Warning: This chapter is all emotions, it makes no sense. And this os is a sad one, I had warned you before, and I will warn again.

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As he entered into his room, he saw her in that black dress, her eyes mischievous as she walked towards him. Her beautiful smile gave birth to dimples, and his hands trembled as he brought them towards her. She looked down, and he followed her gaze only to find himself alone in the room. Murtasim brought his  hands to his face, covering it with his palm to not let the tears fall.

He went to the bed and lay on her side. When he closed his eyes, he felt her presence. Her eyes on him, he opened them, and there she laid looking at him with the love he had seen in her eyes at Maryam's walimah. The night passed, he fell asleep, when he woke up next the sun was up, but she was gone. He touched the pillow and woke up from his hazy state. Meerab wasn't with him. His instincts took over, and he looked at the mirror table. She revolved in his mind. Wherever he went, it was to look for her. What was his life without her?

"Kaha ho tum Meerab? Kaha ho tum?"

___

Razia Begum was one of their old servants, Murtasim Khan grew up in her arms, all his tantrums, and talks Razia was familiar with. When she had suffered from a heart attack at the age of forty, she had to return back to the village.

The servant kissed Salma Khan's knuckle out of respect, "Murtasim kaha hai?"

Maryam, who sat beside Salma, didn't know what to say. Her brother wasn't the same anymore. She had vowed in heart to never return, but when she saw his broken state, she broke her promise. Without Meerab, Murtasim wasn't the same anymore. His eyes were lost, always looking for her. Six months had passed, and he progressively got worse.

Murtasim exited his room and came by the woman's side, who blessed him, "Maine tumharey liye bohot duaein ki beta, bas tum umeed na chorna... sab theek hojayega. Tum jaldise mujhe apne ghar chod aao..."

Murtasim drove through the same streets and, on the way, came across the same house he had gone before to look for her. He could help, but stand there in the middle of the street, and look at the house. As if waiting for her to run out, an hour passed and knocked the door. The old woman from before opened the door, "Beta tum phir aagaye?"

"Ji..."

"Chai peeyogey?" She asked every week he would come over to their house after Meerab left. Ruqaiyah started feeling lonely again, but then this young man started visiting them. Ruqaiyah sympathised with him, she saw the look in his eyes, he was going crazy. As he sat on the sofa, he sighed, "Din raat ussiko dhundta hu, jab aankh band karta hu toh bohot khaufnaak khayal aatey woh zinda bhi hai?"

The tears rolled down his eyes. This man was completely different from the one Ruqiyyah met a few months ago. He was broken, and the attitude from before was gone too.

"Woh yahi thi. Teen mahine pehle tak Meerab yahi thi. Hum tab tumhe nahi jaante they, usse dekh kar lagta tha ki bichari ne bohot gam aur zulm jhelle hai. Pura din sajde mai baithi rehti, kabhi kabhar zameen pe sojaati, bahir bhi nahi jaati thi na kisise milna chahti woh Isliye humne uss din tumse jhoot bola".

"Beta tum jaantey ho woh itni udaas kyun rehti thi?"

He struggled to speak, he had thought of her as his wife, slowly he started to see her as a woman who cared too much, a woman who was scared to admit that she actually accepted him as her husband.

"Kisine uska dil toda hai... yaqeen toda hai. Bewafayi ki hai, dua karein jisne bhi kiya ho usko aisi saza mili ke woh aayenda kisika waada na todey".

"Beta usne jaatey waqt, ek khat chodha tha tumhare liye..."

He had broken the contract... he had never listened to her side of the story. Malik Zubair had played a clever game. He had kicked her out of the house in the middle of the night.

He reached home and entered his room, laying a bedsheet on the floor, he laid there, "Mai bed pe songi", the woman who didn't wanted to sleep on the sofa, had laid on the hardwood floor.

The door to his room opened, and  Maa Begum saw her son laying on the floor, "Murtasim tum theek ho beta?"

He looked over and sat up, "Ji Ammi, sojaye aap raat hogayi hai..."

He didn't want to talk. He wanted to be left alone...

She quitely left the room, months had passed but their house was still in mourning, Murtasim had stopped eating proper meals.

"Maa Begum aapne Murtasim se baat ki?"

Haya asked, standing at the corner, Murtasim wasn't still over. She had thought that once Meerab left, she could win his heart and then marry him.

"Haya woh iss haal mai nhi hai k mai usse ye baat kru, Meerab-"

"Meerab! Meerab! Meerab! Jab woh yaha thi tab bhi humesha usikey baatein karte they aaplog aur ab woh nahi toh uski yaad ka sog manarahey Khud woh Rohail k saath bhaag gayi..."

"Maine un dono ka nikkah karwakar badi galti kardi. Mujhe tumhari baat maanleni chahiye thi".

Haya smiled, "Theek keh rahi aap Maa Begum, magar abhi bhi der nahi hui. Aap mera nikkah karadein Murtasim se... dekhyega ek hafte mai Meerab ko bhool jayega".

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"Mai jaanti hu ke tum mujh tak pohoch jaogey, isliye usse pehle mai khud ye jagah ye sheher ye zindagi chodkar jaarahi hu. Mujhe ab meri pichli zindagi ki koi yaad nahi rakhni, koi raabta nahi rakhna. Tumse koi taaluq nahi rakhna...

Ek iltejaa hai, mujhe dhundna mat.

Meerab Waqas Ahmed".

As Murtasim lay on the cold floor, his heart weighed down by the burden of his shattered dreams, his mother's gentle voice pierced the silence like a mournful lament. "Tum theek ho?" she asked, her words laden with concern and sorrow. With a heavy heart, he nodded in response, unable to voice the depths of his pain.

As she sat beside him on the bed, he handed her the letter, their tears mingling in a shared grief that threatened to consume them both. "Phir tumhara kya faisla hai? Jaaney dogey usse?" she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. Again, he nodded, his resolve firm despite the anguish that tore at his soul. "Uski marzi se nikkah kiya tha. Ab uski marzi se jaaney dunga," he murmured, his words a testament to the depth of his love and respect for Meerab.

"Itni mohabbat karte ho usse?" his mother asked, her voice choked with tears. Murtasim paused, his mind swirling with memories of a love that had once burned brightly but now lay extinguished in the ashes of regret. "Jaan buchkar nahi ki maine, woh toh apne aap hogayi... bandhkar bhi nahi rakh sakta usse, khudse durr bhi nahi dekh sakta," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

Maa Begum's tears fell freely as she cradled her son's head against her shoulder, offering him what little solace she could in the face of such profound sorrow. "Phir? Woh khud zindagi mai aagey badh rahi, tum uski yaad ka sog banaogey?" she asked, her voice filled with a mother's love and concern. Murtasim's heart ached at the thought of Meerab moving forward without him, but he knew he had no right to hold her back.

"Uske illawa kya karsakta hu mai?" he whispered, his voice trembling with a mixture of resignation and despair. His mother's embrace offered him no answers, only the silent comfort of her unwavering love.

"Tum bhi aagey badho... phirse nikkah karlo Haya se woh Rohail k saath aagey badh rahi," she suggested, her words a balm to his wounded soul. And though the thought of moving on without Meerab tore at his heart, he knew that his mother spoke from a place of love and wisdom.

With a heavy heart, Murtasim nodded in silent acceptance, his mind already resigned to a future devoid of the one he had loved with all his being. For sometimes, the greatest act of love is letting go, even when it feels like your heart is breaking into a million pieces.

____

All day, she moved from the bed to the sofa, then to the window. Day turned into night, and night into day. Her baby bump started showing, to get her mind off all the stressful things, her father had suggested her to join college. As she was filling the form, nostalgia hit her, all the moments she spent with him, him looking after her, teasing her, wiping her tears away and putting his life in line to protect her.

Meerab, I love you, yaar...

The first time he had confessed, when she had found him with Haya, she didn't want to believe him. But Murtasim was always a man of principles. He never lied.

Tumhari Aadat hogayi hai, Meerab.

When he had uttered those words, she truly wanted to lower her walls and let him in. His eyes, they were always looking for her day and night. Somehow, along the way, she got used to his cheesiness, his arrogance, his dominance, whenever he called her his wife, and her heart would flutter. Out of all relationships, her father had given up on her. Her biological father never took her side. Meerab had realised that relationships meant nothing. She had given up on herself. When she was alone, Murtasim had slid in, and played the role of her husband even when she never gave him the title, even when she had refused to accept him, he had stood by her side. Fought with every single person for her.

What went wrong?

Things started falling apart after Malik Zubair's game began. Meerab was forced to marry Murtasim. She had to give up her dreams. When she saw Maryam, she could recognise her past self, Meerab wanted to live her dream through Maryam. She thought if at least one girl achieved what they truly wanted, then she herself could be happy.

Haya had framed her again...

She wasted a year before this that she used to be so bubbly, but a year in the Khan mansion had affected her psychologically. It was always Haya, Murtasim always had an excuse for her.

She wondered what if all of this was a ploy... and Haya could be right. If it wasn't, why would he take her to the village? Why bring her gajra?

Was land all he wanted? Meerab didn't care about any land, about anyone. She had lived a year with him. And in that time, she had seen so many sides of him. His caring side, he cared about her comfort over his, he spent an entire night sitting by her side to not disturb her sleep. When he had woken up from his coma, it was her name he uttered. She didn't want to accept the fact, but she liked being coddled by him. When she had fallen from the stairs, he had taken care of all her needs.

His emotional side, after the accident she had seen his disappointment over the fact that she didn't come to meet him. His possessive side, when he had attacked Rohail, was that still love or his ego? She didn't understand, but when they had reached home, she saw the tears running down his eyes when he fired the gun. What kind of love was his?

His romantic side made her heart flutter. Sometimes, it was words like, 'Shakkar nahi ek sip peelena'

'Please Meerab kuch aisa na karna ki mujhse meri dusri chahat, ek aur khwab dur hojaye', the way he had said it, she wanted to surrender herself to him, her walls were gone. In that moment, she had given up all her inhibitions towards him. She had given up her heart, and she had crossed all the stages of love. He had her heart, but she didn't have his.

Nausea hit her as she remembered that dark night again, "You are my wife, in every sense of the word."

Whenever she wanted to believe the fact that Murtasim had loved her, Haya's voice would play in her brain.

Tum galat ho. Galat. Woh tumse pyaar nahi karta. Woh sirf tumharey hisse ki zameen chahata hai.

From the start, it was all about the land and a dead man's wish. To fulfil that, they had destroyed her life, her and Murtasim were never a good match.

But why did it hurt so much?

It was her finals week. She was in a lot of pain, and Meerab eyed the landline. She couldn't help it. She crossed the distance and dialled the phone.

He picked up the call, and she heard his voice. Maybe it was the hormones because she held back her sob. The line got bad. She couldn't hear what he was saying. It seemed he wasn't talking to her. When the line got clear, the words she heard were, 'Mai karunga Haya se shaadi'.

Meerab's heart shattered into a million  fragments as his words pierced her soul like a dagger dipped in poison. Each syllable felt like a physical blow, leaving her gasping for air in a suffocating sea of anguish.

The world around her seemed to blur into a haze of pain and betrayal, the colors muted and dull as if drained of all life and vitality. Tears streamed down her cheeks like a torrential downpour, leaving salty trails in their wake as they carved a path of devastation across her delicate features.

How could he choose Haya over her? After everything they had been through, after all the love and sacrifices, how could he throw it all away for someone like Haya?

The sound of his voice, once a source of comfort and solace, now filled her with a profound sense of emptiness and despair.

Mere dil mai Haya k liye kuch nahi hai, na kabhi tha. Na kabhi hoga. Agar meri shaadi tumse naa hoti tab bhi usse shaadi possible nahi thi.

She wanted to scream, to shout until her lungs gave out, but no sound escaped her lips save for choked sobs and anguished whispers.

The world seemed to close in around her, suffocating her with its crushing weight as she struggled to make sense of the shattered remnants of her shattered dreams.

"Mohabbat toh waqt ke saath khatam hojaati lekin ishq... humesha zinda rehta"

"Bas yahi tha tumhara ishq?" 

It took him a few months to move on from her.

With trembling hands, she wiped away her tears, her vision blurred by the unrelenting onslaught of grief and betrayal. And as she stared down at the college form before her, all she could see was a future devoid of hope, a landscape barren and desolate as her broken heart.

Meerab realized that this was her reality now—a life lived in the shadow of a love that had turned its back on her, a heart that would forever bear the scars of a love story that ended before it could truly begin.

Meerab surrendered to the sorrow that had become her constant companion. For in the end, she was alone, adrift in a sea of grief, with only the beating heart of her unborn child to remind her that she was still alive.

"Deewana karke apni mohabbat mai chod diya dahleez pe usne, raat din jiski baatein karte they chod diya ghar aana usne, kaho toh chand taarey tod layenge jo kehte they, woh chaand ki tarah ojhal hogaye, kahaniyaan sunate jinhein woh khud ek kahani bankar guzar gaye..."

As the words escaped her lips, with tears from her eyes, "Murtasim tumhari mohabbat ne mujhe shayari sikhadi, aur meri mohabbat ne tumhe bewafai sikhadi".

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