Drugs. Drugs is what you get addicted to. They are the bad things your parents warn you to stay away from. But my drug isn't your typical substance, it's an emotion. An emotion I can never have, forever. I had happiness for the first time in my life and I was already addicted, it was my drug I craved for. You never know how much your addicted to something until you start thinking about the affect it had on you, and how you yearn for that feeling again. Happiness is a drug I will long for forever.

Happiness is what everyone wants, despite what they say. Happiness is beautiful, it's what brings people together. Happiness represents love, family, and unity. What we don't realize is happiness is tied to everything, its heavily tied in the complicated knots of our lifes. Happiness is what makes us smile and want live another day in this forsaken world. It makes everything worthwhile, that's why I wanted it. I wanted my life to have meaning and happiness. I wanted their to be a reason why I'm here, and I wanted happiness to be my guide and show me that. Everyone got to be happy but me, it was my forbidden fruit and I was Eve. Wanting and yearing for something I can't have. But like Eve once I had everything I craved for, my world would turn upside and ruin everything I ever wanted. But to have happiness we have to have a little bad, so when we finally get happiness we will value it more. Happiness is like the reflective light of the sun, some days it beams and other days its clouded, but when the beams break through the clouds there is a overwhelming feeling of contentment and joyfulness.

Death, is what some people run towards and what others look away from. Death is inevitable, you can't escape it no matter how hard you try. Death is what I call home. Its what I see everyday and what I live in. My home is what people fear and look down upon but it's my home. You won't understand me because you aren't me. I'm not asking for your pity or for you to understand me. For once in my life I'm asking for you to just listen to me. Everyone frowns upon me because who my dad is but I can't help that I was born to a man that was wicked and corrupted. I wasn't asked to be born, none of us were. I had no choices, no one let me choose what path I wanted to take; light or darkness. Even if I had a choice I would choose death, its what I'm familiar with. Death is my home rather I like it or not it's where my family is and I choose to stay. I couldn't let these newfound emotions fuck me up. My father asked me one thing and I'm going to do it. Some of you might wonder why I just don't act better or try to be good, and its because not matter what I do, I'm the villain. I'm the one kids have nightmares over and they pray for me to stay away. Even if i attempted to be good, no one would believe in me. I'm the villain and the villains never get there happy ending.

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This is what Justin looks like in the book. He has the gauges and tattoos and everything.

   How do you like it?

Do you like this chapter or not?

How do you feel about the way Justin feels?

Do you think what he feels is true?

Predictions...

Do you ship him and heaven or not?

Do you think heaven will ever find out the true him?

I was very ify about thus chapter, so I hope you like it,

Thanks for reading!!!!!