"I can't believe my baby is going on a date," Dorian fake cried, giving me proud pats on the back.

"It's not a date," I grumbled, shrugging off his hand to keep looking at myself on Sonam's mirror.

"Plus he's like thirty," she added.

"THIRTY?!" Dorian shouted, his neck muscles tightening at the same time that his eyes went wide.

"Thirty-Three," Sonam corrected, nonchalantly.

While he angrily shouted like a father finding out his young daughter sneaked out the window at midnight to go fuck her delinquent of a boyfriend, I turned and checked that every piece of clothing looked nothing less than perfect.

"Lucian, what do you think you're doing?" Dorian asked, placing both hands on his hips.

"Getting ready for a potential job interview," I answered.

He forced a villainous laugh, followed by a deadpan expression. "You think you're slick, huh?"

"Dorian, it's not a date," I asserted.

"Then why are you using your good clothes?" He pinched the top of my leather jacket.

"Because I might get a job and I need to look my best."

I was also inspired by Cedric's style. I had on a leather jacket I rarely used that matched with a pair of jeans that were too expensive for my taste. Both were gifts from Chance. And under the jacket was a plain grey T-shirt.

"Then why is Sonam giggling like someone who just found a stash of gay books?"

"Don't judge her."

He stepped closer to me, his body composed, his face showing worried expressions. "Why is a grandpa coming to pick you up? You must not know him if your own bestfriend has never heard of him."

"You have."

His head tilted like a dog hearing the treat bag shake. "I have?"

"From the bar."

"From the bar?"

"The shooting."

"The shooting?"

"Are you just repeating everything I'm saying?"

"No."

"The guy who tackled me to the ground and protected me."

His eyes narrowed. "I don't like your tone. Are you saying I should have ran out of the bathroom to body-block the bullets for you?"

"No, I'm emphasizing the fact that he risked his life to protect mine."

"I may or may not remember him."

"Well, I ran into him at the warehouse and we exchanged numbers. He says he has connections and could get me a new job."

"Fine, but he's coming in."

"Dorian—"

He ran out of the room, singing loudly to block me out.

"You guys act like you're related sometimes," Sonam said.

"We're like brothers. And just like a sibling, HE'S ANNOYING," I screamed towards the open door so he could hear me. He started singing louder when he heard me.

"You should warn Cedric. Is he almost here?"

"Yeah, I'll text him."

Hey, my bestfriend wants you to come in before we go, I texted him.

He responded back fast. I am coming in nothing. And then he noticed how that sounded and wrote again. He's fucking crazy if he thinks I'm getting out of my car.

I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. Everyone made things so complicated.

Fifteen minutes passed when Sonam got a phone call from the gates that someone was asking to enter, which meant Cedric was here. Once she gave them the thumbs up, he arrived a few seconds later and started honking outside.

Internally, I was freaking out. But on the outside, I was as calm as the eye of the storm, but it also meant that just around the corner was the most destructive part. I was literally going to self-combust from how nervous I was. It wasn't a date, but why did it feel like it was? We texted a lot, but we didn't flirt or talk about love and relationships. Yet, there was a strange feeling in the air, and it was awkward and innocent.

"What do you mean he doesn't want to come in?" Dorian whined.

"Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable going into strangers' houses?" I said.

"I hope everything goes well," Sonam told me, winking.

"She just winked," Dorian noticed. "I just saw her blink. What does that mean? What does that mean, Lucy? Why did she blink?"

"She has eyelids."

"You fucker."

"Do you want to meet him or not?"

"Fine."

I double-checked that I had my wallet and charged phone by patting my pockets. I went through a mental list of things I did to prepare for this day. I showered, shaved—not that there was much to shave in the first place—and brushed my teeth twice. Everything was good.

Before stepping out of the apartment, I took a few deep breaths and collected myself, shaking off the nerves. Dorian came with me when I finally got the strength to walk out.

"That's a monster of a pickup truck," Dorian said, admiring the shiny black vehicle parked by the sidewalk, garnering the attention of neighbors who were nosily sticking out their heads from their balconies.

Cedric was behind the wheel, leaning back against the seat, waiting for me. He casually glanced in our direction and bolted up, putting one hand on the steering wheel and using the other to push the passenger door open.

"Get in," Cedric said, beckoning his head.

I used the step on the side of the door to lift myself up and climb inside the truck. We looked at each other for a second as I sat down, and there was that strange feeling again, but it was interrupted when Dorian shut the door and propped himself on the step.

"Cedric, is it?" Dorian said, his eyes slowly squinting.

"Cedric, this is my bestfriend, Dorian," I introduced. "You probably saw him at the bar with me."

"I remember," he said.

Out of nowhere, a burning white flash hit our faces. Dorian took a picture of the both of us together.

"Why? Why did you just take a picture?" I asked.

"Evidence."

"Evidence? What evidence?"

"If he kidnaps you and rips your organs out, I'll have a picture for the FBI," he explained with a tone so serious that I believed his concerns were sincere. "And if it turns out that nothing happens, I'll have a cute photo for your wedding. But you'll have to buy it from me."

"Okay," I said quickly.

"Wedding?" Cedric wondered. I couldn't look at him. Dorian was turning this into a painful situation.

"Because I'm gay, everyone thinks it's funny and cute to pair me with every male I come across."

"That's not true," Dorian said, his high-pitched voice giving him away. "Maybe a little bit. It's not our fault that you're so cute and shippable."

"Cedric, you should run him over," I suggested.

"Jokes on you, being crushed by a truck is one of my kinks. Good luck, bitch."

"You met him, you can go now," I said, eyeing him.

"Okay, I'll leave you guys to it," he said, afraid of the look I was giving him, which was close to being murderous. "Have fun. Love you, Lucy."

"Bye, Dory."

"I'm not leaving till you say it," he threatened.

I sighed. "I love you."

"Thank you. Was that so fucking hard?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes before hopping off. "Have fun you two."

Cedric gave him a half smile and we watched him go in silence. As soon as Dorian was gone, I started to miss him. We joked around each other a lot, it was part of our friendship. Through the jokes, I knew that he was trying to tell me he was worried for me. It was a vastly dangerous world we lived in and I was getting into a spooky black car with someone who was over ten years older.

And yet, being in Cedric's presence was the safest I'd ever felt.

"Lucy?" Cedric asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. We were on the road now.

I looked at him and giggled. "He calls me Lucy and I call him Dory. It's our grandma names."

"Ce . . . Cedry," he sounded out. "Nope. Doesn't work with my name."

"You could be CeCe?" I suggested.

He gave me the side eye. "Yeah, no."

"Sorry if he made you uncomfortable," I said, staring down at my lap while I played with my fingers. "We're protective of each other."

"Didn't make me uncomfortable," he said calmly.

Cedric kept his eyes on the road, but I'd catch him every now and then trying to look my way. Unlike him, I wasn't nervous to look. And I did, for a good while. I never got the chance to truly examine him up close. The day at the bar was dark, literally. And our encounter at the bus stop was too short—not to mention he was wearing a disguise.

Cedric was . . . pleasant to look at. His face was tremendously attractive. When sunlight hit his face, his green eyes would pop like two shiny marbles, turning his face pretty and unbelievable. His facial hair was nice and clean. Even the cut that was in the process of healing looked stunning on his face.

He was wearing a plain black shirt and black cargo pants. His biceps were covered in tattoos, but I couldn't make out what they were—I was mostly getting hypnotized by his muscles.

"What are you looking at?" he asked.

I couldn't say that I was sitting there being gay and looking at every part of him, so I went with my best excuse. "Sorry, was trying to guess what your tattoos are."

"I'll show you later," he said, taking out a cigarette from one of his many pockets, this time lighting it.

"What happened to not smoking?" I recalled, trying to ignore the fact that he said he was going to show me his tattoos and there was only one way to show them to me.

He sighed and threw the lit cigarette out the window. As we stopped at a red light, he shut his eyes and rubbed them roughly, groaning as though he were in pain.

"It's hard."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I shouldn't have said anything. You can do whatever you want."

"You look nice, by the way," he said out of nowhere. Maybe he was trying to distract himself from smoking.

"Thanks. I was inspired by you."

His eyes went straight to me, scanning my entire outfit. He was chuckling when his eyes came back up. "Really?"

"I wanted to dress like you did the first time we met," I explained.

"Do you like how I dress?"

"Yeah, it's cool."

I didn't even mention that I did it because I wanted to fit in with his kind of people. If he was friends with this bar owner, then I wanted to look perfect. Now I made it seem like I was some stalker who was obsessed with him.

"Cu—Er, cool."

Pretend like he didn't say anything, Lucian, I thought to myself.

"Yeah, I feel cool." I went along like he hadn't almost just called me cute. It was clear to me that if Cedric were gay, he was not out or comfortable. "I don't really wear leather jackets, but I thought this was a good occasion."

He coughed into his fist before speaking again. "Were your parents cool with you moving out here?"

"I don't have any."

"Oh, fuck."

"Dorian is my only family. I have an aunt who kinda raised me, but she's . . . yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, it's fine," I assured and readied myself to move the subject away from any potential awkwardness. "Do you think my voice is still deep?" He snorted a response. "What? What does that mean?"

"You do. It's kinda calm, though. You should do that thing those weird people on the internet do, the whispering thing."

"ASMR?" I guessed.

"Yeah, that!"

"If putting people to sleep with my voice ever pays me a shit ton, I might."

We drove for about an hour when I realized I had no clue where we were going. I never asked Cedric where this bar was located, and judging by the distance we had already traveled, it was too far to be a viable job. Our conversations went so deep, that if I never noticed we were driving far, I could have ended in Washington.

"Cedric?"

"Yeah?" he responded, glancing at me for a quick second, as if making sure I was alright before bringing his eyes back to the road.

"Where are we going exactly?"

"Did you forget where we're going?" His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Did you forget where I live? This is far."

He slammed the breaks so fast that gravity pulled my entire body forward and the only thing that stopped me from going through the windshield was the seat-belt. I made some choking sounds as the belt snaked around my throat like it wanted to kill me.

"FUCK!" he screamed, hitting the steering wheel.

People honked behind. Luckily there was no one near us when the abrupt halt happened.

"A-Are you okay?" I asked, slowly starting to panic. Maybe Dorian was right.

"I am so sorry," he said. "I wasn't thinking. How did I not realize while driving to you that it was too fucking far? I literally spent over two hours driving. Who in their right mind drives this far for a job? For a bartender job."

"It's okay," I tried to reassure. "Honest mistake."

"An honest mistake is forgetting your keys at home, not this."

"Cedric, it's fine."

He moved the car to the side of the road as people began to honk louder. He took out another cig when the car was safely parked on the grass, stared at it, then ripped it in half and threw it back in the box.

"I just wanted to help you," he said quietly.

"I appreciate that, I really do. It's the thought that counts, right? And anyway, I was more excited to hang out with you more than getting the job, if I'm being honest."

He turned his head. "Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I liked talking to you. It made me think of how things would be face to face."

"Are you disappointed so far?" he wondered.

I shook my head. "No, why would I be?"

"Because I am disappointing."

"Cedric, I promise it's not that serious. You were probably distracted by something."

When his green eyes buried into mine, I felt chills running through my body. We stared at each other and I was frozen, like his gaze was keeping a magical lock around me. So much happened in that moment. I swear I read a thousand emotions in his eyes alone. Cedric was drowning, and instead of gasping for air, he was holding it back, too afraid, but of what?

"Yeah, maybe," he said after a while. He brought his hands back on the steering wheel and checked the traffic behind us on the side view mirror.

"We can still hang out," I said quickly, knowing what his intentions were. "You don't have to drive me back. We can go somewhere, I don't care. I have nothing to do. I'm pretty much free all day, everyday."

"Yeah, okay," he replied, sounding eager. "Do . . . you have anything in mind?"

"I don't," I said honestly. "I haven't done shit since I moved here. I have no idea where anything is. I don't even have a car. I have to take the public bus if I want to go somewhere and my best buddy doesn't want to be my chauffeur."

"I could cook you lunch if you want?" he proposed.

"You can cook?"

He smiled proudly in such an adorable way. "I love to cook. I wanted to own a restaurant when I was little."

"That would actually be cool."

"What do you like to eat?"

"This might be a bit of a let down, but I like burgers and fries," I admitted shamefully. "I'm a typical American."

Thanks to his smoking habits, his laugh came out raspy and he ended up choking.

I raised a brow at him.

"I'm quitting!" he said in defense.

"I didn't say a single thing."

"You were thinking it. I saw the look on your face."

"Was not," I lied, keeping the smug on my face as I pinched my lips to try and stop myself from smiling.

He rolled his eyes at me and smirked. "I'll cook you the best burgers."

"Great."

"Can I take you to my place? Are you okay with that?"

Holy shit. He was inviting me to his place to cook me lunch. This legit felt like a fucking date even though it wasn't. My heart was racing like I had some expectations to meet. It wasn't a fucking date though. If anything, he was the one that had something to prove. With the burger.

"Yeah, lets go."

The rest of the drive took another hour, which gave us plenty of time to keep talking. I would have been perfectly fine with this being our hangout session. I used to do it all the time when Dorian first got his car at sixteen years old. We drove everywhere and even parked outside of fast-food places, eating and listening to music like a couple of dumb teenagers.

Cedric lived far away, but might feel closer if traffic wasn't so bad. I definitely wasn't expecting to see him a lot, so I was going to take full advantage of the day.

Before we made our final stop, Cedric had to quickly visit the supermarket and buy some groceries. He left me in charge of guarding the car, but was kind enough to leave the windows down so I wouldn't melt in the blazing heat. When he returned, he dropped the bags on my lap and drove fast.

Cedric lived in an old school, red-brick apartment building that sat on top of a corner store. When we got there, he instructed me to take the grocery bags and wait for him inside the store. I obeyed, but hesitantly. He drove off as I quietly made my way inside the freezing cold store.

The woman at the cash register was ignoring the long line of customers. She had her back to them, busy looking at her nails like they carried the secrets of the universe.

"Hello? Excuse me?" The man in the front of the line knocked on the glass, trying to get the attention of the woman not doing her job. She never turned around no matter how many foul things people shouted at her.

I disappeared into one of the aisles as the commotion got louder. The crowd was getting frustrated and I wanted to be nowhere near in case it got violent. I went towards the back where the beverages were. I checked out the hundreds of options, wanting to pick something for my dry throat, and picked up a large can of lemon flavored ice tea.

Cedric's voice came out of nowhere, startling me as he appeared over my shoulders. He made fun of me with a quick snort when I almost dropped the can.

"If you want anything else, just pick it out," he said.

"Oh, no, it's okay. I can pay for it."

"Don't worry about it," he said, taking the can from my hands and sliding it into one of the grocery bags. He also went around and grabbed a few more items and dropped them into some of the bags I was carrying. "Alright, let's go."

"Wait, we're stealing?" I asked under my breath.

"Fuck yeah we are."

I was highly confused, yet followed him out of the store without thinking of the consequences. The woman was still distracted by her nails, so she never would have noticed that we stole a bunch of things. My heart started racing when we were outside on the sidewalk.

"Why did we steal?" I asked like the innocent boy I was.

"Cause I needed those things."

"Oh, okay. Makes sense."

"Follow me."

There was a door next to the store that we took to go inside the building. We went past a few more doors to get to the staircase and went up just once. His apartment was the one directly over the store.

"Must be nice living over a store you can steal from," I jokingly commented.

He unlocked his door, but waited with his hand grasping the knob.

"I can't remember if I cleaned or not," he said, deep in thought.

"I won't judge," I promised.

He shrugged, losing all concern, and opened the door.

"Welcome to my home!" he shouted halfheartedly.

It was a studio apartment. The left side had faded-red brick walls, the kitchen and living room. The other side had beige walls and the only room that I presumed was the bathroom, and his bed in the far corner, facing the rest of the apartment.

"I know, it's not that exciting," he said, grabbing the bags from my hands to carry them to the table that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"It looks nice," I said sincerely. "It's warm and friendly. Pretty cozy."

"If you think old looks cozy, I guess? You can sit on the couch if you want, make yourself at home."

The couch was black and could fit maybe three people. It was facing a stupidly giant TV on the wall. Right behind the couch was the bedroom section. I eyed the bed, wondering what I could find out about him. A bedroom was a private and personal thing. Even the type of bed-sheets you used could reveal a lot. And since he lived in a studio, everything was out in the open.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much to find. Just a bed, nothing around it but a closet.

As I sat down on the couch, the blonde woman from the store bolted through the front door.

At the sight of her face, my jaw dropped, but closed quickly. Her face was a mixture of many things, none of which I could accurately describe. I was a believer that people were beautiful in their own ways, and nobody could seriously be ugly, at least to me, but oh my god. There was nothing I could say, except that it was a face only a mother could love, literally. I couldn't even begin to guess her age; her body figure was like a college cheerleader ready to take over the world with her sex appeal. But her face. Dear God, her face.

"You fucking asshole," she said, and her voice . . . it was masculine, yet feminine, and raspy like she started smoking as soon as she was born. "Are you going to pay for what you took?"

"Nope," Cedric answered, not turning around to look at her, solely focused on putting the groceries away.

"If you think for a second that I'm going to pay for your shit again, you're wrong! Get a normal fucking job! The Loch Ness lizard probably makes more coins than you do, bitch!"

"Fuck. You."

She roared laughing. "You fucking wish you could have this pussy."

"Not what I'm into. At all."

Then her hauntingly empty eyes landed on me. "And who is this? Can't you date someone your own age? Pervert."

He looked at me, stared for a couple of seconds before smacking his lips. "It's not like that. And I'm not gay. Fuck off."

"You think I've forgotten what you did when you were twelve?"

"FINE!" he screamed. "I'll pay for the shit. Now leave before I throw you out the window."

"I see those burgers," she whispered. "I will come back. And when I do, there better be one for me, or it will be you who will be thrown out of a window."

"Whatever."

"Hey, little boy," she called to me.

"I'm twenty-one," I said sharply.

"Nice to meet you, twenty-one. My name is Toto. If my brother tries to put his dick in your mouth, bite it, okay? And run downstairs and let me know so I can call the police. They'll bring a doll so you can show them where he touched you."

"Not funny," Cedric said.

"Brother?"

Cedric sighed, rubbing his temples. "She's my sister. She also owns the store and she's the landlord."

"Damn right. I am the bitch who owns these streets." She crouched down like she was posing for her rap album. "Bitches better watch their backs, cause I'm gonna stomp my pussy and leave my wet print all over this neighborhood."

Cedric gagged. "I'm gonna throw up."

She stood back up, rolling her eyes at her brother. "Come on, baby brother. You have to control your gag reflex, other wise you can't suck these big boys."

"Holy fuck. Will you leave already?"

Instead of listening to him, she walked to the couch and leaned over the armrest next to me.

"Are you one of those big boys? Is that why he brought you here? Are you guys gonna practice? Can I watch? Oh, fuck." She moaned towards the end.

"Toto, if you don't leave him alone and get out, I will physically take you out."

"Let's do it, baby. I know the law."

"I'm sorry, Lucian." He sent me an apologetic look.

"Lucian? What a nice name. I can definitely hear my brother moaning your name."

Cedric let out a sharp cry. He was currently biting on his hand. He was having a hard time holding back. I didn't have any siblings, so I never went through this. I had Dorian, but he never made me angry or even slightly hate him.

I had an idea, but it could make Cedric push me off a window too.

"Yeah, I could hear him moaning it too," I said.

Toto raised her brows in amusement. Cedric on the other hand was seconds away from exploding. His face was getting red and there was nothing he could do to hide it, except maybe shove his head in the freezer.

Toto crawled over the couch like a spider and got comfortable beside me. She crossed her legs and faced me, leaning her face on her knuckles.

"Tell me," she whispered seductively. "How big?"

"It's pretty big."

"Fuck." Her moan was high pitched and way too real to be sarcastic. "Are you going to top my brother tonight?"

"I hope so."

"Do you only top?"

"I've never had the opportunity to bottom, but I would do that too."

"Yeah . . . Yeah . . . Yeah." She was biting her lower lip. And then I started to question, was she getting turned on at the thought of her brother getting fucked, or was it because she was attracted to me and she just liked picturing me doing the fucking? For my sake, I hoped it was the latter.

"Depends on what he's in the mood for, you know?"

"Oh." She began to roll her hips as if she were riding an electronic bull. "You're a . . . You're a pleaser."

"I am," I said, giving her my seductive look.

Her left hand went up to her breast. Her finger circled around her hardening nipple.

"Do you guys have condoms?" she asked. "I could go down and get you one, or two, or a few. Unless you're planning to go bare. That would be dangerously hot."

"I'd really love that, Toto."

"I'll be a while, but I promise I'll bring you some before the night arrives."

"Thank you . . . Toto."

She hopped on her feet and skipped all the way to the door, moaning as she headed out. Once she was officially gone, Cedric turned to me with a scowl on his face.

"This is why I don't ever bring anyone here," he said.

"I'm sorry, did I go too far? I was just trying to be funny."

He waved at me, shaking his head. "Not you, her."

"Toto? She's great, what do you mean?"

He frowned. "There is nothing great about that woman. And the fact that you would even play along with her shenanigans really threw me for a loop."

"I can be crazy too."

"Okay, she's mentally insane. How about that?"

I shrugged. "She didn't really make me uncomfortable. Gave me some incest vibes, but who wouldn't fuck you."

I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Um."

"Sorry, I—"

"Lucian, no matter what my sister says, I'm not—I'm not ready."

Did he just admit it? He was about to say that he wasn't gay, but he switched it at the last second. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready. So my suspicion from the very beginning was correct. My radar was immaculate.

"I understand," I spoke softly. "I'm not saying anything, but if I were, I'd tell you that you can trust me."

He raised a single eyebrow at me. "You're trying to fuck me. I don't know if I can trust you." I didn't take offense, since he smirked afterwards, clearing messing with me as I had done to him.

"I've only been with one guy," I admitted. "Time for new experiences."

"Have you always known?"

I sighed at the thoughts coming in. "It hasn't been easy, but yeah. I've always known. I lived my entire life in this close-minded town. I never got to experience the rainbow side of being gay. I never got to be feminine and free because I had to force myself to be masculine or be tormented for something I didn't even choose. Eventually I didn't care who fucked with me, but people in this world will hurt or even kill someone for being different, so I had to act like everyone else, until I met Dorian."

"I can see how close you two are."

I smiled thinking about him. "He helped me start feeling comfortable in my skin. It just isn't easy, you know? Sometimes it's okay to need people. It's a tough world for people like us."

"People like us," he said out loud.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Stop apologizing for everything." He gave me a judgmental look as he watched me struggle to keep the urges in. "It just reminded me of a song with the same title. Don't hurt yourself overthinking."

"What is it about?"

"I don't know, actually. I never really pay attention to the lyrics. I'm kinda slow in that way, but I remember the words, 'All around the world, people like you and me falling in love...' It could be gay, if you want it to be."

Those lyrics seemed beautiful. I'd have to remember to listen to the song. I pondered on it for a bit, watching him work the kitchen like it was his playground. He had bottles of spices, fresh ingredients, pans, pots, spoons, everything out on the counter. I zoned out, swallowed up by how relaxing it was being with him.

"You look at me a lot, you know?" he pointed out shamelessly.

I was about to say it, I even formed the start of the letter S with my tongue against the roof of my mouth.

"You're nice to look at," I confessed, also shamelessly.

"Do you flirt with everyone?"

"If I flirted with everyone, I would've had more than one boyfriend."

"Maybe your game is weak?"

"My game is perfectly fine, thank you."

"Good looks can't get you a new boyfriend," he began to list, using his fingers to keep track, "perfect flirting can't get you a boyfriend, and a big cock can't get you one either. You might have to reevaluate everything you know."

"Okay, first of all, I don't go around broadcasting it to the world."

"Oh, so it's true?" Looking sideways at me while still maintaining his hands on the food.

I paused, studying his face. "Are we really gonna talk about my dick?"

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to."

"Normal bros talk about their dicks all their time," he tried.

"Yeah, maybe, but it changes when both of those bros are into it."

Cedric hummed. He purposely avoided my eyes, because he must know by now that I read him pretty well. Hiding anything from me was going to be practically impossible.

"You have a point," he said.

"But yes, it's big."

He swallowed, again.

He went quiet as I expected. When he was ready to talk more, I'd be there. Until then, my new hobby of staring at him and imagining what he'd look like without clothes would suffice.

It was a new feeling, for sure. I'd never even considered what it would be like dating someone way older than me, but here I was picturing what our lives would be like if we were together. Was that a sign that I was into him? I wasn't exactly making it a secret. I even gave him signals when we first met, but he never took them. He was a gorgeous man with a beautiful youthful side. He might be over ten years older, but I saw him no different than I did people my age. It also helped that he didn't really look old. Older than me, yes, but not ancient like Dorian believed.

He reminded me of a character from this supernatural show. I couldn't remember it, but there was a similar energy shared between the both of them.

"Must be nice," he finally responded.

I smirked at how he acted. "Why? Yours isn't?"

"It's probably a little bigger than average, but . . ."

"But what?"

"It's thick. Like really thick."

I had no idea what to say to that, so I just nodded a few times like an idiot. "Are you a virgin?"

"No."

"How was it?" I asked vaguely.

"How was what?"

"Being with women?"

"I have no opinion, but they loved how thick it was, couldn't get enough of it."

"Must have hurt for them."

He shrugged. "I don't know how vaginas work."

"Never fucked anyone in the ass?"

"Nope."

"Then it has to hurt for guys. I can't even imagine what it feels like. My ex-boyfriend was a bottom. I didn't mind being either, always thought of myself as a switch. Never got to try it."

His eyes went down my body as if he were searching for something. "It would hurt you."

It was my time to swallow. The way his eyes searched my body like he desperately wanted me sent electricity through my body.

"Not if you take your time and go slow."

"I could say the same for you."

"Trust me, I'd give it to you so slow you'll still feel like it's being rammed into you by a power machine," I assured.

He snorted and laughed, wheezing at how stupid I sounded. "Power machine? Jesus, dude."

"Hey!" I pointed at him. "You're laughing now, but you won't be in the moment."

"You seem confident that you're going to be fucking me."

I raised my hands in defense. "All I'm saying is, when you want it, give me a call and I will give it to you."

"Maybe I want to be the one who destroys your insides."

I crossed my arms over my chest and grinned. "You seem pretty confident for someone who's straight."

He hissed. "Ouch. You're going there, aren't you?"

I waved my hands over my crouch. "It's weird talking about my dick with a straight man, as a gay man myself."

"You're the one that started talking about your dick with my sister."

"To mess with you."

"You just want me to say it, don't you?"

"We've been eye-fucking each other since we met. I just want to know what you want."

He dropped the knife he was about to use to cut onions and turned his entire body to me.

"Look."

"Look what?" I asked when he didn't clarify.

"At my dick."

My eyes glanced down at the bulge he had hidden from me all along. He turned to the side so I could get an even better view. He grabbed it with a hand, squeezed it, made the shape more apparent than before by dragging his fingers along side it.

It was indeed thick.

"I won't say it," he said, his tone serious now. "Hopefully this answers it for now. I'd take it out if I wasn't cooking, just to mess with you back in an even bigger way." He moved back to the counter, using it to hide the boner from sight.

"I won't tell anyone. We're friends now."

"You know, I thought you were shy at first," he said, changing the subject. "Until we started texting, but now that we're hanging out, it's a whole new level."

"I've never liked being the center of attention," I explained. "My aunt took me in after my mom died, but she paid no attention to me. She was never really there, physically or mentally. I got used to being by myself and that's how I've always liked it."

"Dorian changed that, didn't he?" Cedric guessed.

I laughed softly at how accurate he was starting to be about my friendship with Dorian. "Yeah, he did. I never really let anyone in until he taught me how to be okay with it. It's really hard giving people your all and then watch them tear it up in front of you like it meant nothing."

"Sounds like you've been hurt before."

"Yeah, so I have to let you in before I stop being shy."

"You've let me in?"

"Slowly. Gradually. Yes."

"I don't know what to say. I'm glad that you trust me, because I do in fact trust you."

After eye-fucking each other some more, I got up and left the couch. He looked me up and down as I slowly made my way over to him. He was busy chopping and tossing, so I wasn't going to do anything but watch. I leaned back against the counter, far enough away that I wouldn't disturb his progress.

"So about those tattoos."

"Is this your way of asking me to take off my shirt?"

"I actually want to see your tattoos."

My plan to not disturb him while he cooked went down the drain.

"You're gonna have to take my shirt off," he said, showing me how messy his hands were. He raised his hands up before I could even process what he had asked. "Don't start being shy now."

"I'm not."

I stepped closer to him, almost face to face, and dug my fingers under his shirt. I pulled the black shirt over his head, unveiling his muscular body. I caught my gasp in my throat before it could embarrass me. His body was turning my thoughts obscene. It wasn't too muscular, but enough to make me want to beg for his arms to be wrapped tightly around me.

"What? Don't like them?"

"I haven't looked at them yet."

"I knew it . . ."

"No! I swear I wanted to see the tattoos, but your body is . . . making me feel something."

"Making you feel . . . what?"

"I don't know."

"Horny?"

"To be fair, I always am, but no."

"Then?" He took a step forward, grabbed my hand, and placed it on his chest. He only had tattoos on his arms and back. His chest was bare and naked for my eyes. I could study everything without the distraction of black ink. "Do you feel intimidated? Overpowered? Because I am very dominant."

"That's the thing," I said, swallowing a few times as the nerves got the best of me. "I've always been dominant."

"And now you're not." As he leaned to kiss me, Toto barged in, kicking the door wide open. I just now realized she was wearing hooker boots.

"What the fuck did I just walk into?" Cedric jumped and reached for his shirt. Toto closed the door behind her and marched to us, her sassy walk gaining my full attention. "What? Were you gonna pump your mayo stick over two Lucian buns and not even lock your door?"

"The food is not ready," Cedric said, wearing a shirt again.

"Interesting picture you've put in my head," I mumbled.

"You're welcome," she whispered, winking.

"Can't you knock like normal people? It's my fucking apartment, it's the least you can do," Cedric demanded furiously.

"No."

"Toto."

She clicked her tongue, getting upset. She was quieter now, more softer. "I just wanted to wish my brother a happy birthday and bring him his favorite cake."

"Birthday? Birthday?" Cedric never mentioned it was his birthday.

"If that's the case, where is the cake then?"

She scratched the back of her head. "You know Billy? The crackhead, not the ex-homosexual. He stole the cake right off the counter." Then she turned to me. "He also stole all of the condoms, so you're going to have to go bare and hope you don't catch anything from my brother."

"It's what you get for leaving the cash register unattended . . . multiple times a day. You're going to go broke if you keep paying for everything that goes missing."

"OH, LIKE YOU'RE DOING?" she was back to her regular raspy voice, deep with masculinity, sassy with femininity. "THAT'S RICH COMING FROM YOU!"

"Shouldn't you be attending the fucking cash register instead of being up here annoying the shit out of me?"

"AREN'T YOU LATE TO THE NEXT EPISODE OF 'TO CATCH A PREDATOR'?"

"I'm twenty-one," I stated again, raising a hand to get everyone's attention.

"And besides, I have Mick running the register."

"He's back?"

"Yup!"

"I still don't want you here," he told her.

"So what did Cedric do when he was twelve?" I asked, hoping to change the subject and stop them from arguing, but it only caused a storm.

"NO!" Cedric screamed.

"I love talking about this story," she said, clapping her hands. She grabbed one of the wooden chairs by the dining table and sat down.

"I do not give you permission to talk about this!" Cedric was holding a knife, but Toto had zero fucks to give.

"Our mother was an immigrant from Russia who came to the states when she turned eighteen," Toto began. "With no job and no family, she found a group of girls who took her in and taught her how to be a good prostitute, later getting bought by some rich old man to join his sex slave ring. She got pregnant, twice, and kept us both. Horrible, I know, but she did. We had the weirdest life ever. Just try to imagine being raised by a professional hooker. God, I love her. Miss her lots."

"Please, stop," Cedric begged.

"Here comes the troubling part," she continued, ignoring her brother. "We grew up around shit kids shouldn't. The things we saw should have turned us insane. And one day, when Cedric was twelve years old . . ."

"If you say it, I'm going to move out and never come back," he threatened.

"Our mom had a customer, and let's just say that Cedric took over like a brave hero who wanted to save his mommy from doing unspeakable things, but he was also a little pervert who wanted to try it."

"Wait, what?" I said, confused.

"Our mom had some dude waiting for her, she took a long time, so Cedric decided to take care of him. She walked in on them and completely flipped, almost killed the guy."

"Stop," Cedric said quietly. He wasn't moving, but his hand was shaking as it tightly gripped the knife.

"Like I said, I've always known he was gay."

Cedric dropped the spatula and stormed off, leaving us both in his apartment. My thoughts were all over the place. I couldn't form a proper sentence. I thought this story was going to be cute and innocent, like maybe Toto caught him kissing another boy, but it was actually dark. It even felt like Toto didn't have the full story, judging by Cedric's reaction.

I looked at her. She was unbothered. "You shouldn't talk about that to people."

"What? Why not? It's funny."

"It's not funny to him," I said, nodding at the door he left through.

"He's just sensitive."

Toto left after Cedric didn't come back. She went back to work, or whatever it was that she did downstairs. A few hours passed before he eventually showed up. I had cleaned up his kitchen and put everything away so it wouldn't get ruined, since I wasn't sure when he'd return.

"I'm fucking sorry," he said as soon as he stepped inside and saw me sitting on the couch alone.

"Hey," I said, getting up and meeting him halfway. "Are you okay?"

"I didn't mean to leave you here for so long. I spaced out and when I realized what time it was, I ran as fast as I could."

"But are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I needed some time alone."

"It's my fault," I said, dropping my gaze. "I asked about the story. I shouldn't have."

"It's not your fault," he reassured, smiling at me. "Toto just doesn't know when to shut up. She's always been like that."

"I still feel like it was my fault."

"It wasn't." He patted a hand on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Are you hungry? I'll have to postpone the burgers, but I can order some pizza."

"I'm starving."

He took out his phone and wallet. "You better be—I'm gonna order a lot. You're gonna be so full you won't wanna move."

He ordered four different types of pizza, with sides and dessert. When they arrived, the whole apartment smelled like heaven dipped in tomato sauce and pepperoni. He even left some for Toto. I could tell he was a good brother, but she needed some work if she wanted to be equal.

We got comfortable on the couch and watched some movies while we scarfed pizza slices down our throats. By the time we were done stuffing our stomachs, I was nestled next to him, quietly staring at the screen.

My excitement jumped when I heard the tiny meow of a cat. I glanced towards the windows and that same excitement turned into pure terror. It was getting dark.

"Shit." I checked the time on my phone and noticed my battery was also running low. "It's late."

"Oh, right," he said, as if he had forgotten that he had to drive me back. We both forgot.

"You're gonna end up driving for like six or more hours," I mentioned regretfully. "And that depends on how the traffic is, which seems to suck in California, like all the time."

"I don't mind."

"You've driven so much already."

"Then stay," he said swiftly. "Stay tonight and I'll drive you back tomorrow morning."

"That sounds like a disastrous plan," I muttered skeptically.

He rolled his eyes, groaning as he understood what was on my mind. "What do you think is gonna happen? That because we're . . ." He paused to fix his thoughts before he spoke further. "That because we're two horny men, that we can't even go one night without something happening? We're not animals. People can be friends and not want to fuck each other."

"But we do."

"We just met," he stressed.

"And? Has that stopped people before? Do people not have one-night stand and hook up on the first date?"

"Lucian." He snapped his fingers at me. "I don't have a disastrous plan. You can sleep over."

"But I don't have any clothes or anything."

"Don't worry, I have you covered." He left the couch and went to his bedroom section, searching through the closet. He came back with a clean shirt, shorts, and a new pair of briefs that he took out from an unopened plastic bag. "See? I got you."

"Thanks," I said, accepting the clothes.

"You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"I'm not gonna take your bed."

"This plan is slowly taking over, isn't it?" he said.

"It's like a fanfiction coming to life."

"What's a fanfiction?" he asked, puzzled.

"We can sleep on the bed, if you can handle it."

"What do you mean if I can handle it?" he said in a high-pitched tone.

"Can you keep your hands to yourself?"

"Can you?" he retorted.

With a smug look on my face, I eyed his crotch. "Probably not."

He gave me such a cute smile, like he couldn't help how stupid and obvious we were being. Fuzzy warmth rushed through me as I laughed back.

"There's no shame between us, is there?" he said, running around the couch to sit back next to me.

"I could die tomorrow. You think I care what anyone thinks?"

Now that there was no need to panic and rush me back to my apartment, we relaxed back and continued to watch movies. It genuinely felt nice. I wasn't the type of guy who liked going out to clubs and parties every night to be entertained. This was just perfect.

Fuck. Why was I thinking like this? We weren't a fucking couple. Cedric just made me feel so welcomed and comfortable, as if our souls had known each other for centuries, but this wasn't a date. Not even close.

When it got super late, Cedric excused himself and went to take a shower to get ready for bed. I couldn't stop glancing over at the bed, imagining what we looked like in it, or what would happen in it. I wanted nothing, obviously. I wasn't ready to have sex with anyone. I knew in my blood that it could easily happen between us. We had that instant connection, but if we wanted to have full-on sex, it would be something that we'd have to prepare for.

When Cedric came out of the bathroom, I didn't even cover my eyes. I purposely looked towards him, even when I had to turn my body around to see him. He was only wearing shorts and the towel hanging over his shoulders.

"I left you a new bar of soap on the counter, in case using mine bothers you. There's also a towel next to it," he said.

"Thanks."

I took the clothes he had given me and brought them to the bathroom with me. I intentionally left the door unlocked. I undressed, folded my clothes, and piled them on the counter. The mirror was exactly like it had been on the video Cedric sent. It was hard to make out my reflection, but the colors were there and made the shape of my naked body.

I took my time in the shower, soaking in the warm water splashing over my face. When every part of my body smelled like him, I turned the shower off and heard a gentle knock.

"Yeah?" I answered, quickly stepping out and wrapping the dry towel around my waist.

"Got something for you."

"You can come in."

He opened the door slightly, but did not enter. He stuck out his hand and waved a toothbrush. "I don't know what your routine is. I'm just trying to make you as comfortable as possible."

I smiled and took it. "Thanks, again."

"Yep." He closed the door.

I dried my body as fast as I could and brushed my teeth till my mouth was extra minty fresh. No reason that it needed to be extra, but you never know when you were going to be making out with someone.

This mirror was unfortunate. I wanted to look at myself and fix my hair, but it wasn't going to happen. What I looked like in his clothes would also stay a mystery. His shirt was fairly big on me, and his shorts had to be tied around the waist to stop it from sagging, but the cotton fabric was so fucking comfortable that I left out wearing the boxer briefs. I might have to steal the cloud-like shorts from Cedric.

"You can put the towel on the coat hanger," Cedric said, pointing at the wall next to the closet. He still wasn't wearing a shirt. And I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes away.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting. I hung the towel on the wall and returned to him, standing right in front of him as he looked up into my eyes.

"Are we going to bed now?" I asked.

"If you want to."

Without much thinking, I peeled my shirt over my head and let it fall on the ground. I wasn't too confident on my body, but it could be worse. Cedric shifted back, eyes wandering down my pale skin. He huffed, lips turning into a mischievous smirk.

"So much for avoiding the plan," he said.

"We're just going to sleep."

Cedric stood up. He was taller than me by a few inches. His eyes watched me, enjoyed my bare torso, but he walked around me instead of starting something. He flipped switches on the wall and lights went off, shrouding us in total darkness. The only light came from the television, which he left on.

When he came back to me, he touched my chin and moved my face around. "Your hair looks really nice wet," he said, blocking half of the screen so only a portion of my face was illuminated.

"You in general looks nice wet," I replied.

He cleared his throat, dropping his hand and moving to the bed. He pulled back the thick covers and jumped in, grabbing the remote from the edge of the bed. I followed right after, taking the other side of the bed and getting in. I laid on my side, lowering my head on the pillow he gave me, facing him as he sat against the headboard of the bed, eyes on the flashing screen on the opposite side of the studio.

"Are you okay?" he asked, glancing down.

"Yeah," I replied. "Can I ask you something?"

He slid down, copying my pose so that we were facing each other, laying down.

"Anything."

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

"It isn't important to me."

"You turned thirty-three?"

"I did."

"You look hot for an old man," I joked.

"Wow."

I chuckled and scooted closer to him. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," he said, voice low.

"Can I . . . Give you a present?"

"Sounds like a disastrous plan," he said in a mocking way, failing to replicate my voice. "Are you up to no good, Lucian?"

I shrugged. "It's your birthday."

"I'll accept your present on one condition."

"What is it?"

"I choose what the present is."

I laughed when it was clear that he knew what my not-so-disastrous plan was. "Okay, what do you want?"

He went quiet as he got lost in my eyes. Perhaps he was going over what he wanted as a birthday gift. There were so many things he could have, but in this moment there was only one.

"I've never been with another man," he began, his voice so quiet that the sound of the television was louder, even when it was across the room. "There's one thing I've always wanted to do. I've never had the opportunity or the courage, but being with you has released all of those fears from my body."

"What do you want?" I asked, impatient. "Tell me."

"Can I blow you?"

Out of all the options he could have said, a blowjob was not on the top of the list. It was out of nowhere, but it was cute. I figured he'd never been with a man or even done anything with one. Even with his own sister he was secretive and in denial. It was why I asked how it was being with women.

"Is that all you want?"

"It is."

"Can I return the favor?"

"No you may not."

I scoffed at the unexpected response. "Why not?"

"It's my birthday, not yours." He grinned.

"So it's your birthday, but you want to give me all of the pleasure?"

"Who said it wouldn't be pleasurable to me? I'd enjoy giving as much as receiving."

"How do you know if you've never done it?" I said, raising a sly brow.

"Only one way to find out." He pulled back the covers and crawled over my body, his mouth inching towards mine. As he was about to kiss me, he stopped and went to my chest instead, leaving a trail of hot kisses until he reached the shorts.

"I'm not wearing anything underneath," I told him as he lingered.

"You're prepared?" he asked, his head hovering right over my crotch. "Were you expecting it to happen?"

"No, I just thought they were really comfortable. If I wanted your mouth on my cock, I would have taken the pants off with the shirt."

"Thanks for being my first," he said, taking the shorts from the side and pulling them all the way down, exposing me completely.

"Fuck." I was a bit embarrassed, but that soon passed when Cedric began to kiss me between my legs, around my slowly growing cock. He pushed both of my legs apart and buried his nose in the small patch of hair.

"I've wanted to do this for so long," he said, eyes going up to my face. "I'm glad it's with you."

Before I could get a word in, he took me in his hand and covered the head with his warm mouth. He sucked, keeping his tongue against the skin, licking in circles till my dick was hard.

"Cedric," I moaned, arching my back as he tested to see how far he could take it down his throat.

He pulled his mouth off my dick with a slurp. "You weren't kidding, you really are big."

My eyes rolled back as he went back to deep-throating, or trying to. For a first timer, he knew exactly what to do and how to do it. He knew where to put his tongue, what rhythm to lean on, how hard he should suck and how much he should force down his throat without choking. He had me tugging the sheets, moaning loudly or quietly as if I were to release without warning.

"I admit," I started, stopping only to take a deep breathe, "I have never been this loud."

"I like it," he said, his mouth against the side of the stiff length. It was standing straight, poking his lower lip as he, too, took a breathing break. "I want to hear how good I make you feel. Don't hold back anything, okay?"

"Trust me, I don't think I can. First time, huh?"

"I've watched a lot of videos on my spare time."

My eyes snapped open as I heard a wet finger pop out of his mouth. I watched as he dragged the wet finger down between my legs, pressing gently against my hole. I didn't protest, but I had never done this even on my own time. It was the first time for me. He wasn't done there, he brought back the finger and coated it with saliva, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he put it back, enjoying my reaction as he wiggled the finger in the center, but never pushing in.

The sensations he was causing in my body made me uncontrollable. I was arching, twisting, spreading my legs further to give him the best angle. I was stripped of any previous domination. I was a toy in his hands.

The slippery finger made its way in, but only about an inch. He fucked me with it, teasing my hole until it puckered for him when he pulled out. I couldn't explain how it felt, only that I missed out on a lot. It didn't hurt, however, it wasn't his dick that he was slightly pushing in. That monster would damage me for life.

His lips returned to my cock, wrapping over the shiny head. With one hand, he pumped and twisted the bottom part, while the other fingered me until I was sobbing from the intense pleasure coming from every direction.

"You taste amazing," he said, humming as he licked the dripping slit.

My balls received the attention next. He sucked them into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the stretchy skin. He pulled and sucked hard. I hissed as his beard came into contact with my skin, but I didn't mind the scratchy feeling at all.

"You're truly something," I complimented him, resting a hand on his head as he came back up to work my length some more. "I don't think I'll be able to be as talented as you are, but I'll try." I forced him down and bucked my hips, fucking his mouth. He kept the pressure against my hole, so my legs gave out, too weak to continue.

"I'll show you a lot more than this."

The thought of him doing much more to me began the struggle of holding back, resisting against his blissful touch. "Cedric, I don't think I can—"

"Cum for me," he said, pumping my cock over his tongue. I couldn't exactly hold back when that was my sight.

His finger began to rapidly slide in and out, aiding the climax that tore through my body in waves. The first wave made my hole close tightly around his finger, tingling like I had never experienced before. My cock pulsed and jumped as I came, shooting into his mouth, landing all the way down his throat and tongue. He opened wider, accepting the next few shots with ease.

Cedric was more than happy to swallow every bit and even went back to clean with his tongue. My body came back down after riding the orgasm for what seemed like forever. My muscles felt like jello and I couldn't move or speak.

"I wan-na do it back to you," I slurred, reaching up to him with half energy.

Cedric chuckled and got out of bed to fetch a towel to clean the both of us, starting with me. He was gentle and careful, but I wasn't fragile. When he was done cleaning his face, he tossed the towel into a hamper and joined me back under the covers.

"Even if I wanted you to, I've clearly drained you," he said, his voice startling my dick and causing it to twitch. "Let's go to sleep, okay?"

"Goodnight, Cedric."

"Night, Lucian."

I had the best sleep of my life.

________________________

[Author's Message]: Oh my. Oh my. OH MY. This was such a long chapter and it went against everything I wanted for this book LFMAO. I wanted shorter chapters and instead this one turned out to be the size of three. Originally, the last scene was supposed to be an innocent handy, but OBVIOUSLY I upgraded. Lordy lord. I feel like so much is happening and you guys haven't even met most of the main characters yet. This book is gonna be fire, let me tell you. Get ready for every emotion cause OOF. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, if you did, please support me by leaving comments and voting, sharing the book to your friends, putting it in your library, following me on Twitter, joining my Discord server, ect ect ect. I will take a small break, so don't expect a new chapter next week, but I will be back asap. This chapter not only drained Lucian, it also drained me.