"No solution can ever be found by running in three different directions." - Deepak Chopra

CHAPTER V: Direction

"HI."

Zeref nearly choked on the piece of bread that Mirajane – the demon mage – had given him. He'd stayed in Fairy Tail for a grand total of three days so far, and no one had come up to talk to him since. Not that he felt really sad over that—he was used to it, and it was better for him not to form attachments. Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his eyes to meet the steady stare of the brown-eyed girl with blond hair—the Celestial mage, Natsu's friend. She had a white bandage wrapped around her neck still, but he figured that she was recovering since she was able to walk around already.

"Um..."

She smiled a little, her initial wary expression melting away a little into something a little more open. Friendly? Kind? He didn't know how to describe her face—it had been a very long time since he had been around people who weren't aristocrats trying to receive the most power.

"Don't worry. I don't bite. Well, until you break into my apartment, steal my food or destroy a building. Then you may get a Lucy Kick."

Lucy must be her name then. He didn't understand the list though, but he nodded as if he did. It was probably some Fairy Tail thing—Mavis had always been a bit crazy. (Not like him.) "Okay. I won't do any of that."

She groaned and sat down in the chair. "Ugh, don't say that. Now you probably will someday. Everyone has broken into my apartment just once, even if it's just to say they have."

That... was a whole new level of insanity. He knew there was a reason why he had been attracted to Mavis before her curse. She was just as insane as he was. Her guild proved it. The girl—Lucy—smiled widely, like a sunbeam maybe? If the sun could be in a person, that is. "You get use to it eventually."

"I... will?"

"You will."

He considered asking her more about that, but decided against it before he really thought it through. He wouldn't be in Fairy Tail long enough to anyway; they would probably turn him into the council long before he could understand them. Heavens know that was what he would do if he was in their place.

"All right," she suddenly sounded like she was preparing for some battle, which brought his attention back to her. "I need to recharge the suppressant."

He automatically lifted the sleeve of his toga so that the small metal bracelet shone in the sunlight. Lucy pulled out a silver key— Wait, was she the Celestial Mage? Before he could ask, or react, she was chanting, "Gate of the southern cross, I open thee! Crux!"

Later, if someone asked him to describe what Lucy's magic looked like, he would describe it as light. A golden glow lit up around the key she brandished in the air, and he could hear a hum that sounded like bell chimes. The air stirred around him.

A silver cross appeared out of thin air, floating up and down as if it were a boat. Part of him wanted to take the clock apart to see if it had some type of machine that enabled it to fly; the other part yelled at that part for thinking about technology that was long gone in the past. But then he realized that this nice girl had summoned the cross; that she was a Celestial Mage... and he had to physically control the urge to flinch away from her.

Slavery. Charisma. Danger.

"Hi Crux!"

"Hello, Lucy-sama!"

He was quite familiar with how fear sounded and looked like, and he could not hear it coming from Crux's voice. There was adoration in it, and an underlying fierce protectiveness that he couldn't quite understand. Oh, he understood protectiveness —he felt it toward Natsu, even now—and he certainly knew what adoration was thanks to Tartaros, but what he did not understand was why they were directed at this girl. She was, in essence, their master and they were her slaves; surely they would resent her for her cruelty?

"Are you willing to help me recharge Zeref's suppressants?"

She was... not demanding him to help? She didn't expect his help? He didn't understand, and there were few things he no longer understood. Celestial mages were cruel; they expected much and gave little.

"You don't even need to ask!"

Lucy stuck her tongue out at him. "Yes, I do."

Zeref's head spun a little. This was too much; he didn't...

"Why does he look so pale?" A deep female voice asked, and a half-naked woman sat down on Lucy's side, cradling a brown, barrel-like mug. He focused on her rather than Lucy, because it was easier to focus on half-naked women than girls who made him want to run away. Lucy looked away from Crux and frowned at him.

"I don't know Cana. Maybe he's had too much excitement in too little time after getting hurt saving me and Natsu..."

Zeref barked out a laugh. The irony left a sour taste on his tongue. "No, it's not that. I'm nearly fully recovered. You're just not who I was expecting."

Lucy tilted her head. "You were lying in a puddle of your own blood not five days again. How are you already almost fully recovered?" She touched the bandage around her neck, but then she smiled widely. "And I'm not who a lot of people think I should be."

"Still can't handle any booze..." the woman grumbled, tipping her head back and gulping down whatever she was drinking. Zeref had a feeling it was alcohol by the smell.

"I heal fast." He explained, not divulging more than that. Sometimes, he healed fast like when he was on a rampage; other times, when his curse wanted to torture him, he healed unbearably slow.

"Lucy-san?" Crux interrupted. Lucy suddenly turned serious and nodded.

"Right."

She leaned over suddenly, and he leaned away from her, but she ignored him, snatching the hand that hand the wristband on it. Immediately, he was powerless when the warmth that emitted through her skin surrounded his wrist, her fingers clutching it in a viselike grip before loosening up. Her palm was rough, with little holes in it but he couldn't think of the right word to describe it. It had been so long someone had touch him... at least a couple hundred years.

"Okay, see this?" She was playing with the wristband, until some little light was blinking up at him. Her finger (why on earth was it painted purple?) was pointed at the little dots; there were two of them blinking up at him. "This measures the magical power stored up in the bracelet. It looks like one dot is drained each day, but you should make sure to keep an eye on it just to make sure it's not going through faster. Levy-chan's and Freed's runes have the anti-curse particulars, but my magic is the one that activates them, so you should come to one of us if something happens. I'd rather we keep it over three bars, just in case the less magic there is in it, the more likely your curse will escape."

"You... know it's a curse?" he asked, frowning. It surprised him that they had realized it; because it behaved in a very magic-like way. She leaned away from him, letting go of his hand and plopping her hands on her waist.

"Of course." She declared, almost imperiously, as she lifted her chin up in the air. And then a sheepish smile appeared on her face. "Well, at first we didn't. First Master had to tell us."

First Master... Mavis. What is she doing, letting them keep me here? She, more than anyone, knows how dangerous I can be...

"That's amazing." He murmured. "When I was little, magic wasn't advanced enough to create something like this. Well, it wasn't needed anyway..."

He looked away. A sudden chill settled deep inside of his bones, and he crossed his ankles to get rid of it. How many people were like him? How many despicable people like him where there out there, where someone had to create a magic suppressant?

Her hands suddenly took his again, and he gasped out of surprise. Her brown eyes were angry—actually, they were smoldering like they were about to catch on fire, and her smile had turned upside down. "Zeref. I'm not sure what to think about you. I don't believe you're evil, but you're certainly not a good person either. I don't believe you deserve to be thrown to the council, because they will take you in for testing of some sort, and they'll execute you once they've found out everything they can get. We will protect you. But if you dare to hurt one of my precious friends, I will track you down and kill you with my own bare hands."

He swallowed. His mouth had turned very dry. This woman with the smile like sunshine had more depths to her than he'd realize, and he could see a resolve like steel in her eyes. She wasn't that scared little girl she'd once been on Tenroejamah Island; this was someone who could be one of his greatest friends, or his worst enemy. Like Mavis.

He closed his fingers around her wrist. "I'm not going to hurt you, or Mavis' guild. At least, while I am sound in mind like I am now. I'm many things, but a liar is not one of them." He released her, and she rubbed her wrist.

"You have a tight grip." Her voice was flat. He rubbed the back of his head and winced.

"Sorry. I haven't touched another human in decades."

She sighed and leaned forward, taking his wrist again. "It doesn't matter. Ready Crux?"

"Yes, Miss."

Zeref watched as her eyes and hands seemed to glow with something that looked like starlight. The wristband beep three times, and she pulled away, wiping her forehead with her arm.

"Whew," she said. "That takes out quite a bit of energy. I might have to do it every day instead."

He stared at the wristband; it was clearly full, with five neon green lights instead of just two. He shuddered, and his eyes burned though he held the tears back. In a way, this was a form of relief from Akrasharum. His thoughts were no longer clouded, two separate sides of him at war with each other—they had a startling clarity to them he hadn't had in such a long time.

He looked up and smiled a little. The muscles in his face ached from the unfamiliar gesture. "Thank you."

She blinked, and then she smiled back widely. "Eh? Don't mention it." She turned to Crux. "Thanks for helping me, Crux!"

"It was my pleasure, Lucy-sama!" Crux bowed a little, before he dissolved into starlight. She smiled and stood, brushing her hands off against her dress.

"Well, I'm going to find Natsu. I haven't seen him in a day."

He shifted awkwardly in his seat while she walked away. That was probably his fault.

"You look guilty, Zeref." Cana spoke up, making him jump. He'd forgotten she was there. He turned around just in time to catch her chug down a mug of ale or something. Her brown eyes pierced his as she dropped the mug. "What's up with that?"

"Um..."

What am I supposed to say now?

_______________

"Hey."

Natsu looked up, away from the river, and over his shoulder. Lucy was walking toward him, a basket slung over her shoulder as she shielded her eyes from the sun. He smiled a little and waved.

"Lucy."

She sat down next to him, took her shoes off and placed her feet in the river. Silently, he marveled yet again at the change in her—she stood taller, and her hair was so much longer.

"I brought lunch," she said, turning and pulling out a platter of dumplings out of her bag along with two bottles of water. He took the one he gave her, salivating when she began to unwrap the dumplings from their packaging. "They're chicken, since I didn't have any pork or shrimp in my fridge. Again. I want six of them; you can have the rest."

He hugged her, and she yelped. "You're the best Lushy!" He declared loudly, startling some of the birds. She wriggled her hands in the air, and he let go of her.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Let go of me, bear. Where's Happy?"

"With Charle and Wendy," he said as he bit into the first dumpling. It steamed in his mouth, and his eyes watered from the taste. So good. When did she get so good at cooking? The last time he had something of hers it had been burnt spaghetti. Was it even possible to burn spaghetti?

"Really?" She laughed a little as she bit into her dumpling. She hummed in the back of her throat in approval, closing her eyes. "Has she finally accepted his fish?"

He took his third dumpling and plopped it into his mouth. He chewed for a moment and spoke around it, "I think so, actually." He swallowed. "Wendy's babysitting Asuka, and she wanted someone to go with her in case there was trouble. Happy said he would before anybody had time to even offer to go with her."

"Hmm." She crossed her legs, facing him. He crossed his legs and faced her back, though he reached for another dumpling. Their hands brushed. "So, how come you haven't been at the guild all day?"

There it is. He thought, looking away from her. Nothing could get pass her anymore, he noticed. She'd become much more observant—observant, and withdrawn from everybody. Sometimes it sucked, and sometimes it was awesome. The problem was that he didn't want to tell her why—didn't want to tell her he was just avoiding Zeref. Coward, part of him hissed. You're avoiding him for no reason. He's not your brother, after all... unless, you believe him, of course.

"Is it Zeref?"

He met her eyes, surprised at how quickly she guessed it. He nodded silently, and then he spoke up. "Luce..." But then the words died in the back of his throat. Bubbled and fizzled out. He huffed.

"What did he say to you?" Her words were confused, but there was something angry in them too. "Or did he do something?"

"No, he didn't do anything. I swear, Lucy." He added when she didn't look convinced. He struggled for a moment. He should tell her. She was his best friend, and she knew everything about him. She wouldn't judge him. "It's just..."

It was so absurd though. To be his brother. Zeref's brother. That would make him over four hundred years old, or something. But no matter how much he tried to say that, he kept thinking about the sincerity in Zeref's eyes... why would he take a blow for someone he hated? Well, unless it was to get under the enemy's skin. If that was what he was trying to do, he was certainly succeeding.

"Natsu."

He exploded. "It's just so stupid though! I mean, I shouldn't let what he said bother me. It's probably a lie, after all! But he'd have to be a really good actor to fake that sincerity in his eyes. I mean, honestly. I'm an idiot for letting it get to me."

She blinked, and held her hands up in a "Time Out" gesture. "Whoa, hold on a moment. What did he tell you?"

For a moment, he considered flat out lying, or saying something like haha just kidding, but he didn't want to damage their already rocky relationship further. That gap he'd created when he first left was finally closing, and he couldn't do anything to damage that. He flipped back into the grass, flinging his arms out.

"Zeref said he was my brother. Well, he said I was his brother. Younger brother."

"Oh. Well. That sounds like something out of some soap opera."

He snorted. Her and her references to stories. He sat up again, so he could see her face. "Tell me about it. I feel like I'm in some insanely obvious play."

She chuckled, before sobering. "First off, you're not an idiot. To be honest, if the evilest wizard in history told me I was their sister, I'd freak out too. That explains why you were yelling at him."

"I just snapped," he admitted ruefully. He didn't know what had come over him that day. It wasn't in his nature to feel so angry. But then, he seemed angry a lot of the time now. She nodded.

"Well, let's try to use logic."

He rolled his eyes. "Yay. Logic. I love logic."

She ignored his sarcasm. "It's pretty obvious you're a little upset over this— "

"A little?!"

"—which is to be expected, but you might be obsessing over it a little."

"I am obsessing over it, Lucy."

"So, let's begin with the igniting point—"

"The what?"

"Natsu, shut up. I'm trying to explain something here." He mimicked zipping his lips up, and shivered when her glare hardened. He nodded quickly; no way was he getting on her bad side again. "Okay. So, Zeref saved your life when he threw himself in front of you. Why?"

When she didn't answer his question, he frowned and thought over it for a moment. Why did Zeref save his life? The only reason he could think of was if he was trying to make them trust him, or out of real affection... but that was ridiculous. Zeref had tried to kill him. Multiple times.

Well, not really. A tiny voice in the back of his head whispered.

Tenroe Island. Tartaros.

You were the one who attacked first, remember?

...Oh.

"The only reasons I can think of are out of affection, or because he's trying to infiltrate Fairy Tail for First's body." Lucy said, taking a dumpling and biting into it. He copied her motions. "So, he could be telling the truth. Perhaps you are his brother, somehow. But that wouldn't make any sense, since you're like... eighteen?"

"Nineteen." He corrected.

"Right. Well, it obvious you're not, like, four-hundred years old." She muttered something under her breath, something about a crush but he couldn't quite make out what she was saying. Before he could ask, she continued, "So, he could be lying so that he could infiltrate the guild. But why would he tell you so early? I mean, it's obvious you don't trust him. And I don't think he's an entirely bad guy either."

Natsu was silent for a few moments, before he groaned. "Luce, I'll leave the logic stuff to you. It's making my head spin."

She smiled a little. "Sorry. I'll give you the short version: we don't know what the heck is up with Zeref. We don't know what his intentions are, and we don't know if he's telling the truth."

"So, we're back at square one."

"Basically."

"That's helpful." He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess this just means more watching?"

Lucy nodded. "Pretty much."

They both sighed. He took the last dumpling and bit into it, turning back to the river. She put the plate back in the basket, and then she scooted over so that their arms were brushing. The water rushed past her foot, dividing around it.

"Hey, Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you always know when I need something to cheer me up?"

She looked at him. "I don't know. A feeling? But then, it feels like I barely know you anymore, sometimes..."

It was the same with her. Sometimes, he had a hard time gauging how he should act around her. Like now. For a moment, he wanted to apologize—for what, he didn't know, except that he thought that she might be angry at him. She'd been angrier, since the guild had reformed. But he didn't know how to apologize for something that he didn't cause and didn't know how to fix. So, he let the words go.

They kept watching the water, the silence thick between them.

_________________

Zeref knew when the drunk girl – Cana – appeared in the door frame of the room he slept in, something was going on. Her brown eyes were serious, which was a strange expression for her since she was usually acting like an idiot.

"Come with me." She said, gesturing with her bottle before she took a swig from it. He stood up, putting the book down Lucy's friend, Levy, had given him about fairy tales – what? It was boring not doing anything and being able to think clearly. He was convinced that Natsu was somehow watching him, though he hadn't seen him since the disastrous day a week ago.

Cana's long hair swayed down her bare back as she walked ahead of him about ten steps, leading him through the maze of corridors of the Fairy Tail basement. The one time he had adventured out to get food, he'd ended up hopelessly lost until that guy who could speak in heads had saved him... and after an intense interrogation in which he had to state that he had not been after Fairy Heart, they had released him into Mirajane's custody.

...She was quite scary, actually. Kindness practically radiated off of her, but there was something dangerous deep in her blue eyes that he didn't want to provoke.

"So, uh, is this something that you have to keep as a top secret, or are you allowed to tell me what you're doing?" He asked, clearing his throat. Apparently, his conversational hadn't improved in four hundred years – if anything, they had only worsened. She looked over her shoulder, and then shrugged.

"I'm not sure what Master Makarov wants with you, exactly. Just told me to get you and for Happy to get Lucy and the rest of Team Natsu."

How helpful. He shoved that thought away. There was rarely a time or a place for sarcasm, and if he wanted these people to keep giving him curse suppressants, then he'd have to reign back his ever-increasing sarcastic streak.

He swallowed anyway. He was rather nervous, he could admit to himself. (By nervous, he meant that his hands were sweaty and he felt like his legs had turned into Jell-O.) If this was his "trial" of sorts, then they would be voting to either throw him out to the wolves' jaws (likely) or to take him under their wing (uncertain).

"Zeref," Cana's tone was flat. "We're not going to let the council take you in unfairly."

"I know," he admitted softly. "Though I think it's what I deserve for everything I've done..."

"It is." She said flatly.

"Thanks."

"But..." she continued on, stopping. He stopped too. "There's something wrong with the council. It's corrupt, I think... to turn you in to them would mean that you could be examined, tortured... abused... They'd probably study you, to figure out how to become immortal like you are."

"They're idiots." He muttered under his breath. "Any person who tries to gain immortality is foolish."

She looked up at him, her eyes confused. "Wait. Didn't you go looking for immortality though?"

He nearly laughed as he shook his head. "Of course not. I was a healer's apprentice; she drilled into my skull that I can't mess with the natural cycle of life... though I did do that anyway. When I delved into the Black arts to resurrect my brother, I was cursed with this unaging body. I never knew it would happen."

"You were a healer, like Wendy?" She sounded shocked. He shook his head.

"Only an apprentice. I never finished my training. Back then, magic wasn't nearly as developed so we relied much more on technology that was powered by something called electricity. The only magic I studied was kind of like a general magic, except it was in a much weaker form."

"Oh." She frowned slightly, almost as if she was trying to wrap her mind around the idea that the wickedest mage in history, the one that killed countless people, had once trained to be a physician. Sometimes, it was hard for him to wrap his mind around it himself; that that person and the one he was now were still of the same essence. He had been so different back then; so much happier, so full of hope. Now, he just wanted to die so that he wouldn't keep hurting people, but the only way for him to die was for E.N.D. to kill him. He doubted Natsu was ready for E.N.D. to activate, if his reaction a week ago was any indication.

She opened the door and stepped aside. He frowned. "Aren't you coming in too?" He asked, but she shook her head.

"Nope. I know better than to get involved when Master Makarov summons Team Natsu. Good luck surviving." Her voice was nonchalant as she walked away, and he stared at her. She just walked away after saying something like that. Why would she do that? Was there some double meaning behind her words, or—

"Hello." He looked over his shoulder. The red head girl who wore armor was walking his way, eating a piece of cake – were there strawberries on it – though the guardedness in her eyes was quite clear to him. "We should go inside."

"Err, okay?" He wouldn't admit it out loud, but now he was nervous. He'd seen this girl take on the entire guild in a brawl yesterday, and she had great a temper if her yelling at that ice mage and Natsu was any indication. He really didn't want to antagonize her. Her lips twitched.

"Don't worry. I won't let Natsu or Gray drag you into one of their brawls."

That... wasn't very comforting. At all. Why in the world would Natsu be in a brawl anyway?

Oh, wait. That was normal. Natsu fought a lot now. Right. He'd always been skilled in martial arts, but he had become more offensive during his time when he was the guild master of Tartaros.

So, (quite bravely in his professional opinion) he stepped through the threshold of Makarov's office... and had to jump out of the way when an fully formed crystal ice cut through the air. It impaled in the door, by the girl's head. Her cake slid off its plate and hit the floor with a thud.

The fire in Natsu's palm went out, and the ice that had been crystallizing in the black haired mage's hand – Gray? – melted and dripped against the ground. While Zeref was silently freaking out in his head about nearly being impaled, the rational side of his brain noted that their gazes were fixated on the red head, whose face was shadowed as she stared down at the slice of (destroyed) cake on the ground.

"E-Erza. We didn't mean to!" Natsu's voice cracked. Her gaze snapped up, and Zeref could swear it was practically burning holes with a lethal force.

He shuddered and inched away from her. It had been a while since he'd known someone with a glare like that— Layla's had been something to behold.

The woman suddenly charged, and Natsu and Gray screamed and ran away from each other, in opposite directions. The small blue haired girl who healed him was sitting at the table, slipping demurely at her cup, completely ignoring the chaos as papers flew everywhere, flashes of light filled the room as the curtains lit on fire and Gray's really familiar ice magic iced the desk and door. He took one step forward and skidded across the room, waving his arms around in a cartwheel to keep him balance.

How did this happen? He wailed silently in his head as he managed to grab a hold of the iced down chair and sit on it. There. They should ignore him now.

"Don't worry," the girl said, looking away from her glass. She smiled at him. "Master Makarov should be here, or maybe Lucy-san soon. They'll stop then."

Erza roared something he couldn't quite decipher, and Gray and Natsu shrieked in unison. When he looked up, they were clutching each other like their lives depended on it while she stalked on them with her sword raised, as if she were a cat and they were mice.

Why didn't he join a nice, sane guild? He wondered silently. I'm going to get a heart attack or stroke or even cardiac arrest.

"Will they even survive long enough?"

"I think so." She said, tapping her chin. She looked at him. "Oh! I'm sorry! I never told you my name. It's Wendy." She held her hand out, and for a moment he wasn't sure what to do with it—and then it dawned on him. Handshake. She wanted to shake his hand. Gingerly, like he could poison her (it could happen), he took it and shook.

"Nice meeting you, Wendy. I'm Zeref."

She smiled at him. She seemed to smile a lot, like Mavis. "I already knew that. Oh, wait... I mean, it's kind of hard not to know about you, Zeref-san. Wait. That came out the wrong way too... I'm sorry!"

He smiled a little, and then he realized he was smiling. It had been a long time since he'd smiled without thinking about it. A century, at least? Maybe two? "Don't worry. I know I don't have the... most favorable reputation."

She winced, but then her eyes turned shrewd—a look that was too old for someone as young a face as hers. "For someone who's supposedly the most evil wizard in history, you're not very mean."

He blinked. He had no idea how to respond to something like that. Most people weren't observant enough to see that in the first place, and he rarely spoke to people because of his curse.

"Wendy..." he murmured, and he frowned, because he didn't know how to put what he was thinking into words. "I'm not sure if you are able to understand this, but intentions and motivations are not black and white. Some people are bad, but they do good things; and then there are good people who do horrible, despicable things. It's not a question of right and wrong, or good and evil, it's more about a question of motives and choices. The choices you make boil down to whether you are good, or if you are evil; the truth of the matter simply is that no human being is born good or evil. We all have the potential to be a hypocrite, cowards, selfish and cruel, but we also have the potential to be just, courageous, kind and selfless."

When he looked at her, she looked like he'd just blown up a few brain cells. He smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. My father was a philosopher, and he used to torture us by ranting about moral issues."

"A what?" Another girl said, and Lucy sat down on the final free chair. She was tying her hair up into a ponytail, holding the round... thingy in her mouth. She lifted her hand and took it out of her mouth, tying it to her hair. She met his eyes.

"Erm..." he rubbed the back of his neck. "A thinker." That was the closest description he could think of to describe his father. He'd been a strange man, whose only predictability was that he would be unpredictable.

"YOU BRATS DESTROYED MY OFFICE!"

The tiny man had a pair of lungs on him. Zeref swerved around just as Makarov stomped into the office. Erza dropped Natsu and Gray on the floor, a blank look of surprise on all three of their faces.

"They started it!" She pointed at them, and Zeref rolled his eyes. Pointing fingers when she had an equal part in the destruction? That was low. Not even he would have done that when he was still a child, and he'd been a tattletale on Natsu.

Makarov sighed and shook his head. "Forget it." He mumbled, and he sat down with a loud sigh. Natsu walked up and leaned on Lucy's chair, his gaze burning the back of Zeref's head. When he looked up though, Natsu glanced away. Of course he would. He always did that when he was guilty over something.

"So, can you explain why Zeref is here, and why we're all here too, Master?" Lucy asked, her eyes curious and tone level, but Zeref remembered how she easily she threatened him- and he had no doubt she hadn't meant it. 

Lucy had leaned back into the chain and had intertwined her fingers over her stomach. She was relaxed then. That was strange; normally, people always tensed around him, even if they didn't know who he was. Originally, he knew it was because of how sarcastic he'd once been when he was younger. Now, it was probably because they sensed the big bad wolf within him.

"Right." Makarov steepled his fingers together, leaning forward. Zeref copied it unconsciously. "Well, I have not decided Zeref's verdict, however... I believe he should go around with you. Tag along, that is what you call it nowadays, right?"

"What? But—"

Makarov leveled his gaze on Natsu, who went silent. "No protests, Natsu. My mind has been made up."

Natsu nodded silently and looked down. Zeref glanced away, closing his eyes. He knew why Natsu was protesting; he didn't like him, especially after he'd told him they were brothers. And why should he? He was the most evil mage in history.

"That is all. Natsu, stay a moment please."

Zeref stood and followed the red head out the door, but he stopped in the threshold and turned around. "Natsu?"

His younger brother stiffened, and without looking up at him, he said, "Yes?"

He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." And then he left, because he couldn't face him.

Coward.

But that was what he was; it all boiled down to that. He'd been too scared to save Natsu in that fire; his legs had frozen, as if he had been a deer caught in headlights. And then he had been too scared to live without him, so he had resurrected him and cursed himself with eternal life. And now he was too scared to face him again.

Idiot.

___________________

Natsu wasn't quite sure what to think when Zeref left, leaving him sitting there with Jii-chan. He'd just left without explaining anything to him, and how was he supposed to respond to that? He wasn't even sure what he was sorry for.

Other than being my brother. Except that's a lie. Maybe he's sorry for lying about being my brother?

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, flattening it for a moment before it popped back up like a porcupine again. There were so many things he didn't understand about that man. Part of him felt guilty for treating him like he had the plague, but he just... couldn't do it. Those black eyes might trick him into believing him.

Then again, maybe they already had.

"You're troubled, Natsu." Jii-chan said, his gray eyes soft and warm, welcoming. They told him to lay down his secrets, to confide in him. To trust him. And Natsu did. So he told him.

"I am... I just... I don't know what to do anything, Jii-chan. I thought I knew who I am... Natsu Dragneel, son of the Fire Dragon Igneel, a member of Fairy Tail. But after what he said that night... I don't know. I just... it doesn't make sense anymore."

"What did he tell you?"

He leaned forward and buried his head behind his arms. "That I'm his brother." He whispered, and with that, he felt like an invisible weight had dropped off his shoulders. He suddenly could breathe easier, as he'd just been liberated. And suddenly, it just couldn't stop. The words slid off his tongue, like water over oil. "I don't understand it. I mean, he's barking mad. I shouldn't believe him. He's a twisted man who is probably trying to get me to trust him for some reason. But... I can't stop thinking about it. What if his name is Zeref Dragneel? What if we really are brothers? But that's crazy. He's over four hundred years old, and I'm not even twenty years old. Have I gone mad?" He blinked when he realized his eyes were stinging, and he wiped his hands across them. Jii-chan was staring at him with a sad expression, as if he pitied him and Natsu hated that. Because he wasn't someone to be pitied.

"You haven't gone mad, Natsu." That was less reassuring than he'd thought it would be. Jii-chan stared at him, his old eyes wise and tired all at once. "I don't think Zeref is lying to you, Natsu—he believes himself, at least. You have to realize that there are things out there you can't explain, things that should be impossible, are, in fact, quite possible. A man is neither truly evil or truly good; there are a million shades of grade in between. He's not a bad person; he's just made some horrible mistakes, and there is still humanity left inside of him, now that he's in a sound mind. That's why I haven't handed him over to the council yet."

Natsu blinked, once, twice, three times, and then he sighed. "I still can't believe we're brothers." And he couldn't, though he couldn't convince himself that Zeref was lying either. And that was the heart of the matter; he couldn't believe Zeref, but he couldn't believe he was lying either. Because to believe Zeref would mean that he would have living family, who had the same blood running through his veins as he did. To admit that... it scared him, but it also gave him hope too. And that scared him. Because if Zeref was lying, and he was wrong, then he really would be the last person left. Because yes, Erza and Popsicle and Lucy an Happy and Juvia and Levy and Wendy and Metal Stick and all the others were family, but to have a brother... to having a sibling, related to him by blood and birth... someone who would be his friend for life...

"That is something you're going to have to learn on your own, Natsu. I can't tell you what is right or wrong in this matter; only you can determine that."

He sank lower into his chair and groaned softly. The problem with that was that he didn't trust himself to distinquish between truths and falsities. 

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Yeah, I've decided just to post these without editing them at this point - I've accepted that if I edit this, I'll never complete it. Updates will be every Saturday until chapter 12 (which is the final chapter).