It was no surprise that Coach Parker didn't show up to the hospital. His girlfriend, Aliyah, who I learned had been in and out of Chase's life for a little over two years, was the only relative they were able to get a hold of. She'd been in the hospital for the last forty-eight hours, sitting at his bedside, occasionally leaving to go grab something to eat. They had kept me overnight to ensure I had no external injuries, but had handed over discharge papers only to have me stick around the hospital.

I had come by Chase's room a few times, but had always remained outside and not interrupting her. She, more times than I could count, would bow her head, grasping his hand and do what I could only assume was pray for him.

Finally, at some point in the late afternoon when Jordan and Vic actually decided to trail along after me to check on him, we found him sitting upright, in the midst of a conversation with a nurse. Once she stepped out, Aliyah looked from him to the three of us in the doorway.

"I'm assuming she belongs to you." She joked. "She's been checking in for the last four hours. I'm going to go grab something to eat."

She brushed passed me with a pat on the shoulder before slipping between my brother and Jordan and disappearing out of sight. Vic broke passed me and jogged over to Chase, talking so quietly and softly I couldn't hear a word he said. Chase was smiling a little, but it didn't meet his eyes. There was only one emotion in his eyes that didn't waver for even a fraction of a second.

Pain.

"I need to get to practice. I'll call you later, V." My brother stated, making his way back over to me. He hugged me tightly, then high fived Jordan and walked out. Jordan threw himself into one of the uncomfortable chairs closest to the door, shutting it gently behind me, leaving it open just a crack for the nurses to pop in.

I wanted to run over and hug Chase, cry and thank him for what he'd done. But my feet were glued to the tile under my blood-stained white Vans.

"You're an idiot." Was what came out instead. Jordan, shocked, laughed a little and looked toward Chase.

"She's severely sleep deprived, so ignore what she says. Hasn't slept in dos dias."

Chase smiled a little. "You really should go home and get some sleep, Veronica. Vic said they discharged you hours ago."

"And leave you here without seeing how you are?" I eventually said, gaining enough motivation to cross the room to him. "You almost died, Chase. From the bullet that should have hit me."

I thought very little about my actions once I approached him. Whether it was from all the trauma, or the emotions at war inside my head, I wan't sure.

I closed the distance between us and hugged him, burying my face against his chest as I had at the rink. "Thank you."

So many times in the last few months Chase had looked me in the eyes with a vulnerability as he said the same two words. As they left my mouth now, the same vulnerability shifted in his eyes, diverting away from the pain for a second.

"This was all because of me, Ronnie.All of it. Because I had a death wish. You never deserved to be in the middle of all of this."

I angled my body a fraction on the bed next to him so I wouldn't press into his wounds. "You saved my life."

"You saved mine more times than I could count. You gave me a reason to live, Veronica." He brushed the back of his bruised right hand against my cheek. "Therefore, giving me something to die for. If I was going to die, at least it was for something, someone, I cared about."

Jordan had said something similar in regards to him defending me against Nick a few weeks ago.

"Sorry to interrupt," a quiet mousy voice came from the doorway, "but I need to change out his IVs."

***

I must have dozed off at some point while waiting for the nurse to finish up with Chase. I was stirred awake by Jordan shifting his body and Chase breaking the uncomfortable tension that was still somehow hanging in the air between the two, even after all he'd done.

"I love her." Chase confessed quietly. "I know it probably doesn't mean shit, but it needs to be said.'

Jordan's quiet chuckle shook me a little. "Oh, I know."

"What do you mean you know?" Chase responded, sounding confused.

"I've know for weeks, amigo. I questioned it at the dance because you two really hadn't been talking for that long, but that was the first time I saw like a luz en tu ojos. Your eyes, they changed when she approached you hiding behind the bleachers." Jordan's voice was quiet, but surprisingly didn't hold even an ounce of bitterness. "And again every time after that, I saw the light get brighter."

There was silence on Chase's end, but I still didn't open my eyes. I wanted to see where the conversation would go, and I knew it'd end immediately if either of them knew I was awake.

"The day I drove you home after she defended you again, too. The way you looked at her, the way you touched her, that is not the touch of a friend, amigo, that was love." Jealousy finding started lacing into Jordan's words. "Of course it was all confirmed early Saturday night when Chelsea brought her out. I saw it, her hermano saw it, everyone but her."

"I'm sorry, man." Chase said softly. "I didn't want this to happen. I know she loves you, I know you've always loved her."

"She thought it was because you wanted someone to grasp on to." Jordan responded. "And for a while, I believed that too, but I guess that was because I needed to believe it. But that love you feel, Chase, that's not from wanting her, or needing her to fill that gap in your corazon, it's something I can't wrap my head around. The connection you have, as hard as I tried to stop it, I couldn't."

My heart clenched hearing his words. There was silence for a few minutes before Chase spoke.

"But she doesn't feel the same way." Chase replied. "She made that very obvious."

"It took Veronica our whole childhood to realize she had feelings for me." Jordan laughed, breaking the harsh tension. "I think that it's possible she's neglecting her feelings and doing the same to you."

Chase sighed. "She loves you, Jordan. You can't love two people at once."

"Sure you can. You just can't be in love with two people at once." Jordan counteracted. "But I'm going to let her figure it out on her own. And if it so happens that she realizes months from now that it's not me, it's okay, amigo. Just being part of her life is what matters to me, there won't be any hard feelings."

"You're better for her anyway. You have your shit together, a future planned out for both of you."

"It's taken me months to come to terms with this. So please, callarse la boca. For now, yes, she does love me and we have the life we want in front of us. I want more than anything for that to never change, but she's been through a lot of shit, both of you have. I will never force anything."

The room stayed quiet for so long I thought maybe one of them dozed off themselves, but after what seemed like a decade, Jordan spoke up again.

"Thank you." He said. "For saving her, for being there when I couldn't be. That is something I will always hate myself for."

Chase hissed in pain, cursing under his breath. "It wasn't for you. It was for her, and I'd do it a thousand times over again, because I know she'd do the same for me."

**

Being back in my own bed wasn't as much of a relief as I thought it'd be, in fact the nightmares started as soon as I shut my eyes. I was up multiple times throughout the night. To a point where, in order to prevent Jordan, Vic, and my parents from rushing to my side, I sat up, hugging my knees against my chest crying.

I cried for Chase, I cried for myself, and I cried for Nick.

All he had ever wanted was the one thing every human on this planet craved; love. He died not feeling even the slightest hint of it. He'd believed death was the end to his suffering, and that was something I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for. I could have made him feel like he had a reason to stay, a reason to live, as I had with Chase, but I had, instead, pushed him even closer to his breaking point, until he had finally had enough.

I didn't hate Nick, not even after he'd almost killed Chase and tried to kill me. No, I felt sympathy for him. The poor broken kid that had only wished to have the life those around him did.

"He was sick." I glanced up to find Jordan in my doorway, "There's nothing you could have done to save him, Vera. You can't beat yourself up over that."

"I saved Chase." I replied defensively, "After you said the same thing."

Jordan pulled his shirt over his head, pushing the door closed with his foot. "Chase was. . . lost. He didn't understand who he was, mi vida. But Rollins. . . there was never someone there to lose."

"What do you mean?"

"Rollins never felt like a person. He never felt love. None of that. Therefore there was nothing to try and save, Vera."

I watched quietly as he joined me on the bed, touching my shoulder. I shook my head, tears blurring my vision.

"I heard what you said to Chase." I whispered. "Do you really mean what you said?"

Jordan didn't look all that shocked to hear I'd been eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

"I love you, Vera. More than you understand or realize, and a lot of my ignorance and jealousy to your connection with him stemmed from that. I don't know how you feel, I never do, mi vida. And it has something that has drove me loco about you since day one. But to answer your question, yes, I do. I want this, us, I have for five years, but you love him, I see that."

"But I'm not in love with him." I quoted him. "I. . . I don't know what I feel about him, Jordan. I know how I feel about you. I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose this all over again. You're the only sure and constant thing I've had in my life."

He hugged me, kissing the top of my head. "You won't ever lose me, mi vida. But after Saturday, I realized it was a possibility that I'd lose you, and I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. I did a lot of thinking in the hospital room."

I pulled away, eyeing him wearily through my tears. "You're not going to propose to me, are you? Now's not the time for that."

He laughed. "Dammit, you ruined my plans."

I waited a few minutes, fighting a smile of my own, until he actually explained what he was getting at.

"I'm going to Spain to visit my Papa for the summer before we start college in the Fall. Come with me." He took my hand between both of his. "Get away from all of this for a little while."

I would be lying if I said that didn't sound like a great idea. "But Vic. And Chase, and-"

"Vic isn't a baby, Vera. He can handle himself and we're going to be a few hours away for college anyway. And Chase will be locked up in that institute, mi vida. They'll take care of him. You've done your fair share of taking care of everyone else, now it's time to take care of you."

I tried to find something wrong with what he said, but realized it was my own fear of leaving my comfort zone that was pushing me toward denying his offer. In reality, I needed that. To get away from all of this for a while.

"Yeah, I'll go." I caved.

He grinned. "Great. I'll buy the tickets tomorrow. We'll be leaving the day of graduation."

I nodded, resting my head against his arm. "Sounds good."

We stayed quiet, staring at the gallery of picture frames hung over my dresser. "I thought I was going to die."

"Mi vida-"

"I thought that I wasn't going to see you guys again. I also thought about how things would have gone differently if it had been you with me and not Chase."

"What do you mean?"

I shot him a quick, sad glance. "Nick used Chase being there to his advantage, he knew me seeing him almost dying again would trigger something in me and it'd be enough to distract me so he could kill me."

"What do you think he would have done if it had been me there?"

"I don't know, Jor. I think he would have hesitated in general. He didn't have a lot against you. He despised the ground Chase walked on."

Jordan kissed me softly. "Well, you're here now, safe, you both are. He's not going to be able to hurt you guys anymore, mi amor. I love you, but please try and get some sleep."

"I love you too." I retorted softly, scooting back on my bed and resting my head on his chest. I waited until his breathing grew heavier to allow more tears to break the surface.

I couldn't bring myself to tell Jordan how wrong he was. Chase and I would never be safe from Nick Rollins. Every time we closed our eyes we'd see him before us, ready to pull the trigger at any second. Every time Chase removed his shirt, he'd see the scars on his body. Every time I'd look at Chase, I'd feel the guilt of everything that had happened and everything I didn't do and that he did.

Nick had gotten his wish. We would never forget him or what he did.