“Ross, please,” I say, crying into his neck as I grip his shirt with one hand. “Please don’t leave me. You have to make it… I… I love you…”

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to get up,” a man says. “Stretcher’s here. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of him.”

I can’t stop the tears from falling as I watch Ross being lifted off the floor and onto the stretcher. A pool of blood has formed where his head once rested, and some of it has gotten onto what was my originally solid green shirt. As much as it hurts me to look at him and know I caused this, I can’t tear my eyes away from his face. Though it is pale and blood from his head continues to stain the pillow, to me, he’s never been more beautiful.

I follow the two men as they bring Ross to the ambulance, wanting to be by his side for as long as I can. On our way there, a softly spoken, “Amelia?” reaches my ears. One look at him as he slowly opens his eyes causes me to burst into tears again.

Now with him and the men in the elevator, I reach for his hand and try not to panic when I feel how cold it is. I say quietly, “Ross, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault… I should have listened to you.” I lower my head, unable to meet his gaze. “That should have been me… I’m so sorry.”

Ross’s other hand covers mine, and another sob instantly escapes my trembling lips. “No, Amelia… Please don’t say that. You have parents who are eager to see you… who would be heartbroken if…” His voice becomes quieter and softer as he continues to speak. I breathe in deeply, and when I’m ready to release the air, more sobs come out. “And… I’d rather die, knowing you have a chance than live dead inside… Without you, I mean… You’re all I had left in this world.”

As my eyes fill with fresh tears, I say, “And you still have me.” His smile is weak, and I see right through it.

Ross’s grip on my hand suddenly tightens as he breathes in slowly through gritted teeth, his eyes closed. “In case this is my last chance to tell you how I truly feel…” He pauses for a moment, then opens his eyes again. “Amelia, I love you, and only you... I don’t really have a girlfriend… I never did. I’m sorry I lied to you… I…”

Closing my eyes, I bend down and gently kiss his soft lips, which now have a noticeable bluish tint. “Ross, it’s okay,” I whisper against them before kissing them again. He responds just as softly, but only for a second. When I raise my head to look into his eyes, I see that they are still closed. My voice shakes slightly when I say, “Ross?” But I don’t get a response. It grows louder each time I repeat his name, but not once does he answer.

“No…” I whisper. Quickly turning to the closest EMT, I beg, “Please, you have to help him! Do everything you can.”

“I promise that we’ll do everything in our power to help him,” he tells me. The other nods in confirmation, but his face shows how hopeless he believes this situation is.

I feel as if my legs weigh tons, and I’m suddenly unable to move when the elevator doors open on the first floor. The men wheel the stretcher out, and I watch through tear filled eyes as Ross is taken farther and farther away from me. “It’s all my fault,” I whisper. I try to hold in the worst of my tears, at least until the doors close, but find that it’s just too hard. As they begin to slide toward each other, cutting off my view of Ross, I sink slowly to my knees, collapsing inside.

Christopher’s words come back to me for the first time since all of this happened. How could he have known what was down the road? If a complete stranger had seen it, why hadn’t I?

The Christmas music playing in this elevator is doing the opposite of what it normally does. Usually it would comfort me, but now I just want to rip the speakers out. The holiday is only one week away. It’s not supposed to be like this… This is not how Christmas is supposed to go… I bury my face in my hands, almost forgetting where I am as I sob uncontrollably into them.

“Amelia,” is said several times. Each time it goes by ignored… but then I recognize the voice. My eyes widen as I slowly remove my hands from my face. Kneeling before me as she stares into my eyes with concern in her own is my mother. She looks slightly older than I remember, but I shouldn’t be surprised.

I throw my arms around her neck, overwhelmed by the various types of emotions my heavy heart is having to endure. I’m able to force out a, “Mom, I’m sorry…”

“Shhh,” she replies. “Amelia, I’m sorry for ever leaving you behind.” That’s what I’ve always wanted to know… Those are the very words I’ve always wanted to hear. But for some reason, they don’t sound as sweet to my ears as I imagined they would. Instead, it leaves me feeling worse.

“I just wanted to bring Dad home,” I say, pulling away from her and looking down. She takes my hands and helps me to my feet as she gets up as well.

My mother says softly, “I know, baby, and of course I understand. You’ve always been strong-willed… You’ve always had a Pit Bull mentality… I remember that well. I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming.”