Joana is Tron's girlfriend.

His paid Rent-A-Girlfriend from Portugal.

She came highly recommended for having some pretty awesome milkers, Jesus Christ you should see them. So huge.

So you probably thought Tron chose jiggly boobies over saving the world cause it'd be funny, right? That he would go play with his girlfriend and have a threesome with some other chick named Pam who's having her 28th birthday party next door. 

But then Tron remembered that this book was supposed to be an ACTION comedy. Besides, if he saves the world, he'll have a line of ladies waiting for him from Los Angeles to Antarctica. Most of them would probably drown in the ocean but there should still be enough after he's deemed an international hero.

Yeah, fuck you Pam and your shit birthday party! Tron is the only important character in this book. It was time for him to return to the Division, the top secret organization that hired him. 

But where is the Division located? It had to be located someplace no human being could ever reach. It was in a cursed barren wasteland, someplace that refugees would rather commit suicide than ever step foot in. It's a place devoid of any intelligence, style, charisma, and common logic. The absolute worst location on Earth that no one could possibly live in without dying horribly or contracting an immediate mental illness...

That place is called Australia.

Tron left his paid girlfriend and that lame ass birthday party. No one cares about you Pam, you don't even qualify as a side character. He headed towards the nearest airport in the western state, calling in advance to ensure his private jet is ready.

He had everything he needed thanks to the Division. With their support, there was nothing he couldn't accomplish.

Within a few short hours, he was already in the air. Tron is so cool that he didn't need to sit as a passenger in his own jet, rather he got to fly it himself. He had no idea how to fly a plane, but as the main character, the rules don't apply to him.

Plus, he had the added bonus of connecting the plane to an Xbox controller. That should make it easier to fly, right? Surely nothing bad has ever happened to a vehicle being controlled by a video game joystick before.

However, there was one issue. He was approaching the horrible, violent, awful, depressing, abandoned, lowlife, putrid, and despicable country that is known as Australia. The Aussies don't follow the rules, just like him. In order for him to reach the country, he needed to adapt to their environment.

Therefore, the moment he got close enough to entering Australian airspace, Tron suddenly jolted the controller's stick to the side. The plane shook as it leaned towards the right, its wings becoming vertical. Within seconds, the plane was upside down.

Gravity in Australia works differently. He had to be upside down in order to enter. Tron slightly cursed to himself. He's gonna offend a lot of people in this chapter. Who knows how many people stopped reading to report this book for racism against the Aussies?

But Tron has Australian friends, he can't be racist. Some of his favorite songs comes from an Aussie rock band. See, it's not all that bad! Australia is a beautiful place! It's so nice, it's so unique, and it's so... so uh... oh. Someone down there just got shredded apart by a crocodile while on fire. Oh my God is that a 50ft venomous snake? What kind of place is this?

Tron ignored the flaming decimation below him. Or was it above him because he's upside down? But Australia is also upside down so does that mean the ground is actually above him rather than below him? Whatever the hell the case is, he could see a landing strip ahead out in the middle of nowhere.

Tron however never landed the plane. Instead, he bailed without a parachute. His sunglasses were on, darkening his eyes as he descended rapidly towards the ground that was actually below him but also above him simultaneously, wtf?

No commercials or superheroes were here to save him cause who the hell is interested in saving anyone in this country lmao? Ever heard of an Aussie superhero? Not really, and Captain Boomerang is a villain. Anyways, Tron had a trick up his sleeve. He smacked the sides of his waist with his arms before spreading them apart. That was the trigger he needed to activate and deploy a wingsuit.

The plane blew up in a giant explosion behind him as he continued to glide through the air. Beside him, another plane showed up as fifty other people began skydiving. Every single person that fell was carrying a musical instrument. They started playing epic action music as Tron maneuvered his way through the air ceremoniously. Even some squirrel gliders accompanied the hero during the fall or rise, it depends on which direction they're actually flying towards and I give up figuring out which is which when they're upside down.

All the musicians died because they forgot to deploy their parachutes when giving Tron his own epic theme music.

Tron however had another happy landing, safely touching his feet on the ground and retracting his wingsuit. He found himself standing in front of a hotel surrounded by a desert and an unholy amount of cactuses or cacti. Autocorrect is telling me both are fine.

A mustached man wearing a cowboy hat waited for him by the entrance of the oddly shaped 5 star hotel located in the middle of nowhere. "Agent Dunce, you've arrived just in time."

"Cut the small talk Director Cuntfield, what is my mission?" Tron walked past him as the Director began following from behind.

"Hokkaido, Japan." Cuntfield spoke, keeping his head forward. "We have intel of a virus stirring in a lab someplace that we cannot directly pinpoint. We lost an agent retrieving this information."

Tron gasped. "Oh no, how did the agent die?"

Cuntfield shook his head however. "No, he's still alive. But before he could continue reporting back to us, he discovered something called anime and lost focus on his mission. Poor soul is still somewhere out there binge watching One Piece. It's not even peak fiction, I don't get why he'd watch it."

The agent turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. "Careful Director, the One Piece fans don't believe in mercy for non-enjoyers. But tell me more about my mission."

"The virus is capable of turning its subjects into the undead. That's right, this is a zombie virus we're dealing with. It is currently under production by a French doctor named Dr. Evilborn Doombringer."

"Evilborn Doombringer?" Tron asked, pondering the name. "Sounds like a friendly guy, why would he do such a thing? Damn, it must be because he's French."

Director Cuntfield sat down over a comfy sofa, watching his agent sit across from him. "He's working for the Pioneers. Group of bastards run by a notorious unnamed boss. They're terrorists, and they're going to bring all of mankind to their knees. You are the only agent I trust to get the job done. So what do you say, Agent Dunce?"

Tron thought it over, rubbing his chin as he remained expressionless. That's when he formed a devilish smirk on his face.

"It's Tron'in time."

"Something tells me this concept was inspired from another work of fiction." The Director said, facepalming slightly before finishing his dialogue. "Anyways, you are to immediately depart to the city of Darwin, located in the northernmost part of Australia. There is a flight leaving for Tokyo tomorrow morning. You are to board that plane and complete your mission. Understood?"

Tron nodded.

Cuntfield raised a finger. "And don't disobey my orders like you did in California with that helicopter. You're lucky the fangirls didn't know I was responsible for it. And if you're confused by what I mean, I'll explain it more in a flashback in a later chapter."

Tron nodded again.

"Now it's Tron'in time, for real."

"Don't reuse the same joke twice, I doubt anyone laughed at that."

Tron: "It's funny because it relates to the youthful audience that understood the reference I was making."

Cuntfield: "What'll happen when jokes eventually lose their relevance and become stale?"

Tron: "They'll have to live with the bad jokes."

Cuntfield: "But you need to give people a reason to read the next chapter otherwise they'll stop right here. Stale jokes don't help our situation."

Tron: "I'll threaten whoever's reading this to keep reading or I'll dox them."

Cuntfield: "Wattpad doesn't like that."

Tron: "I'll beg them to read, comment and vote."

Cuntfield: "Wattpad doesn't like that either."

Tron: "What the hell does Wattpad like?"

Cuntfield: "Political 'wokeness', LGBTQ characters, female leads, girl bosses, Disney adaptations with strong female characters, smut because a majority of the audience is female and porn is all they read, lesbians, minorities, mental awareness, abusive mafia love stories, main animal cast preferably wolves or foxes, bitchy leads that just complain a lot, toxic relationships, enemies-to-lovers, werewolf/vampire fanfics, cute wholesome fluffy animals, furry shit, baby daddy/momma hood gangster black fantasies, and some other things like Dystopian settings with a corrupt government that a group of fucking teenagers can somehow topple with a positive sense of humor. Oh and if you write about anything historical, it has to be an Asian rendition of Snow White for some reason with Chinese princesses and shit. If it's not Asian history, then be sure to have at least two or three gay characters as the leading cast even if it's not historically accurate, and bonus points for including a trans time traveler that reminds the audience that history was very transphobic and it's a good thing we live in a modern progressive world where everyone is treated equally unless you're a straight white man because fuck you for existing."

Tron: "..."

Cuntfield: "..."

Tron: "Do we have any of that crap in this book?"

Cuntfield: "No."

Tron: "Well I'll go fuck myself then."

Cuntfield: "Actually I take that back. I think you qualify as a bitchy lead character."

Tron: "So does that mean there's hope that people will enjoy this book?"

Cuntfield: "No. Nobody's currently reading this since we offended literally 100% of Wattpad's audience. We're speaking to nobody right now. Nothing we say matters anymore. I'm surprised we haven't gotten banned from the site already."

Tron: "Oh... Hey, what are we even doing? What was my mission again?"

Cuntfield: "I don't remember either, we've been talking so much that the author has resorted to using our names to remind the readers who's turn it is to speak. Let me look back at the chapter real quick, one second..."

3 seconds later...

Cuntfield: "Ah here we go. Zombie virus in Japan, go stop it."

Tron: "Oh yeah. Anyways... It's Tron'in time."

Cuntfield: "😑"

And so he Tron'd all over the place.