The morning was horrible for Gilbert, Matthew awoke with a jolt and frantically pulled off the mask before running toward the bathroom and fell to his knees in front of the open seated toilet where he retched out yesterday's lunch. Gilbert rushed to him and soothingly rubbed his back feeling useless not knowing what to do to help his now sobbing lover.

He grabbed a cloth and soaked it with warm water bringing it to Matthew after he had emptied out his stomach and wiped his mouth. "It's okay Matthew I'm here for you. You can rinse your mouth while I bring you a change of clothes." He helped him up and closed the toilet sink flushing away the contents of Matthew's stomach. His heart dropped, none of Matthew's food ever stayed down and that just terrified Gilbert. He collected Matthew's clothes and brought them to him. "Here birdie I'll help you." He forced a reassuring smile.

Matthew shrugged off his sweater and pulled on another fresh one and changed into jeans. "You have a doctors appointment today. We'll pick up breakfast on the way." Gilbert changed into his casual clothing which was jeans and a T-shirt. When he sat on the bed with Matthew he helped him put on the air tubes and then kneeled on the ground where he helped him with his shoes.

Matthew looked at him with a dark blush and nervously tried to hide it by looking away from Gilbert. "..I can see your tomato red face birdie." Gilbert chuckled in an attempt to lighten the gloomy mood. "I could've put on my own shoes," Matthew stated. "I know but you always mess up when you try to tie them," Gilbert said as he finished tying up his shoes.

He stood up and looked at Matthew seeing that his smile was replaced by a glum frown. "What's wrong Matthew?" He asked worriedly. "I don't want to go to the doctors today...they'll give me a shot like always." A small whimper escaped his throat. "No it's okay, I promise they won't," Gilbert reassured calmly. "...okay I believe you, Gil..." Matthew looked at him and forced a small smile, his eyes puffy and red from his sobbing.

Gilbert held his hand and helped him up from the bed. "I promise it'll be a quick appointment." He kissed the top of his head and slipped on his shoes before heading out with Matthew close by his side.

After a short car ride, Gilbert had to coax Matthew out of the car since he refused to leave the car once they arrived at the parking lot. "Please birdie you have to understand that the people will help you if you're not feeling well," Gilbert explained calmly. "You haven't been eating well maybe they can give you some sort of medicine." Matthew frowned at the mention of being helped. "I can help myself, it's probably just a stomach virus." He mumbled.

Gilbert grabbed the tank and placed it on the gravel parking lot. "No more excuses Matthew, we're going and that's final!" He stated in a harsh tone which made Matthew's heart drop in guilt and sadness. "I...I'm sorry Gil..I'm just...sorry." He stammered and reluctantly climbed out of the car, his head hung low and he dragged his tank along with him as he followed Gilbert towards the doctor's building.

Meanwhile, Gilbert couldn't help but feel guilty after using such a harsh tone with his lover, he glanced over his shoulder to look at him and frowned when he saw his head down in a glum manner. "Hey birdie, I'll let you pick out where you want to eat breakfast at." He suggested trying desperately to cheer him up, but in response, he received a slight nod from him.

Entering the doctor's office Matthew sat himself down while Gilbert signed him in for the appointment, when he returned to him he sat down by him and held his hand. "Birdie please don't be upset.." he looked at him with deep concern. "...I'm not upset," Matthew mumbled keeping his gaze at the ground. He was hurt but not upset, rather, he was terrified and guilty. Gilbert rubbed his hand. "I'm sorry I was harsh with you..." he apologized, wanting to punch himself in the face.

But then it clicked, it must be terrifying to poor Matthew, not knowing what else could be wrong was scary. Being forced to go to an appointment out of nowhere was probably so stressful and yet here Gilbert was ordering his lover to without him having any say in it. Now Gilbert felt like the biggest (yet still awesome) jerk alive. "It's okay birdie everything will be okay...I'm going to make sure they don't hurt you." He cooed in a calm and soothing tone.

Matthew set his eyes on his boyfriend and soon found himself calming down, the tense air around him was no longer heavy and the weight from his chest was lifted. "Y-you promise?" He asked. "I promise." Gilbert nodded with a huge grin. "Pinkie promise." Matthew extended his slim pinkie out to him. "Aww come on.." Gilbert groaned in annoyance. "Please.." Matthew begged desperately and of course, Gilbert knew he couldn't say no. "...fine." He grunted in defeat and latched his pinkie with Matthew's.

Matthew smiled and instantly Gilbert knew it was totally worth it. "Thank you, Gil." Matthew kissed his cheek and giggled when he saw the light pink blush his boyfriend had. "Who's the one blushing now?" He teased as he softly pinched his cheeks but instantly froze when he heard his name being called out by a nurse, a low fearful whimper formed in his throat and he placed his hands on Gilbert's arm. "Come on birdie, it'll be okay," Gilbert reassured in a soothing tone as he rose from his seat bringing Matthew along with him.

Matthew fearfully clung onto Gilbert hiding behind his back while rolling his tank closely behind so no one could trip over it or stare, a nurse leads them to a room and Gilbert carefully removed Matthew's air tubes so they could weigh and measure him. Matthew's height was normal but his weight was a bit off which worried Gilbert, he hoped that he would get better soon even if it meant breaking a small promise. Eventually, they were taken to a room where Gilbert helped Matthew put his tubes back on and that's where they waited for a doctor to arrive.

Eventually, a young male doctor arrived and examined Matthew which made Gilbert a bit jealous but after telling him that he would provide a vaccine to help Matthew he felt relieved and thankful, Matthew, on the other hand, was reluctant and scared "I'll bring the nurses right now. Please wait here." and with that said the doctor left leaving Gilbert and a shaking Matthew alone. "Gil..i-i don't want to." Matthew looked at him fearfully "Matthew it's okay it's just one little shot. He said that it'll help you fend off diseases since you're so weak. That's why you're vomiting too." Gilbert explained.

Matthew turned away from him "you promised..." he mumbled glumly "I know I promised but this will help you." once again, Gilbert felt terrible but knowing that it would help Matthew he pushed away the guilt "I'm sorry Matthew but I promised when we first met that we would be together forever." he stated in a sturdy voice. Matthew stayed silent after, a nurse soon arrived with a syringe, bandage, and an alcohol wipe which made Matthew cower away from the nurse.

Gilbert noticed his frightened lover and quickly held onto his hand while the nurse lifted up the sleeve of his sweater and wiped his pale skinny arm with the alcohol wipe. Matthew tightly gripped onto Gilbert's hand and looked away as the nurse grabbed the syringe and slowly plunged it in his arm causing a sharp pain to shoot through it making Matthew wince in pain and tightening his grip on Gilbert's hand, once the medicine was released causing a painful burning sensation the syringe was removed.

Gilbert gave a shaky sigh of relief while the nurse covered up Matthew's arm with a cotton ball and put a bandage over it "there you go, I'm sure you'll feel better in no time. Please come back again if anything is wrong." the nurse flashed an apologetic smile at them before discarding the syringe and exiting the room leaving a teary-eyed Matthew with Gilbert once again feeling like he was the bad guy "I'm sorry birdie." he kissed the small wound on his arm in an attempt to make his lover feel better and carefully pulled down his sleeve.

Matthew climbed off of the bed like counter and grabbed a hold of the handle of his tank with one hand and holding Gilbert's hand with the other ".. I'm sorry Gil, I always keep you from having any fun, it must be boring always having to watch and worry about me." Matthew mumbled in a glum tone his gaze glued to the ground "no Matthew don't say that! I'm always happy when I'm with you." Gilbert stood in front of him and lifted his chin making him look up to meet his gaze "I love every second when I'm with you." he smiled.

Matthew smiled back feeling his chest burst with happiness "thank you, Gil, I love being with you too." he hugged him tightly burying his face in his shirt "you really love hugging don't you?" Gilbert chuckled and embraced his lover in a warm and comforting hug "I'm a hugger too." he confessed happily "but now let's go get some breakfast okay?" he suggested and reluctantly pulled away from the embrace.

They left the building, Matthew was a couple of steps behind Gilbert. They walked down the sidewalk heading towards their car while Gilbert whistled a catchy tune until he was cut off by a small shriek coming from his lover, he quickly turned around expecting to see him hurt but instead saw him kneeling on the ground holding a squashed caterpillar in the palms of hands "Gil... I'm a murderer...i killed it!" tears streamed down Matthew's cheeks "my tank squished it.." Matthew exclaimed between a sob.

Gilbert kneeled down with him and took the caterpillar "it's okay Matthew it's just one bug." he placed the bug on the lush green grass "it was going to turn into a butterfly.." Matthew whimpered "I know but sometimes it's hard for caterpillars to survive, not all bugs make it through life." Gilbert wiped away Matthew's tears and kissed the top of his head "you did nothing wrong birdie, I know it was an accident so don't blame yourself." Gilbert stood up and helped Matthew up who was still mourning over the death of the insect.

Once they arrived at their car they both climbed in, Matthew instantly fell to sleep, his cheeks heavy with tear stains. And that's when Gilbert began to think and ponder, Matthew was so innocent never wanting to hurt a single person or animal, so why him? Gilbert thought, why was Matthew the fragile and weak one? Why did he have to be sick and not someone else? Why was his life in danger? Gilbert shook with fear and anger not wanting to imagine his life without Matthew.

He took a quick glance at his sleeping lover and sighed, happy that he was still here and not suffering. Happy that he was safe from any harm, happy that he was still alive even though he knew how many times he wanted to give up and end it all. He reached for Matthew's pale hand and held it in his own "I promise my birdie, we'll make it through this." he muttered.

But questions still pondered in his mind, how many more appointments would it take? How many more vaccines and medicines would it take just for a couple of minor sicknesses that could become life-threatening for Matthew? How much more pain, stress, tears, arguments, and apologies did they have to go through for all of it to be over soon?

Of course, if Gilbert just had to break a couple of tiny little promises for Matthew to get better it wouldn't matter..., right?