QUICK DISCLAIMER:

Protocol Tron is an experimental comedy that does not represent my original writing style. It was written out of boredom and in the excitement of trying something new. Comedy hasn't been my strong suit, but I figured I'd dabble in it to see how it goes. Therefore, a lot of the jokes I personally find funny may not sit well with others. Though after having a handful of friends ranging from their teenage years and up to their forties read this story; many of them hated the book for making them laugh. In fact, I was even encouraged to publish it, claiming the world could use a little bit of comedic controversy anyways. 

I'll happily take that compliment. 

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Hi.

So let me get one thing straight.

You are about to read a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY stupid story.

The comedy is crazy. It does not make sense. It's wild. It's unpredictable.

You will be confused at several points. There will be some references you will not understand. There will be 4th Wall Breaks. There will be outdated jokes that are cringe to read several months from now. And there will be so much stupidity.

If you're familiar with movies such as Spaceballs, Top Secret, Blazing Saddles, Kung Fury, and the most heavily inspired one, Airplane! ; then you should have an idea of what to expect. That also means you'll probably get offended lol.

I'm here to say FUCK YOU POLITICS! We've got big busty women, we've got racial discrimination, we've got buff muscular shirtless black guys; we've got it all! As a plus, this book is written by a straight white male, the most beloved, innocent, smartest, beautiful and charismatic human race in history! So uh, yeah, I think that should cover your expectations lol. Though if you don't understand sarcasm, then God help you.

But, I try to offend everyone equally so no one gets left out or feels targeted :D

Certain test audiences and some specific readers actually got offended because I DIDN'T make fun of them. So I had to include their ethnicities into the book, and they were happy. Whatever works, I guess! 

Anyways, most writers nowadays get scared posting warnings for their book. They're like "Oh no, this book has violence ahhhhhh. Someone gets slapped, and it's so disturbing you might cry, there's even... there's even cursing! Please don't read my book if this scares you! It scared me having to write it, but I was super brave for my wonderful readers, goo goo ga ga." 

You want to know what sort of warnings I have? Well, here's a scope: 

Heavy FUCKING cursing in this Christian book, super over-the-top explosive violence with added gore, unfunny memes, a whole lot of phobias, self-roasts so people don't think I'm a narcissist, reckless endangerment, copyright infringement, and a loss of brain cells. 

Read it at your own peril. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. 

Also, my good friend, Grammar, unfortunately passed away. He got shot thirteen times in the head, stomped on by five elephants and was then blown the fuck up by an Israeli missile for literally no reason. He died later in the hospital from a bad fever. 

Oh shit, you're still reading this? Thought you left already. Glad to have you aboard then.

Anyways... let's get into the book.

BUT WAIT
THERE'S MORE

Random jokes don't progress stories, so there will legitimately be some serious scenes with drama, realistic interactions, emotions and consequential decisions. Some chapters will be full with comedy. Others may have very limited comedy in terms of jokes, but they should still hopefully make you laugh and cry at the same time.

Without further ado...

Enjoy! 🩵

Now fuck off.