It is excruciating to watch you with that who I shall not name

The name that I shall not utter

The person that I will not acknowledge

The snake that I will not fall prey too, did not fall prey to

The excruciation I felt in the pits of my heart burnt and bubbled and boiled me. It broke me just a crack...

A crack big enough to splinter my composure, my chin held high, my eyes watching forward, my heart behind a wall not even trump can get over.

It was excruciating to watch you become wrapped up only to see you get strangled.

It wasn't excruciating to watch you suffer, for you deserved it for what you did to me, and for what you didn't give me.