Hi.

So let me get one thing straight.

You are about to read a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY stupid story.

The comedy is crazy. It does not make sense. It's wild. It's unpredictable.

You will be confused at several points. There will be some references you will not understand. There will be 4th Wall Breaks. There will be outdated memes that are cringe to read several months from now. And there will be so much stupidity.

If you're familiar with movies such as Spaceballs, Top Secret, Blazing Saddles, Kung Fury, and the most heavily inspired one, Airplane! ; then you should have an idea of what to expect. That also means you'll probably get offended lol.

I'm here to say FUCK YOU POLITICS! We've got big busty women, we've got racial discrimination, we've got buff muscular shirtless black guys; we've got it all! As a plus, this book is written by a racist, sexist, misogynistic, transphobic straight white male. So uh, yeah I think that should cover your expectations lol.

But I try to offend everyone equally so no one gets left out or feels targeted :D

People on Wattpad get scared posting warnings for their book like "oh no, this book has violence ahhhhh. It's so disturbing you might cry, there's even... there's even cursing! please don't read my book if it offends you wahhhhh goo goo ga ga."

We've got all the warnings lol. I'm so brave with my unrestricted and uncensored jokes that I'll straight up demonstrate it by saying Taylor Swift is overrated.

Actually since we're talking about her, did you know she caused an earthquake? Lmao I'm not kidding, she had so many people attend a concert in Australia and they were all dancing to her music. A magnitude 3 earthquake happened because of it. 

Also, my good friend, Grammar, unfortunately passed away. He got shot 13 times in the head, stomped on by 5 elephants and was then blown the fuck up by an Israeli missile for literally no reason. He died later in the hospital from a bad fever. 

Oh shit you're still reading this? Thought you left already. Glad to have you aboard then.

Anyways... let's get into the book.

BUT WAIT

THERE'S MORE

Random jokes don't progress stories, so there will legitimately be some serious scenes with drama, realistic interactions, emotions and consequential decisions. Some chapters will be full with comedy. Others may have very limited comedy in terms of jokes, but they should still hopefully make you laugh and cry at the same time.

Without further ado...

Enjoy! 🩵

Now fuck off.