* guys... i've had this in my notes since the story finished and i forgot to publish it LMAO*

as we know this story was very confusing, all over the place, messy overall.

some have been siding with wooyoung some sided with san... and i was like... HUH?

what they both were doing was wrong, but overall i wrote this based on manipulation!

san was very manipulative as we can see. i just wanted to point out the bathtub scenes that came confusing to all, he was only really doing that so wooyoung would stay with him.

i said this was important because if san wasn't trying to literally die and threaten that he will wooyoung would've left. the story could've made a whole 360 turn and if i was to change that part where it would've only happened once and san wasn't so determined the story would've ended a little better than it did.

the spiritual meaning of drowning represents death, helplessness, and overflowing emotions.

but yes the bathtub scene determined how the rest of the story would go even though it wasn't noticeable it was definitely important!

i hope i presented wooyoung as the one who had more of a somewhat healthy mindset. although i did say wooyoung as well, could've been crazier than san, that was just wooyoung subconsciously hoping to impress san enough in order for san not to kill him. (san always saying he would kill wooyoung he actually would believe it or not)

you must also remember, san from the beginning vs san in chapter 23 are two different sans.

san has never received psychological help. so he's never took medicine to help him throughout the days and these were his results. i already knew my plan was to have san die. yes i know very sad but that was my plan all along. earlier i mentioned the spiritual meaning of drowning. san was going to die eventually whether it was by drowning or not.

i also never went into back stories. why was san like this? what made him like this? where are sans parents? what made wooyoung think it was okay what san did when they went on their first date? where was wooyoungs parents?

mystery! since i'm not really into writing as much as i was while creating this i leave it up to everyone to think about what san and wooyoungs past were like!

when wooyoung turned himself in i accidentally made it seem he was just ratting san out and made it his fault only. i think with this part i didn't intend to make wooyoung play the victim, i originally wanted wooyoung to turn them both in but it didn't work out as planned which i assume made everyone hate wooyoung. but it was completely unintentional to have wooyoung victimize himself but it was too late to fix it so when it came to trial part i just made wooyoung accept his fate of getting hospitalized. ( he also received other realistic punishments too but like i said i wasn't into writing but this wasn't a massive detail)

yes, san genuinely wanted to kill yeosang. all the threats he made towards yeosang verbal or action wise he was ready to do it at any second. so with the hospital scene where san was on medication yes, it was intentional for him to be vulnerable in front of yeosang because it was a different san.

the flashback date scene? yeah that was something i quickly put together and reread it and kinda went "..uh what?" at some parts (yes even i confused myself in my own writing)

but that scene plays a big part in wooyoungs character as it was the start of wooyoung witnessing who san was behind closed doors.

so why did wooyoung join him? did wooyoung actually feel something for san? no. fight or flight response.

fight or flight = The fight-or-flight-or-freeze or the fight-flight response is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.

he had to force himself feel something for san in order not to die at that moment. because he would've been next if he didn't.

in conclusion? wooyoung didn't love san at all throughout the book :) he didn't want to be responsible for sans death of san had taken his life and he didn't want to deny san of anything. he wanted to stay alive so he convinced himself he was okay with everything.

how come yeosang and everyone else okay with seeing wooyoung after all the events?

they understood wooyoung was under manipulation and didn't mean to do anything. yes. they felt very uncomfortable knowing this info but they knew wooyoung was just trying to survive.

the note. the famous note that left everyone scared shitless. wooyoung accepted the fact that what he did was unforgivable. he killed all these people in order to stay alive. he came up with ideas to impress san so he could keep living. it was a guilt too overbearing for him that he would rather die than live knowing he did harm.
i just included it in the last chapter so everyone can see what it had said LMAO

sans death was very sudden and... wow.

but it does happen. i never pointed it out but san was already underweight. going to the hospital did make it worse for him and as we can see, the hospital was so bad. i didn't make it seem that way at first but if you notice at first everyone was helpful then over time they started getting tired of san and eventually stopped trying. san was kinda already on the brink of death at the hospital so going out in the cold with nowhere to go with no food only added onto it which led to his death.

wooyoung might have gone to an asylum, but! i pointed out that he was able to hear sans voice in his head. it was the guilt of putting san in the hospital which also was a cause of his death. if he didn't put san in there he would still be alive.

but wooyoung is now okay and no longer hears san after his time at the hospital.

i think i'm forgetting some things. and this probably doesn't make sense. please do let me know if you have more questions and i'll explain again ( i'll try to LMAO) and let me know if i forgot anything!

thank you for reading and waiting like a year later for this!