They were laying in Travis' bed, facing each other. Both were fully dressed and watching each other. 

Travis' arm was propped under the pillow to keep out of the way. Jared was mirroring the position, except that where Travis' other hand was on the bed in between them, Jared's was being put to a different use.  

 A smile tugged at the corners of Jared's lips. Travis loved how much he loved doing this.

Jared continued to rub Travis' cock almost lazily until he scooted a little bit closer, closing both of their erections in his fist.

  "Is this okay?" Jared asked his breath hitching and hand slowing even more.

Travis remembered the last time Jared had done this; how out of control and overwhelming it felt. But right now, in his own bedroom, on a chilly Friday evening with no one home, it didn't feel nearly so scary. 

They had all the cards on the table now. They had rules of sorts now. That Travis could stop whatever they were doing, whenever he wanted to.

So far, he hadn't stopped a thing. Nor was he going to. Over a week had passed already and he'd already gotten three blow jobs and now this too. This was literally the best arrangement that he'd ever had. He was pretty sure that even a proper fuck buddy couldn't compare. They'd want something in return after all, when all Jared cared about was making Travis smile.

He could tell by the happy look on his face whenever he got Travis off. By the dreamy way he'd started gazing at Travis when he thought Travis wasn't looking. He'd had girls look at him like that before and it always went straight to his head. With Jared though, it was an even better feeling. It felt like an achievement or something, that Jared was so into him that he didn't care who knew.

Jared's hand stopped moving and Travis realized that he hadn't given an answer. Instead of speaking, he reached out, gripping Jared's shoulder before rolling the other boy over, landing on top of him with a flop.

Jared let out a startled yelp before he ended up on his back, looking up at Travis with wide, excited eyes.

Travis smiled playfully down at him and sat up.

He gripped Jared's pants and boxers, tugging them further down Jared's narrow hips, drawing a ragged breath from his friend.

It was the first time, he realized, that he'd even gone close to touching Jared intimately. The thought froze Travis for a second. His finger tips lingered on the crease of Jared's thigh. His skin was soft and over heated and milky from remaining hidden from the sun.  His cock stood obscenely between them, angry red and hard and swollen and for a second Travis wondered what it felt like.

His heart rate shifted into the next gear and finally Travis looked away, simultaneously trying to remember what he was doing while figuring out how to breathe again.

He looked up at Jared, finding him laying as still as stone, watching Travis with hooded eyes. 

Travis just pushed his own jeans down a bit further and crawled back up Jared's body, hovering above him. 

For a moment, Jared looked up at him, his expression unreadable, before he smiled softly and reached up.

When his hand laced into Travis' hair, he expected him to kiss him again but he didn't. Instead, Jared gazed up at him warmly as he reached down, clasping them again in his sure grip.

Travis let his eyes droop shut, relaxing into Jared, his head dropping until their foreheads were against each other and both of them were breathing heavily, warm air puffing against his lips. The wetter it got, the better it felt, precum slicking between them, making Travis moan.

He started to move his hips, thrusting into Jared's fist, relishing the texture, the hard grip and soft skin squeezing him. When he opened his eyes, Jared was being moved with his thrusts, up and down, like he was really being fucked.

He looked down, watching their cocks in Jared's hand. The erotic way their tips moved forward and back through his fingers.

Fuck. He actually didn't know if he'd ever had sex that felt as good as anything Jared did to him. He didn't know if anyone or anything had ever turned him on so much.

What else could they have? he wondered.

He had an immediate answer and it was out of his mouth before he could think it through.

"We should fuck," he said.

Jared's hand slipped on their cocks, Rhythm interrupted.

"Uh," he said and then clearly thinking there were more important things at hand, he sped the rhythm, jerking them harder and faster.

Travis gasped, thrusting to match the new rhythm, making Jared rock under him until he cried out, head falling back, neck exposed as he strained up into Travis.

His cum splashed out, sliding against Travis' cock and he dropped his head into the crook of Jared's neck, gasping as he came on the tail of Jared's orgasm.

They stayed like that for a while. Jared was surprisingly comfy and if not for the gentle shove Jared gave him a minute later, Travis probably could have fallen asleep like that.

Instead, he rolled onto his side next to Jared, snickering when Jared looked down at himself with a groan.

"Ew," he moaned. "It's everywhere."

Travis laughed.

"As long as its not all over me," he said, inspecting his clean shirt.

Jared rolled his eyes.

"You're so selfish," he said with a sigh.

Travis watched his friend, still smiling. Jared was flushed pink, his eyes drooping sleepily. He was so different lately. So relaxed and open. Travis wondered where that stiff, distant boy had gone. Maybe this new Jared had always been there, hiding under the surface, only letting Travis glimpse him here and there when his walls were down.

"What?" Jared asked, glancing at him shyly.

Travis snorted.

"I don't know why you're acting all embarrassed now," he said.

Jared rolled his eyes but the flush in his cheeks darkened and he looked away. He glanced at Travis again, biting the corner of his lip.

"You're staring at me," he pointed out.

Travis nodded.

"Yeah," he said. 

He knew he was being a creep, but today it was hard to look away. He didn't want to. And Jared appeared to be feeling the same, not breaking eye contact.

"I'll give you something else to wear," Travis said finally, tugging the hem of Jared's filthy shirt.

Jared nodded. His eyes dropped to Travis' lips but he didn't move.

"You know, I meant what I said before," Travis said. His fingers were still playing with Jared's shirt, twisting the fabric and sometimes finding wet spots but he didn't really care.

Jared frowned.

"About having sex," Travis reminded him.

Jared finally looked away. His eyes locked onto the ceiling as though it was suddenly fascinating.

"Right," he said.

Travis swallowed, his fingers clenching into the fabric.

"Don't you want to?" he asked. He sounded hesitant even to his own ears, vulnerability there for anyone to hear. Jared must want to do it. Why wasn't he answering?

"Jared?" he asked uneasily and his friend finally showed him some pity, a small sigh escaping him as he turned his attention back to Travis, a sad smile on his face.

"I don't think it's a good idea," he said quietly.

"Oh," Travis said, taken aback.

He rolled onto his back, suddenly understanding why the ceiling was so interesting while he fought to find something to say.

"You understand why, right?" Jared asked quietly.

Travis shook his head.

Jared audibly swallowed.

"It's just that--I mean, It's bad enough that I'm doing this much with you, you know?"

Travis frowned at his friend. Jared for his part, was watching Travis earnestly, clearly trying to imprint the meaning into his brain without having to say it.

"It's bad that we're doing this?" Travis asked uneasily. "I thought you don't care about being gay."

Jared chuckled.

"I don't," he said. 

He shook his head and let out a big sigh. 

"It's just that--you wont even give me a kiss," he said.  "And yet, you want me to give you my virginity?"

He bit his lip again. 

"I have to protect myself at least a little bit..."

Was that the start and end of the problem? The lack of kissing? Travis knew it felt weird to kiss Jared--like it was overly intimate, but right now, that didn't seem like such a bad thing. After all, they had done a lot worse. Travis could start kissing him. Especially if that was all it took to keep Jared smiling happily next to him.

Still, his fingers were trembling when he touched Jared's jaw. The slight texture of stubble on his skin sent a pleasant thrill through Travis.

Surprised, Jared let Travis turn his face toward him.

Neither of them were breathing as he inched closer. In that moment, Travis was hyper aware. The pale specks of green in Jared's eyes stood out brightly, the silence of the house and rustle of sheets as he shifted, burned his ears. His heart was pounding again, each beat sharp against his ribs. The softest touch of their lips tickled with sensation. And then the front door slammed open and Travis stopped.

Familiar voices chatting loudly, were easily carried down the hall of their single story house, right to Travis bedroom.

They were so close. Jared was frozen under him in anticipation. Travis had come this far. He wanted to keep going but his mother's heavy footsteps stomped down the hall toward his room.

He and Jared pulled apart simultaneously. Travis sat up in bed, tugging his pants back up while Jared did the same. 

"Travis, you home?" his mother called from half way down the hall.

"Yeah!" he shouted, relieved that she had stopped walking.

"Is Jared with you? His parents are here to see him."

They exchanged a curious look.

"He's here," Travis said. 

"Come out here, quick!" she said.

Travis jumped up, straightening out his clothes before he pulled open a drawer, finding a plain white T-shirt and throwing it at Jared.

His friend caught it midair before pulling his own shirt off.

Travis watched him change, regret filling him by the time Jared was straightened up and at his door. At the last second, he slid in front of Jared, stopping him from leaving.

Jared waited but Travis couldn't think of what to say.

After a moment, Jared reached up and squeezed Travis' bicep, smiling at him.

"To be continued?" Jared asked.

Travis snorted at his friend.

"You're so lame," he said, but as usual, Jared had a way of understanding Travis without needing a big explanation first. 

Weight lifted from his shoulders, he pulled open the door, leading the way down the hall to the living room where their three parents were chatting excitedly.

"There he is!" Henry boomed, the second they walked into the room.

He jumped to his feet and came forward, pulling his son into an embrace.

"What's going on?" Jared asked uneasily from under his dad's arm.

"You got a few letters today," his mom said, standing up and nervously holding up two envelopes.

The colour drained out of Jared's face the same moment Travis realized what it was.

Jared's mom wiped a tear from her eye.

"My baby's going to leave us," she said.

"Mom, stop, we don't even know if I got in," Jared said.

Travis watched numbly as Jared took the letters. The whole room was silent as he opened one, read it and then opened the other.

After a long, tense moment, he looked up.

"I got in both," he breathed. A smile pulled his lips and cheering erupted in the house. 

Everyone but Travis hugged Jared tightly while Jared laughed breathlessly. Then Travis' mom found a bottle of wine in the cupboard and five glasses were poured.

Travis took his silently. No one seemed to have noticed his silence yet. He should say something, he knew, judging by the excited look on Jared's face, he was overwhelmed and happy. Travis didn't really want to ruin that.

When the discussion began on whether to order in or go out to celebrate, he leaned over to Jared.

"Congratulations," he said.

Jared finally looked at Travis, uncertainty dimming his smile.

"Thanks," he said.

Luckily, Travis managed to speak often enough over dinner to avoid his mood being noticed and the spirit was too vibrant for Travis to bring down. Everyone had a million questions for Jared that spilled over to him. Which school will you pick? What's the ultimate career goal? Are you excited? Will you live on campus? What about you? Don't you wish you applied now? I bet you're going to miss each other.

It shouldn't have come as such a shock. After all, Travis remembered back in February when Jared had nervously sent in his applications. This had been the plan from the start. 

 Travis mostly ate in silence, sipping his wine a little too often. His mind wandered away from the conversation to the bedroom. The electric shock of Jared's lips brushing his was so vibrant that he pressed his glass to them, just too cool them.

Thank god he hadn't finished that kiss. The feeling would have been burned onto his lips forever.

~

AN: Oh Travis, you were so close.

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