You stop, faltering at the sight of him as chaos erupts around you both. He looks up, hands twitching at his side. It's like time has paused when you both stare at each other for the first time in a long time.

And Taehyung smiles softly at your now clean appearance. "Y/N," he says, beginning to walk across the room to you. You watch him as he makes four long strides towards you, closing the gap between you two. "It's been a long time."

Your heart begins to pound in what you hoped to be muscle memory as you stare blankly at the man. Your lips move and your brain blunders,

"T-taehyung."

His eyes glistened and you hated how they seemed to pour out every single emotion that you had spent years numbing yourself to.

It was a painful process trying to forget those particular brown eyes. You wondered countlessly over the years, if even at one single moment after you left, if he felt desperate, resigned, angry, hopeless, useless and/or hurt over it.

Because you did almost everyday for years.

But now, as you both stand in a busy Emergency Department staring at each other as if someone had paused time, you don't know what to exactly feel because it looks like he's feeling all of those feelings at once.

And you feel no sympathy for him as you watch it happen, but you do feel angry that he's standing in front of you right now and he looks completely okay.

That he looks completely fine.

Because it's not fair at all when you've got wounds time never completely healed, dehiscenced waiting for some closure from him.

You never got time to heal.

But he had all the time in the world.

"Y/N," he says, surging forward. "I can't believe it's you."

You don't respond.

Your eyes dart into his; your mouth unsure of what to even say.

How do they do this in the movies?

Taehyung looked different. His hair sat comfortably on top of his eyebrows, styled in a fashion that made him look mature; his jaw was sharp, his cheeks had chiselled out, no baby fat in sight. He looked polished. His lips and his eyes and his nose and his ears and his freckles, were all the time but he looked almost unrecognisable to you, standing here right now.

He looked like a stranger.

And it was a comforting thought up until the memory of your last words to each other begin to fog your brain. He was no stranger, he lived in the special part of your heart every time you looked at Sunny.

How could he ever be a stranger?

You take a deep breath, overcome by the moment that threatens to tear you apart again, as you cut your eye contact with him and look away.

Ignoring the feeling of panic in your chest, you turn and walk in the opposite direction and straight towards the sink on the wall. If you look like you're busy, he won't talk to you and you'll be free of awkward conversations, right?

Wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks following closely behind you, and you have a sinking feeling that you're going to hear that a million times tonight. "I thought of you immediately when I got the call about your hospital. I've been looking for you all damn night, are you hurt?"

You look back up at him briefly, biting your bottom lip as the water turns cold over your hands. He stares at you, a sudden expression of longing flickers briefly across his face as he leans against the wall beside you.

You don't miss it as you turn away from him again, concentrating on the feeling of cold soapy water on your dirty hands as you will yourself to calm down by focusing on scrubbing the dirt off.

"I'm fine, I just ...I didn't think we'd ever see each other again. So, excuse me for being a little bit shocked by your appearance." you say steadily. You contain your emotions, a clusterfuck of nerves and fear that threaten to explode all over him.

The thing is, the last time you had seen him, he had watched you walk out of his life. Mother on his right side, future wife on the left. Good riddance, one of them had said. It will be all okay in the end, the other had said. Taehyung had continued to cry. You continued to walk away.

"Well," he sighs. Your heart begins to pound out of your skin, sudden anger poisoning your blood, asphyxiating your breath as the memories scream through the fog in your brain. "If it's any consolation, I knew I'd see you again. It's been the strangest night and I have a feeling it's only to get stranger."

"What?" You look into the sink, watching the dirt and the blood go down the drain. This was all so wrong. "You knew you'd see me again?"

"Don't get me wrong," He whispers, unable to take his eyes from your face. "It's not like I didn't want to see you ...it's just ...I knew. I can't explain it, I woke up today and felt like today would be different and then it hit me, you. I'd be seeing you again."

"What are you saying Taehyung?" You ask again, his name leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. He bites his bottom lip before whispering in response. "I'm saying, I think this is fate, us meeting again."

There's a weird silence between you as he looks you up and down.

"Did I hear you correctly? Fate?" You turn the tap off on when the water runs clear and your hands look and feel clean. "Things happen randomly all the time for no reason at all."

"I just mean that fate brought us together, who knows what the universe is trying to tell us Y/N."

Sighing at his comment, you turn the tap off. Grabbing some paper towels to dry your hands, you sigh again. "Look, I'm going to say this as bluntly as I can manage in this situation," You tear your eyes away from him and in favour of anything else in the room as you throw the wet paper towels in the bin. "I don't want to think about our past when I should be helping people right now."

He says nothing.

"And, my life is not your children's book. Please, stop romanticising our past. We're adults now, start acting like one."

He frowns.

"You used to believe in that kind of stuff too," He stares at you, his eyes willing to dig themselves deeper into your skin as he tries to figure you out. "What happened to you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Taehyung puts his hands on his hips as he hangs his head, waiting for your answer. "You. You happened to me."

He closes his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's too late for this conversation."

"It's never too late for these kind of conversations," He opens his eyes, surging forward. You don't move. You look up at him. He towers over you. "Y/N, I'll always be sorry. Always."

You don't say anything.

You hate him.

You hate him so much it's crazy how hard your heart is pounding trying to rip through your skin and strangle him.

"I can't do this with you. I need to go. I need to be far away from you and Yoongi needs me." You push past him, shoving his shoulder as you do it. That wasn't how he had imagined his reunion with you at all.

"Yoongi needs me too you know!" he shouts as he follows at a safe distance behind you. He knows it's immature, but he can't help it.

You both walk towards the hub, in the middle of the department, where Yoongi is usually stationed. "Literally, just do a walk of the department so we don't have to be in the same room togeth-

-woah." Taehyung interrupts as you both come to halt at the empty ED hub where Yoongi is shamelessly making out with Jimin against the filing cabinet in the nurse's office.

It's passionate, and you're bashfully watching beside Taehyung as Yoongi tangles his fingers into Jimin's hair, pulling his head back, pushing him up against the door of his office. You raise your hand up to Taehyung's face, shielding his eyes from seeing it as Jimin tries to rip off Yoongi's coat with one hand and open the door with the other. You've seen this plenty of times at your home, the boys were inseparable when together. "Guys-

Taehyung begins, but you slap the hand covering his eyes onto his mouth, he stares at you deliriously. What? "Can you imagine what they've just gone through? Yoongi might've thought Jimin was dead. Have some empathy?"

Taehyung slowly blinks at you, unable to scream out that he knows exactly what that feels like because he just spent the last hour wondering where you were.

You put a single finger over your lips as Jimin opens the door, you look over at the two as they fall onto his office floor in a mess of tangled limbs. The doors left wide open as they roll onto the carpet and you drop your hand from Taehyung's mouth.

Walking over to the office, you kick Yoongi's feet from the doorway to close the door for them. Yoongi looks up, lips swollen and hair dishevelled. "Ah, thanks Y/N. Triage ribbons are on the desk, start-

Jimin moans underneath him and you cringe. "Ribbons are on the desk for triage got it, ew can you guys be quick, I can't believe you're doing this in the middle of an emergency. Both of you are negligent and gross."

"What the..." Taehyung says mindlessly, Jimin looks over Yoongi's shoulder to wink at Taehyung. Taehyung blushes, looking away again, coughing into his fist as he does it.

"Oh fuck off Y/N," Yoongi snorts, positioning himself between Jimin's thighs. "Just because you're chronically single and haven't been laid in decades, doesn't mean everyone else is joining your nunnery."

Taehyung stands up straighter. What? Single? Nunnery? No one snatched you up?

"I'll see you out there with Dr. Xiumin Y/N." Jimin giggles, rubbing his fingers over Yoongi's back, pulling Yoongi's attention back onto him again. You slam the door closed when Yoongi loudly growls at Jimin.

You shiver in disgust.

"I can't unsee that," you comment to yourself but Taehyung laughs, and the sound jostles you again. You snap your head in his direction. "Do you mind not following me? You stay on the East side of the department and I'll stay on the West-

"I can't do that, you're on my trauma team according to Yoongi anyway," he shifts on his feet, an awkward expression on his face. "Plus, you don't have any clearance to work here."

"Taehyung," you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. "You're so annoying. I am legislated by the medical council to attend to all disaster emergencies in the nearest hospital, regardless of clearance. I have as much right to work here as you do."

"That may be right," He nods hesitantly. "But I bet you don't know where anything is, so I can show you-

"I know the geography of this Emergency Department like the back of my goddamn hands," you shout, slapping your hands down on a box of ribbons and picking them up more vigorously than intended. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to put ribbons on people so I can stay far away from you."

"You haven't met Dr. Alice yet though, she's our team's psychiatrist-

"-don't talk to me for goodness sake! Recognise that this is difficult for me and be fucking empathetic," you snap. "I can find her and introduce myself to her on my own! I don't need you, leave me alone."

But he doesn't give up. "Our teams in the trauma bay tonight, if you were wond-

-go take a long walk off a short pier Taehyung. You can triangulate my triage with the rest of your team when I'm done."

He watches you push past him, ponytail flicking obnoxiously side to side when a strange emotion begins to bubble in his chest. He rubs his hand over his heart, feeling it ache underneath his hand. He swallows the lump in his throat as he tears his eyes away from your back.

He feels the ice in his soul melt, dripping life back into his mind and his body. An awakening feeling only you were able to give him. So, he smiles sincerely for the first time in a long time despite everything that just transpired because hating him means you still care.

And there is no way in hell, he ever stopped caring about you too.

After putting coloured ribbons on people and triaging them by their injuries, you walk back into the hub. EMT run past you, carrying tent equipment, boxes of bandages, and boxes of their own triage ribbons.

The available Emergency staff began setting up tents outside. Yoongi had ordered a primary triage system that identified patients who were at serious risk and those who were non-urgent, turning them away in fear of the hospital reaching full capacity.

"Y/N," Seokjin runs up to you, perspiration dripped down his face. "We need some help. When you're done with your patients in here and you have time, please come outside."

You nod, patting him on his back."Sure Jin, I'll see you out there after I'm done."

He smiles, squeezing your shoulder. "Hang in there sista, we've got this. We'll be okay."

You watch him run back outside.

"I hope we'll be okay."

Dropping the box of ribbons onto the desk next to a squabbling nurse, you laugh at Jimin as he winks at you. "Min, I think you scared Taehyung."

Yoongi rolls his eyes, sagging against the desk in front of you. "Who fucking cares, that little rat has been a mess all night. Bet he loved the little show."

"Oh yeah, was gonna ask. Who was that guy?" Jimin brushes his hair back, biting his lip. "He's cute, do you know him Y/N?"

"How have you not met Tae?" Yoongi asks Jimin. He shrugs. "I only have eyes for you?"

Yoongi winks.

Jimin blushes.

"I used to know him," you nod, yawning into your palm. "I don't know, people change after medical school."

Yoongi and Jimin share a moment of confusion, frowning as they look back at you. "You had friends in school? What the fuck?"

"Yes, of course I did?" you stare at them, eyebrow cocked. "You thought I didn't have friends?"

"Obviously," Jimin laughs into his as he leans against Yoongi. "She had Sunny in medical school babe, of course she had friends."

"Oh, true. Maybe Taehyung knows who Sunny's father is then so we can sue him for parental rights," Yoongi means it as a joke but it doesn't register as one in your body. Sunny and Taehyung in the same sentence? It was too close for comfort. "I don't know why I haven't asked, he did talk about you before ...I just never really cared about anything that pussy bitch talked about. He smiles too much."

"Is that a problem?" Jimin asks and Yoongi laughs.

"Never trust anything someone says with a smile," he says and you frown. "I love Tae but he has secrets and a shit load of issues."

You pale.

"Yah," Jimin slaps Yoongi's chest, craftily distracting him from picking up your body language like he just did. "Shut up. You have issues too."

You smile at Jimin as he flicks Yoongi's forehead.

"Did you just flick me? After I just did that thing to you?" Yoongi shouts, wrapping his around his waist and flicking his forehead back. Jimin blushes and he's about to retort when a nurse interrupts, letting you know that Dr. Xiumin was looking for you and Jimin.

Yoongi lets Jimin go reluctantly and you quickly pull Jimin away. "Ignore him Y/N, men are trash."

"What about you?" you grin.

"Don't include me," Jimin links his arm with yours tightly. "I'm your best friend, I'm different."

"Stop it, you're an asshole too," He laughs loudly, a cute little chuckle and squeak that makes you grin, as he throws his head back. "But a cute asshole, so, stop it."

"I'm only an asshole by osmosis, I promise," He pouts, squeezing you. "I feel strangely manic right now, is this a normal reaction during these types of things?"

You roll your eyes as you let him pull on your arm. "It can be. Everyone's different but I definitely would be particularly manic too if my boyfriend boned me during an emergency at work."

He winks at you as he lets your arm go. "You could always date Dr. Xiumin? He's been crushing on you for years Y/N, you should give him a go."

You cringe as you shake your head. "He reminds me too much of a little brother."

Jimin cringes too. "Well, I'd let you borrow Yoongi but-

"-ew, no thank you," you cut in and Jimin laughs again. "I love you and I'm close with you but definitely, not that close to you."

He shakes his shoulders cutely as you both walk to Dr. Xiumin with grins across your faces. Jimin had the unique ability to make people smile and feel good about themselves, it was a reason why he made such a good nurse.

He just knew you so well but as you open the door, the smile on your face is swiped clean off your face.

"What is he doing in here?" you ask, faltering at the door to the congressman's room. Taehyung is staring at you over the clipboard as he stops observing the patient, clearly confused at your presence too.

His checks grow in an ugly shade of pink.

"What?" Dr. Xiumin laughs awkwardly before shuffling over to you. "Taehyung's the orthopaedic reg. We need his help."

"How many orthopaedic registrars are on right now?" you ask and Taehyung looks between you and Xiumin. Jimin stays silence as walks over to the patient to reassess vitals.

"Um ...three?" he says.

You sigh, rubbing your face in thought. "Right fine. Of course, out of every doctor it just had to be you in here. Great. Just great." You close the door behind you as you walk towards the far wall where all of his x-rays are hung up under a bright light. You fold your arms over your chest as you observe each and every one.

"Is that a problem?" Taehyung asks, irritation in his voice. "Should I leave?"

"You can do whatever you want, you've been good at that up and until now anyway," you comment, rubbing the back of your neck as you stretch the kinks out of it. "I don't care. I don't care what you do"

"There's blood behind your ear, are you sure you didn't get hurt?" he asks, and you smack the back of your hand behind it. Jimin brings over a piece of gauze and some saline, dabbing it behind your ear.

"I did but that's not why I'm in this room. How's he doing Dr. Xiumin?" you deflect.

"He's good for now. Let me know what you see in those x-rays Y/N, could use with a pair of fresh eyes," Closing his clipboard, Xiumin coughs into his fist. "Do you two perhaps know each other?"

"Weird, get this," Jimin saunters back over to the patient, curiously watching your interaction. "They went to school together Xiumin!"

"I'm glad he's stable," You ignore his question as you raise your pen to one x-ray. "How are you going to treat the fracture at proximal 1/3rd distal end of his left radius and the fracture on the midshaft of his left ulna Taehyung? Backslab? No surgery?"

Taehyung walks up behind you, hands folded behind him as he observes the x-rays too. "Yeah probably just conservative management, elevation and backslabbing the upper limb looks like the best option for him right now."

You nod, looking at the other x-rays. "These look promising! There's no intracranial blood visualised on any of these x-rays, definitely no focal brain parenchymal lesions either."

Taehyung watches your side profile. "He's honestly good, just open exposing deformities on his lower limbs and the fractures in his left arm. His vitals dropped a moment ago, blood pressure was too damn low so I transfused some blood. It's going well," he says, turning back to the patient, you follow him to the bedside. "Just a litre of blood now and his blood pressure is improving. I washed down the chin and chest abrasions with some saline. I put a chest drain in too, just because I could hear a collection around his lungs, he's doing really good."

"You're really efficient Taehyung," Dr. Xiumin muses, putting his thumbs up. "Isn't he Y/N?"

"I wouldn't go as far as to calling him that but he's handled this patient well," You smile awkwardly, desperately wanting to leave this room. "Hey, where's Irene?"

"She's getting treated for her injuries, I actually thought you'd be doing the same..." Dr. Xiumin admits, "I'd help but I have to monitor this guy, have you been checked?"

"I have," you admit, "Yoongi dressed my wounds well."

"Have you had something to drink or eat?" Xiumin asks.

"About to do that." you sigh, turning to Taehyung, you pass him the rest of the patients information. "Here, he's yours now. I don't see why he should be down here any longer. Transfer him up to the orthopaedic ward if you still have beds. I'm going to go out and help."

"You shouldn't be out like this," Taehyung frowns at you again. "Y/N, you should be resting-

-can you stop already? Don't tell me what I should and should not be doing," you interrupt, clenching your fists so hard, your knuckles turn white. You don't care if Jimin sees you explode, if Dr. Xiumin starts connecting the dots and then asking question. You don't care. "You of all people do not have the right to give a damn about me."

"I'm just trying to help you-

-can you fuck off for a second please? I don't mean to cuss but man you make me so angry," you whimper, walking towards the door. "I can look after myself, I've been doing it for a long time now. Anything else you need Xiumin?"

He shakes his head, nervously looking between you and Taehyung.

"Good," you smile. "I'll be outside in triage. If you need me in trauma, I'll come and find you."

You slam the door as you leave.

"Right, well, it's going to be a long night," Jimin frowns, staring daggers at the boy who makes his best friend an emotive mess. He's never seen you like that before.

Taehyung grows rigid as both boys stare at him from behind, it was unsettling having you treat him like this but he deserved it.

Oh boy, did he deserve it.

↣ HOUR 4 - 5 | POST-EXPLOSION

In the 4th hour post-explosion, three more wards are cleared to accept patients from ED. The Children's Hospital and Saint Marys General Hospital have both been closed off for unknown reasons. As a result, everyone has been de-routed to Seoul Hearts.

And all Forest Lakes doctors are sent to Seoul Hearts to help.

Pushing the stretcher out from the dark of night, you listen to Seokjin as he gives you a quick handover of the patient. "21 year old male, brought in to the Children's Hospital, wrong place at the wrong time kind of case. Responsive and complaining of pain in his left leg but unable to provide a history given the circumstances."

"He was in the library at his university studying before his finals when a shelf fell on him, he was on route to Forest when everything turned to shit. Was triaged as low risk in Children's and now he's here," Dr. Hoseok announces, pushing his stretcher with you straight into the trauma bay. "He's combative, has a psychiatric history, hence why I am here and why he's restrained to the handrails of the stretcher."

You honestly hadn't even noticed his arms had been tied to the bed. "You restrained him? Hold on, we don't restrain people here it's against their human rights. Take them off."

"Let me get something straight with you," Hoseok holds up his hand like a stop sign, halting the movement of the stretcher. "I too like to treat patients in the least restrictive way possible in hopes that this person can live with or without symptoms of mental illness while making a positive contribution to society BUT he attacked four nurses at the last hospital causing serious injuries so I restrained him for your safety."

"Well in that case, restrain away," you snort, punching his shoulder. "Thanks for that. Glad you're safe Hobi."

"Now you appreciate me?" He rolls his eyes at you, "Good to see you're okay physically. I'll come see you after all of this to have a look at you mentally."

"Are you asking me out on a date Hoseok?"

He winks at you. "Yes. My office. After this. You in my leather chair while I assess your mental health status."

"Oooh, sexy." you shimmy your shoulders.

"I assure you my love, it will be anything but sexy." he promises.

"Team," Blood dripped down the sides of his stretcher. "I hate to ruin this beautiful reunion but there's blood everywhere and you guys are moving it too slowly."

Hoseok swoops back into action, pushing the stretcher faster into the department.

"What are his vitals?" you ask and Taehyung runs up behind you, steering the stretcher into a trauma bay room.

"He has a low grade temperature 37.4, HR of 163 bpm, bp 144/67 mmhg, RR 14 breaths/min and sats are 99% on room air," Seokjin says, as Taehyung grabs a bed, pushing it up against one side of the stretcher. "He's vitally stable."

You untie the bands, restraining him to the bed. "Hoseok, what do we do about the restraints? He still combative?"

"I gave him a sedative, he should be fine for now but I highly recommend that you put him in a room on his own and with a psychiatric watch, he's one strong gentlemen."

Jimin runs into the room with a bag of fluids in his hand, hanging it on the IV pole. "Where's all the blood coming from?"

Hoseok winces as he gestures to the patients chest and thighs. "You'll see soon enough Jimin, nice to see you're okay as well."

Jimin smiles at him. "You too Hobi."

"Ready for transfer?" Taehyung asks. You and Hoseok stand on the side of his stretcher, quickly rolling him to their side as Sana and Taehyung slip a transfer sheet and board under him. The patient screams out in pain as you gently place him back onto his back. Taehyung and Sana roll him to their side, as you pull out the sheet.

"I thought you said you had sedated him?" you frown, looking back at Hoseok.

Hoseok nods, crossing his arms over his chest, propping a fist under his chin. "Y/N, I did. He's strong."

"He'll be okay," Sana smiles, putting him on his back. "Hey, you're going to be okay, hang in there buddy, we'll get you through this, you just need to hang on."

Taehyung nods at you.

You nod back.

"Okay bud, we need you to hug yourself please. Put your chin to your chest. We're going to transfer you to the bed, it will be quick, I promise." Taehyung says, looking at everyone in the room.

"He's sedated Taehyung, how do you expect him to hug himself?" you raise your eyebrow. "Right, everyone, on 3. 1, 2-

"-3." The patient cries out as you all transfer him onto the bed.

Hoseok shoves the stretcher out of the way and Seokjin rushes in and pulls it out of the room. Taehyung grabs a pair of scissors as he cuts through his clothes. Jimin puts all the equipment in the room he deems appropriate for an orthopaedic surgeon onto a wound dressing trolley and rolls it next to you.

"What do you see?" you ask, looking at the frown on his face. "From here, he has ecchymosis around his left eye with abrasions down his neck and chest, flank and pelvic areas with burn like wounds, on his chest."

Pointing to his knee, Taehyung stammers as Sana checks his feet for pulses. "Macerated disruption to the skin around his knee, he's definitely got a crush injury. Irene, can you please take some bloods. I need white blood cell count, hemoglobin, creatinine and lactate."

She nods, rushing over to the wall to grab the equipment and doing it as quickly as she can before sending it off to the emergency labs. Taehyung looks over at his feet, assessing them. "Shit, his left leg's cold with mottling ...the compartments of the lower leg are tight to palpation. There's no pulse ...no capillary refill either."

You look him dead in the eye. "Compartment syndrome?"

He nods. "We need to move him to theatre for an emergency fasciotomy," Taehyung turns to Sana as she finishes cannulating the patient, "Can you check the OT board, see if there are any surgeons available."

She runs out of the room to do so.

Hoseok, removes the tourniquets, making sure the limb is at level with his heart. "If there aren't any rooms left, we might just have to do it here."

You hand Taehyung the transducer with a side-port needle, Jimin had set up on the trolley, used to measure the amount of pressure in a muscle, with him being on that side of the patient, it was just easier for him to do it.

"Thanks," he says softly, uncapping it and holding it perpendicular to the skin and then inserting it into the skin just under 3cm. It pings with a result as Taehyung withdraws the needle.

"Pressures greater than 35 mmhg, we need to do a bedside fasciotomy," he announces. You swoop over to a trolley. "I need some fentanyl, I'm withholding the midaz because he's already had some sedative, let's at least give him some pain relief before I cut his leg open to relieve some of the pressure."

"Just the usual for compartment Irene, I'll grab the local anaesthetic." you say and Taehyung grabs a permanent marker, marking an incision line on his leg. Sana runs back in, confirming the unavailable theatre rooms. "That's fine, I need sterile gloves and some antiseptic. I'm cutting him open."

She rushes over to the cupboard, ripping open a box with his size on it. Grabbing another dressing trolley, she puts a dressing pack on it with a packeted scalpel on top and opens his gloves whilst only touching the corners of the packet.

"I'll check the lab results, they should be up soon." you say, walking towards the computer.

Putting on a gown and his gloves, he bathes his leg in antiseptic before taking the local anaesthetic and inserting it around the area of planned incision. He waits for the pain relief administration before taking the scalpel and making a lateral incision halfway between the tibia and the fibula. "Releasing the lateral and anterior compartments."

He makes another incision beside the tibia. "Being careful of the saphenous vein, I'm releasing the superficial and deep posterior compartments. I'm making two incisions that will cover all four compartments. He should be okay for now but I'm still going to need a theatre to put on spanning external fixators for his unstable fracture and a wound vac for assisted closure."

You turn to him. "Results are in. His white blood cell count is abnormally high, hemoglobin is low, obviously his creatinine and lactate are quite high. Irene can you please insert a large bore line into his right arm and give him a saline bolus."

Taehyung turns to Sana. "Go book an operating room," she runs again, and you watch the annoyance on her face in amusement. "That was impressive, you guys work really well as a team."

"We do." he admits.

"Where would we be without our nursing team?" you ask, printing off the lab notes and sticking them against the patients file. Jimin smiles bashfully at you as Hoseok agrees. "Looking at it, you would be nothing without Sana."

"Nothing?" he asks, and the silence between you is suddenly deafening. He snorts as he looks down at the patient, checking for any other external injuries. "What makes you think I'm not already nothing?"

You laugh, a weird feeling of sadness overwhelms you all of a sudden as Jimin and Irene untie the restraints, letting the patient lay freely. This is ridiculous, have the past 5-6 years meant nothing to him?

It's ugly.

The feeling that suddenly suffocates you as you stare back at the boy you still feel that pull towards. He's everything you want in this world but everything you know you'll never have.

You hate him.

You hate him so much it hurts in your chest.

"Why? You ask," you look in him dead in the eye. "Because people with nothing don't leave Taehyung. They don't even dream of it." You tug your gloves off, throwing them in the bin as you storm towards the door, heart heavy with a weight of realisation that just being around him, causes a frenzy of emotion you haven't felt in a long time stir in your chest.

Taehyung sighs, as the door slams behind you. "No, but people with everything do."

His thoughts fester in the awkward silence and he wonders right then and there if you'll keep leaving.

If you'll keep running from him.

If he had become the one thing you were afraid of in this world.

"I don't know who you are Dr. Taehyung but I already have a feeling that I do not and will not like you." Hoseok says, glaring at Taehyung with an intense hatred before running out after you.

"I don't know how you got the nicest person in the world to hate you because even getting an insulting comeback from Hobi is hard," Jimin coughs into his fist and shakes his head at Taehyung. "I also don't know what your relationship with Y/N is either, but I am telling you right fucking now Dr. Taehyung, no matter how cute you are, if you hurt her, I'm going to put cytotoxic drugs in your fucking porridge."

"You sound like Yoongi," Taehyung smiles softly, feeling a blush paint across his cheeks and the stabbing sensation of guilt in his stomach. "I'm glad she has you, you're a good friend."

Jimin holds his chin high in the air, ignoring him.

Taehyung laughs softly.

Taking off his gloves, he takes out his phone and calls the orthopaedic consultant. "Hi, it's Dr. Taehyung, was hoping you had time to do an orif, closure of fasciotomies? Right now? You can do it? Sure, we'll wheel him up now."

"I'll grab Sana on the way," Hanging up, he shoves his phone into his pocket. "Come on Jimin and Irene, he's going to theatre right now."

"Now?" Irene asks.

"Yes, right now. Lets go!" Taehyung shouts, prompting them both into a state of urgency as they unplug the bed and pull down the fluids and medications. Despite what just happened, Irene and Jimin look at each other and smile, things moved quickly around here, they liked that.

They liked it alot.

"Y/N," Hoseok shouts, clamping his hand on your bicep and pulling you into the hub, "Hey, are you okay? What was that?"

His grip stops you from running away from him. You falter, feeling the comfort radiate from his warm hand. The scent of oak moss & sandalwood calms you down as the lump in your throat swells.

You need to cry.

And you hate yourself for feeling that way.

"Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm just tired." you lie.

Hoseok's face softens as he loosens his grip, pulling you into a hug. You've always liked his hugs. They could solve the world's toughest conflicts. "Are you sure?" he whispers, voice smooth, rich in silk, calm in nature.

"Hobi, you don't need to worry about me," You nod, tucking your head under his chin. "I'm sure."

"Do you know him?" he asks, patting his hand down your back. He was good like this, keeping you calm. "Seems like your both quite close."

"No," You shake your head against his chest. "We aren't. I don't even know him."

"You know," Hoseok says, patting his hand down your back in a reassuring motion."Lying looks bad on you."

"I'm not lying," you sigh, wishing the ground would just swallow you whole. "I don't know who he is anymore."

"Y/N," he whispers, kissing your temple. "Taehyung's the father isn't he?" he asks but Hoseok already knew he would be, you only get emotional like this over matters pertaining to your child. Hoseok whimpers, watching his strongest friend fall into an emotive struggle before him.

And then you answer with your silence.

Tears fall down your face.

Hoseok holds you tighter, sighing against you as he leans his head on top of yours. "Of course he is." Your lower lip quivers as you fist into his shirt, crying fat tears into his coat.

You hate this.

You hate it completely.

Everything's coming together and fucking you up.

Hoseok kisses your forehead, and you sink into his comforting arms. "Go and sleep," he pulls you off his chest, wiping his thumbs across your cheeks, dragging away the tears. "I'm telling you as both a friend and a doctor, you need to rest. You've just experienced a traumatic event, please, look after you."

You press your lips into a line, nodding your head. "I will," slipping out of his embrace, you smile up at him. "I'll go and sleep next to Jungkook. You've experienced it too, go look after you too."

Patting your head, he watches you walk across the department. Hoseok sighs as he turns to watch Jimin rush his patient away, assuming he'd be going to theatre, he sags against the counter. It was hard being a psychiatrist in mass trauma because he knew so well that doctors have an increased risk of developing PTSD, and the doctors here, were all his friends.

It was hard, knowing what they might be going through.

And he understands what they're thinking as he looks around the room, watching doctors and nurses treat patients, blood splayed across their clothing, hair a mess, eyes red from old tears, exhaustion black and puffy beneath their eyes.

Everyone ignores it out of duty, how things like this affect them. How the hell is someone supposed to digest it anyway when trauma truly takes a life of its own.

"Dr. Y/N!" a voice shouts from a distant corner of the yellow zone. "We need you over here, please!"

Hoseok watches you slump your shoulders slightly, as you walk straight back out of the cubical you had only just walked into. "I'm on my way!"

When do you provide emotional first aid on yourself when everyone else needs you?