Feeling the cold, brisk wind nipping at my cheeks reminded me exactly why I'd left.

As I sat on the old oak bench I'd spent endless nights watching my little brother skate on years ago, I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic. It'd been years since we'd been back here for more than a couple days to visit our families.

"Mama, look!" My four year old son's voice stirred me out of my daze. Jordan and Vic were both a few feet behind him, watching intently as if they thought at any given moment the ice would break beneath my son's feet and he'd fall in.

I stood, throwing my scarf around my neck, suddenly wishing I hadn't forgot just how cold the winter's were here in Minnesota. My son skated fast toward me and spun around, only to spiral a few more times and fall on his butt. All three of us raced to his aid, but he fell into a fit of laughter, clapping his hands.

Jordan shook his head at our son before pulling out his phone. "Shit, I forgot to pick Chelsea up."

The last thing either of us needed was Chelsea biting our heads off again. She spent every night doing it to Jordan, but would only do it to me on occasions I couldn't keep him under control myself. The four of us coming out here for a vacation wasn't ideal, but all of us had family here that we needed to see, that needed to see how much my son had grown.

"She's gonna kick you ass." Vic joked, shoving Jordan playfully. "You know how these chicks are, man. Forget them for even a second and we're dead to them."

"Hey!" I smacked the back of my brother's head.

"I'll see you later, mi vida." Jordan hugged me, then kissed the top of our son's head and jogged toward the parking lot.

My son hugged my leg, looking up at me, blue-green eyes shining in confusion. "Where's Daddy going?"

Vic eyed me, clearly interested in hearing how I was going to explain the situation to a four year old.

Mateo knew Jordan and I weren't together and that Daddy had another girlfriend, but we hadn't ever really gone further than that, nor did we know what to call Chelsea quite yet as he'd always know her as "Tia Chelsea" and not his Dad's girlfriend.

"He went to go do Daddy things." I crouched down and scooped him up, kissing his nose. "Now how about we go back to Grandma and Grandpa's house and have some hot cocoa?"

Vic laughed to himself as he took of his nephew's skates and dropped them in his backpack.

"Stay right here. I'll go warm up the car and pull it around."

I thanked him quietly, to which he waved off and left Mateo and I to stare after him. Vic had matured so much, both mentally and physically in the last six years. He'd just recently graduated high school, and had a scout recruit him for Hockey, but he'd wanted to take a gap year to figure out exactly what it was that he wanted. The once lanky and scrawny ginger kid had grown into a brawny, dark haired, scruffy man and I wasn't at all okay with that.

I was so focused on my brother that I didn't realize Mateo had darted across the park until I heard him laughing. I raced after him, sweeping him up from the ground quickly, not paying attention to our surroundings. Seconds later we crashed hard into someone's hard chest, knocking me back, and Mateo to fall into another fit of laughter on my lap.

"I'm sorry, I- Veronica?" My head whipped up at the familiarity of the voice. Even with the harsh and quietness of it, I'd recognize it in a crowd of hundreds of people.

"Chase?" I threw my head back, my arms still wrapped tightly around my son as I took in the man in front of me.

He looked a lot older than the last time I'd seen him the summer after leaving with Jordan to Spain. A once clean shaven face was now darkened by five o' clock shadow that looked as if it couldn't decide whether it wanted to fully form a beard or not. His blonde locks, which had been about ear length then, had been cut so short it was hardly visible under his black hoodie. Striking blue eyes that had once stared into mine, tortured and agonized, were bright and glistening.

"Oh my God, look at you!" I exclaimed, pushing myself to my feet, pulling Mateo up with me so he wouldn't run off again. "You look great."

But his eyes were no longer on me, but the kid in my arms. They didn't really hold any emotion, which was unusual as he'd always been a pretty open book, at least when I'd known him.

"I didn't know you had a kid." He eventually muttered softly.

My heart sunk seeing the little emotion that entered his eyes.

I had tried to keep visiting him when I could, but after we'd gotten back from Spain, the apartment outside the college Jordan, Chelsea, and I had agreed to attend together was a good two hours away from his institution. I'd tried to visit at least twice a month, but as soon as I got pregnant with Mateo Sophomore year of college I'd stopped showing, but started writing to him instead. I had tried to explain life was chaotic and finals were coming up and everything, but eventually even that stopped because of the pregnancy and the fear of how he'd react if he'd found out.

Not long after Mateo was born, I even started pushing away from Jordan. I loved him, I still do, but I couldn't find it in me to stay in the relationship when all we would do is go back and forth in arguments that never really went anywhere. I eventually told him to find someone else, that he should have in high school instead of giving up his life and time trying to start something with me. Him being him, he'd only reassured me he loved me and our son and didn't regret any of it, but had agreed it'd be best if we both moved on.

I'd tried to find some sort of record of Chase at the institute later my Sophomore year but he'd been released and had started traveling so he didn't have to come back here. So he didn't have to be anywhere near his father.

"Hi!" Mateo waved excitedly at Chase. "I Mateo."

A hint of a smile inched it's way across Chase's face. "Hey, little man, I'm Chase."

Mateo clapped, pointing at Chase, then looking at me. "That's him, Mama! He's the superhero you told me about!"

Chase looked from my son to me, confused. "What?"

"Mama said she knew a superhero, and dat he loved her, but he was sick so he had to go away for a long time to get bedder." I felt warmth spread through my cheeks once Chase started laughing.

"Holy shit! Chase, man, is that you?" Vic appeared, saving me from embarrassment as always.

"Language, Vic." I snapped. He mocked me as he had when he was a child and approached Chase, doing the weird man hug thing that all guys seemed to do.

"You should come back to the house with us so we can all catch up." Vic offered. "I mean, if V's okay with that."

Both men and my son looked to me. I smiled, nodding.

"That sounds like a great idea."

**

Once I'd gotten Mateo down for the night, I joined my parents, Vic, and Chase in the living room, all in the midst of a conversation. As if it were there cue to go to bed when I walked in, my parents hugged Chase, then my brother and me, and went to their room.

"Well, I guess that means I should make myself scarce." Vic said mid yawn, stretching his arms behind his head. "You two kids behavior yourselves. There are children present in this house."

I tried to smack him on his way passed me, but he dodged it and stuck his tongue out childishly at me. "Love ya!"

I rolled my eyes and sat at on the couch, making a gesture toward the empty cushion beside me. "Come on, I don't bite."

He pulled his hoodie over his head and folded it over the back of the chair, stretching his toned arms behind him as my brother had moments before. In doing this, his shirt lifted a little, revealing his even more toned abdomen, but more importantly, the scars of the bullet wounds that had penetrated him years ago.

"Don't think Jordan would be too happy with you checking me out."

I snickered, leaning back into my parents couch. "Jordan and I aren't together anymore."

He laughed, then slowly stopped when I didn't join him. "Oh, you're serious? What happened? I'm assuming Mateo is his."

"Mateo is his." I confirmed quietly. "And he's also why I stopped writing to you. But Jordan and I were always arguing over the pettiest things, and it was starting to affect Mateo. As soon as we went back to being friends, it was like nothing changed. Mateo had two happy parents, who still lived together, but just weren't in love."

"I'm sorry." Chase replied. "I know how much you guys loved each other and how bad you wanted it to work."

I pulled my hair from the bun it'd been in all day and buried my hand in it. "I'm not sorry. I love Mateo and wouldn't ever regret having him. Jordan and I still love each other, maybe more now than ever. I think we were just young, dumb kids, who were trying to force a love that wasn't there."

"The love was definitely there for him." Chase retorted.

"Maybe. But I think we just kinda forced everything. Seeing him with Chelsea, I see an entirely different man. He's so much calmer, less on edge, he's happy. He's not so worried about me."

Chase blinked, surprised. "He's with Chelsea?"

"Yeah. They've been together a little over a year." I smiled. "She's pregnant with a little girl. I'm super excited for Mateo to have a sister, and happy for Jordan."

Chase stared at me for a while, a sad smile on his face. He eventually shook his head with a sigh. "You're still the same. Almost seven years and you're the same damn person."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I didn't know if I should be offended.

"It means that you still sit here and ensure everyone else is happy and loved, while you're dying on the inside. That's the same Ronnie Harper that saved my life years ago."

I looked away, dropping my hands on to my lap. "I'm happy, Chase. Really."

He snorted. "Lies."

"How are you? How's everything been? Why are you back here?" I tried to redirect the subject, and for a while, it worked.

"I'm alright, I guess. I still have my days where my thoughts get the best of me. I relapsed again a couple years ago, trying to overdose, but my college roommate found me and they saved my life. I guess it wasn't as easy without your annoying ass voice in my head telling me not to do it. I'm surrounded by people now, Veronica, but God damn I feel so alone still." He saw my concerned look. "I'm okay now. I have friends, don't worry. But I still feel like none of them really understand all the shit I've been through. Not to mention I can't keep a couple long enough to even get her in bed. Oh, and I'm here because my Dad passed away a couple days ago and I'm his only living relative."

It was my turn to laugh. "I call bull. You're attractive, Chase. And you've clearly started working out again."

"Girls see the scars that cover my body and bounce, Ronnie. I'm not worth the issues and problems even a one night stand would cause. They know under the scars are stories that they don't really care enough to here about."

Ouch.

"Damn, Chase. I'm sorry." I touched the top of his hand.

"What about you? If Jordan's so happy and has moved on, why don't you have another guy in your life?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You really want to hear about my non-existent sex life?"

"I just told you mine." He said through his laughter.

"Okay, so the way I look at it is if I couldn't make it worth with the one man in the entire world that loves me more than he loves anything else in the world, then there's no way I could make it work with some guy that just wants to get between my legs. Plus, who'd be okay with Jordan and I's relationship? And the fact we have a kid together? It's a huge mess that I honestly don't want to deal with. I'd rather focus my attention on my son."

"Are you happy, Veronica?" Chase leaned forward, elbows digging into his knees as he stared at me. "Honestly, are you happy?"

I leaned forward myself so I was level with him. "Honestly? I still have some really shitty days. I have days where every time I close my eyes I see Nick pointing the gun at us. I have days where I see you, dying little by little in my arms covered in blood. But I also have good days, where I wake up each morning to find my little boy staring at me with these perfect big eyes and the cutest smile, and he makes it all worth it. He is my happiness."

Chase reached out and grabbed my hand. "If he is your life, Veronica, then you need to find more than just him. Because he will eventually see the cracks in you that I see right now. He will see how broken you are, how hurt you are, how you put everyone else before yourself even if it's killing you inside. You can't tell me that you're actually happy for Chelsea and Jordan."

"I am." I wiped at my eyes before tears could escape them. "But I am also jealous. Not because she's with Jordan, but because she was able to accept the love that I couldn't. That she gets to have this perfect family, while I sat here and broke mine."

Chase brushed my hair off my face, wiping a tear from my cheek before it could fall even further. "You didn't break your family up, Veronica. You were selfless. You gave Jordan the opportunity to love, instead of allowing his love to turn into resentment toward you. That would have broke your family, that would have affected Mateo."

"I'm sorry that I stopped visiting you." I sniffled. "And writing to you. I'm sorry if I caused you to relapse.'

He shook his head. "Veronica, my love, stop. That was me. All me. It's time you start focusing on you. And I don't think it's just coincidence you ran into me at the park today."

I stared at him through my tears. "Then what was it?"

"I think whatever sick game Fate played back in high school, when we were teenagers, throwing you into my life when I needed someone the most, is making it so this all comes full circle. Because right now, Veronica, you need someone. Deny it as much as you want, but you need a friend, a shoulder to lean on."

"And you think you're just going to walk into my life after years and be that?"

"I do." He smiled. "Because you were there when I needed you most. Through all the attempts, through me pushing you away and sitting in denial like you are right now, you stuck by me. Now it's my turn to be there for you."

He moved closer, the distance between us so small I could feel his arm brush against mine. "I'm the first one to tell you that you don't just get help and be okay. This depression, this sickness, the mental health issues I have, it's something that'll likely be there, even if it's in the background, for the rest of my life. But I'm better than I was. I don't contemplate suicide like I used to every day. It will get better, Veronica, but you have to let it. You need to let it all go."

I nodded, smiling a little. "I hate that of all people, Fate decides we're it's favorite people."

"I don't hate that." He hugged me, then started laughing suddenly. I pulled away, staring at him.

"What? What's so damn funny?"

"Do you remember what I asked you to promise me all those years ago?" He questioned.

I nodded. "You made me promise that we'd start over if we met again."

"Yep." He popped the 'p' a little too loudly. "So how about it then? Shall we start over?"

"Sure, whatever you want, Chase." I replied.

He outstretched his hand as I spoke, ready to shake mine. "Hey! I'm Veronica Harper!"

He took my hand, eyes glistening in the dim light of the room.

"Hey, Veronica. I'm Chase."