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***Mark's POV***

Jesus. I have been so fucking angular lately. I hate myself for it.

Mak did absolutely nothing wrong yesterday. Yet, I felt the need to hurt his precious feelings. Makes me feel like I kicked a puppy, a cute and adorable, angelic puppy.

I scrub my hands over my face as I stare in the mirror.

What have I become?

Guilt weighs at my soul for my actions the last few months. I don't know how I still have friends.

I slam my palm on to the bathroom counter with a long groan. Something has got to give. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be this person.

The dark cloud that surrounds my soul is so busy constricting and suffocating me. It's beginning to overwhelm me.

Loving someone isn't supposed to be this fucking hard. It can't be meant to feel like this.

I'm so angry, sad and lonely. I just snap at the others because they are so god damned happy.

I'm miserable. My feelings are repulsive. I should be the kind of friend who relishes in their happiness.

Yet, I stand in front of a mirror as a jealous bastard.

I want Sebastian. I have tried. It may seem like I haven't, to anyone else. But, I have tried.

The private investigators, background checks and the multitude of emails between me and people who should know something, are astounding.

Maybe I am a stalker. He didn't want me.

I should give up and go back to fucking every damn thing that walks beside me.

Or not. I hated that person too.

Maybe I'm meant to be alone. That sounds right. No way someone like me should get the man of his dreams so easily. That shit isn't real life.

I walk to the bed and throw my body over the expensive sheets. The Pellicano is exquisite. I wish Seb was here to share these cotton sheets with me.

What I wouldn't give to feel his heart beat beneath my palm one last time. Except, it wouldn't be the last. Because, this time I would fight.

Goodbye? My virgin ass.

Don't say you could have fucking loved me.

Do it! Fucking love me so hard that I can't breathe without you. Love me so deeply that every beat of my heart pounds in sync with yours. Love me so long that we get those cheesy smiles from people who can look into our eyes and know that we went the distance.

Fuck!

I furiously rub my fists into my eye sockets.

I'm so tired of crying. I'm tired of caring about a damn memory.

I don't want just memories. I want every kiss to feel like my next fucking one hundred years.

I roll over and scream angrily into my pillow. This isn't fair. Life has been unjust. I want vindication. I want Sebastian.

My eyes burn as my chest painfully squeezes. I put my hand above my heart, rubbing, trying desperately to soothe the ache.

A sob escapes my throat as a yawn forms on my lips.

<<<<<<<<

Mak lands directly on top of me, I wake with an instant groan. Jesus this kid is heavy on the fly.

I stretch my arms out and delve into his ribs with exaggerated claws. I incessantly tickle Mak's thrashing body. I lean over his heaving chest and part my lips before blowing a raspberry into his cheeks.

"Good. Morning." Mak belts out between squeals of laughter. My fingers finding his most ticklish points.

"They sacrifice you?" I ask through a chuckle. Fuck, I love this kid.

Mak shakes his head adamantly and points at the guilty party staring through the door frame.

"Assholes."

I hand Mak off to Grey before shutting the door in their faces.

I rush through getting dressed. I dread this meeting. The sooner it is over the better.

I have a town to explore.

I haven't been to Italy before. I will be damned if the only sights I see are board rooms and jets.

I leave my room looking like a total bust. I don't care. My fucks to give have long ran out.

I stare at Grey as his teasing eyes rake me over. God damned sexy bastard. He knows it too. We all do.

He rubs his thumb over his lips with a hungry glint in his eyes. I should have fucked him in college. Jesus.

"Quit checking me out bastard. Let's get this over with." I smirk when Grey slaps me.

"Damn, Mark. You clean up nice." Mak purrs like a damn kitten. Shoulda fucked him too.

God I'm horny.

"You aren't reeling me in today, Mak." I warn.

"I don't know what you are insinuating." Mak giggles. I point at him, drawing my two fingers across my eyes and moving them towards him.

"Mmmhmm. The whole hall heard you two. I realize you rile up Grey to get your brains fucked out." I pinch the angel's blushing cheeks. Hell, he is beautiful.

"I plead the fifth." Mak giggles like a cherub.

I glare over at him. He knows damn well what he does. He is far from innocent. It's sexy as fuck.

"OH my Gahhhdd. You didn't fucking know." Kip belts out a large guffaw while staring, gaped mouth at Grey.

I don't bother stifling my laugh. Mak has him so whipped.

"Baby?" Grey looks at Mak like he just opened his chocolate eyes to a new world.

"EGO dont loqui anglicus." Mak winks over at Grey. It's incredible how well he plays his hand.

"I don't even know what that means." Grey shakes his head with a glare.

"He said he doesn't speak English." Daddy Parker chuckles loudly.

"What language is that?" Grey stands stunned into stupidity.

"Latin. He is showing off." Mario fist bumps Mak.

"How many languages can you speak?" Grey asks Mak with a tone of amazement.

Mak holds up his hand with five fucking fingers.

I didn't even know that.

"He speaks Latin, English, French, Japanese and Mandarin." Daddy Parker informs us.

"How did I not know this? How do you?" Grey grumbles while we load into the Hummer.

"Let's stop for breakfast." Mak suddenly states.

"I'm starving. Yeah, good thinking." I would do anything to postpone this shit. I am not even in the mood to parade around and pretend I give two shits about anyone other than my family.

We stop at a tiny breakfast cafe and order food. God, the food is an orgasm in my mouth.

We sit for quite some time and talk. No one seems to be in much of a hurry. For that, I am thankful.

After breakfast, we get coffee. Coffee is life.

I order Italian pastries. Maybe if we feed the board members, they will fall into a food coma. Then we can leave while they sleep it off.

I ask for them to be a special order, that takes up more time. Good!

"So, how long will this shit take. I want to be a tourist." I shift my eyes towards Daddy Parker. The annoyance drips from my voice.

"Most of the day. We have a lot of catching up to do. It's been a while." Martin shrugs his muscular shoulders. The man is deliciously built. I would fuck him too. I would have, at one point. He's a God. Their gene pool is unnecessarily stacked.

"Kill me now." I groan dramatically. This trip should be about fun. I just want anything to take my mind off of the one man I can't have.

"No time for dying. We got places to go and people to meet." Grey pulls me out of my seat by my hand. I take it willingly. I seek out comfort in any form I can get.

"One last stop." Mario urges. "Flower shop."

"Why the fuck would we bring flowers?" I argue. It's a god damned meeting. We aren't going to visit with long lost relatives.

"Because I fucking said so." Mario throws a coaster at me. I duck. Mario is known to accentuate his words with flying objects.

"Whatever. The longer you take the less time I have to put up with people." I cross my arms and lay against the seat.

"You are not a morning person." Kip bellows out at me. Duh!

"Never said I was." I glare at Kip. Mr. Obvious has stated a well known fact.

"For the love of all things holy. You really are a big grumpy bear." Kip starts an argument playfully. It's irritating. I made it perfectly clear I wasn't in the mood. What does a man have to do to have a little peace?

"Everyone in this car not having sex raise your hand." I raise my hand high. They would be grumpy if eight months had gone by. I can't even give myself a proper hand job. Seb ruined that for me. "Good enough reason to me."

"Quit picking on the big baby before he cries." Grey laughs but, I sling my fist towards his chest. It collides with something, I don't even care. He deserved it.

"You fucker." Mak yells out. A shriek leaves his delicate mouth.

"Shit." I hit Mak. Oh god.

"I'm so sorry Mak. I meant to hit Grey." Everything I do ends up hurting Mak. I'm a fucking shit bag.

His nose leaks profusely. The red fluid fills napkin after napkin.

Guilt saturates every pore in my body.

We stop at the flower shop.

I rush into the establishment. I ask for the largest bouquet, in a hurry. I don't half ass anything.

I quickly scan the store for something to use as an acceptable apology for breaking Mak's nose.

I find a Stitch stuffie and hurry to the register to ring up our order.

As soon as I have made the purchase, I leave Mario to grab the flowers and rush to the limo to check on Mak. His nose has stopped bleeding. Thank God it isn't broken. There is swelling but, I'm glad I didn't hit him any harder.

"Sorry." I whisper. I lean over and kiss Mak on the cheek. I hand him the stuffie with a sheepish grin.

"It's so fucking cute. Oh my god. I love Stitch." Mak hugs the little Blue Alien to his chest and pets it between the eyes. He looks happy. Phew.

"Did you get flowers?" Martin questions.

"Yeah, I made Mario carry them." I chuckle. He's my bitch boy.

Kip climbs in, covered in two feet of flowers. I chuckle. Of course, he would carry the flowers for his delicate Mario. I roll my eyes playfully.

"Damn, boy. You trying to date one of them?" Daddy Parker chuckles that deep laugh.

"I told her to give me the best they had." I shrug because I don't care if our colleagues like them or not. They are not anyone important to me.

"Their gorgeous." Mak boosts my ego.

We drive for a while. My attention glitches in and out. My mind is spinning, thinking of things that I am trying to avoid.

My eyes scrunch in confusion as we pull into an under ground garage. It looks to be a hospital. But, I wasn't actually paying attention while we were driving.

"Why are we meeting here?" I ask. We get out of the limo and I look around dumbfounded.

"It was the only place possible." Kip explains. I shrug my shoulders. I don't even care.

"Just seems odd. Whatever. Soon enough I will be walking the streets of Italy." That idea brings a bright grin to my face. I whistle along to my new found joy.

Kip hands me the flowers as we make our way onto the elevator. I groan. He could have held the damn things. It's not like I want them.

"Did you tell them we are coming up?" Grey asks. That's a stupid question considering we flew across the world to meet these fuckers. I already don't like any of them.

"Alex knows." Daddy Parker confirms with Grey. That doesn't sound very fucking Italian. Whatever. Every step closer is one less moment I have to stay in this god forsaken place. It's smells like antiseptic and people are probably dying as we walk through the halls. I hate hospitals.

We step on to the elevator. Thank god it is oversized. We are not, by any means, a small group of men. Mak looks like a munchkin next to us. I hide a chuckle at that. He's just so tiny. Adorably pocket sized.

People step on the elevator as we slowly ascend the floors. Great. As if it wasn't tight enough in here.

I count the floors as we go. It's a ridiculously large hospital. It looks rather expensive. It could pass for a fancy hotel if it weren't for the nurses and such running around.

I sigh while waiting. I'm so ready to go do anything but this.

Maybe Kip is right. I am grumpy.

We make our way to the final floor and finally they start filing out in front of me. This floor is uber cold. It reminds me of a meat locker. I shiver. It's uncomfortably cold.

We stand in front of a door. I assume this is the location of our meeting. Everybody looks way too excited for this shit. I hope it brings us big dollars. That's the only thing that could make this shit show valuable.

"You ready?" Martin looks at all of us. I plaster on a fake smile and nod. Ready to leave.

Mak claps his hands. Kip kisses Mario briefly. I stand there, ever the fifth fucking wheel. But, I do love them. They deserve the happiness they found. It took them long enough.

Martin knocks softly on the door. A handsome man opens with a wink. A very tall, dark and handsome man. I stare for a moment before remembering I don't want anyone else. It's Sebastian or celibacy for me. That much I am sure of.

"Alexei Carson. You can call me Alex." Alex takes his sweet time to shake each one of our hands. He places a kiss on Mak's cheeks before doing the same to myself and then Grey.

Must be an Italian thing. Good thing I don't mind affection, from complete strangers. It's weird. Just fucking weird. And creepy.

We step through the oversized door and are greeted by a beautiful African American woman. Lord have mercy. She is absolutely stunning.

"It's so nice to see you all. I'm Angie. I have waited a long time to make your acquaintance."  Okay, Angie. We aren't long lost relatives. It's a meeting. I'm sure you haven't been waiting that long. Hell, I just found out about this meeting a few days ago. She's lucky she is beautiful. Otherwise, my smart mouth might write a check my ass can't cash.

"You're a charmer." Angie swats at Martin's shoulder after he makes her giggle. If she thinks he is charming, wait until Mak opens his sweet mouth. That kid could sell flip flops to a leg less man.

"I speak the truth." Martin winks. Okay, yeah, he is a charmer.

Angie grips my hand suddenly. She pulls me down the hallway. No one announced that I would be leading this escapade, but sure. Why not? I follow behind the lady as she drags me along like a puppy on a short leash.

As we approach the end of the long hallway, I scan the area. The sound of heart monitors and blood pressure being taken fill the air. This isn't a meeting.

I gasp and take a large greedy breath of oxygen. I can't believe this.

This is not fucking happening. No. No. No.

My heart aches and emotions flow through me like a broken water pipe. I can't. I can't do this. Not like this. Not in front of all of these people.

Why would they do this to me?

He's sick. My Sebastian. The man I love. He is sick and this is how I am finding out.

My eyes flood with tears. So many emotions are pounding on the door to my heart.

Love, sadness, anger, fear, love, love and love.

I turn to look at the people I love more than my own life. They all knew. My eyes are blurry from the water spilling relentlessly from my tear ducts.

They urge me forward. But, I can't move. I'm paralyzed with shock. So, I just stare. I see him. I know I want him. But, I'm so fucking scared. What if he doesn't want me? What if he is angry that I have imposed.

I feel a large hand gently lay on my back. I want to run. I want to stay. I want to fall to my knees and thank god. I want to curse god for my Seb being in here.

Grey applies pressure to the small of my back, encouraging me to go forward. But, I can't.

"What's all the commotion?" Oh sweet Heavenly Father. That voice. That voice that I have dreamt of. The one that consistently plays in my mind on repeat. The most alluring, sexy and kind voice I have ever heard. Thank you.

"Honey you have visitors." Angie speaks softly. Did she call him honey? Is he fucking married? Was I a fling? Oh shit, I helped him cheat. I'm an adulterer.

My stomach churns and lurches. Why? Why is this fucking happening.

They knew. Yet, they found it appropriate to bring me here. I want to go. Now. This is too much. I can't take anymore.

Sebastian opens his eyes and sits straight up in the bed.

"Mark." Sebastian breathes out. He opens his arms and I forget about everything. I don't care about any of it. He wants me.

I lunge forward and barricade myself in the warm arms of the person who left me, taking my soul along with him.