Before you read, here's this. Someone commented on me not updating tonight even though I said to be thankful for it. Fight me b, fight me!! I was so tired after softball that I just fell asleep accidentally, I was going to update but I fell asleep before I could. And look at me now, updating right before yet ANOTHER SOFTBALL CAMP! You're welcome.

Also, I couldn't read last chapters comments. Wattpad is messed up.

Millie's pov

I woke up to the sound of everyone else, talking.

I groaned and reached for my phone to check the time. It was 12:00pm.

I shot up, and put my glasses on.

Noah and Gaten were talking about something, Sadie and Caleb were making out in the front, and Finn was chilling on his phone.

"Finn, why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, and he looked to me.

"You don't get a lot of sleep, I just wanted you to get some." He said, and I lightly smiled at him, and he smiled back.

We looked over to Sadie and Caleb, who were still making out.

I looked over to Noah and he grabbed a pillow and threw it at them.

"Millie's up, let's go." Noah said, and Sadie groaned, took the pillow and hit Noah with it. I moved back out of the war zone.

Sadie and I grabbed our bags and went to get ready, brushing our hair and teeth and everything.

I just changed into some athletic shorts and Finns sweatshirt from the day he gave it to me to wear. Still haven't given it back, don't plan on giving it back. It's mine now.

Sadie and I walked back to the van to see the guys were already done getting ready, and they were setting the seats back up.

I got back in and I felt Finns stare burning into the side of my face. I looked at him.

"Excuse me, I think that's my sweatshirt." He said, and I smiled and furrowed my eyebrows.

"What sweatshirt?" I asked.

"The one your wearing." He said.

"No, this is mine." I said, and he smiled at me.

"Wow, I didn't know your last name was Wolfhard." He said, and I laughed.

"Okay but why do you guys fight like you're dating." Gaten said, popping up from behind us.

"We aren't. We are just regularly arguing. Ever heard of it?" Finn said, and I laughed.

"But you guys wear those matching bracelet things." Noah said, popping out from the back too.

Finn is still wearing his.

"You're still wearing yours?" We both asked at the same time, and we both laughed.

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna make a conspiracy theory video about this." Noah said, and we both laughed.

My phone started buzzing, and it was a FaceTime call from Ava.

"Speaking of," I said, and Finn lightly took my phone from my hands, and answered it.

"Hey Ava." Finn said, and I smiled, watching them.

Her face lit up.

"Oh my gosh, cute boy!! Why do you have Millie's phone?" She asked, and I smiled.

"She's right here," Finn said, pointing the camera at me then back to him, "We are on a road trip." He said, and she was smiling. She started laughing.

"Oh my gosh Finn, I'm using the iPad to FaceTime so your face is big and you look like a frog!!"

Literally everyone in the car started laughing so hard.

"Passing the phone over now." Finn said, and giving it to me, and I smiled at him.

"Ava, I have to go, but I'll FaceTime you later." I said, and she smiled.

"Okay, Bye Millie!!" She said, and I smiled and ended it.

By now, nobody is paying attention to me or Finn.

"It's okay Finn, you don't look like a frog in real life." I said, and he turned to me and smiled.

"Okay, maybe you do when your smile is really big. But when it's not big you don't look like one." I said, and he flipped me off. I laughed, and looked out the window.

-

We stopped to get lunch, and we all went to a booth inside. We ordered, and now we were just chilling, waiting for our food to get here.

Everyone was talking about different things, and I just listened. So did Finn.

"What do you think Finn?" Gaten asked, and Finn looked over to them.

"Hm?" He questioned.

"If a girl kissed you, would you rather want them to have a flavored chapstick or a non flavored chapstick?" Caleb asked. I watched Finn.

"Flavored, because you can taste it. Like strawberry." Finn said, and I lightly smiled and looked down. Hopefully nobody saw my cheeks that were burning.

"But what if it doesn't actually taste like the flavor and it just tasted like chapstick?" Gaten asked.

"It didn't taste like chapstick when she used strawberry. So I advise, strawberry." Finn said, and Gaten shrugged.

"True true. Wait, who is she? You've kissed another girl besides Iris?" Gaten asked, and just on time, the food got here.

Thank Jesus. Gaten and Caleb immediately forgot about the conversation.

Sadie was sitting next to me, so she leaned over to me and whispered in my ear.

"Finn liked the kiss." She said, and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"How would you know?" I whispered.

"The way he just talked about it." She said, and winked.

Sadie was sitting across from Finn, so I was diagonal from him. If he's looking at me right now, I'm screwed because my face is so red.

"Millie, why's your face so red? And why are we whispering?" Noah asked, because he was sitting across from me, and next to Finn.

"Shut up Noah." I whispered, and he laughed.

-

"Okay, let's stop here." Sadie said, and we looked around.

"It's almost dark." Noah said.

"Who cares." Caleb said, parking.

We all got out, and I looked to see that there were trails, and then there was a low cliff by a river.

Everyone went running off, exploring, and I walked over to the cliff, and sat down, my feet dangling.

I looked up and saw all of the stars shining down, reflecting against the lake.

It was the perfect place.

I just sat and listened in silence for a couple minutes, fidgeting with the bracelet I had on that Ava made me.

I heard footsteps walk towards me, and they sat down next to me, legs almost touching.

"Pretty view." I said, looking out again.

"Yeah, really pretty." Finn said, and I nodded. I looked to him, to find him looking at me.

I just ignored it and looked back to the lake and the stars.

"Remember that one day in Spanish when you had to leave early because your mom found something in your room?" Finn asked, after a couple minutes of silence.

"What about it?" I asked.

"What did she find?" Finn asked, and my heart started to race. I think Finn saw nervous I was about the subject.

"You don't have to tell me." He said.

"I had a folder," I started out, and he nodded.

"It was all of my suicide notes. From Freshman and Softmore year." I said, and I felt Finns look on me. I turned to him.

"Millie-

"I know, it was bad. My life was terrible. I just wanted to stop everything. Life as I knew it. My mom made me go to this therapist during softmore year, and it was terrible. It just gave me so much anxiety, and it didn't work out. Which lead to my weird things I have now, which makes me weird." I said.

"You're not weird Millie. You're perfect just the way you are." Finn said, and I looked to him. I tried to blink out the tears, but they ended up falling down my face.

"My life was different before I met you guys. It was terrible." I said, and I felt Finns hand on the side of my face, and he turned my head to look at him, and wiped the tears from my face.

"I'm glad you met us then." He said, and I smiled.

"Me too." I said, and I put my hand on his, and slowly took it off of my face, and then I turned my hand to trace the inside of his, and I felt a bump on his index finger. I looked down and saw that there was a cut, it looked old, but it was there.

"What's that from?" I asked, and he looked down at it.

"When I grabbed the knife out of your hands." He said, and I felt tears burning to start coming out.

And I let them.

"I'm sorry." I said, and started sobbing at this point, and Finn took my hand.

"Millie, don't be sorry." He said, and I shook my head.

"I'm causing everyone here so much pain and stress they don't need. Especially you. I made you break up with Iris, then I had that whole episode with the knife thing, then I kissed you and made you confused and you didn't like the kiss or me, and here we are. I'm a horrible person." I confessed, and he pulled me away from the cliff a little and we faced each other, and hugged.

"You're not a horrible person." He said, and we broke from the hug a little, but his face was abnormally close to mine.

He wasn't looking at me, while he started to talk.

"Iris was just a bitch, I should've dumped her before I even met you, so that's not your fault. The knife thing doesn't matter to me, I'm just happy that I can help you, and it's definitely not your fault that I got a scar on my finger from it." He said, and I stopped crying so much, and he moved his hands up to my face, wiping the tears off of my cheeks, and finally looked at me.

"And when you kissed me, I'm supposed to be confused when that happens. But I liked it Millie, I liked the kiss." He said, and my heart started racing. I looked at him, and I smiled.

"Really?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Definitely. Strawberry tastes good." He said, and he made me laugh a little.

"And the whole thing with you saying you don't like me like that, I get it. We're cool now. We both like each other as friends. So you're not a horrible person, you're an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life." He said, and I smiled at him.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked out to the lake and the stars, seeing how beautiful the view is.

"I'm okay." I said, and Finn hugged me, and responded.

"I know you're not."

I just started crying again, letting it all out because I know for a fact I can't keep it in anymore.

-

I broke out of our hug after letting it out, and Finn looked at me, with concern in his eyes.

"We could stay here for a while, if you want." He said, and I slowly nodded, and shifted myself towards the cliff again, dangling my legs, same with Finn.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, and I heard him laugh softly.

"Sorry if you get bothered by all of them teasing us. It doesn't bother me that much." He said.

"As long as we know that we aren't like that and we're just friends, then it won't affect us." I said.

"Yep." He said, and I took my head off of his shoulder, and laid back onto my back, and Finn followed what I was doing.

I'm glad that I have friends that support me. And be nice to me.

Actually, I'm just glad to have friends like these ones.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Awe omg

It's the 10th today, another game, Enya's over, my room is a roaster.

KIPUSSSSSS

^ nobody will get that but I always write little diary logs after I finish a chapter to remind me of what I did that day haha I miss those days when I didn't have to worry about anything

Anyway hopefully it lets me read these comments.