Unedited

___

When Murtasim was stable, Maa Begum told Maryam to keep an eye on Haya at the door, "Haya se shaadi kyun ki?"

"Majbur tha"

"Aisi kya majburi thi? Kabhi usse theek tareeqe se baat nahi ki. Mai tumhari Maa hu janti hu k tumhe nahi pasand woh. Toh phir kyun?"

He closed his eyes remembering everything, "Tum mere peechey peechey kyun aayi?"

He had asked her, "Tumhari fikar thi mujhe".

"Koi zaroorat nahi hai. Mujhse dur raho Haya, tumhari wajeh se meri biwi ghar chodkar chali gayi. Mai nahi chahta usse is baat ka pata chaley. Bakhtu, Haya ko ghar chodkar aao"

"Ji malik"

At night he was sleeping when his phone rung, "Khan kisine gaadi par hamla kardiya"

"Bakhtu aur Haya theek hai?"

The man hesitated, "Bakhtu ko sar par chont lagi hai aur Haya bibi..."

"Bolo!"

"Haya Bibi gayab hai"

They had searched for a few hours, the next day Haya returned, her clothes tattered, sobbing.

Murtasim called for Mai, "Haya ko uske kamre mai lejaye".

___

"Kya hua tha Haya ke saath?"  Maa Begum questioned, Murtasim sighed, "Malik Zubair ne zulm kiya"

"Phir?"

"Panchayat mai ye baat lekar gaya, toh unhoney baat chupaney k liye Malik Zubair se Haya ki shaadi tey kardi. Mujhe nahi pasand Haya, magar bachpan se dekha hai, Malik Zubair wehshi hai, woh uspar bohot zulm karta.. isliye maine"

"Tumne Haya se shaadi karli? Haya par taras aagya. Khud par taras nahi aaya?"

His mother cried, "Beta meri galti thi, Haya ko ghar mai rakhna hi nahi chahiye tha mujhe. Maine usse phone par baat karte huey suna, Malik Zubair se. Ye sab Haya ka plan tha, tumse shaadi karneka aur woh usse kehri thi ke Meerab ke marne ka time aagya hai"

Murtasim panicked, "Maine Waqas ko call kardi hai", Murtasim reached for his phone. 
Dialing Zubair's number, "Kya kar rahey ho?"

__

A day passed, and Haya was beaming, "Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajiun"

Meerab must be dead at this point. She sniffled a little and went to see Murtasim, "Murtasimmm", she cried entering the room.

But her eyes widened, "Bhoottt"

"Bhoww!"

"Tum zinda ho?"

Meerab gave her a side eye, "Tumlog baatein karo mai bahar baithti hu".

Murtasim held her hand, "Nahi, yahi raho. Tumhare saamne bolunga".

"Malik Zubair se baat hui, usne kaha ya toh usse Haya chahiye ya phir meri Zameen"

"Tumne zameen dedi usse?"

"Haan tumhari jaan bachaney ke liye, " Haya panicked dialling Malik's number.

Meerab joined in, "Woh tumhe apne ghar ki Malkan banana chahta tha, magar Humne saaf inkaar kardiya, kyuki Haya ko toh sirf Murtasim chahiye na".

She was biting her lips, "Sab dediya?"

"Ghar, daulat, gaadi, zameen, paisa sab dediya."

"Tum road par aagaye?"

Meerab bit her lip, "Haan tum Murtasim ka saath dogi na, mai usse khula lelungi, ab Murtasim sirf tumhara "

Haya screamed, "Kitni chalak ho Meerab! Murtasim kangal hogaya toh ab mujhe derahi ho. Tumhare mubarak ho tumhara Murtasim, mai talaq chahti hu!"

"Mohabbat nahi karti mujhse?"

"Oh please! All I have ever wanted was to be Khanum, not your wife. Talaq do mujhe!"

"Ek shart par"

"Kya?"

"Mujhe batao uss raat kya hua tha? Apne saarey gunnah ka aiteraaf karo aur mai talaq dedunga tumhe"

Haya sneered, "Uss raat ko Meerab ko maine jhoot bola tha ki mera aur tumhara chakkar chal raha tha aur tumne uski zameen hatyane k liye pyaar ka natak kiya. Malik Zubair Anas hai, mujhe ye pehle se pata tha. Theek hai?"

Murtasim smiled feeling relieved, "Mai Murtasim Shahanawaz Khan tumhe purey hosho hawaz mai talaq deta hu, talaq deta hu, talaq deta hu..."

Haya was running away when Meerab called after her, "Kaha jaari ho?"

"Malik Zubair ke paas".

"Kyun? Usne apni baraat bheji hai, dekho", two constables entered, Haya screamed, "Kis cheez ke liye?"

"Attempt to murder!"

Meerab shouted as she was taken away. Malik Zubair was taken into custody, along with Haya.

A silence enveloped the two, Meerab's phone rang, "Jaa rahi ho?"

Meerab nodded her head, she needed some time to think.

"Lawyer ki call thi, papers initialize hogaye hai", she said with a little sadness in her voice, "Tum ab bhi talaq chahti ho?"

"Past two years have been painful for me, I am getting my life in control. Murtasim mujhe lagta hai ki, we aren't good for each other".

She looked at his condition, "Tum rest karo, mai kal aati hu. Theek hai?"

"Meri baat sunkar jao... maine bohot galtiya ki hai tumhare hawale se. Haya ki baaton mai aajata tha, shaq kiya tumpar bohot baar, I didn't trust you aur uske liye tum mujhe kabhi maaf na karna. Magar Meerab jab tum nhi thi, tab har din har ghant har pal tumhe dhunda hu. Ab jab tum mere saamne ho, toh kaise jaaney du. Please... I really love you. Tum jo kahogi, woh karunga".

Meerab took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. She glanced at Murtasim, his eyes filled with genuine remorse and desperation. Her heart ached, but she knew she had to think of her own well-being and her daughter's future.

"Murtasim," she began softly, "Karte hogey tum mujhse mohabbat, magar Murtasim tumne Haya se shaadi karke mera guroor tod diya jaise Maa Baba ne mere khwab todey they. Tumne mere saath bewafayi ki hai, meri anah kuchal di. Woh kaise bhuloon mai? 'Mai karunga Haya se shaadi' aur woh 'Qubool hai' tumhara aaj bhi mujhe soney nahi deta."

Murtasim's shoulders slumped, and he nodded slowly, tears brimming in his eyes. "Mai gunnehgar hu tumhara. Tumhe jo kehna hai kehdo Meerab. Mujhse larhlo, magar tumhari talaq waali zid nahi pura kar sakta. Mai marjaunga tumhare bina..."

Meerab's resolve wavered for a moment as she looked at him. But the wounds were still fresh, and the scars too deep.

"Tum rehpaongi mere bina? Mere saath nahi rehsakti magar mere bina reh paogi?"

The tears fell one by one, as Meerab hugged him, scared that if she didn't hug him, he would disappear. All of her broken dreams, tears, pain, reliving them as Murtasim hugged her. She was tired of being the tough one, the strong one, tears dropped as she sobbed in his arms.

"Meri kya galti thi? Kabhi kisike saath galat nahi kiya.. phir kyun baar baar saza milti hai? Padhna chaha toh, zabardasti shaadi karadi. Aur jab tumhe chaha toh... "

He felt his heart ache as she cried in his arms, he kissed her head, wiping her tears away, "Kya chahti ho?"

"Mujhe khud nahi pata, tumhari shaqal nahi dekhna chahti, magar talaq ka sochkar takleef hoti hai. Tumhara saath nahi chahti magar tum jab saath hotey ho toh sukoon milta hai".

She backs away when there is a knock on the door, the nurse had arrived.

"Take care of yourself, Murtasim. I'll see you tomorrow."

Outside the room, Meerab took a deep breath, cursing, "Meerab kamzor nahi padhsakti tum."

He had shed a few tears, and she had given in... Waqas stood outside, "Ghar chalte hai.."

Waqas noticed her disturbed look, "Kya hua? Murtasim ne kuch bola?"

"Haan..  ki mai uske bina nahi rehpaongi."

"Tumne kya bola?"

"Maine sach boldiya... talaq ka sunkar usse heart attack aagya tha Baba. Woh kamzor hai, mujhse zyaada. Woh marjayega Baba... meri tarah nahi hai woh. He pretends to be strong, but he is weak, that's why Haya could manipulate him."

"Toh uske saath rehlogi?"

"Khudke saath bewafayi nahi karsakti mai"

Waqas sighed, "Matlab?"

"Baba mera dil do hisson bat chuka hai ek jo kehta hai k sab bhulakar Murtasim ke paas chali jao aur dusra... usse durr jaaney ki zidd karta hai. Kya karu mai? Aap bataye..."

"Faisla tumhara hai beta, jo bhi hoga mai tumhare saath hu. Apni khushi ko pehle rakhna seekho. Zindagi sirf compromise se nahi chalti, usmein khudki izzat aur khushi bhi zaroori hai."

Meerab looked at her father, feeling both comforted and conflicted. She knew he was right, but the decision weighed heavily on her heart.

____

The next day she went to meet him with Meesam, Meesam had learnt how to wave, she had opened upto Murtasim. As soon as she entered the ward, Meesam recognised her father, and started jumping.

Meerab placed the baby in his lap, "Meri jaan", Murtasim smothered her head with kissed as Meesam laughed holding his head with her tiny arm, "Mera baccha".

"Missed me?" Meesam cooed at him, as if answering his question and Murtasim pressed another to her cheek.

"Iske baal katane hai", Meerab said and Meesam as if realising what Meerab had said screamed at her mother making Meerab giggle. 

"Ab toh saarey baal kaantungi", Meesam screamed again this time on the verge of tears, and she started babbling to Murtasim complaining her sorrows.

"Nahi katenge baal", Meesam giggled, drooling on his hand. She seemed to giggle at Murtasim's every word.

"Kab discharge horahey ho?"

"Kal tak jaasakta hu ghar".

There was silence in between them, "Tumne socha kuch?"

Meerab didn't reply.

"Abhi bhi gussa ho?"

"Gussa nahi toh..."

"Tumne mujhe maaf kardiya kya?"

"Murtasim itne jaldi nahi maaf karskta koi. Haan gale lag kar royi thi tumhare, magar uska matlab nhi ke mai sab bhool gayi hu. Pata nahi puri dunya ke samne himmat dikati hu, aur tumhare saamne aakar tooth jaati hu. Maaf karna chahti hu, magar meri Annah... Dekho, Meesam humari beti hai. Mai nahi chahti hu ke aagey chalkar usko meri jaisi zindagi miley... "

Murtasim held her hand, "Meerab tum kya chahti ho?"

"To fight against my weakness. You are my weakness. Agar maine tumse shiyatein ki, gussa nikala toh tumhe maaf karna padega. Jo mai nhi karna chahti."

Meerab looked at the clock and sighed, "Mere office ka time hogaya hai, mai nikalti hu. Meesam ko pyaar kardo".

Murtasim kissed Meesam on the head and Meerab left.

___

Maryam finds Murtasim sitting on the bed, "Bhai aap theek hai?"

He nods his head, "Naurez kaisa hai? Tumhe khush rakhta hai"

"Bohot accha hai woh. Bohot zyada khush rakhta hai mujhe."

Murtasim smiled happy for his sister, "Ammi ne saanp paala tha ghar par, sabko das gaya aur zakhmi chod diya", she was talking about Haya.

Haya was sent to psychward and after evaluation it was confirmed that she suffered from ASPD (antisocial personality disorder).

"Maryam meri baat maanogi"

"Ji Bhai, bolye"

"Meerab se baat karona, usse bolona mujhe maaf karde. Woh tumhari saari baat maanti haina."

Maryam saw the broken look on his face, "Bhai aap fikar nahi karye. Mai Meerab bhabhi ko wapas laongi".

___

"Meerab Maryam aayi hai", Meerab who was changing Meesam's diaper stood up, "Ek minute tum Meesam ko dekho mai aayi"

She cleaned up and hugged Maryam, feeling emotional as she hugged her. Maryam was crying, "I am sorry Meerab, mere wajeh se bhai aur aapke beech ikhtelaaf aaye..."

Meerab shook her head, "Woh baatein guzar gayi hai, kya faida? Tum khush hona? "

"Aap dono sirf mere baarey mai kyun puchrahey? When you both are suffering without each other. Meerab aapne kaha tha na, aap bhai ko pasand karne lagi thi. Mujhe pata hai ki jitni mohabbat bhai aapse karte hai usse kayi zyaada aap bhai se karti hai. Isliye mere valimah ke din aap aayi thi. Jhoot mat bolyega".

Meerab sighed, "Haan mohabbat karti hu... magar kya karu iss mohabbat ka jab usne Haya se shaadi karli... nahi bhool sakti Maryam. Takleef hoti hai, ghin aati hai sochkar ke mera shauhar uska bhi tha".

"Nafrat karti ho?"

Meerab shook her head, "Nahi karpaati. Maryam ye meri zid nahi hai, mai bas nahi maaf karsakti. I was four months pregnant when I had kept my ego aside and called him, socho kya suna hoga, 'Maa Begum mai karunga Haya se shaadi'. Isse accha tha uske marne ki khabar sunleti. Itni takleef nahi hoti mujhe"

She was crying, remembering the pain she went through, "I did all of this alone, Murtasim nahi tha mere saath. Usko Haya ki izzat apni biwi se zyaada zaroori lagi. Toh mai kyun aise shaqs ke saath zindagi jeeyun? Kya pata Haya ke baad koi aur aajaye? Aur woh uske liye meri qurbaani dede. Bade dilwaala haina bhai. Apni biwi ke illawa har kisi par tasas khaata hai", Meesam got restless as she heard her mother cry, Meerab wiped her tears and started cooing at her.

___

Maryam returned back home, Murtasim was sitting outside, when their eyes met she shook her head.

Murtasim didn't say anything, just went inside the room, his eyes went to the mirror that had seen him fall in love with Meerab. His yearning, his love, his confession, his tears, his heartbreak and the destruction.

"You are my weakness..."

He punched the wall, screaming his frustration out, Maa Begum heard his scream.

"Murtasim theek ho? Haath ko kya hua?"

He shook his head, she held his face, "Galti hogayi Ammi mujhse. Maafi maang raha hu usse, woh maaf nahi kar rahi mujhe", She placed his head on her shoulder as he shed tears, "Ammi bataye kya karu mai ki woh mujhe maaf karde. Zindagi bhar maafi maangne ke liye tayyar hu usse, woh mujhe maaf kyun nahi kar rahi".

"Aap usse boley na, usse baat karey ke khula na le. Saath mai bhi na rahey mere, zindagi bhar shaqal na dekhey bas mujhse talaq na le."

Maa Begum saw her son breaking down, she wiped his tears, "Beta aise na kar teri ek beti hai, mat ro aise. Mera sher beta haina tu. Mai Waqas se baat karungi".

___

Maa Begum went to the house, "Salam Maa Begum ", Meerab greeted her, sitting on the couch beside her. She looked weaker, "Bimaar ho kya?"

"Nahi bas Meesam aajkal bohot tang karti hai. Toh nind nahi puri horahi", Maa Begum held her hand, "Beta ghar aajao".

Meerab didn't speak, "Meri galti thi, Haya ko tum dono ke beech baar baar aaney diya maine. Murtasim ki isme koi galti nahi thi. Meri saza ussena do ..."

"Mai koi saza nahi derahi Maa Begum. We were never compatible, ye shaadi nahi chal payegi."

Maa Begums sighs, "Meerab mai jaanti hu ke Murtasim ne tumhare saath na insaafi ki, maine bhi ki. Maaf na karo usse, puri zindagi bhar saza dete jao, magar saath rehkar. Tum bhi ek Maa ho, jaanti hogi, apne bete ko rotey huey dekhkar kaisa lagta hai. Woh rota hai gidgidata hai, wahi Murtasim jo kabhi apna sar jhukata nahi tha kisike liye woh zameen par sota hai. Ye kehkar ke Meerab bhi soti thi, woh sajdon mai maafi maangta hai, Meerab ek gunnah toh khuda bhi maaf kardeta hai, tum kyun nahi maaf karsakti? "

Meerab gulps, when Maa Begum folds her hands, asking for forgiveness.

"Aap ye na karey please, mujhe meri nazron mai na giraye. Murtasim se baat karungi mai".

___

The next time Meerab enters the Khan Haveli, she sees the Khan Haveli decorated, "Bakhtu aaj kuch hai kya?"

He smiles, "Aapke aur Meesam bibi ke ghar lautne ki khushi mai Maa Begum ne..."

She was coming here to talk, not returning. The hallways, the garden and Murtasim's room everything reminded her of the past.

She knocked on the door, to find Murtasim sitting on the bed, "Kaise ho?"

"Tum aagyi ho toh accha hun", he said with a smile, Meerab winced, "Murtasim mai bas milne aayi hu".

"Milne? Maa Begum ne kaha ki-"

"Maine kaha ke tumse baat karne aaongi"

He closes his eyes, "Baat hogayi, theek hai jao."

Murtasim stands up, "Murtasim meri baat suno"

"Nahi sunna, tum meri baat nahi sun rahi toh mai kyun sunu?"

She placed Meesam on the bed and pulled at Murtasim's arm, "Problem kya hai tumhara? Maryam, Maa Begum sabko pareishan kar rakha hai. Baat nahi samajh aati? Chottey bacche ho kya! Nahi rehna hai tumhare saath".

"Divorce papers layi ho?"

"Tum abhi divorce paper sign karogey?"

"Haan."

"Murtasim mai tumse baat karne aayi hu, tum keh rahey they ki mai tumhari baat nahi sunrahi, maaf nahi kar rahi. Lo tumhare saamne khadi hu, maafi maango, baat sunao".

"Koi faraq nahi padhta."

"Padhta hai, bolo kya bolna tha", she says angrily pushing him, as he stops her, holding her shoulders, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Toh suno. Ye aakhri baar hai, iske baad kabhi tang nhi karunga, na Maa aur na Maryam aayengi tumharey paas. Tum kitni nafrat karti ho mujhse? Kitna mushkil hota hai kisiko maaf karna?"

"Tum batao Murtasim kitna mushkil hota hai kisko maaf karna. Uss din tumne mujhe ghar se nikaal diya tha. Tab kyun nahi maaf kiya tumne?"

"Mujhe laga tumne badla liya tha, Maa Begum se. Sabse".

"Toh tumne meri baat kabhi suni nahi ke toh mai tumhari baat kyun sunu?"

"Kyunki Meerab tum kehti hona ke mere saamne tum tuth jaati ho... mai tumhari kamzori hu. Magar tumhare bina mai tuth jaata hu. Tum meri taaqat ho Meerab, tumhare bina mai kamzor hojata hu. "

He gets on his knees, and holds her hand, as if begging for something. He looks up at her, teary eyed, "Meerab mai aisa kya bolu ke tum mujhe maaf kardu."

She bends down taking his hand in hers, and bends down so she is in eye level with him, "Murtasim jab bhi mai aakhein band karti hu soney se pehle sirf tumhari shaqal nazron ke saamne aati hai. Magar jab mai usse chunney ki koshish karti hu tumhe uske saath paati hu. Uski taraf narmi se, mohabbat se aur tawajjoh se dekhte huey pati hu. Jab mai tumhari awaaz sunti ho toh, uske saath saath ek aur awaaz kanoon mai gunjti hai, tumhari, 'Mai karunga Haya se shaadi'. Un lafzon ne meri anah, guroor aur mohabbat sabka qatal kardiya."

She wiped his tears not realising there were tears in her own, "Tum toh sirf mere they, uska naam tumhare saath judgaya. Tumne uska naam khudke saath judne diya. Maa Begum aur tumne jo bhi Maryam ke saath hua uska ilzaam mere sar par daaldiya, theek hai uska bura nahi laga mujhe. Bas ek baat ka laga,  Baba ne jab darwaza nahi khola tha tab tumne kaha tha, 'Mere ghar chalo', wahi haath pakad kar ghar se nikala tha.. Jab akele sochne ka waqt mila toh samajh aaya ke ye ghar mera nahi tha kabhi, tumlog mere apne nahi they aur tum Murtasim...kabhi mere nahi they"

Meesam started crying, Meerab stood wiping her own tears away, "Mai chup karata hu".

What was happiness? For Meerab it was Meesam.

What was love? It was the emotion in Murtasim's eyes as he gazed at his daughter.

"Tum bigaad dogey usse", she said as he played with her, "Are you jealous?"

"No I am not", the words escaped and her eyes met Murtasim's. And they burst out laughing, "Matlab Kuch bhi?"

"Nahi hosakta haina"

"Kis baat se jealous hongi mai?"

He kissed his daughter's forehead, "Kiss for Meesam, no kiss for Meerab."

She pursed her lips, "Murtasim hogayi baat puri? Ab mai jao"

"Puchri ho toh nahi, batarahi ho tab bhi nahi", Murtasim saw how her expression changed so he continued. "Meerab, tumhe jaana hai toh jao, lekin ek baat yaad rakhna," Murtasim said softly, still holding Meesam in his arms. "Tum dono meri zindagi ho. Main tumhe phir se khone ka risk nahi le sakta."

She looked at Meesam, who was now giggling in her father's arms, "I know, Murtasim. Lekin tumhe samajhna hoga, mujhe bhi apni pehchaan wapas paani hai."

"Tumhe kabhi bhi apni pehchaan se door nahi jaane dunga," he assured her. "Par humari pehchaan alag-alag kyun? Hum ek kyun nahi?"

Meerab didn't have an answer to that. Instead, she looked away, trying to hide her tears. "Main chalti hu ab. Phir milte hai."

She knew this wouldn't be the last time they would meet, Phir Mulaqat Honi Thi...

___