OMG 9K READS GUYS THIS IS HUGE TWO CHAPTERS AGO IT WAS 7K I LOVE YOU ALL

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It wasn't real, Evan thought to himself, running a hand through his hair as he thought over what had happened the night before. None of that happened, it was a dream, a crazy, stupid, out of the ordinary dream. He tried to convince himself, biting at his lip ring.

But why was it so real? So amazing? So much of everything I've always wanted but could never have? The thought popped into his head without warning, filling him with even more confusion.

When Jonathan had texted him, he just lied that he had been sleeping, the truth was he had been up since before his friend had even left for school. Last night really had him freaked out.

Because last night meant so much to him, so much more than anything else he had ever done.

Last night he had his first kiss, and it was so incredible that he couldn't believe it had happened. Because it couldn't happen.

You're a demon, he's a human. It  can't work, it will never work. Demons can't love, you can't love.......but that kiss was so incredible. Everything about that kiss was.....incredible.

Evan thought back to this morning, for at least the fifth time, and let everything sink in just a bit deeper.

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It was around six thirty in the morning, and Evan had woken up with Jonathan's arms wrapped around him and his own arms around Jonathan. His head was on Jonathan's chest and Jonathan's head was on top of his.

Without thinking, Evan smiled to himself, because he was happy, so, so happy.

He waited until the other boy woke up with a small yawn, but just as he was about to say good morning he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, realizing he didn't know how to act in this situation.

Jonathan gently moved his head as he slid out from underneath him. Evan could hear him say a quiet 'aww' before walking around his room to assumably get ready for school.

Evan stayed still, pretending to be asleep until he heard the front close to signify that Jonathan had completely left for school. But it was hard to not open his eyes when Jonathan had kissed the top of his head before leaving his room.

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That's how Evan came to be sitting on the edge of Jonathan's bed, nervously tugging on his lip ring and running a hand through his hair in panic.

For the first time since he had been at Jonathan's house, he was thinking about the whole reason he was there. In an instant all his worries crashed down on him, making him stress out way worse than usual, he was even on the verge of a panic attack.

Everything was just too much.

The argument with Craig, protecting everyone, hiding the fact that he was a demon, and now the kiss with Jonathan. It was too much to worry about all at once.

"Breathe, just breathe, Ev. You're cool, you're good, it's gonna be fine. Don't worry, just don't worry." He said to himself, looking like a madman to anyone who walked in the room. The way his hands ran through his hair so frantically, his teeth starting to tear the skin of his lip, and his eyes that looked so tired and scared you would think he's insane.

Jonathan gets home in a few hours, just hang on, hang on until then. You two are gonna talk it through and everything is gonna be good, stop driving yourself mad. He reasoned to himself, trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives

But, as a demon, that didn't really work out, and about an hour later he was on the floor curled into a ball.

"Everything's ruined, it's over, it's gone, I fucked up everything, I failed the mission. It's ruined, it's all fucking ruined!" He shouted, knowing he was alone since Jonathan's parents had left for work a few hours ago.

"I'm gonna have to go back home, oh Lucifer, Craig was right, he was right about everything! I'm reckless and stupid and can't do anything right!" He throat hurt as he choked back tears rushing to his eyes.

"Fuck! I'm so screwed.....everything is screwed and fucked and ruined and I should've listened to Craig.....I just should have fucking listened. This is what happens when I get attention, I fuck everything up! For Lucifer's sake it was better when I was invisible! When no one cared about me and everything went on without me.

"I can't do this, I just can't do this, it's impossible.....I can't....I just....nothings right....I..I want.......I want to go home!" He shouted, finally allowing himself to cry as he realized that was what he really wanted.

"I just want to go home, and hide in my room until I have to get up the next day for school. I want to know what's gonna happen everyday of my life, not try and guess who's house I'm going to with my friends. I....want.....to.....go....home."

He didn't even know that Jonathan was home until the bedroom door opened and his arms were wrapped around his shaking body, almost like how things were the night before.

"Hey, I'm right here, everything is fine, I'm right here, you're good, you're safe. Calm down, Ev, just calm down, it's gonna be alright." Jonathan said, rubbing his shoulders and letting Evan cry into his chest.

"No, no you don't get it, it's not okay, it's not alright, nothing is fine anymore!" Evan surprised even himself with that outburst, so much that his crying started to cease.

"Feeling better?" Jonathan asked in a caring, sweet voice as he looked at Evan, who had raised his head.

Evan numbly nodded, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes before Jonathan grabbed him and pulled him into another kiss.

Suddenly last night rushed through Evan's head, and he was pulled back into the innocent feeling of bliss and relief, followed by a feeling of pure joy. He never knew something so small could make him feel so good.

The kiss lasted longer than the one from the night before had, but Evan wasn't complaining at all as he felt his nerves melt away in the span of just a few heartbeats.

And when they pulled away from each other, Evan knew he had a stupid grin smeared across his face as he stared at the boy in front of him.

"Better?" Jonathan asked, staring right back at Evan with a grin.

"Much." Evan replied happily, still in a daze from the kiss.

"Good, now get dressed, I'm taking you for ice cream." Jonathan said, standing up. "And if you get dressed quickly I might just kiss you again." He added in a singsong voice.

Evan suddenly sprang up, picking up his bag and proceeding to the bathroom to change, nearly falling over in the process.

Jonathan laughed as he sat down on his bed, smiling as he heard Evan cuss when something went wrong, because something about that moment was just so perfect. Something about Evan was just....perfect.

Evan was perfect, from his lip ring to his jet black hair all the way to his care-free attitude, and not because he was some stereotypical bad boy, but because he was everything Jonathan needed, and everything he wanted.

Evan thought differently, because he was a demon and demons do that a lot. Yes, he did think Jonathan was amazing and loved the way his heart raced when he was around him, but he didn't know why it did that, because he didn't get educated with the idea of love. He got educated on hate and spite and everything that was bad about the world.

So, when he thought of Jonathan, all he could think of was he needed him like an addict needed drugs, how Lucifer needed a sinner, how a demon needed danger, because everything was just that good.

But that kiss, oh, that kiss, he knew that kiss would be the death of him.