Sodapop

"She was the kind of girlfriend God gives you young, so you'll know loss the rest of your life."
{Junot Diaz}

//

I BROKE DOWN, falling to the floor. I shook my head, my hands covering my face so no one could see all of the tears streaming down it. Steve got down beside me and started comforting me. "Hey, c'mon buddy, they said 'almost.' That still means that there's a chance of her surviving."

I nodded my head, realizing that I had to be positive through this. Lexie would be positive if it was me in that hospital bed. I know she would. That was the kind of person she was. 

I sat beside Darry, him ruffling my hair. I sighed and stared into space. 

This is going to be a long night. 

//

AFTER WHAT SEEMED like hours upon hours of waiting, the doctor entered. We all immediately stood up and he took a deep breath. "Lexie is stable enough for visitors, but on one condition. There has to be only one to two people in there at a time. Plus, you have to be really positive when you talk. Because if she can hear you, you don't want to say anything negative." 

We all nodded our heads, the gang letting me go first. I was right outside of the door, and I stopped to take a deep breath and gather myself. 

You can do this.

I walked in and covered my hand over my mouth. I had to look away because she looked...... dead.

I looked back towards her and grabbed a chair. I sat it right next to the hospital bed and sat down, grabbing her hand. 

"Hey, Lexie." I whispered, kissing her hand. "It's Soda."

I started talking in my regular voice. "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can I just wanted you to know that I love you. I love you so much. I know you can get through this, and if you do, I promise no one will ever hurt you again." 

I had to stop talking to contain myself from crying, but failed. My tear drops fell on her hand, slowly falling down until they hit the bed sheet.

"The gang and I never knew what innocence meant until we met you, you know." I started, a smile escaping my lips. 

"But, I figured out something. You're not innocent. Nobody in this world is completely innocent. We're all guilty of something. You have times when you lose your temper and go Dally crazy, but I love when that side of you comes out." 

I bit my lip and glanced out the window, the bright sun hitting me in the face. I turned back towards Lexie and grinned. "The sun is even shining for you, Lexie. It's shining all for you."

I swear I could hear her giggle. It was only in my mind, but it sounded so real. It's like it was right beside me, but the person laying beside me was pale and lifeless. It wasn't Lexie. It was just a body that couldn't wake up and live. 

"We need you, Lexie. I need you. So, please, wake up." I sobbed. 

//

Lexie

"WE NEED YOU, Lexie. I need you. So, please, wake up." Soda wouldn't stop crying and it was making me extremely upset. 

I hate seeing him upset. 

But, I can't wake up. I don't know how to wake up. If only someone taught me, but I guess that wasn't on the list of things for people to tell you in life. 

The whole gang is losing sleep because of me, Soda is crying because of me, and they all could've gotten killed because of me. 

It's all my fault. 

If I wouldn't have told Soda everything that day I met him, then JJ and I could probably still be living. Breathing. 

JJ. 

I still miss him. 

He may have wanted to do it at first, but I could tell he didn't want to later on. I don't even think he knew my dad was coming last night. 

Everything is messed up. And I hate when things are messy. 

I always need to fix them. 

But I can't fix a broken Soda. 

I can tell he thinks I'm not going to make it. It's the tone of his voice. Dr. Shetland used that tone all the time when he said he thinks I'll get out of the mental asylum soon. 

But, I never got out. 

I escaped. 

Can I escape this coma? 

I snapped out of my thoughts once I heard Soda speak again. "That last kiss that we had. The one before we had to play Seven Shots. I think that was the best kiss I've ever had in my life. You know that, Lexie?" 

I smiled, but I knew on the outside my face was as still as a statue. 

He got quiet again and the only sound I could make out was the beeping of the heart monitor. My heart was beating good still. 

I felt Soda let go of my hand and take a deep breath. He leaned over and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Lexie. You got this." 

I didn't want him to leave. 

I heard the hospital door close, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to keep crying and never stop. It felt like I was back at the mental asylum. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see anything ahead of me. And, I don't know how to cry anymore. 

But most of all, I felt dead inside. 

Completely hollow. 

I felt all of the blackness fade and I saw the hospital room. The problem was the heart monitor was out of control. 

My heart monitor. 

Doctors ran in the room and I looked around frantically. "Wha-what's happening?" I choked out the words. 

I couldn't breathe, and it felt like I was suffocating. 

They put a breathing mask over my nose and mouth, the doctor instructing me to breath in my nose and out my mouth slowly. But I couldn't. I was freaking out, and I needed JJ to calm me down because he was the only one who could. 

But now he's gone. 

"I need you to calm down, Ms. Madison." The doctor spoke softly, staring at me. 

I can't!

I wanted to scream those words at him, but I couldn't because my breathing was out of control. 

"Lexie, calm down!"

//

Sodapop

WE WERE STILL sitting in the waiting room, all of us still in shock. One thing is for sure, I'm never going to step foot in a bar again. 

And I won't play hide and seek either. 

The doctor came rushing out with a worried expression on his face, causing all of us to immediately jump up. "Lexie has gone into a panic attack and we can't get her to calm down. Do any of you know how to calm her down?" 

"JJ has always been the one to calm her down, but I think you should do it, Soda." Steve spoke quickly, and I nodded, running with the doctor to her hospital room. 

The doctor looked at me real quick. "Now, listen. If anything happens, it's not your fault. Lexie is already too far into her panic attack, but seeing you may calm her down." 

I went beside her bed and held her hand, watching her as she started freaking out. "Lexie, shh, look at me. Calm down. Take deep breaths." I instructed. 

She seemed to calm down a little once she heard my voice, but she still couldn't breathe. "Lexie, look at me, Princess." 

She started crying and I took a deep breath. "Lexie, you have to calm down, okay? I love you." Tears started falling down my face once again and she squeezed my hand lightly. 

"I love you, Soda." She whispered. 

The heart monitor flat-lined and my eyes went wide. "NO!" I shouted, punching the bed sheets. "No, no, no, no, no!"

The gang came rushing in along with the doctor, tears on all of their faces. "Soda..." Steve sobbed, putting his hand on my shoulder. 

"You have to let go."

I shook my head, squeezing her hand tight. 

"I don't want to let go."

//

 I'm so sorry.. I told you from the beginning this wasn't going to be a cliche, but I hope you all will enjoy the epilogue! :)