***
Sometimes, the only way around suffering is to go through it.
***

Tera winced as she shifted her position to a more comfortable one, sprawling her aching legs before her. She clasped her hands on her lap like a penitent wrongdoer, her usually-bright eyes unusually dim. Her whole body was stiff - with the wounds and blood loss, or with apprehension, she didn't know. Maybe she was just feeling on edge. She didn't know how Shika would react to her confession - Akira already heard part of it - and she was not too eager to find out. While Shika looked like the sort of person who would just give you a polite, awkward smile throughout a piece of news, she also looked like the sort of person who would frown and fix you with a deadly glare if the information happened to be unsettling. She was just too unpredictable for Tera's comfort.

"So, err... I've told Akira-senpai about this... predicament of mine before," she began, clenching and unclenching her fists fretfully. "It went like this... Erm... Fudge, I can't do this." She slumped over and pressed a palm into her face.

Akira gave Tera's hand an encouraging squeeze. "Start slow, at the very beginning, the first timeline, or even when you became a Puella Magi. There's no rush." She wanted to know the whole truth of the situation. Only the intro of the melody had been played to her, a mere few strokes of screechy violin strings; she wanted to hear the entire otherworldly symphony, regardless of how terrible it may sound.

Looking grateful for Akira's support, Tera launched into her story, pausing every now and then to catch her breath, or to recall a piece of detail.

"I'll tell you about my backstory. That's the best place to start... I met Rikka and Eruna when I was eight. At that time, I had enrolled in the Kazamino School of Music and Arts through a scholarship I obtained from talent showcase. It takes in students as young as six, and has upperclassmen until the age of twenty. I was put into the same class as Eruna, and it was there that I made friends with the sisters. Soon, we became so close that I would often follow 'em home after school, and I'd sleep over at their place. Their parents would welcome me as if I were their own child, and have even gotten an extra futon for me when I stayed the night. O' course, my uncle didn't mind. He had one less mouth to feed whene'er I chose to stay at Rikka's. It was great, us being together."

"After Kureha-chan enrolled the next year, we formed a quartet band in our school, the four of us. It was a compulsory project to be undertaken by all students. Damn, that little girl was a devil with the instruments. I've never seen anyone play like she did, and she was just eight. Well, the four of us soon became inseparable. We did almost everythin' together - music practice, theory, homework, sports, just chillin' out on the balcony or whatever shit - except that we all took different classes. Rikka majored in violin, piano, singin' and paintin'; Eruna majored in drum, cello and music theory; I took classes in guitar, piano and illustration, as well as martial arts and judo - yeah, they offer those classes there - and Kureha-chan just did everythin' she was allowed to. She's a musical prodigy, I tell ye."

"When I was ten, I suffered an injury to my arms during a judo lesson. The fat pig who was pitched against me played dirty. She fudgin' flipped me over and started to bash my arms like we were in some boxin' match. Jesus Christ, I could remember my bones breakin'. She's a bully and no mistake - she always wanted to pick a fight with me cause I was better than her in judo. Thank God she got expelled after that episode. Anywho, I was rushed to the hospital, and they told me that my left and right humerus were fractured. They had to remove the bone shards through surgery and leave it to recover on its own, but it'd cost quite a lot. My uncle wasn't too pleased. Still, he called for the surgery, and I thought innocently that once I was out of the creepy operation theatre, I'd be able to play my instruments like before... Was I ever dumber than that. The operation met with complications, though they didn't admit it. Some smartass left a fudgin' knife in my arm, and it rusted inside of me. An infection took hold of my flesh. The arteries narrowed and my arms began to look blue, with scary black stripes. My uncle was horrified. He wanted to sue the hospital, haha. Well, they offered to amputate my two limbs free-o'-charge - ain't that terribly kind o' the blighters? - to stop the infection from reachin' my heart. Even though I was ten, I could understand what 'amputate' was. I freaked out and tried to run away to Rikka's house. The next thing I knew, I was sedated and put under the fudgin' knife, and I emerged from the ward armless... Ugh..."

Tera shrank into herself, hugging her arms with a shudder as if remembering the terrible ordeal. A gentle arm draped around her shoulder and gave her a heartening shake. "At least you lived through it," said Akira, a warm twinkle in her eye. "If you didn't, who'd be here to annoy me then, huh?"

A feeble grin stretched on Tera's lips. "Yeah, there'd be no one to ship ShiKira-"

"Good god, enough of that shipping nonsense, Aido!" Akira jumped away from Tera as if they were opposite poles of a magnet, dusting herself down like she had just touched something dirty. Coughing into her hand, she said huskily, "Erhem, please continue."

But Shika, who had simply watched their antics with a half-smile, could not resist asking a question first. "Tera-san, if you had lost your arms, then...?" She looked uncertainly at the two healthy-looking appendages. Akira pulled a face at Shika's insensitive remark, causing the green-haired girl to blanch and stammer a quick apology. "S-Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that..."

Unfazed, Tera waved her off. So far, Shika was quietly listening with a solemn look on her face - nothing too scary yet. She was secretly afraid of the apathetic green-haired girl due to her somewhat flat personality. "Nah, I was gettin' to that part anyways..." Staring at her palm, with a blank look in her eyes, Tera continued her account. It was easier to talk now she had started.

"So... after I lost my arms, I got kinda depressed. I couldn't play music, I couldn't draw, I couldn't take part in judo lessons anymore... I just skipped school and wasted my time at home even after the plasters and whatnots were off. My friends were gettin' worried for me. Rikka would visit me every day and try to cheer me up, but nothin' she did could make me crack a grin. I felt like dyin'. What was life without arms to do what you love? I grew so distant and dark that my foster siblings stayed clear o' me, and my uncle and aunt were at their wits end tryin' to help me see things in a brighter light. Although I didn't know it then, a Witch had been preyin' on me, eatin' my Grief and growin' stronger on it."

"One day, I told myself, I can't do this shit anymore. So I walked to the park and stood at the lakeside, about to drown myself, when Rikka appears with Eruna and Kureha-chan... They managed to convince me to not kill myself. After all, there are quite a number of famous artists who didn't have arms too, and still succeeded. So I took their word to heart and was about to go home with them when we all stepped into this Witch barrier. We didn't know what it was then, so we stumbled around lookin' for a way out. All of a sudden, this gigantic monster jumped us - I will never forget what it looked like. It was a... s-spider... prancing on human legs, a huge one with three heads and three sets of fangs. It was the very same that had been feedin' on my grief. It would have killed us had not Kyubey appeared - bless that cursed donkey - askin' us to become Puella Magi to save our own lives. Even in that moment of desperation, I thought about my lost arms, and I wished for them back. They became my weapons, morphin' into those fiery claws. Rikka wished that she could make everyone happy - she was becomin' depressed just by lookin' at me... I wished I didn't do that to her. If I had snapped out of it earlier, she wouldn't have had to make that wish and become a Puella Magi... Kureha-chan wished that she would always have music close to her. If you see her in battle, you'll know how the wish turned out to be. Eruna didn't have a chance to make one. The Witch killed Kyubey after Kureha-chan's was granted."

"Between the three of us, we managed to murder the Witch and got home in a mess of blood and spider goo. Ever since that, I didn't fancy spiders much... Ugh, the hairy monsters... That night, I didn't go home, scared that my uncle would question my newfound arms. I stayed with Rikka and Eruna, and it was then that Kyubey visited us and told us all about the duty of Puella Magi. We honestly thought it was pretty cool at first, and Eruna wanted to join too, but Rikka stopped her, sayin' that she need not put herself in this danger. When I told Kyubey I was afraid that people would question my arms, he said there was no need to worry. My wish would negate any memories of me ever losin' 'em."

"The three of us soon got the hang o' fightin' Witches, and even found out that if we failed to cleanse our Soul Gems, we'd turn into the very monsters we were killin'. We have to thank an unknown Puella Magi for that - we couldn't save her and watched as she died, her Soul Gem hatchin' into a Grief Seed. Rikka was ever so relieved that day. She thanked God that Eruna was not a Puella Magi. Everythin' after was hunky-dory, killin' Witches, goin' to classes, hangin' out whenever we were free - until this Witch came seven months ago... and murdered Rikka's parents..."

Tera licked her fangs, looking undoubtedly troubled. She looked at her two seniors with wide eyes and downturned mouth, still hugging herself. In a small mew, she carried on, "The Witch came too suddenly for Rikka to react. It was out of the blue that the barrier descended, and the Witch had already slain her parents before she even transformed. I don't know the details, but Eruna told me that Rikka killed the Witch in a very horrible fashion... It was then that her ability to paralyse foes in battle awakened, accordin' to Eruna. And since then, Rikka blamed herself for being unable to save them. She couldn't accept that they were dead. Every day, for nearly a month, she would act as if they were still alive - settin' the table for four instead of two, cleanin' their room and puttin' out the futons at night, leavin' two chairs out at the livin' room for them... It was a classic stuck-in-the-past syndrome. She couldn't move on, not as long as she kept blamin' herself for their deaths. Eruna handled it better. She tried to snap her sister outta it, but it wasn't workin'. We became so worried for her that we had her meet the school counsellor near the end of the month... And... God."

Tera lowered her eyelids and sucked in air through her teeth. "She killed the counsellor. Paralysed her and slit her throat with a dagger. When we entered the room, it was filled with blood, and Rikka was sittin' there with an eerie smile on her face, sayin' that everyone should just die and meet the wrath of God in Heaven. We didn't even know what was happenin', it took place too quickly. Kureha-chan sprouted an axe between her forehead, Eruna dropped to the floor with a dagger in her heart... And I... I-I ran away, like a true coward... When I returned to the room, Rikka was dead too; took her own life with an axe to the neck..."

Akira gasped, her hand going to her mouth. She threw an uneasy sideways glance at Shika, who in turn avoided her gaze, her complexion as pale as flour. She remembered that many years ago, she had tried to commit suicide too. If it weren't for Yuki, she'd be dead by now.

Tera fidgeted, feeling aghast by her own harrowing tale. Images of the dead bodies from that night were fresh in her brain. Those sightless eyes, gaping mouth, bloodstained skin... Nonetheless, she carried on, trying to push down her rising nausea.

"After I discovered that Rikka had died too, I didn't know what to do. Should I hide the bodies, clean the blood, act like nothin' happened, or should I report to the teachers, tell Kureha-chan's parents?...I did the first. It wasn't pleasant, luggin' bodies around... erk... I was afraid of what would happen next. Would I be caught by the police for questioning? I contemplated runnin' away. But- But here's where the really weird thing happened! All of a sudden, I was standin' in my room with my guitar in my hand. I was clean, with no blood on me. God knows what I was doin' there so abruptly, and so clean too. I ran into the livin' room and saw my siblings playin' some fool game, and I asked them, 'Wasn't I in school?' They gave me looks like as if I were crazy. When I saw what date it was on the kitchen calendar, I almost reeled. I had gone back in time, exactly one month ago, just after Rikka's parents died. I crashed over to the sisters' place, only to see the funeral happenin' all over again. I was flabbergasted. Like, what happened? But I couldn't care less what happened then. My friends were alive, and that was all that mattered to me. I realised that I had just gotten a second chance to save Rikka. But when I told them that they actually died, and we had all gone back in time, they gave me blank stares. None of them remembered ever dyin', nor did Rikka remember that she had been depressed and killed everyone. They remembered nothin'. Nada. It was only me. I shrugged it off at first, thinkin' that maybe God was givin' me a chance to save my friends. So, I relived that month, tryin' to cheer Rikka up so that she wouldn't go crazy and kill everyone."

"...I failed. I watched hopelessly as history repeated itself - the dead counsellor, Kureha-chan with an axe in her forehead, Eruna with a dagger in her heart... And me runnin' away again... Huh, you'd think I would have stayed back and stopped Rikka from killin' herself, but I was too scared... I was scared out of my wits. Because the next thing I knew, I was in my room again, guitar in hand. How was it possible that I could go back in time? I knew what was going to happen next. I ran out of my room, saw my siblings playin' their fool game, saw the calendar, ran to Rikka's house, saw the funeral... It was happenin' all over again... This time, I tried a different tact - I took Rikka to a therapist right away. It didn't work... By the end of the month, she succumbed to Despair and turned into a Witch, Bellatosa, and I had to kill her... But my sufferin' didn't end there. All of a sudden, space warped around me and I found myself standin' once more in my room, guitar in hand, siblings outside my room playin' their fool game. Everythin' was repeatin' itself for one month, and I was trapped in it, aware that everythin' was replayin' in an endless loop. No one else knew about this, and I couldn't tell anyone cuz they might throw me into a mental hospital or somethin'."

"After that timeline, the rest passed by in a blur. I failed to save Rikka for around twenty times before I finally came up with a method to prevent her from going crazy. She was saved in that timeline, and I hoped and prayed that it wouldn't rewind to a month ago, but the blasted thing had a mind of its own and went back to the frickin' start. I tried that new method again, but it didn't work this time. And like that, I repeated the same thing over and over, sometimes succeedin' in savin' Rikka, other times, endin' up havin' to kill her because she turned into a Witch. I was goin' mad. I kept wonderin' when would this livin' nightmare end. I wanted to just save Rikka and stop this whole madness. But at the same time, I was scared that time would stop repeatin' in a timeline that I failed to save her. I wouldn't be able to face another day knowin' that I failed to keep my best friend alive."

"I lost track of how many times I redid the whole thing. But finally, finally, one day, after Rikka had come out of her depression and was safe, time did not rewind. I couldn't believe it at first. I was expectin' to be dragged back to my room with my guitar in hand, but it didn't happen. It was so... amazing to see a new day that had somethin' different in it... I-I can't describe my feelin's then, but-" Tera hastily wiped away a tear, her breath shuddering with the memory. Her elation when she realised she had survived the ordeal and saved Rikka from her death was extremely great, so much so that she cried pure tears of relief, and couldn't stop the overflowing emotions for a full week. But her story still had one last part to narrate. She gathered herself and sat up bravely, holding her head up high.

"...I have done my duty as friend and protector, but even so... Death loves Rikka more. She died today - her death was inevitable. It was as if the very God she worshipped wanted her dead. I only just prolonged her life..." Tera hung her head, shaking it slowly. She curled her fingernails into her thighs cruelly, holding back the choke in her throat. "S-So, I won't say that my efforts h-h-have been useless, c-cause they weren't, because R-Rikka lived happily for eight more months, and I loved every moment I s-spent with her! I l-love her so much, she was like family, but now s-she's gone... She- d-died...for good...." An unforgiving swell in her chest was all Tera need to start crying. She ground her fists hard into her lap, her breath rattling like badly-played xylophones.

Akira placed a hand on Tera's shoulder, her other hand going to the young girl's face to wipe away her tears gently. "Hush, you've done well, Tera-chan. Thank you for telling us," she said softly. Shika handed Tera a handkerchief, and the tiger took it wordlessly, smashing it into her face to muffle her sobs.

The Earth Elemental looked extremely disturbed. She watched through half-lidded eyes at her two friends, one comforting the other. Tera's story bore an uncanny resemblance to her own - time repeating itself while everyone else seemed not to realise it. What could this possibly mean?

Tera gave one loud hiccup and looked up, her eyes and nose red. In a failing voice, she said, "H-Hey, can I excuse myself for a m-mo? I need to t-t-throw myself dramatically onto the t-toilet sink and c-cry."

Akira and Shika looked nonplussed at the weird request, but they graciously allowed her to stand up and leave. The bathroom door slammed shut and violent honks followed.

"Shika, what do you think of Tera-san's story?" enquired Akira as soon as Tera was gone, wearing a concerned expression. "She isn't lying; there weren't any signs of it in her body language, and those tears were real. However, it's not the most plausible thing you'd hear either."

"Yeah," agreed Shika slowly. "Though, I do believe her. There is no doubt that what she says is true... because..."

She paused. Now was the time to tell Akira about her past, but was she ready to do it, and was her friend ready to learn of it?

"Because...?" pressed Akira, her curious nature arising. Gears in her mind clicked hurriedly. "Why do you readily believe in such a high tale of time travelling? Does this perhaps have something to do with your own One Month?"

Shika tried not to show alarm at the mention of her experience eight months ago. "...What if I said it does?" she said levelly.

Akira's silvered brow knitted into a crease. "Then you would have to tell me the entire story right now. It has been put off for far too long. If you don't let it out, it'll be stuck in your chest forever, and it's going to affect you mentally. Freaking icestorms, it's already affecting you. Do you have any idea how much I worry looking at you in this condition? You weren't like this last time. At least you could smile naturally, and not look like you're faking it. You're guarded, you don't talk as much as before, your posture has become more rigid, and your emotions have become... unpredictable." For a moment, Akira's steady demeanour wavered, and a sliver of fear and uncertainty showed in her face, but she hid it away with her long bangs. She tried to keep her cool, watching Shika pick at the lint on her skirt in agitation.

"When I look at you, I can't see Shika Kiyomizu anywhere. All I see is this... guarded, cagey, unemotional person who tries to fake her feelings so that others won't suspect a thing. Maybe you succeeded in tricking others, but not me. No, I can see that you've changed. There's something fiercely primordial within you now, and I don't know what it is, but it's scaring me, Shika. It's scaring me a lot... It feels like I'm losing you to a monster..."

Akira swallowed back a choke, feeling her eardrums pop as the saliva travelled down her throat. Her hand reached out to clasp Shika's, as if for reassurance that her friend was still there with her. Shika automatically closed her fingers over Akira's, giving them a squeeze. She remained stubbornly mute.

A sense of panic threatened to overwhelm Akira at Shika's refusal to speak. She edged closer to her friend while still holding onto her hand, trying to make eye contact with her. "Hey, don't worry about whether I can handle your story or not because I'm a boring, logical person - I can, and I will, if that's the main thing that's stopping you from telling me. I took Tera's story quite well, didn't I? It's up to you to open up and tell me about it. It's for your own sake. Please... I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend, and you know that."

Shika tried to steady her erratic breathing. Avoiding Akira's intense, melancholic gaze, she finally said in a clipped tone, "I can't. It's too... horrible to even think about it."

"Horrible as it is, you have to tell me," insisted Akira in a plea. "Even Tera-san managed it in the end after some hesitation. I know, you have Yuki to talk to and confide to, but there are limits to what she can do for you. No, I'm not looking down on your partner's abilities. She's an amazing friend, but she's only a dog. Do you understand, Shika?"

The green-haired girl sighed and looked at Yuki, who was lying in a corner of the room, digesting every single word.

"She's right, you know?" said the Shiba Inu through telepathy, cocking up her ears to show that she was alert. "I'm only a dog. My duty is to be there for you when you need me, and to hear you out and comfort you in simple ways. To understand the human mind is out of my expertise. You're a very complex person, you know? Especially more so after the One Month. You changed. You need someone smart, who understands you, to help you. For example, let's see... Akira Oda."

"But-"

"Don't 'but' me, Shika. It's true, and that's that. Tell her. Be brave. Or you'll be screwed big time. What more after I die? Who will you talk to after that? I'm not exactly young anymore."

Shika flinched at Yuki's blunt words. She stared at the calm white dog, who looked back at her with mellow brown eyes.

"Go on, tell Akira while Tera's still away. I know you're not comfortable with talking about it when the tiger girl is here, aren't you?" said Yuki, closing her eyelids and pretending to fall asleep. "I know you can do it. I shall shuddup until you two finish talking, and congratulate you later."

Any attempts to make her dog continue speaking to her were fruitless. Yuki ignored her totally.

Mustering whatever courage she possessed, Shika gazed at Akira, who was patiently waiting for a reply. Although her senior's face was half covered by hair, it still showed plenty of emotion, and right now, it was hope and sadness mashed together in an awkward dance for dominance. Shika made herself sit up straighter, her fingers nervously playing with the strands of hair on her shoulder-slung ponytail as she glanced at their interlaced fingers.

She couldn't let Akira suffer anymore. She knew that the heir to the Oda clan was worrying constantly about her, along with her own family problems and duties to the bloodline. She mustn't pile up her worries. It was just plain selfish of her, to know of this yet do nothing about it, and she did feel guilty about it. All because she was afraid to re-live her past.

I can do this... she thought to herself, tugging at her hair with increased fervour. I cannot be selfish anymore. I cannot let Akira worry about me anymore.

"I'm ready," she said, in such a low tone that Akira almost didn't catch it. Her fingers left off playing with her ponytail and took Akira's hand away from hers gently. "However, how I tell my story would be different from Tera-san's. I don't trust myself to be able to speak fluently without breaking off. I'll need to connect our Soul Gems."

Akira nodded in relief, extending her ring hand. Her silver Gem materialised from the accessory, and she placed it on the floor between them. "Any way you wish to tell it, darling, I'm ready to hear it."

Her friend gave a humourless chuckle as she took out her green Gem, touching it to the silver one.

"Sorry, Akira, but you won't be hearing it... You'll be experiencing it."

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I have some news: I've just enrolled in university! And my classes would start on the 26th of this month. That would probably mean slower updates... I'm sorry about that >_<'' We have been told that Bachelors in Education have a ton load of assignments to do, but we have no examinations, so... yay? X'D (I have no idea)

But don't worry, I won't discontinue this story. I will see it through to the end. Thank you, all my faithful 100+ readers. I apologise on my erratic updating and laziness in writing sometimes. I promise I'll try to update at least one or twice a month, as usual.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tera's backstory has finally been revealed, and the next would be Shika's. I hope this wasn't too confusing, and I managed to get the idea across. Please do tell me if there's confusion.
And... Out of curiosity, who's your favourite character so far out of the Elemental Trio? I know Tera has quite some fans XP Please do leave some comments, I love reading them, and it makes me happy to see someone supporting my story :)

Once again, thanks for reading!

~SaitheVivana