one else. I honestly wish I could move on but my mind wouldn't let me, it made me remember every bittersweet beautiful short-lived memories Justin and I had. I wish I could love James like he did me. Life, though, isn't so satisfying it chooses to make everything so complicated.

  "I love you Heaven. I really do and I always will. And I'm finally glad your moving on from him." He kissed me on the side of my face and got up and left the room. I watched as he went and wished all the words I said were true. I knew in my heart I was lying through my teeth but I was in such denial I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I honestly wanted to believe I could move on. I wished I knew why I felt so drawn to Justin. I've never been so attached and clingy to a guy before. I felt as if by some kind of twisted fate me and Justin belonged together.

I loathed being alone with my thoughts it was a type of abhorrent thing that could kill you. Thoughts kill and so does hope. You always hope that things can get better and that alone is a death sentence. I disliked when I thought dreadful thoughts and scenarios but in the dark of the night I couldn't control my thinking on bit.

I closed my eyes begging for sleep. And finally it came.

I woke up to rustling leaves. I looked up and found I wasn't at home at all. "Where the hell am I." I thought aloud. This can't be possible I was in my bed just a minute ago. I got up from the grass that I was lying in.

As I got up I realized I wasn't in my pajamas anymore. I was encased in beautiful jewelry all around my neck. I felt it as I stared down in awe. This wasn't-couldn't be a dream. Not like this. I knew what a dream felt like but this all felt to real.

I walked in the grass it looked so beautiful and well-kept. It was so green though, I was starting to feel like I was in a fairytale. I kept on walking in the grass until I came to two different paths. It was very...odd. It was like a dead end either I take one of these paths or I would just be sitting in a clearing with nothing but grass.

One of the paths was as green as the grass I'm standing on. It was beauteous and lively. The path looked welcoming and safe.

  That wasn't the only path though. There was another, it was purple. The path was so majestic and intriguing my feet were walking towards it as my mouth was drawn in complete awe.

I walked down the beautiful majestic path, it was so surreal. I closed my eyes and spun around and for once my thoughts were calmed. In that moment I was so happy and at ease for the first time in a long time.

I kept walking down the path and slowly started to see the path ahead of me changing colors. And then the next thing I saw made me question of this was reality.

  Fairies? They were everywhere. All swarming around me with their loving smiles. I touched one of them and she smiled down at me. This all was so surreal. I grinned as more of them came. Then all of them abruptly scattered as a loud sound erupted through the forest. The sound kept on getting closer but I didn't know which way it was coming from. I looked up to see a creature out of this world.

I screamed to the top of my lungs. I've never seen a creature like this in my life. I couldn't even think. The creature was nearing towards me but my feet were frozen in place it's like I couldn't move. My mind was telling my body to move but my body wouldn't comply. I was standing there waiting for the creature to end me I couldn't put a fight why try. The creature neared me and I closed my eyes waiting for the pain to but I never did. I opened my eyes as a saw thorns separating me and the creature. The creature scattered away like a chicken on fire. (A/n I legit just made that up on the top of head. Just go with it lmfao)

  This had to be a dream because with  each passing moment it was getting more bazaar. I turned around, exasperated with the passing events, and was taken by surprise once again.

"Hello." The woman said. I was still looking at her with confusion and awe. She had wings! She had an odd resemblance to a movie I saw when I was a child.

"Who are you?" I asked alarmed. I don't know where the hell I was or what but I honestly wish I would wake up.

"The real question is who are you. This is my kingdom, what brings you here?" She asked her head held up high and he wings tucked in her side. I kept on pinching myself waiting to wake up but I never did. So for the mean time I guess I will play along.

"I'm Heaven Waverly and I don't know why I'm here. I was hoping you could explain that to me." She smiled and motioned for me to follow her, which I did. She scared me but in a way she saved my life or dream life so I guess she's pretty safe, right?

We went deeper into the forest and it was even more magical. It was like a opened a story book and hopped in. This was all out of this world.

  "This land is beautiful isn't it." She stopped walking and she stood beside me as I took in the enchanted land.

  "It is. May I ask what your name is?" I looked at her taking in her strong and profound cheekbones.

  "You already know who I am." She said looking at me, mesmerizing me with her bewitching eyes. She started walking again taking such long strides it was hard for me to keep up with her.

  "This land is my treasure. It's what I love and desire most. Isn't it the same with you? Isn't this land what you desire?" Her questions took me off guard and made me think. I felt as if what she was asking has a deeper meaning.

  "It is beyond perfect. It is something I well desire but I desire a lot of things." She looked at me and smiled. She took my hand in hers and whispered to me, "I have something special to show you."

  I followed her and was very anxious for what she had to show me. We came to a fascinating lake or water source. I was without words, it was so different nothing I've ever seen. I couldn't compare a diamond the a rock so why even try to explain this. I was speechless and also dumbfound because I had not idea what it was.

"Beautiful isn't it?" She looked at me as I gazed down in amazement.

"It's more than beautiful. This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life!" She looked at me and smiled. She got to her feet and gazes downward.

"You know this doesn't have to be the last time you see it. You can stay down here forever with me. We can both be so happy together. And it can just us in this beautiful land and we can always be happy and never grow old. Immortality with me and all this." She said gesturing all around her. One thing I knew though was that everything comes with a price.

"What's the catch? There has to be something you want from me. What is it?"

"Your soul. Just give me your soul and we can be happy together. We will-"

"Hold on. My soul! What kind of question is that. Of course I want my soul. I would never give you that." I got up quickly and tried to run but she grabbed me and spun me around with a ungodly force.

"You ungrateful bitch! I give you the world and I ask for one thing and you can't even comply. You know what since it's such a bad offer then why don't I give you another. Either you give it to me or you die." She was seething. I backed away carefully trying to not provoke the ordeal any further. She looked at me and I knew what she was going to do before she did it. She raised her hand in an upward motion as a green aura started to come from it.

  "Has that answer changed, my dear?" Before I could say or even think anything I was interrupted by another voice.

  "Calm down being melodramatic doesn't suit you." I turned around and say the women addressing the other. She looked completely over me like I wasn't there. To say the least her beauty was just as captivating as the other.

  "Why should I? We need it!" She looked at me with such anger if looks could kill I would be dead three times over.

  "You know we will get it soon but you must be patient."

What the hell were they talking about? Before I could think of words once again I was interrupted but this time it was a male voice.

"Ladies, ladies would you stop with the theatrics your scaring her." He smiled at me. "Such the illusionary let's see who they really are." With a wave of his hand everything was gone. The beautiful land turned to flames. Flames were everywhere. It was so hot I could barely breathe.

"Where are they?" I asked looking at he mysterious man. He looked unaffected by all the heat whereas I was already drowning in my own sweat.

"They are right over there." I pointed to a pair of demonized creature. There skin was as black as tar and their eyes as red as the fire surrounding me. I was so scared and confused I couldn't scream. That's the scariest part. Have you ever been so petrified you couldn't scream?

"What.. What happened to them?" He chucked and smiled at me.

  "So pure so naive," He took a he blew out his smoke. "You finally saw them for who they really were. They were never those girls' you made that up. I provided the room and you made the illusion. Those are demons not people but you made them into people."

  Wait what? "I'm confused. What do you mean I made it up? How am I the illusionist?"

  He shook his head and smiled. "Classic Heaven such the fool. You live in such a Fool's Paradise, it's kind of entertaining."

  "What? Your confusing me. What's a Fool's Paradise and how did I make this up?"

  "It's a state of happiness based on your denial, Heaven. There's something in your life that you are denying even though deep down you know it's true. Instead of trying to fix it or even accept it you chose to live a Fool's Paradise, pretending that everything is okay when everything is going straight to hell, literally. You made this. I gave you a room and bam you made the show. You created the world you desire. You created someone that wanted you. All your life you've always been needed but never once wanted. You created what you desired and  ding ding ding you got it." He walked forward leaning on a burning desk. How he wasn't even encased in flames yet was beyond me.

  "So basically your saying I created all of what I just experienced because I desired it? And how do you know my name." I stood a far distance from him it was so hot in here.

  "Oh come on Heaven. You know exactly who I am. Don't act like you don't know me. I'm what you pray to that God of yours that you will never see."

  "So what your telling me your Satan now?" I couldn't and refused to believe this. This was all just a dream.

  "In the flesh baby! Damn you don't even look the least bit impressed or happy to see me. Wow for a minute I almost cared." He smirked and grinned.

  "And for a minute I almost thought of you the least bit interesting. Why am I here? What do you want?"

  "The question is what do you want? What is the desire your heart wants most? Whatever it is I can give it to you."

  "Okay so what? If I tell you the desire of my heart you will give it to me?"

  "Yes. I will."

  He really thinks I believe him. He's worst then a serpent I don't trust him. "What's the catch?"

  "The catch is nothing. Just shake my hand and all your dreams will come true."

  I looked at his hand and saw inky black markings. He looked as if he's been branded. What if he was telling the truth though. I could finally be happy and all he needed was for me to shake his hand.

  "I know, I know free will is a bitch. You have these decisions and deep down you know which one is right and which one is wrong but you always choose the latter. Be honest with yourself you knew the green path was safe and welcoming it was something you were familiar with but you chose the exotic path the path you knew was wrong but you was so intrigued you didn't listen to your inside thoughts. It's like this you know something is wrong yet you chose to do it and have the courtesy to blame me. I didn't even have to lift a finger y'all make my job so much easier by destroying yourself. Your in such grave denial Heaven but yet you still choose to not accept it, to accept the fact that you are hurting. It's like putting a bandaid on broken ribs. You can't do it. Your broken internally yet you try and fix it externally is can't happen. Once again free will is a bitch, eh. "

"You rather have someone else to make your decisions so you can have someone to blame when things go wrong. Am I right or am I right."

Sadly everything he said was true. I was in denial about Justin and my love for him. "So if I shake your hand you can take me pain away?" I asked a tear slipping down my face.

"Yes I can. Come here don't be afraid. Embrace it."

I reached out my hand to shake his when-

"Heaven! What the fuck are you doing? Baby please get off the balcony! Heaven baby look at me! Don't jump please!"

I looked at me feet that wee standing on the ledge I looked over my shoulder to see James in hysterics and tears trying to get me to come down. What in the hell happened. I thought I was dreaming but in many ways I wasn't. I jumped into James arms as he cried.

"Heaven he almost took from me, oh god! Heaven you scared the shit out of me don't do that ever again! Have you been taking your pills? Baby we've got to start taking you back to your therapist, this isn't good. I almost lost you! What the hell were you thinking!" James was holding me so tight I I thought he might break me.

"James, you've got to trust me when I say I was dreaming! You know I wouldn't do anything this-this irrational." James ignored my protest and carried my bridal style to the bathroom. He laid me on the tile floor and started running bath water in the tub. He looked dead. He eyes were blood shot and tear stained. He looked mentally and physically drained.

"James, do you think I'm crazy?" What he thought about me actually mattered I didn't want him to start thinking I'm suicidal because his dad is my therapist and that would cause a whole lot of trouble.

"Aren't we all?" He turned and picked up off of the floor and set me on the bathroom counter. He looked me in the eyes as he took off my shirt and kissed me. And that's when everything changed and I knew I would never be the same again.

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Tah DAH I'm finished. This chapter took me all day! I haven't updated cause I've been so busy with track and life period. Anywho how is everyone?

Thoughts on this chapter?

Do you think it was all just a dream or do you think it was real?

How do you feel about her suicide attempt ? Do you think that was real or was she tricked- in a way?

How do you feel about heaven?

How do you feel about James?

How do you feel about her dream / or reality dream or whatever?

How do you feel about this chapter?

Other thoughts?

Thank you for reading. 💜